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    Newbies Nest

    jenniech;1524078 wrote: If you are thinking about moderating, do a google search on Moderation Management and in particular, the woman who founded that organization. Very sad.
    Hi Jennie,

    It's great to hear from you!! Thanks for this information. I'm not thinking about moderating because if I have one drink something changes in my brain and I become unable to stop drinking until I collapse. So no moderation for me!! However, I want to educate myself about moderation so that I can try to provide useful information when people ask me about it.

    I meet with a small group a women in my home about once a week. We are all in the process of learning to live without alcohol being a part of our lives. Two or three of the gals have tried moderation in the past and failed miserably. They have concluded that the only thing that is going to work for them is to completely stop drinking. The rest of us in the group had already come to that conclusion.

    For me, I have a somewhat simple mind. It's more straightforward to have made the decision not to drink. If I were attempting to moderate, I would be required to make decisions about alcohol all of the time. It seems to me that the process would be cumbersome and even exhausting. And, as I've already said, I'd end up totally drunk no matter how careful my calculations had been.

    Well, enough rambling. I have two happy dogs here, tails wagging, anticipating a yummy breakfast!! inkele: Yup, this is a pink elephant; not a dog. I see that. The elephant offered to show us how a happy Lab looks while waiting for breakfast!! :H:H
    Tess in The Nest ~ Sober since January 1, 2013

    The man pulling radishes
    pointed the way
    with a radish. ISSA

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      Newbies Nest

      Hi Tess, +1 about "moderation." It would be like having a lion for a pet without any cage...
      "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
      AF 11/12/11

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        Newbies Nest

        Hey Nesters,

        Just wanted to chime in on something being discussed here:

        It's so true that alcohol just makes things worse. So I wonder why I can still be "tricked" into thinking that alcohol is the solution to the pain that life sometimes brings to all of us.
        Here is a quote by David Sheff from Clean - Overcoming Addiction and Ending America's Greatest Tragedy:

        "addicts can become confused, irascible, and irrational, because their illness is rooted in the very brain center that normally would tell them that they're in trouble and need help."

        There is a scientific explanation and understanding what has happened to our brains and neural pathways is critical (IMHO) to overcoming addiction - or at least it is for me. Not saying I've got it licked, but knowledge is power!!

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          Newbies Nest

          Hi Unwasted,

          Thank you for your post!! Knowledge IS power. It seems that so much is being learned about addiction, even as we speak. Sounds silly, but just thinking about it makes me giddy. There is hope that someday, SOON, the cure to addiction will be available. As we all know, there has been (and often still is) a horrible stigma surrounding addiction. Those of us afflicted are considered to be selfish and weak-willed. We bring shame on ourselves and our families. And all because we have an illness... Many of us hesitate to mention it even to our healthcare providers for fear of being labeled.

          I compare an addict's experience to my mom's experience with cancer, and I see a profound contrast. (Obviously, Mom's illness is very much on my mind and colors all of my other thoughts.) When Mom discovered her lump, we did not hide in the bedroom closet in an attempt to keep it a secret. No!! We sought immediate help. And an entire medical team IS helping Mom. Also, family and friends are surrounding Mom with love and support.

          But the person with an addiction is usually blamed and shunned. And that person typically experiences a lot of self-hatred.

          So... for me, the HOPE that our collective ignorance will be replaced with accurate knowledge makes me want to laugh and cry all at once.

          Thanks again. ~
          Tess in The Nest ~ Sober since January 1, 2013

          The man pulling radishes
          pointed the way
          with a radish. ISSA

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            Newbies Nest

            Hubby and I are having a hard time with finding stuff to do. It appears that every where we went and just about everything we did centered around alcohol. WE are afraid to go to any of our old places for fear of giving in and ordering the "just one" We have earned we can't have just one. It seems terrible to have to think of giving up the things we used to enjoy when we drank wine.

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              Newbies Nest

              Daily Wine,

              it is a very common feeling in the beginning. You have spent years developing this habbit of drinking:

              with meals
              birthday parties
              clubs
              bars
              business functions....

              it will take some time to re-adjust. Eventually you will A) Find new stuff to do B) You will be comfortable to be around alcohol without feeling deprived.

              Trust me. Just give it more time.

              Allan
              AF since 1st Sep 2012
              NF since 1st Sep 2012

              If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

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                Newbies Nest

                Three and a half hours before 300 Days !!! Woo Hoo
                AF since 1st Sep 2012
                NF since 1st Sep 2012

                If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

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                  Newbies Nest

                  thanks Allan and congrats on your 300 days thats awesome!!
                  DW

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Daily wine;1524263 wrote: Hubby and I are having a hard time with finding stuff to do. It appears that every where we went and just about everything we did centered around alcohol. WE are afraid to go to any of our old places for fear of giving in and ordering the "just one" We have earned we can't have just one. It seems terrible to have to think of giving up the things we used to enjoy when we drank wine.
                    My thought is that you can buy a pint of your favorite high-calorie, sinfully delicious ice cream, crawl into bed, spoon feed each other, and then make mad passionate love. You WILL respect each other in the morning. And no hangover... :heart:
                    Tess in The Nest ~ Sober since January 1, 2013

                    The man pulling radishes
                    pointed the way
                    with a radish. ISSA

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Thanks Tess!! Hubby will love that!
                      DW

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                        Newbies Nest

                        that sounds so much more fabulous than AL.....
                        delicious ice cream with the one I love followed by a roll in bed!!!!!
                        Great idea
                        I just won't anymore

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Good afternoon, Nesters....been traveling today for work. A long, hot day!

                          Don't get me started on the subject of moderation. Remember, even on this site it is only done with those heavy duty drugs (loaded with side effects). Moderation on the drugs is questionable (IMHO) and impossible without them. The very idea of having a glass of wine or two to an addicted brain makes about as much sense as giving the Tasmanian Devil an energy drink. What happens after a glass or two of wine? You relax and your inhibitions are lowered, what happens next? You betcha....MORE!

                          Settling in to my hotel after a long day....AF, and loving it!!! Strap in!!! XXOO, Byrdie
                          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                          Tool Box
                          Newbie's Nest

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Tess-2;1524315 wrote: My thought is that you can buy a pint of your favorite high-calorie, sinfully delicious ice cream, crawl into bed, spoon feed each other, and then make mad passionate love. You WILL respect each other in the morning. And no hangover... :heart:
                            Tess, I read this and it has me smiling and giggling all day! And who says you need AL to have fun????? :H
                            On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

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                              Newbies Nest

                              LOVE reading all the positive posts here! You guys are a true inspiration!
                              On day 10 - finding clarity and realizing self-awareness. What an amazing feeling.
                              Have a great AF evening everyone!

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Hello everyone great WK no alcohol feel great. Been real busy but have been reading thank u all for giving me hope .

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