Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

So much is going on today. June I am envious of your posting ability. For me one drink of any kind of al just leads to more al. So none for me. I live around others who drink and it is very hard to say no, but this is shatters I have to do to be happy. I was miserable drinking and am so much better not drinking. Good luck everyone. Welcome db. Love the avitar.
:nutso:
that's me today.

[Dogwood Blossom]

Newbies Nest

Yes, LB. That is the only way I will happy again. I feel like I've been walking in a very dark place, full of forgetfulness, guilt, bad thoughts. I'm ready to walk in the light again! I did it before for several years....I can do it again! And like your avatar too!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Sparkles, you made it over! So happy to see you!
I was having a conversation with Ann Carolina the other day and she was telling me she was a binge drinker. I was actually jealous!! I guess if AL is ruining your life it doesn't matter if you do it every night or several times a week....it isn't normal to get obliterated! But you have made a positive change today by joining this site!!! It only takes a couple of AF days to make things better again! Dogwood, I'm so glad to see you back too. I look forward to you getting dusted off and back on track!! Your notes were ALWAYS so positive and encouraging.
Settle on in eva'body!!! You are not alone! We are all doing the same thing! If you get weak, just come here and write about it...you'll see how bad an idea it will be once you get it out!! Hugs all! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, DogBlossom

Do you know what derailed you last time?

If newest newbies could tell us some of your story, those of us with similar experiences might be able to offer specific suggestions. We have our addiction in common but the details differ - AL is clearly an equal-opportunity enslaver.

I was in the publicly fine, secretly addicted camp and HATED IT.

It is so great to free yourself from the thing that is making you miserable. The good news is that the tools you need and the people who can help you are RIGHT HERE.

Stay close and read and post - those actions truly change your brain and can ultimately lead you to being a person who no longer wants to drink.

Have a safe and AF weekend !

[witts end]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone
good for you sake on your 4 days
My husband is like yours he can have 2 or three and walk away .....dosn't understand why I cant ....I would have to finish the bottle .... when that wasn't enough I started drinking casks.......
I still don't know if he's noticed or not that I'm not drinking
It's going to be hard next week he will be away and I have to make sure I don't get tempted
It's just one day at a time......I'll cross next week when it gets here hopefully with the help of everyone here I'll succeed by posting everyday

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey NoSugar, I ran over to the Tool Box and nabbed Kuya's post on why posting helps!! Thanks for reminding me about it!

The Power of Posting and taking part in an online forum, from our wise and successful Kuya:

There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

You can find your own stat on your profile page.

Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.

[Dogwood Blossom]

Newbies Nest

I think I went about it half-hearted. While I was adding up days, 3, 5, 7, even 2 weeks, I was playing with the notion in my head of the next drunk. I think I was figuring that if I could control the drinking and maybe only pull a drunk once every couple of weeks, I could live with that. WRONG! That plan is never going to work and I have to stop playing. This is a life or death situation. I'm amazed today that I could drink as much as I did yesterday and still be alive! I do not want to stay on that path! I want sobriety and happiness!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

You will make it out when you know deep deep down that you cannot drink moderately and must never drink again. Do whatever it takes to get there and stay there. It is simple but it isn't easy. Use the time you used to spend drinking here - learn from all the stories of failed moderation. Become that person you want to be. YOU ARE WORTH IT AND YOU DESERVE IT.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Witts end....GREAT JOB on your 30 days.....please go claim your prize on the Roll Call!!! We are SO PROUD of you! XXOO, B

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Hubs thought I could use a little R & R before Mom has surgery and I become her "nurse" while she recovers. We're at the coast, spoon feeding ice cream... LOL...

I am so very happy to be free from the hell of alcohol. I used to think about the "stages" of alcohol for me: 1) Wanting it 2) Getting it 3) Drinking it 4) Regretting it. Each stage was rather complex because I attempted to keep it totally hidden. So, I would do serious mental battle during the "wanting it." Then, exhausted, I would move to the "getting it." This step sometimes required elaborate schemes of lying to hubs ("Need femenine hygiene products" or "Going to the library to study" and on and on and on). Next was "drinking it." If I could, I would hide in my closet. If that wasn't possible (say, hubs is reading the newspaper in our bedroom) I might pull into the parking lot at McDonalds or use some other ridiculous and dangerous tactic. Finally came the "regretting it" part, with wondering why I was such a messed-up girl, and all of the promises to self and God that I had just had my last drink... Such a tremendous waste of time, and energy, and life. So pitiful... Really sad!!

I think maybe this is the aspect of alcoholism that non-alcoholics do not realize or empathise with: the mental gymnastics of it all. The desire to "quit" colliding with the overwhelming need to drink.

I am thanking my very, very lucky stars that I made the escape. Thank you, Universe!! Was it easy? Nope. Do I sometimes still have cravings? Yup. But I can always come to Newbies Nest and find answers, support, and laughter. And it's okay to piss and moan too. I am still loved.

Fellow Nesters, you are loved. We are in this together.

Welcome to all Newcomers. I am so happy that you are here!! :welcome:

[Caz 22]

Newbies Nest

I feel really enthusiastic about my last Day 1, Thanks MWO peeps

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I feel good about it, too Caz! I remember my last Day 1 like it was yesterday, because if I lose sight of things, it could easily be tomorrow! I'm not gonna let that happen! Let's hang on!! B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Busy day around here, huh?

Hello & welcome Caz, Sparkles & welcome back Dogwood ~ sorry if I missed anyone.
Congrats to everyone for making the decision to take back control of their lives. You will never regret it, believe me!

We talk about making plans a lot so please be sure you take the time to go through the Tool box, sit down & write out your plans. Make sure you know your drinking triggers & decide ahead of time what you are going to do instead of drinking. We all have different stressors but we are all subject to being:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Get your bases covered, make a firm commitment & jump on the sober bus!

Have a safe night in the nest one & all.
Lav

[witts end]

Newbies Nest

Thanks lav will make another list so as not to slide back and make an on going list

[Sake123]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening! Wow...this is a busy forum. Good but hard to keep up. I'm glad to see there are so many people out here trying and succeeding at getting sober. Congrats to all of you. You give me serious hope for the future.

Last night was SO brutal! I didn't sleep at all had an exhausting day and was so tired but could not sleep for the life of me. Could not get comfortable and though I was so spent I was up until 6:30am!! Then spent today at a pool party and it was 89 degrees. In the pacific northwest that's really, really hot. Most of us are total whimps! I noticed that just about everyone of legal age had a drink! Beer or wine was flowing and all the sudden I felt like, am I the only person who "can't" drink!!??! Then I went through feeling sorry for myself, was already cranky from not getting sleep and the heat was almost unbearable. I had to remind myself that I CAN drink...I CHOOSE not too!!

Anyway - I'm sure it's all from lack of sleep. Tomorrow will be better. Today is day 5!