Newbies Nest

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Newbies Nest

3June2013;1527255 wrote: What good reason can you come up with for keeping AL around? !

Absolutely none! Thanks for the reminder 3June2013!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I've copied this post from an old member A Work in Progress. It's on the first page of the Tool box thread. This really helped me out when I first started out & need all the help I could get


What is a plan, and how do I get one???


I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.

SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):•Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
•Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
•Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
•Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
•A healthy diet, and regular meals
•Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
•Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
•Going to AA meetings
•Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

wip

We are all a little different in terms of 'needs' when making our plans. Just be sure to cover all of your drinking triggers ahead of time. Don't wait until you find yourself in a precarious position.
Practice saying 'No Thank You'! Repeat that, over & over until it becomes an automatic response & it will once you have paved new AF pathways in your brain

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

I bought a case of Pellegrino and some limes that will be my drink of choice for the long holiday weekend. Making a list of reasons to be AF
DW

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I bet it will be a LONG list, Daily Wine . Hope you feel like sharing it - :h NS

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

thanks NS where is your recipe link that used to be in your signature page.
DW

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Here it is: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...pes-73623.html

What are you making?

[witts end]

Newbies Nest

hello everyone still here and feeling great

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all!
Settled into my hotel after a long day of driving in the pouring rain. Glad to be inside now.
A couple thoughts about The Plan...
I think it's important to get your excuse ready in case you are out and No Thank You, doesn't seem like enough. I have Ulcerative Colitis, so I use that...I say that my UC is 1000 times better when I don't drink, so I don't. That works every time.
I also had a period of worrying about what if someone slipped me something or I got a drink by mistake. My plan includes spitting it back into the glass. I don't care who sees what...I'm NOT going to consume AL.
I made a promise to myself I would not buy AL
I wrote on my plan, NOT ONE, NOT EVER. No matter what and no matter who.
I put myself into the service of others....this prevented The Pity Party. Realizing that you don't have it so bad after all, takes the sting out of it. Feeling sorry for ourselves because we can't drink seems pretty lame when other people are stuck in nursing homes and never see another friendly face. Bake someone a cake or go visit an older neighbor. WRITE someone a note...on paper. This helped a lot! I always try to remember that my disease has a cure...many with diabetes, tumors or cancer can't say the same.
I PLAN for every occasion. I take my own drinks when I go to someone's house...
These are just some of my own personal rules to live by. I will not lose one more day of my life to AL! I also think that staying connected here is important. I'm sure it's possible to go out into the world at this point and stay sober...but I'm not willing to take that risk. Staying connected to likeminded people is key. The world out there is telling us it's ok...only WE know that it's not. I've seen so many leave only to fall sometime later. I take my queues from Lav. She stays here and stays sober...that's a winning combination.
Hope everyone has a great evening! The Butt Velcro is around here somewhere!! Byrdie

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Yes ByrdLady, being like minded is the key to being AF. Nothing can go wrong when everybody is determined to be AF. Be safe away from home.

-S-

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Dear Fellow Nesters,

You have me thinking about making a list of GOOD reasons to stay alcohol free. So hmm... :question2: let's see...

Having a working brain is really quite handy.

Buying groceries without a sideways glance from the cashier (due to A LOT of beer mixed in with the green beans and pasta) is a surprisingly happy experience.

Walking around without an enormous beer belly feels great.

Being honest with Hubs is so much more pleasant than lying, sneaking, and hiding.

I'm saving a bunch of money and using it for super-cool projects and other stuff.

It's nice that I remember to brush and floss before going to bed.

It's nice that I remember EVERYTHING before going to bed.

I have met awesome people in The Nest and in my neighborhood.

It feels good to laugh, to feel joy, to have a reason to get up in the morning.

It's sweet to know that I am not actively destroying my liver and other vital organs.

I am able to extend a helping hand without falling flat on my arse in the process.

My dogs are not spooked by my staggering.

I no longer worry about how terrible my mug shot would be.

Well, I could make a list into infinity. But I will spare you, LOL!!


And then there's the list of GOOD reasons to consume the poison that we call alcohol. Well... :what?: Hmm... I'm thinking...

Nope. Nothing. Can't come up with a thing. Zero. Not one useful idea.


Stay safe, Nesters. You are loved!! :thumbs:

p.s. You can always find extra butt Velcro in The Nest supply cabinet: new, never been used, and ready for you. Don't take the chance of falling out of The Nest. We need you!!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Desparate for support

Hello everyone, Back again have started ab again today. Really struggling.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

HADIT Glad you are back. I might not be much help, but I am here a few times a day - even though I don't write too much.

-S-

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

HADIT So, what's going on with you? Can you talk about it?

-S-

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

TESS-2, I'll take a length of that butt velcro. I almost broke mine off today - it is worn out.

-S-

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

hadit - we are with you. Did you run out of antabuse or intentionally discontinue it?

Last Straw - handing you a long length of butt Velcro. What's going on with you? Also, YES you are of much help. All Nesters look out for other Nesters. Every single one of us is essential and valued and loved much.