Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

NoraC, welcome back! Of course the nest is open for you, just find your old twig & settle in. Stay close, we'll help you stay on track

Welcome Urban! Find yourself a comfy twig & settle in the nest with us too!
Funny, my poison of choice was wine - you'll never hear me make a reference to rum!! Congrats on your 3 AF days, you have a great start!

Greetings Ms Sooty, hope you're staying warm!

Chook.........you have me concerned but I'm glad you're checking in with us! What can we do or say to get you clucking again? I will tell you one thing friend.....drinking doesn't make anything better. We both know that but you have to believe it! Dust off that Clearing CD & get yourself prepped - you know what you have to do. Do it for yourself & your girls.......they need their Mom in her best possible shape. You know we love you & want the best for you

The wind is absolutely howling here, something to do with the coastal storm.......chilly too!
I'm going to say good night but I'll leave the night lite on for Rejuve, Tranq & anyone else who drops in.

Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi All.

Right Nora - everyone here knows how hard it is. I've kind of stopped even trying to figure why we do this - or "why" I drink. 'Cause the whys really don't matter as much as what I choose to do now - what I did before is never as important as what I do next. Every time we make the choice not to drink, we exercise our freedom and make the future a little better.

Hope that didn't sound too corny. Three days is Great! Keep hanging on!

Chooks - hope you feel better. Hi Lav, Sooty, Rejuve's.

Good nite!
tw

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Newbies Nest

8 days AF...movin into the 2nd week...night all

Rejuve

[mel09]

Newbies Nest

Hi, I joined a few days ago. Am right now on my 26th day sober, feel quite calm and in control for this stage of it, I think that the Campral has helped this time. I've downloaded the pdf for Roberta Jewell's book and am currently reading it. Went to my local stores and they didn't have L-Glutamine (I live in a very small town) so am going to order some online tonight. I'm in Australia btw, just thought I'd say g'day to everyone.

[changemeforever]

Newbies Nest

My story.

So here goes! Thanks for reading this in advance!

I didnt drink untill I was in my early 20's! The reason for this was because I was determined not to be like my mother who both abused drugs and alcohol and also my step mother who was an alcoholic hiding bottles all over the house! I have never been that bad and have never hidden my drinking! Anyway back to the story......


It all begins with a soldier (my Dad) having a drunken one night stand with my mother resulting in me! My mother tracked my Dad down and landed up on my grandparents doorstep with the story that she was pregnant with me, she was taken in and so the story begins! However unbeknown to all at that time was that mother was married and had just abandoned 2 other kids ages 2 and 8 months at the time left them with a neighbour as she went to buy something at the local shop!
So I am born and 22 months later along comes my brother. Which is when Mother hit the bottle and was leaving us downstairs whilst she had her end away with the neighbours whilst Dad was at work. When I was 4 she left us and that was the first time I remember feeling lost and abandoned and then begins the next chapter of the story.

Us kids were left with the teenage neighbour whilst dad was at work and this is where the sexual abuse began. I was never raped but remember knowing that it was all wrong being touched, stroked, kissed, licked like that. He used to get my brother to do it to me too and to get me to touch him. I can still remember the smell of him and it still turns my stomach.

When I was 8 Dad met my step mother and we moved to a remote village to begin as a happy family. My step mother came with 3 boys of her own and at first things were great. But when the baby was born it all fell apart as she hit the bottle in a big wasy and was both emotionaly and physically abusive and violent. The sexual abuse had stopped but we were then bounced into another situation that non of us kids had any control over. When it hit rock bottom she was sectioned and 3 of the boys were taken into care leaving me at 10yrs old at home looking after the 2 younger boys. she was in hospital for a few weeks and then came out again and the circle began once again. The older boys never came home and I didnt get to see any of them for the next 20 yrs! My grandmother came to stay with us for a few days and that was when i was saved and taken to live with her. The 2 younger boys were then adopted and again it was 20 yrs before I got to see them again.

So when did the drinking begin? I guess it was when I went to uni and was experimenting sexually that i needed a drink to take the edge off and make me feel warm and fuzzy and give me confidence to have sex. I then fell into the trap of thinking that if a guy was having sex with me he must love me?? How nieve was I?? I then began the pattern of self loathing at getting pissed and sleeping around until I fell pregnant with my daughter. She saved me at that point! I left uni got a flat and began life as a single mum.

When my daughter was 7 months old I met my husband. We enjoyed good food and wine and soon my son came along. I had a meltdown at this point as all my supressed memories came flooding back. This is when the drinking I guess became more of a regular thing rather than a social thing. Even now I need a drink before i can have sex so the future is going to be a challenge!

Life went on! 2 yrs ago my grandmother died and I have never felt such pain or loss. My saviour had gone and even with my husband and children being here i have never felt such loss. This is when a bottle of wine almost every night became the norm!
I found my brother and step brothers later that yr and all are heavy drinkers. My biological brother and i never really bonded I guess I had too many barriers still up from our childhood and he was in prison. I was going to meet him this yr but he died in a road accident after coming out of the pub and was texting on his phone.

Yesterday I had my first real AF day and it felt fantastic. Im going to contoll my life now and not let events of the past make me drink. Im 35 and have a long life ahead of me. I need to make this change!! Hence the name! xxx

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Waking up to still stormy skies here but it is Friday so I'll make the most of it!

Greetings to Tranq - not exactly golf weather, huh?

Rejuve, congrats on your 8 days, feels good doesn't it?

mel, wow, 26 AF days! You're almost at a month - do you feel great or what? Good for you! Do you plan to stay AF after 30 days or are you going to try your hand at moderating? I made the decision to stay AF when I hit 30 days - it was the right decision for me, no regrets

changemeforever, thank you for sharing your story with us. You certainly are one strong woman for surviving such adversity! I'm so glad that you found MWO & have joined us in the nest. I hope that we can make you comfortable & assist you on your journey. You have made a wonderful decision for yourself & your family. By going AF you will become an even stronger & healthier woman & you will be taking complete control of your future. You should be very proud for doing this, we are proud of you as well Please visit the Nest often, keep posting & let us know how you are doing - you are among friends now!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday, be well!
Lav

[mighty mouse]

Newbies Nest

CMF, Hi annd congrats on day 1! know it will be hard. With all the pain. iI'm happy you found this at 35! Your grandma is leading the way. I have had some of the same experiances. And sex and AL is very common for alot of women. expecially when it is confused with the abuse. no one should have ruined your sexuality before you were ready to give it in an adult and safe place. maybe your husband can give you some space for a while? I have some words to a song that i like to listen to.

I had it tough when I was just a little kid it didn't matter what I thought it didn't matter what I did. I felt the doubt for what I lacked right from the start. It did a number on head but it could never touch my heart!
Cause I had just enough imagination, just enough to keep the faith, somehow I would think of what to do.
When I'd get lost in a momentary weakness of emotion all the ANGELS came around to help me through.....
Life goes fast changes...wind blows past pages....All I see is I DON"T NEED THIS....
high strung tight rope walk...ticking time bomb clock...scratch my name off...cut these chains...I'M FREE....kicking out of that prison I'am free....singing those words of wisdom..
let it be...nobody going to put the blues inside of me....

hang in there and keep postiing and reading. We are here to help each other. no judgement no guilt...You are loved,

MM

[mel09]

Newbies Nest

Changemeforever, yes, the statistics for sexual abuse are quite high for women in alcohol addiction recovery. I've seen figures like 40-50% according to some studies. I didn't encounter it, I've got other forms of post trauma. The counselor I work with tries to help me with techniques to feel more safe in the present.

Lavande;756140 wrote: mel, wow, 26 AF days! You're almost at a month - do you feel great or what? Good for you! Do you plan to stay AF after 30 days or are you going to try your hand at moderating? I made the decision to stay AF when I hit 30 days - it was the right decision for me, no regrets

Thanks. I think I will stay AF after 30 days. Mentally, I just feel like I'm beginning to get some of my balance back, and get my head clear (I have mild bipolar issues), so will continue with this.

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Newbies Nest

Headed into the weekend...9 days AF...going strong.
Has started Snowing big flakes...we've got a winter storm watch thru Sunday & it's gotten COLD!

Rejuve

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!

7:30 pm & I'm still in my shop working - but that's OK! I can still check in

MM, thanks for posting the song lyrics - they could mean a lot to most of us!

Mel, your choice to stay AF is probably the best one for you - it sure was for me! I'm happier now than I have been in a very long time.

Rejuve, enjoy your snowfall

CMF, hope you are well, stick with us, OK?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. The night light will be on Tranq

Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone.

CMF, MM, Mel Welcome!

I loved what Mighty said: "We are here to help each other. no judgement no guilt...You are loved,". Sums it all up...

I think many of the folks here who've found this oasis have been kicked around by life more than a little bit. Some of us turned to al to escape, survive or cope with the sucky side of things. CMF it is great that you're doing something about drinking and that you're honest with yourself and realizing where you're coming from. It is a great first step you've taken to taking back your life. Like the Mouse said - "cut these chains and I'm free". With al we're trapped - without it we can choose how to live.

There's been some real progress here. Mel - wow! Rejuve's way to go!

Take care all.
tw

[AnyaPrincess]

Newbies Nest

RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit;755823 wrote: 8 days AF...movin into the 2nd week...night all

Rejuve

I'm so proud of you, Rejuve!

[AnyaPrincess]

Newbies Nest

Here's my little update:

I got a script for Topamax (25mg), read the book, took the L-Creatinine and L-Glutamine and had one day AF. Then it was our anniversary so I had two drinks out for dinner and another ten at home later on after my hubs went to bed.

Yesterday and today I've continue to take the supplements and my Topamax, and I've had two days AF.

I'm afraid to ask this... but is it possible that that little bit of Topamax and the supplements that I'm taking is really helping? I don't even have the CDs yet or the supps from this site. I'm wondering if this is too good to be true, or if I'm jumping the gun or what is happening?!

inkele:

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Hi Folks!

This is one almighty bad flu!!!! I am like death right now, haven't been this bad in some time! Today is Day 2 AF..I will get to 3,4,5........etc! If nothing else I will use the fact that I am feeling so awful to stop me craving the posion.

To all the Newbies..hi and welcome!
To all the others...thanks for being around!
Lav-I'm okay,just got to get myself well!
Chook:h

[mel09]

Newbies Nest

*Edit - sorry.*