Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Saturday morning Nesters

Slept like a rock last night after a full day of chasing grandkids yesterday
Another full day ahead for me!

Glad to see so many sticking close to the nest, it really helps.
Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[Amica]

Newbies Nest

I'm in a nowhere spot, dark dogs as Peter Finch called them. When it's like this at least with a drink I know I am in a spot, the alcohol buzz spot. Yet I am sure that even 2 or 3 days would take me to a new place. I can easily go without alcohol, have been on retreats with just greens and fruit for a week and no cravings. But as as soon as I get back home, the habit kicks in. I feel like I am forcing myself to drink. Sounds dumb? After work, all I want to do is get home and pour a nice fresh glass of white nothingness. I get less and less done, I stall on every minor decision. The other problems will solve themselves if I can stop.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Amica, hi there, you have come to the right place for help. I am no expert, but I think you need to want to quit more than you want to drink. If after work is the issue could you change up your routine? Go somewhere else and talk yourself out of it? Seems like you said your home is the trigger, are you alone at home? As for forcing ourself that's something I would do too. My mind would say I've had enough and my mouth was ordering another glass. Please keep posting we all want to help!

NS you are totally not a bore. I really appreciate your investigative mind and your sharing your findings with us!

Hi there nursie sounds like your church group is just the ticket. We need to be accountable.

broken halo no such thing as too much posting. It got me through my first weeks. I think it's an important part of staying AF for me! Your day two sounds busy that's a good move, and a haircut will make you feel great!

Steady you are right, learning that others have gone through or are going through the same experiences helps so much to put our lives in perspective. Glad you're getting so much out of MWO, I sure am too!

Lav I hope you're having another sunny day! We are in the sun again here and it sure brightens everyone's moods.

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

I am back and on day one again. I cannot do this anymore. I almost succeeded yesterday, but I had some wine leftover. I even drove to an AA meeting in the afternoon, but didn't go in. I still have some leftover, but I'm pouring it out and joining BH with only tea today. I have some really disturbing things happening in my life right now and the wine makes it all go away, but when I open my eyes in the morning I start the day with fear and anxiety. The anxiety is the worst. And the depression is gut wrenching. I feel left behind, I have no friends. I can't tell my kids, they will be horrified. I have a daughter living with me and did stop drinking a couple weeks ago. But then I look forward to when she will move out again, which is inevitable, I have the worst fear of my empty, sad life.

FWIW, I've tried drs, pcp and psy, and I more meds that a pharmacy, but like BH I hate taking pills. I have bad side effects although I don't think I ever really gave them a chance sober. Yet I'll pour wine down my throat like no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. And my kids and I deserve better.

I am going to be posting a lot and if anyone wants to pm me I sure could use the support. I have awful guilt about some things that are too personal to share in an open forum, but I really feel like I need to talk about things.

Normally, I'd delete this post because I feel like I am sharing too much but I am that desperate and if i can drive to an AA meeting and can't walk in, I need help.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

piper this is the place to be. Weekends can be a little quieter (I'm hitting the road myself in a minute) so be patient, but people will drop in and I am sure by reading the threads you will get some info there too. We all have demons and shame. The first step is getting AL out of our lives, then we can look at the rest. You're on track, throwing out the wine, is your house empty of AL after that?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Piper

When I joined MWO, I decided to for once in my life not to pretend that I was large and in charge with no problems. I posted some things that afterwards I felt embarrassed about ( it is good that I didn't know how to delete posts because I probably would have done so!) and really bared my soul in some PMs to a couple people I admired and hoped could help me.

In some ways, I still can't believe I did that after more than 50 years of trying to appear perfect and never acknowledge self-doubt or pain. Dropping all that here has enabled me to make progress in my daily life and most importantly of all, to accept being imperfect, to start forgiving myself for becoming addicted, and to stop drinking.

I would encourage you to put yourself out there. Read, post, and stay close. I think this is a fairly un-shockable group but if you don't want to post here, just write to someone. The act of typing your thoughts for someone to read (more than journaling for yourself) might help you as much as it did me. I hope so.

:h NS

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning! I am here!
I'm going to get my nails done today and getting ready to move. The home that we have been renting for Two years has been sold, so we are looking for a new home. Stressful but change can be good.
Stepdaughter issues are huge right now, when do they grow out of this nasty attitude phase? Ugh
Have a great day everyone!

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Piper, I really identified with your post. I have had guilt issues too for about a year now. Feel free to pm me if you need to chat

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

I read here a lot but post on the abs thread.

NoSugar....I really appreciate the science behind it. I have always heard how the brain repairs itself.....and never understood why it was different with al. When you likened it to riding a bike....the lightbulb went off.

That little voice got shut down! No matter what it tells me today.....5 years from now.....your post is locked in.

I recently got on my bike after years of not riding it. Rode it like I had been on it yesterday. So the correlation is strong. And that little voice in my head may live there forever.....be he has lost this war.....after many bloody battles.

Thank you NS.....you helped me tremendously with your research.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters!!!
NoSugar, you should put that post in the Tool Box!!! That brings the point on home with all of us!
Amica, BH, Piper, TheSunFlower!!! Great to see you all!
We are a little slow this weekend, but as you know, the site is full of information and if you have some time, it's worth diving into. I imagine the nest will be full on Monday...we usually get an influx after a big holiday weekend. I know that many people put off the decision to get sober until _____. But there is always going to be something to get in the way of a smooth path...it's just LIFE! The best time to quit is right now! It's not going to get any easier tomorrow, because tomorrow seems to never come. Getting sober is the best gift I ever gave myself!
Hang strong everyone! Byrdie

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon everyone,

Just a quick check in, off to a cookout with my in laws. A sober one for me.

Keep strong and welcome to all newbies.
JDG

[witts end]

Newbies Nest

Have a good cook out ..... love cook outs
morning here .... let the day begin busy one for me ....and I have to fit in going out this morning .... Oh well thats life

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

TheSunFlower;1529080 wrote: ... have always heard how the brain repairs itself.....and never understood why it was different with al. When you likened it to riding a bike....the lightbulb went off.

I recently got on my bike after years of not riding it. Rode it like I had been on it yesterday. So the correlation is strong. And that little voice in my head may live there forever.....be he has lost this war.....after many bloody battles. .

I'm glad that image helps, Sunflower! The one that I'm going to make myself remember each time the thought of drinking crosses my mind is how very easily I got up on water skis when I did it recently for the first time in over 40 years! And since it was a large group and each person could ski only until they fell, I skied for ~20 minutes even though my out-of-shape arms really started to hurt. I think the first drink would go down pretty easily (aside from the guilt!) and I suspect I would keep it up as long as I could in spite of any negative consequences. It was hard to learn to ski and it took awhile before I came to like to drink but it is pretty clear those 'skills' are now set so ... No messing around with AL but I hope to get another chance to water ski !

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Brydie....that really should be put in the toolbox. It honestly is the first time I understood it.

When I was in AA....they always said they had a huge amount of anniversary's in Feb...because all the people who made New Year's resolutions by Feb they realized they needed help to quit.

I always used those excuses too. Now looking back it was so awful to be hungover on my birthday, not really remembering the fireworks.....and being hungover Christmas morning when the kids are opening their presents. When you are drinking or hungover you are not really there.

I enjoyed my birthday and the holiday so much more being sober.

NS....your post really was a turning point in my recovery. Even though I am committed to being sober....some days are harder than others....and that helped seal the deal. I know it will be key in my weak moments. Knowing that those pathways are there forever. I need to look back and see what it is that you watched and check it out.

Whenever I returned to drinking after a period of AF....I actually had to choke the first two down. Tasted awful. It took two to numb myself enough to continue on. I was always after the effect. Didn't take long before I thought I actually liked the taste of beer.....thank you brain pathways

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Had a busy family day with a BBQ, kids, grandkids, the whole nine yards

Hello & welcome Amica! Glad you found us, please make yourself comfortable.
Sounds like you are stuck in a repetitive rut, I think I was pretty much the same. But with a firm commitment & a good plan - you can change all that, I did
Download a copy of the MWO book from the Health store here & visit the tool box which is ful of great ideas to help you make your plan.

piper, welcome back! I'm sorry you are still struggling. Strap yourself in the nest & hold on tight. We'll all do what we can to help you!

Greetings to everyone & wishes for a safe night in the Nest!
Lav