Newbies Nest

[Readinglady]

Newbies Nest

SoberSoul;1530661 wrote: Decided to post here and to introduce myself briefly. Right now, I am reading as much as I can and have come to the conclusion that I cannot control my alcohol intake. In order for me to live the rest of my life happily, my drinking has to stop. I have cut down a lot in the past year or so but still every now and then, get hammered with no previous intention; it just happens.

I have only had success stopping for one month and that was in the Spring. I am ready to give up the pleasure/pain of alcohol forever and I need encouragement and help. I hope I can give back as much as I get but I feel like I am reborn today with this final decision.

I look forward to getting to know you all.

good luck to you on the journey to be Al free! This website is a gift and inspiration to us all as we fight such an insidious evil disease. We help each other daily here because we all know what we face and we all need to know we are not alone in our struggle. Together we can beat down the grip of alcohol... We can and we do by educating ourselves,communicating here, and making the next right decision one moment at a time...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

3June, not OUR Fin, on the tv show "Glee". Our Fin is doing great, thank goodness. It is a grim reminder of AL and other drugs can do. What a shame.

Welcome ReadingLady! This site has been a blessing for ALL of us! I'm so glad you're here!

Remember, for us as ALK's, ONE drink is too many....just say NO, HELL NO, AL will not take one more day of MY life! The more distance you can put between you and this beast the better!! Stay the course! Byrdie

[MikeInMass]

Newbies Nest

Sad to hear about that Glee star , he was young. I have been watching videos on youtube about alcoholism. So many much younger than me that drank less and died. Even after watching that still makes me want to have a drink. Trying to get out and do something. still feel out of it. At 41 years old I thought I would be stronger. I am like a broken record. thinking about all the dumb things I did, my divorce and that gets me down and then the cravings. Think maybe need to go see a doctor get on some anti depressants or something they can give me, Need to get back to work and start my new sober free life. Tired of AL.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,
Auction/estate sale is tomorrow...Hard to see that all the things I grew up with will be sold but I just don't know what else to do...I will go there to let them in and to deliver dads car so it can be sold too..then dh and I are taking off...I just can NOT stay there....they understand...I will return and hopefully it will all be sold so I don't have to look for other ways to sell.
Say a few prayers for me and the shoppers that they just want to spend and spend...;-))
Dottie

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Dottie I hope the sale is a tremendous success. Glad to see you. :l How are the pups?
Hope you have a great af evening Mike. Give yourself a reward for making it through the weekend. Your favorite dinner or a nice movie. :goodjob:
Tess I'm thinking about you.

[MikeInMass]

Newbies Nest

Thanks . I am trying. living by myself makes these cravings even worse. Going to call doctor get me on some meds. just unhappy and alcohol always cured that. gotta get through this though.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mike, great job getting thru today! Don't even get me started on antidepressants! That stuff (Cymbalta) nearly killed me....please don't go on one until you give being AF a chance. Getting sober is the single BEST thing you can do to feel better mentally and physically!!! You will be learning to work thru all this grief....the grief from what AL took and the loss of AL itself. It is normal to have regrets...but trust me when I tell you that you will be able to work thru it and move on to a better place. You are doing something to move forward and you are 8 days now away from this beast. You have to feel better than you did on Day 1...you are making progress, I'm sorry it seems slow but in the scheme of things, our bodies bounce back pretty quickly! I abused mine for 25 years so 2 weeks of feeling flu-like was a small price to pay when you think about it. Hang tough....this time you WILL SUCCEED! We believe in you! Have a safe night in the nest! Byrdie

[MikeInMass]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrd. That's not good to hear about Cymbalta. The thing is a while back I went to my regular doc and that exactly what he wanted to put me on. What happened to you if I may ask? Your right I should give it a few more days before I ask then. My doc told me that was a mild anti depressant, though I never did get my prescription since people were telling me those type of drugs may make someone people even worse. Trying very hard to control the cravings.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mike, I went on Cymbalta just after hurricane Katrina. For some reason, I just could NOT get the image of those poor people out of my head. That loop of images just played over and over in my head for weeks. I asked my doctor for something, after all, everyone else was taking something! I took it for 5 years....of course, the whole time my drinking was escalating. My blood pressure had crept up, I was on 3 BP meds. Finally around mid 2010, my blood and liver readings became off. Way off. I had exceptionally high levels of iron in my blood....the equivalent of heavy metal poisoning. When your liver gets out of whack, everything else goes too. I had to go get blood taken out so I would produce new blood without so much iron. In an effort to try and give my liver a break, I stopped taking Cymbalta Nov 17, 2010 cold turkey. About a week later, I was sitting in my office after lunch and my heart began to race and I wasn't able to get my blood pressure...I ended up in the ER for drug withdrawals! They gave me some Ativan to get me thru the next 3 days and the next 4 weeks were pure hell. I couldn't concentrate was devising a way to end it all. I told my sister what I was thinking. In desperation, she looked on WebMD and found Cymbalta withdrawals....sure enough, suicide and all the other symptoms I had were listed. There were 100's of people on that site MAD AS HELL that they were experience these awful withdrawals, even when they tapered off them! Once I realized what I was going thru, it helped, but still took everything I had to get thru the emotional crap. I was so upset about it I tried calling the Dr Phil show and Dateline NBC to see if they could warn people about stopping these powerful drugs. Nothing ever came of that. After I was off Cymbalta for a while, 6-8 weeks or so, it was as if my world went from black and white to color! While on that drug (and drinking like I was) the lows weren't as low, but the highs weren't as high either....I was a zombie. One at a time I came off the BP meds!!! AND MY EYESIGHT IMPROVED! I had an eye exam right before I stopped taking it, and got new glasses and 6 months later I couldn't see out them...my eyes had improved 5 ticks! The January after that, I quit drinking....3 months later all of my blood and liver readings were normal. It I could title this period of my life, I'd call it "Numb and Numb-er". I don't know how I was functioning....I kept telling myself I was a high functioning ALK, but I don't think there's any such thing. The truth is that my tolerance was incredibly high....I wasn't having hangovers. There is a good bit of documentation on the premise that AD (anti depressants) actually facilitate heavier drinking! I believe it. It seemed to take more and more to get me where I needed to be...I'm sure that's a result of tolerance but I think it's the numbing effect of Cymbalta, too. That's just my take. It'll be a cold day in hell before I take one again. I know they do some people a lot of good, but I wasn't one of them.
I bet you are sorry you asked!!! I didn't mean to write a book, but that's how it happened!

[MikeInMass]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for sharing that. Its Ok for the long writing. I needed it. May just have to ask for something else then. I sure need to do more research. Hopefully This stopping alcohol like you said will make things better. My triglycerides were very high and my bp due to my drinking. Always had that red bloated face. Never had bp problems before I started drinking heavily. looking forward to that . the readings are already going down. thanks everyone for their support. Insomnia is what I am dealing with now. Nobody said it would be easy going through withdrawls though...

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Mike this last time getting sober was tougher physically than in the past. It was about 3 weeks before I felt myself again. I could barely make through the work day....came home exhausted and just watched stupid TV. I think my body had aged (I am 42) and it took longer for it to recover. Also, I think mentally something had shifted and my mind knew this was it. And fighting urges and cravings takes a toll emotionally and that will drain you like nobody's business.

Brydie I am in TN....no sun this am....but thanks for sending it over in the afternoon. We are getting more rain than normal and the humidity was awful. I doubt that you offend anyone. I think many really do want to quit. We know how baffling this thing is. We can barely make sense of it ourselves. But, we know that the only way to quit is to get through those initial weeks....which can suck. I know I ran on the hampster wheel. Wanting to quit to only give in because it was so physically and emotionally uncomfortable those first weeks. Or thinking i was missing out on something. I also gave into the "only on Saturday".. We know were that went:H

And I've got the stories that would horrify a normal person.....but, only an alkie can see the humor in it. At the time it was horrifying for me as well...now it seems so absurd I can laugh at it.

I give credit to those who get sober and then want to become addiction counselors. For me knowing this thing as intimately as I do.....I can't think of a more frustrating job in the world.

Lav you made me laugh about Amish. The town I lived in only has one state store. We lived on the NY state line....but, it was a haul to get to anything that sold booze. With all that said....where there is a will there is a way. It seemed to be a breeding ground for alcoholics.

[MikeInMass]

Newbies Nest

Sunflower I do believe that's what it is. I am 41, Never had withdrawls like this before. Just keep reminding me about what these withdrawls are doing to me when I get the urges. Those are the worst. Just knowing that the liquor store is opened on Sundays here and it would cure this. Did that too many times before. Just glad I found this site with all the support!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Little beagle the doggies are good....I know Annie misses Chuck but she now has the new puppy to contend with..they are playing and running around the back yard...older dog Emmy Sue joins in sometimes....Penny (new puppy) is doing well too....such a cutie and she passed puppy training with flying colors...woohoo for the puppy.
Dottie

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Mike in the past I would feel glorious by day 4. But, feeling so good was a trigger for me....why not make this feeling even better. I am thankful that this time around it was extra shitty for me.....it really helps to not want to go through that again. Drinking al at this point would only extend your pain. Of worse....you'd be back on the merry-go-round of hell.

I would go see your doctor only if you can be honest about everything. If he prescribes something....research it in-depth before taking it. Ask here....I doubt he could prescribe anything that hasn't been taken here. I did take an anti-anxiety med to help me. But, you have to be really careful with those....you could end up with a worse addiction than al.

Zoloft I took while I was drinking. While on it....I could drink until the sun came up. During a stint of abstinence I tried to get off of it and it was pure hell. I finally did manage to get off of it.....took about 3 weeks....and like Brydie I started seeing colors again. I spent several days...just amazed at how green trees were.

But, like she said they can be a lifesaver for some. But, I would not take something like that unless you are truly diagnosed with depression. And definitely more ab time. What you are feeling is normal.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Mike, keep hanging in there - you are doing great & over the worst part!
I felt like I had a case of the flu for two weeks or so like Byrdie mentioned. And I want to tell you - none of us slept either :H
I used the MWO hypno CDs to learn to relax without AL on board & eventually (along with the help of some OTC herbals) learned to sleep again

SF, I have to laugh at the Amish - they are not what you see portrayed on TV. They are undoubtedly hard workers but none of them seem especially happy. A lot of them are farmers, I buy lots of their produce. They make some decent furniture too

Hello to everyone & wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav