Newbies Nest

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Well, sweet Byrdie, I offer up balm for your saddle sores: anties:. Okay, agreed, this is not balm; rather a pretty pair of panties. Life comes down to this, Yes? Clean underwear. "Always wear clean underwear," Mom advised, "In case you need to go to the hospital."

Lav, my dear first Mum in sobriety, Hospice has been contacted. I feel my mother's hand in the tiny center of my palm. And she is not alone.

Overitt, my sweet Nester friend. I am losing my mother. So happy to hear from you. I believe I became sober for this. For Love. For a pain that is trying to kill me. A pain that has transfixed me into an adult in one heartbeat. Life must go on.

Sounds silly, and please bear with me my Fellow Fledglings, but I worry about my little tree that I planted in our backyard. Hubs does not give it enough water. I don't think he does. He's quite scrupulous, no that's not the word, he's... what is the damn word?.. can't think of it... can't think of much... umm, it has to do with not wanting to spend a lot of money. But my little tree needs water.

Still... if my precious little tree dies I can go to the Nursery and buy another. Though I love THIS little tree very much. I cannot go to the Nursery and buy another Mama. Only one Mama. Only one.

I am tired. So tired.

Yet very much loving life. We are here for a short while. We are given this gift of life.

Goodnight. ~

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Hello Tess
I am so sorry to read of your mother. I know she is grateful that you are there for her.

Samstone

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Good night nesters!

Tess you sound so strong, it's so hard watching our parents age. I hope your friends and family are there beside you. Your mum must be very thankful for your support now too.

Well I had my first drinking dream last night but I couldn't really remember the details when I woke up. It was anxiety producing though, I remember that I wasn't happy about it and that my subconscious kept thinking I'll just have to quit when I wake up. Strange. I think it was a combination dream stemming from reading your dream posts Allankay and yours Byrdie about someone slipping you a drink. I was happy to wake up and realize I was still AF.

I'm reading The Heart of Addiction. Very interesting ideas about why we drink (drank). I know I found my escape at 13 when a bunch of shitty things happened to me. It was a survival tool. Then a crutch. Now I'm old enough to handle things differently. A walk, a run, a bike ride, a cup of tea, a phone call to my BFF, a swim, a manicure, a massage, a lie in the sun, a good book, a shampoo and blow dry at the hairdresser, a new shirt, a putter in the garden. The list is long of ways to get over stress, to distract the cravings, to rest, to energize, to relax, to celebrate. There are so many better choices for me now. AL had its place in my life once. But not any more.

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Greetings, Nesters,

So good to read all the positive posts herein; even those doing it tough are sharing their inspiration.

Woke up this morning to Day 80 AF and thought, "Wow, around the world in eighty days!" While i've not travelled that far in a literal sense, i do feel that i've been on a significant journey.

What strikes me is how clear it is now that there is no room for negotiation with al. Not one bit. I've battled for years to get my drinking under control, but always ended back where i started. :upset:

I'm really excited about the future now, especially given there will be no angsting over events i cant remember, no days wasted, no regrets, etc. There will be good days and bad days, but i will be capable of making the best of them all!

best wishes to all in the Nest,
love, Steady
:h

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone. My story is probably much the same as many others who come by this site: broken promises, broken relationships, broken families, broken wallets, broken credit deals. I came by this site a few years back and I managed to do just over a month AF. People were saying to me how well I looked and how happy I was and do you know what? Of course you do! I just went straight out to the bars to show and tell all my "friends" how great I was. Of course, all my family were disgusted with me that I had let them down and that compounded the fact I already felt so badly about letting them and myself down that I drank out of remorse and self-pity. I have had a few short periods of temporary abstinence since then but I need to stay clean and sober forever. I am fed up going to bed pissed and then waking up pissed off. I have tried AA but it wasn't really for me: I tried a number of groups but found that most people were (understandably) wrapped up in themselves and that some were actually downright hostile to me and my problems telling me that because I hold down (at times just) a good job and have a nice house (which I have almost lost on numerous occasions). I have been to the doctor and he has given me some Librium to take the edge of things for me and he is going to advise me on getting my health and fitness back on track. I know it will be a long journey and I will have to be careful but, hopefully, today is the start of a whole new better way of living. I am trying not to think of this as giving something up but rather gaining lots of new, good stuff in my life - health, wellbeing, respect and, above all, happiness. Got day one under my belt yesterday and ready to take on day two today. I hope everyone has a great morning/day/evening/night wherever you are.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hello & welcome Neddy, glad you decided to join us
Wishing you a great AF day 2!

Heat wave continues here in my portion of the nest
The plan is to stay inside as much as possible - grateful for the AC!

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!
Lav

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Oh Tess I'm so sorry to hear of this difficult time. I believe you became sober for this too, so you could be fully present and healthy for her. I hope your little tree is ok, they don't need as much water as you think... Maybe some mulch around it and water once a week. What kind of tree is it? I want to plant a tree for my brother when I move into my new house. Oh, and you're moving? How is that going?
Stay well sweet Tess, and remember we are right here.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Lav, holy heat wave is right! I'm melting! I can't even pencil my eyebrows or they slide off my face!
My air conditioner can't keep up, and it's medieval torture to have to pack in this heat.
How are the chickens holding up? My dad's chickens haven't laid any eggs this week.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

I'm loving the heat. Winters are too long here, I cherish the sweat LOL. I'm heading out for a 25 km bike ride. I had a meet up planned and my riding buddy bailed but I am going to go without her. Before I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep or been the one to bail. Thanks to not drinking I know exactly how I will feel in the morning and can plan to be up and at em before the heat of the day!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

I've been thinking through the night that I am no longer going to write about my mother and her illness. That's not what The Nest is for, at least that's not what I want to use it for. The Nest, for me, is about maintaining sobriety and helping my fellow fledglings to do the same. THANKS to all of you for your support as I discovered and am now dealing with Mom's advanced cancer. I will inform you when she passes from this life. But until then, I won't be writing about her.

I think there is some confusion that I am moving. I'm not moving. I'm staying at my parents' home much of time right now. So in a way it feels as if I've moved. But I still have my little home with Hubs, which I love. (I love my home AND Hubs... LOL) Someone suggested that I put mulch around my baby tree in the back yard. I will do that today.

I really hope that my brain begins to function normally again -- soon. Emotional trauma is like a kick in the head. It has left me spinning. I simply cannot think very clearly.

Make this a great AF day. Just focus on taking good care of yourself for this day. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Morning all
another hot one on the horizon. Well I did a major boo boo and forgot to close my guineas up last night. Wiley Fox made a 1 am raid. Feathers everywhere, 2 0f them gone and one hurt. Got a shot at him but not sure I got him. Bout to go look. That memory lapse was like crap I used to do all the time when drinking. Now what's my excuse... ?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Tess

I know you don't leave the Nest much (I don't know if you even saw your 6-month congratulations thread !) but if writing helps you, and I suspect reading your heartfelt eloquent words is helpful to people in similar situations, perhaps you could start your own thread about your mom if you prefer not to post here.

She is so fortunate to have such a loving, supportive, sober daughter at her side. I am sorry you are facing this very hard loss but am happy for both of you that you are truly present.

Love, NS

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Welcome neddy good to have you here. You're in the right place. You won't be judged and you won't be berated. At least I've never seen it happen here. I find everyone to be extremely supportive. I think most of us who quit started out by trying to moderate. We can't. So it's safest to just get some distance and then decide you don't need it. I think your attitude will get you through this. We're not giving something up, we're gaining a new life. Here's to day two and many more!

Samstone you sound like you're living in the wild west! Sorry to hear about your guinea pigs!

Tess, you are in all of our hearts.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Thanks to everyone who has offered me kind words and encouragement in the last 24 hours. It really is spirit lifting to know that other people who have the same issues are concerned and supportive.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon, nesters!
Welcome Neddy! I'm so glad you are joining us....yes, every single one of us can identify with what you are thinking/feeling right now. As you know, Day 2 is usually a good bit easier than Day 1! By tomorrow this time, all the AL will be out of your system and you will be operating under full Neddy Power! Be sure to keep yourself full...that's the best advice I can give second only to stay hydrated! The Tool Box will keep you reading for a month if you follow all the links and such! But it's chocked full of all sorts of great information to help you thru the first challenging days. Like you, I was just sick to death of the whole cycle....what a relief to get off that BAD RIDE! Welcome to the other side!!!

Tess....we are all friends here....talk all you want to. This is a traumatic time and friends are good medicine. I know what's going on is mentally and physically exhausting....try and rest all you can. We are thinking of you....

Samstone, sorry about your chickens....I don't know what your new excuse is for forgetting to shut the gate, but you best come up with one because crazy things still happen even when we get sober!! I sat in my car yesterday with a GPS and COULD NOT find this office building!! I was in the middle of a cow pasture!! Some old lady was out hanging clothes on a line...I thought I was in a Stephen King movie!! I still don't know how I got that so screwed up (it might be CRS Disease...Can't Remember Shit) so watch for the warning signs....I forget what they are :H:H:H

Lav, you should just move immediately. You go between 2 extremes! Wet and Scalding! You poor thing...you and the girls need a more temperate climate.....

By the way, bcp PM'd me, she is doing great....just busy! So not to worry about her! Hope everyone else has a wonderful Hump Day!! XXOO, Byrdie