Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. Thanks for the extra support. I'm going through something with hubby. I am feeling powerless. But I must remember that I must accept my limitations.
Sam I grew up on a dairy so I know that working cattle in the summer is hot work!
Piper you are hitting your stride it sounds like. Keep up the good work!
Neddy you are going to go the distance with that attitude.
Halo I'm glad you are hanging in there and feeling good. :yougo:
Steady we're both really hanging tough. Way to go!:banana:
Have a good one all.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Another totally hot & humid day here - not so much fun.
Sam, hope you don't overheat working outside

LB, if it makes you feel any better -
My chronically depressed & miserable husband walked out of our 37 year marriage a little over a year after I stopped drinking. There was no fighting, no talking, nothing. He just left.
I was obviously very surprised & hurt at the time but I've come to realize it was kind of a gift for me. I have easily remained AF & SF & he continues to struggle with the crap inside his head - I just don't have to live with it anymore. I've worked hard to get myself to where I am now & I'm not going to allow him to drag me back into his depression. You have the strength to do the same

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!
Stay cool if you are stuck in this ungodly heat.

Lav

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Whew it is another hot and humid day

Lav thank you for your inspiration re: hubs. My anniv of 21 years was yest, hubs found a old bottle and once again said he is divorcing me. I will not leave him, but if this is what he wants then he has to do it. I am tired of this rollercoaster.

LB my heart goes out to you. If you need to talk I am here.

a big hello to nursie, ss, wit, birdie (&JT), steady, neddy, sunflower, G-man and anyone else I missed.

Of to roll call,
JDG

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Lav, JDG, I feel for both of you. I'm having issues with my hubs as well. He hates my drinking and wants me to quit. I know he's dealing with a lot with my issues with depression and drinking. I have to watch myself before he decides to leave me.

Much love and strength to you both.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Hi Folks, just thought I'd do an afternoon check in and see how everyone is doing.

Broken Halo. thanks for the wisdom and enjoy your meal tonight with your daughter.

Steadfast and Nursie you are certainly racking up the days and are both an inspiration.

LB thanks for the encouragement, it means a lot.

Lavande your strength and clarity regarding your break-up is both inspiring and amazing.

JDG your progress in terms of days AF is so encouraging and motivational. Sorry to hear about your hubby. Hope it all smooths out for you.

All the best for the rest of the day to everyone at/on MWO. I'm going to check in again later this evening.

Neddy

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,
I am writing to say that I made a deliberate choice to drink yesterday, and of course, am extremely remorseful today about my destructive actions. I really have no excuse except that I was just very overcome with sadness about a lot of things, some personal, some larger, like the state of the planet. I didn't want to feel the emotions I was having and drank to blot them out. Today, I still have the sadness but also had to look into my DH's sad eyes of not knowing how to help me with this addiction.

While I can rack up 30-40 AF days with all kinds of stresses (flights, business dinners, alone in hotel rooms), I can't seem to get a solid second month of AF life. It's almost as if I deliberately choose to fail at what I know I have to succeed at. So, I filled a prescription for AB and will start taking it tomorrow. Even though I will be backpacking for next two weeks, we will be staying in huts, villages, and camping grounds. I want to remove the option for any consumption of wine.

Please know how much I appreciate all of you and the support you provide me and each other. I will be offline for at least two weeks but plan to report in on August 7 that I have been AF since July 19th. Thanks, all.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!
Thank you all for the support yesterday....nary a peep out of JT the rest of the afternoon, so that is a victory! I have conquered one beast, maybe I can conquer this other one, too! The power of Ohmmmmms. (I'd like to not only have ohms, but amps and volts to electrocute that sorry sack of ______(bleeeeeep). Ooops, that slipped.

Happy Friday to all! Remember, it's just another day of the week, not a hot ticket to Boozeville! Waking up with NO REGRETS is worth the price of admission! Kick the G/S/R Brothers out (Guilt/Shame/Remorse)!

Later!! Wear your AF'ness LOUD AND PROUD!!! Sober is the new Drunk! Byrdie

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

The only true voyage...would be not to visit strange lands
but to possess other eyes, to see the universe through the eyes
of another, of a hundred others, to see the hundred universes
that each of them sees, that each of them is. -- Marcel Proust

Hello Dear Nest Friends,

Having read this morning's posts, I'm thinking about gratitude. The first thing I do every morning as soon as my eyes open is think about five things for which I am grateful.

I am grateful for all of you.

All of you help me to "see the universe through the eyes of another." That is one of your many gifts to me.

As an alcoholic, my world had become so narrow as to hardly exist at all. I simply went through the motions of the day while obsessing about alcohol: When was I going to get it?, Where was I going to get it?, How was I going to get it and secretly drink it?, Where was I going to hide the empties?, How was I going to get rid of the empties?? Once that cycle was complete, it would start again within 30 minutes. Over and over and over...

Reading your posts gives me the ability to "possess other eyes" -- eyes that have helped me to understand and believe that there is life beyond drinking alcohol. Real life. Happy life. Free life. Life full of hope. Life with broken dreams now restored.

Every single one of you is a unique and beautiful universe. Yup, you are. You may not know it but you are. You bring life and color and tears and laughter to The Nest. And endless possibilities.

Yes, this post sounds weird. No, I am not on anything except a large dose of gratitude. ~

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Free at last, cross post and I missed your message until just now. Self sabotage is a bitch. I did it too. I got to 12 days twice...the last time I was already at 8 o'clock that night...I had the day MADE! My hubs went downstairs to check something and FOR NO apparent reason, I hopped up, grabbed a coffee mug, filled it to the top with wine and chugged it. I was totally disgusted with myself. WTH???? To this day I can't explain that. Here's the sad part, I was ONE day away from the magic happening. One more day and I would have seen the light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Why do we do this to ourselves is THE question!!! If I had all the answers I'd be a teen again!! :H
All I can say is do whatever it takes to get AL out of your life.....and it sounds like you are well on your way to that.
I'm so sorry that happened....pick right back up and we'll get it this time. I'm warming up your hat already!!! xo, B

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Brydie. I think there's a self-destructive gene and mine was working overtime yesterday. It is so difficult to simultaneously want two very different things -- the presence that living a sober life offers but also the blotting out of anything I don't want to address. I know my life is better without AL, that I have to do this for myself, and that I need help right now. Will be signing off because I haven't started to get ready for my holiday, which starts in four hours!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Hello Free... I was in the same boat yesterday... was completely depressed and wanted to block it all out. I don't post as much as I should but I do read and I want to say that I'm proud of you and what you have accomplished. And we all make mistakes. I'm proud that you came here, picked your self up and are moving forward. Good for you!

My witching hour is right now... It's 6pm on a Friday. I'm home alone. I could so easily sink into a destructive pity party right now, but I'm here instead. Trying to be as strong as I can be.

Much love and strength to you all today.

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, MS, for your kind words but please don't follow my example. Stay focused and AF -- we both know it is the better choice. We can do this together. (But I'll be offline for two weeks!)

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Dear Free & MS,

Some days and nights are so rough!! Alcohol is persistent and clever. And then after alcohol seduces us and gets us to believe that we will feel better if we drink, it turns around and kicks us in the teeth while mocking us.

You are doing the right thing by coming here to read and post and support each other.

I am sending love and hugs to both of you!! :threesome:

Stay strong. You will be VERY HAPPY that you did. ~

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Tess. You have been in my thoughts -- I watched my father slowly die over a period of several years. I was actually by his bedside when he finally crossed over, and I managed to be sober his entire last day. I wanted to honor his life by being fully present for his last breath. Now I have to honor my life by being fully present in this world.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Tess, thank you.

Free, you are so right. We have to be fully present in the world. I hate to think of how much life I have missed from being drunk. I want to live my life, not miss my life.

Both of you, I'm very sorry for your loss.