Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Yes Byrdie is right. You gain the world and you only lose pain. What a trade.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello Sweet Fellow Fledglings and Wise Birds,

Greetings to Everyone!!

I'm in a conundrum. I had decided not to post about my mother's terminal cancer (at 60 years of age) because, well, I don't know -- I guess I thought maybe this is not the place, and I also wanted to protect Mom's privacy, and there are probably other reasons tangled in there too that I am not aware of. But you see, it's impossible for me to post about anything right now without talking about Mom because our lives are so intertwined. So I think it is better for me to just go ahead and post about my life rather than to stop posting. But please tell me if anything I say makes you feel uncomfortable. (But tell me nicely, please...)

My oldest brother Paul arrived from Tucson last evening. He was able to get a few days off work. My parents were in bed for the night when I opened the front door and Paul stepped in. He dropped his bags, scooped me up in an enormous hug and sighed, "Tess, Tess, Tess, Tess, what are we going to do?" I just squeezed my arms around him as if I were keeping his broken heart from falling on the floor. Moments passed in silence. I didn't know what to say. Finally I whispered in Paul's ear, "We are going to love Mama and each other, and the rest is going to take care of itself."

Later, Paul said that he had brought some music. So we went downstairs to the family room to hang out. Paul said, "Baby Tess, this song reminds me of you each time I listen to it." And he played a song that I am not familiar with: I'm Alive (Life Sounds Like) by Michael Franti. (Aww, Paul probably says that to all of my sisters. He's a charmer.) After a while, Paul said, "Let's dance." So we were rockin and dancing wildly and laughing and crying. We were in the same room where Paul taught me to dance (more or less. My sisters put the finishing touches on it LOL!!)

What I've come to understand, Fellow Nesters, is that there are moments of joy in the most difficult situations. Also, there will ALWAYS be difficult situations in our lives. Always. But drinking alcohol is not the effective response. Alcohol can only make everything so much worse. I believe that the effective response to the painful situations in our lives is to FEEL THE PAIN. Live it. And live through it. The sun is gonna come up tomorrow. But even if it doesn't, I'm not going to pour poison down my throat and numb out. No!! I'm going to LIVE this one precious life that has been granted to me.

I'm home this morning and my dogs are dancing 'round, inquiring about breakfast.

I will try to post more today. When I read your posts I want to reply to every one of them. I want to be a "pen pal" with each of you. But the hours in the day are limited. Suffice it to say that you are an amazing group of people. Your courage and care and wisdom help to keep my head above water. Thank you. ~

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Cocoflo;1535286 wrote: Good Morning Nest,

After 2 months alcohol free, I have been drinking regularly (and far too much!!) for the past few weeks. I'm not even sure why. During my time not drinking, I felt physically and mentally better than I had in years of drinking. My head was clear, I had so much energy, I lost weight and people commented that I looked better. Not to mention the money wasted on wine and my embarassing behavior while drinking. Anyway, time to regroup and try again. Back on day one.

Hope everyone has a great day.

cocoflo

Welcome back, Cocoflo!

Like Snap, you've done it before you can do it again :l. Do you know why you started drinking again? If you can figure that out, you can make a plan so that it is different this time.

Don't drift away from the Nest and MWO, ok? Just like people who use AA to get sober have to keep going to meetings, those of us who use MWO must keep reading and posting. Look at the successful people ahead of us who are still reading and posting after 30 months... after 4 years... And look at the posts by people who leave and come back after months or years AF and have to start anew. I think maintaining the connection keeps us on the path we want to take.

I hope today isn't too rough but even if it is, you know that better days are ahead :l.

NS

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

TO EVERYBODY!

You have stopped me getting a drink this last hour whether you realised it or not. Please please let me get to the morning!

thank you!!!!!:l:l:l

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

girly wirly;1535306 wrote: TO EVERYBODY!

You have stopped me getting a drink this last hour whether you realised it or not. Please please let me get to the morning!

thank you!!!!!:l:l:l

Just keep reading and posting and on and on. I found it impossible to drink while reading about people fighting the same battle and WINNING! I wanted to be like them. Read and post as much (and when) you used to drink. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

girly wirly;1535306 wrote: TO EVERYBODY!

You have stopped me getting a drink this last hour whether you realised it or not. Please please let me get to the morning!

thank you!!!!!:l:l:l

girly - YOU have stopped yourself from getting a drink this last hour whether you realize it or not. YOU have the power of choice. We are here loving you and supporting you and cheering you on. Go girl!!! :cheering:

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

its killing me. there are 3 cold cans and three bottles of wine in the fridge!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Dump them. Quickly. Don't think about it. Just go through the motions. Grab them, walk to sink, and dump. Quickly. Then write back.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hey, Nesters

I'm about to make 'read and post' a macro on my computer because I type it so much!

Our brains need to be rewired in several places and the (fairly) simple acts of reading and posting somehow help with that. Reading the posts of different people give you new and different ways of looking at the situation we're in. Some you'll agree with, some you won't but every once in awhile, someone will write something that really resonates with you -- something that gives you that bit of understanding that clarifies the next step you need to take to set yourself free.

When you post, you are defining who you want to be. Do that enough and you'll find you have redefined who you are.

Ask questions.

Offer support.

Be the response to a post that perhaps you wish you had received at some point. Once you've offered a suggestion to someone else, how can you not do that good thing yourself?

Post often! Kuya once 'did the math' and found a pretty good association between posting frequency and success. Come here every day and if you can, more than once a day. Keep the thoughts expressed here so fresh in your mind that they overwhelm the urges to drink that are almost inevitable in the early days.

And when you have reached a goal - be it 7 days or 30 days or 2 months or a year - Don't leave! We rightfully celebrate those milestones but they are not endpoints -- they are mere fractions of the ultimate goal of living a long, rich, and rewarding AF life.

:h NS

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1535311 wrote: Dump them. Quickly. Don't think about it. Just go through the motions. Grab them, walk to sink, and dump. Quickly. Then write back.

i can't!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Why not? Just open them up and pour them out.

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1535315 wrote: Why not? Just open them up and pour them out.

if i open them ill drink them. Im staying away! Think ill have a walk!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Take them with you and dump them in a deep dumpster. GET RID OF THIS SH*T and DON'T BUY MORE!! You can do this but you have to give yourself a fighting chance. That means that there should be NONE in the house. Please don't sabotage yourself. Be as good to yourself as you would be to someone you care about. Once you get some AF time, you'll start to love yourself again, too. Be strong, WhirlyGirly. :h NS

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Then don't open them. Take them out of your living space when you go for a walk and put them in the trash, preferably a dumpster. Get rid of them.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

xPost Tess! Sounds like we've had some similar experiences :H!