Newbies Nest

[witts end]

Newbies Nest

hello everyone
3june I also have been having weird dreams.......puttting it down to being sober to remember them
keep trying those who are struggling ......don't give in
keep up the good work everyone
... you can win this battle it will be hard but you can do it

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Evening everyone! I am counting on my fingers here, I think it's day 18 for me now. I was working today with some colleagues that I only see about once a month, I got loads of compliments about how well I was looking. I have actually noticed a difference myself. My skin is fresh and clear, my mood is positive and I don't have to try to constantly hide my shaky hands! I used to hate that. I had to get up and leave a meeting one day because I couldn't write. Seriously, how unprofessional is that?

Neddy, I am looking forward to hearing how helping your friend move went. Londoner, nice to meet you, please stick around the Nest, it's a great place to be no matter where in your journey you are. Tess, I so enjoy your posts, I wish I was half as eloquent as you are! Byrdie, thanks as always for being here and being so strong for us.

SD, NS and 3J, I also love what you bring to the threads, so much positivity, I love it!

Girly, just get back on the horse, try to learn from what happened and arm yourself for next time.

I had a great day today, hope you all did too. I am looking forward to being 54 tomorrow, I feel so much younger than I have in a long time! Thanks everyone for all the support and strength, I really hope I can start to give something back now

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

A lot of great posts today!
Giving in to the Beast is just like picking off a scab....it starts the bleeding all over again...do whatever it takes NOT to pick it off....Apply Butt Velcro immediately, or post here in the nest. Call a friend, do anything but get your thinking off of taking that first drink....because we all know it's not going to just be one more. Do whatever it takes to ride over a craving....you will NOT regret it!!! Dont' forget to eat!
Great job everyone!! Byrdie

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

broken halo;1535768 wrote: Evening everyone! I am counting on my fingers here, I think it's day 18 for me now. I was working today with some colleagues that I only see about once a month, I got loads of compliments about how well I was looking. I have actually noticed a difference myself. My skin is fresh and clear, my mood is positive and I don't have to try to constantly hide my shaky hands! I used to hate that. I had to get up and leave a meeting one day because I couldn't write. Seriously, how unprofessional is that?

Neddy, I am looking forward to hearing how helping your friend move went. Londoner, nice to meet you, please stick around the Nest, it's a great place to be no matter where in your journey you are. Tess, I so enjoy your posts, I wish I was half as eloquent as you are! Byrdie, thanks as always for being here and being so strong for us.

SD, NS and 3J, I also love what you bring to the threads, so much positivity, I love it!

Girly, just get back on the horse, try to learn from what happened and arm yourself for next time.

I had a great day today, hope you all did too. I am looking forward to being 54 tomorrow, I feel so much younger than I have in a long time! Thanks everyone for all the support and strength, I really hope I can start to give something back now

Hi Broken Halo and others, not done so good I am afraid to say. I had all sorts of things ready to say to stop me from drinking but they were to no avail. I allowed myself to be talked into "one" and eight beers later here I am. At least I am home. Usually I wouldn't be.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new day 1.

I need to be realistic here though. I have done well and I can do well again, but I need to jettison toxic relationships. I want to help people but, ultimately, I need to look after myself and not put myself in difficult situations. I need to toughen up when people want help.

Hope I haven't let the side down.

NM xx

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Neddy

It is wonderful that you came right back. You've learned something important, too.

We'd have felt let down if you'd left MWO because you'd made a mistake, not because of the mistake itself. It is great to have you here.

In the long run, whether day 1 is tomorrow or last week won't really matter - just do what it takes to make the one that starts tomorrow the last one .

One thing I tried was to promise myself I would post before I drank - just that pause might be enough to stop you or the responses you would likely receive would help you make a different choice.

It also can be helpful to limit your activities to those without AL until you are sure of the strength of your resolve - this is hard enough without adding unnecessary temptations.

I'm glad you made it safely home. See you tomorrow - NS

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Thanks NS.

That's just what I need to hear. You are absolutely right about unnecessary temptations, I should have told my "friend" that I had something else on and that he should have found someone else.

I'll see you in the morning for roll call - Day 1 (again)

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

You have not let me down, Neddy. This morning when I was reading your post about going to help a friend and that it would be a challenge, you wrote, "I said I would help him so I'm not letting him down." I thought: Don't let yourself down either, Neddy. And I was going to write that to you but then I thought, "Oh, I'm kind of a tough ass. I need to be more gentle." So I didn't say that to you. But that's what I thought.

Neddy, I wrote a post to a gal earlier today and I explained that after six months of sobriety I still need to be careful about what I do, where I go, and who I spend time with. Why? Because I'm vulnerable. I'm a recovering alcoholic. If I hang out with a bunch of people who are drinking cold beers, I'm gonna want one too. I may be strong enough to suck on iced tea. I think I'd be strong enough. I'd sure as hell try to avoid the beer. But you know what? I might trip and fall. I might think, "Oh what's the big deal? It's only one beer." And then later that night I'd be crawling down my hallway to bed because I couldn't walk after drinking a dozen or more beers. And that would only happen if I was lucky enough to make it home rather than land in jail or the morgue.

Yup, I'm worked-up. Not with you, Neddy. With alcohol. With the idea that we can keep quitting and starting. Quitting and starting. Quitting and starting. And we coddle each other. Hell, any one of us could binge and die any day of the week. But we don't act like it's really that serious do we?? I mean, the other guy has the "big" problem, not me, right?

Truth is, anyone on this site has a big problem. And big problems require tough solutions.

I know myself. I'm going to feel guilty and terrible about this post in an hour or so. And I'll probably be writing back to apologize. But I will be apologizing for hurting your feelings, NOT for speaking the truth.

I guess I still have a lot of work to do in the Compassion and Love department.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1535818 wrote: You have not let me down, Neddy. This morning when I was reading your post about going to help a friend and that it would be a challenge, you wrote, "I said I would help him so I'm not letting him down." I thought: Don't let yourself down either, Neddy. And I was going to write that to you but then I thought, "Oh, I'm kind of a tough ass. I need to be more gentle." So I didn't say that to you. But that's what I thought.

Neddy, I wrote a post to a gal earlier today and I explained that after six months of sobriety I still need to be careful about what I do, where I go, and who I spend time with. Why? Because I'm vulnerable. I'm a recovering alcoholic. If I hang out with a bunch of people who are drinking cold beers, I'm gonna want one too. I may be strong enough to suck on iced tea. I think I'd be strong enough. I'd sure as hell try to avoid the beer. But you know what? I might trip and fall. I might think, "Oh what's the big deal? It's only one beer." And then later that night I'd be crawling down my hallway to bed because I couldn't walk after drinking a dozen or more beers. And that would only happen if I was lucky enough to make it home rather than land in jail or the morgue.

Yup, I'm worked-up. Not with you, Neddy. With alcohol. With the idea that we can keep quitting and starting. Quitting and starting. Quitting and starting. And we coddle each other. Hell, any one of us could binge and die any day of the week. But we don't act like it's really that serious do we?? I mean, the other guy has the "big" problem, not me, right?

Truth is, anyone on this site has a big problem. And big problems require tough solutions.

I know myself. I'm going to feel guilty and terrible about this post in an hour or so. And I'll probably be writing back to apologize. But I will be apologizing for hurting your feelings, NOT for speaking the truth.

I guess I still have a lot of work to do in the Compassion and Love department.

Tess2 You have nothing to feel guilty and terrible about. You speak the truth. I realise, though, that I need to prioritise me over other people even if that does come across as selfish. The thing is, though, I have been selfish all my life but in a different kind of way.

You haven't hurt my feelings so please don't fret about that. I appreciate the fact that you care enough to respond.

NM xx

[Scarlett1946]

Newbies Nest

Hello....
I had NO idea that a place like this existed!!! I found you all because I was looking up supplements and stuff to keep my liver from jumping out of my body and it popped up. This could be just what I need!!!

I have been a moderate drinker since I was a teen.... lately (last 10 years or so) I have been a very heavy drinker, if either a bottle (2 sometimes) of wine or half a bottle of vodka a night is considered heavy (my doctor looked shocked when I confessed, so I guess it must be heavy). I know I cannot blame anybody but myself, but I have to say that I have a very stressful marriage that I am not able to leave and that has NOT helped. As soon as I set foot in the door after work, I feel the need to rush in and get to drinking. I get everything done, dinner, cleaning up, laundry, taking care of all the pets and kids, etc.... but some mornings I wake up and have no memory from dinner on. I tiptoe around the house in the morning to see if I can get clues from what went on, but usually all is well! Then I check facebook to make sure I didn't drunk post. It makes me so sick and ashamed. My "sweet" husband loves to make drinking jokes at my expense. Sometimes in front of the kids. I know the only way to stop all of this is to just STOP! Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for something horrible to happen that will make me stop. I am so confused, I WANT to stop drinking and I also Don't want to stop, because what about all the lovely holiday meals and BBQ's that I make that special drinks are so much a part of?? I wish I could drink sometimes. Last night, I only had one half shot, and I think that is progress!! I didn't think I could sleep. Tonight I will try to not drink. I worry because I have read that it's bad to stop cold turkey.... something about blood sugar. Anyway, I am happy to be here and really hope that I can gain encouragement from you all. And maybe actually help others!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Neddy Merrill;1535821 wrote: Tess2 You have nothing to feel guilty and terrible about. You speak the truth. I realise, though, that I need to prioritise me over other people even if that does come across as selfish. The thing is, though, I have been selfish all my life but in a different kind of way.

You haven't hurt my feelings so please don't fret about that. I appreciate the fact that you care enough to respond.

NM xx

I do care. I care very much. Thank you for your gracious reply. I will see you here tomorrow morning. ~

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

You bet you will, Tess2. I am off to bed now. Tomorrow is a brand new day and one that I will enjoy.

Nm x

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Tess....thanks for the stern talking to. After a few months of sobriety I feel myself falling into that trap of...."really is this all there is?" I've been tired and run down lately. I needed those words you posted to NM.

I already know the flip side of giving in to even one drop. No Thanks

Welcome Scarlett.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Tess, I do believe you are in training to be the next Nest Mum :H
Showing the youngsters the way is what we do We joke around a lot but this is serious business!

Neddy, honestly, I spent the first three months at home & tucked into the nest! I work from home & only went out to buy necessities. Get yourself restarted & be a bit selfish for a few months. If you don't make changes then nothing changes. You are in charge of your future!

Scarlett, hello & welcome, glad you found us! Please be sure & go to the Health store here on the site & download the MWO book, it's full of good info for you. And take a look in our Tool box for great ideas to help you put a plan together for yourself. Stay close to the nest!

SF, sounds like you need to give yourself a little TLC. You know that life really is so much better without AL. Those up & down moods are completely normal, we all have them but we don't need to drink over them. Time to get yourself interested in something new & exciting

Wishing everyone a safe night in the net!
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Scarlett!
Quitting cold turkey is the only way I could quit. Tapering down was much like moderating, it just didn't work. The problem is that once you start restricting yourself, it makes you even more agitated, or at least it did me. When you get to the point where we are, one drink only leads to another. And yes, I'm afraid that the amounts you are drinking are 'not normal'. In fact, once you get sober, you'll realize that no amount of AL is really normal. Being sober is normal!! Someone just posted this, if AL is causing you a problem, then you have a problem with AL. JUST start!! It will be the best decision you've made in your adult life. Don't let the fear of starting keep you from it. I had the same worries as you....how could I possibly survive in my world without AL? The answer is: Quite well!! Turns out, you don't have to have AL at BBQ's and to make dinner! You don't even need it at parties, or to relax or to celebrate! It really turns out OK!!! Actually BETTER than ok! I have regained my self respect and I look forward to the future. I'm not tied to a bottle and I'm not a prisoner of having drank AL. My life was just exhausting! All I wanted to do was drink and I hated it...what kind of life is that? So what did I really give up? I have saved over $9000 by not drinking...lost 13 pounds, regained the respect and trust of my husband....life is totally different now, all in better ways. You can do this...anything or anyone who tells you differently is wrong. If a hardcore drinker like me can get sober, I know you can! Check out the Tool Box (link below) and just keep posting and reading! Grab your life back! It is worth it! This place saves lives and I'm one of them! Welcome aboard!!! Byrdie

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good evening friends,

Scarlett, welcome! It can seem kind of scary at first to think about quitting drinking. The monkey mind, the beast, etc whatever we call it will usually rear right up and begin to protest loudly and bargain convincingly. One of the things that was really helpful for me was to realize that this voice was not really me, and I could wait it out, or eventually ignore it. The real voice is the quiet, sincere but sometimes very weakened voice that got us here to this site. Your post is full of alot of honesty, with yourself and your doctor. That's a great thing because honesty is what we need to muster up when the going gets tough. I hope you stick around, you will never ever regret quitting!

Neddy, you are completely correct to recognize the need to be "selfish."

Sunflower, I think I had a dip in the road around 3 or 4 months too. Maybe the brain healing or something else? Where's Unwasted? She would probably know. I have found it helpful during those times to go back to basics: sleep, nutrition, hydration and excercise.

Tess, I have enjoyed your posts today.

Have a great AF night everyone.