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    Euphoric Recall

    I wanted to repost something from the Tool Box that had been given to us by Mario. It's called Euphoric Recall.....where you only remember the good times you had with AL! An interesting read!

    mario;1005640 wrote: Yesterday i was standing outside of a pub in my area and you could here all the noise and laughter coming out,and it started getting me thinking of was i missing anything as i thought they all seemed to be having a great time,i then followed my thoughts through and wondered were would they all be in a few hours ? drunk, talking stupid, sick, broke ?Thinking about using alcohol and other drugs increases the risk of relapse. Thinking is a cognitive process controlled by the cerebral cortex or thinking part of the brain. There are three ways of thinking about alcohol that are particularly dangerous.
    The first is called euphoric recall. You remember and exaggerating the good times that you had when using alcohol and other drugs while blocking out or minimizing the bad times.
    A recovering person who called himself Jake the Snake used to tell the story of the great time he had when he got stoned on cocaine and stole $150,000 worth of coke from his supplier and went off for a marvelous one week binge in Las Vegas. He forgot to mention that he caught a serious venereal disease from a prostitute, and was nearly killed when his supplier showed up to get his coke back. After being shot and taken to the emergency room, the police found a small bag of cocaine and some marijuana in Jake?s room and he ended up in jail and was serving a seven year sentence when I talked with him. He still argues that he had a good time.
    The second relapse-prone way of thinking is called Awfulizing Abstinence
    . You think about all of the bad times associated with being alcohol free while blocking out and minimizing all of the good times.
    A woman named Jessie told me that nothing was working out for her since she got sober and she felt she would be better off to start drinking again. When Jessie was drinking she was unemployed, earning money by prostitution, and was in a skid row cubicle hotel. Now she was physically healthy, working a regular job, and sharing a decent apartment in a middle class neighborhood with two women she got to know through her home group of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). But in her her mind, at that moment, she felt her sobriety was awful, terrible, and unbearable.
    The third relapse prone way of thinking is called magical thinking about use. Cognitive therapists call this positive expectancy
    . We start to believe that using alcohol will somehow magically fix out problems and make our lives better. WE forget that alcohol makes us feel good for a little while and then wipes out our judgment and impulse control setting us off into a cycle of self-destructive behaviors that destroys us and those that we love.
    People who relapse often begin to spend of their time cycling between these three ways of relapse prone thinking. They remember drinking and exaggerate the good times while refusing to think about any pain or problems. They exaggerate all the pain and problems of living sober while blocking out any benefits. They then begin to think about how alcohol could magically fix them and make everything in their life wonderful once again. This creates a strong desire to use alcohol......I needed this today as reminder :goodjob:
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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      Newbies Nest

      Good Evening, fellow nesters. Just thought I'd drop in for a bit to see how everyone's doing.

      NS - well done on a great achievement. I am inspired.

      Tess2 - your kindness and devotion is unrivalled. Not only are you facing the difficult circumstances of your mum, but you are on here encouraging and celebrating others. What a wonderful human being you are.

      Broken Halo - your image of prosecco tasting like stale piss made me laugh. I must have drunk gallons of stale piss in my time then, but I'm sticking to smoothies and juices from now on thanks very much. Hope the birthday continues to go well.

      3J, Byrdie - the nurturing you give us here in the nest is so comforting - keep up the good and highly appreciated work.

      To all other nesters - have a great, sober day.

      I'll check by again later to see how you are doing.

      BFN

      NM
      "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

      Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


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        Newbies Nest

        Great last post Byrdie and something that resonates.

        Mario if you are out there, thank you

        NM
        "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

        Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


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          Wow Byrdie that's a real eye opener for me. Thanks for sharing Mario's post. It really makes sense that my mind seems to run between these three modes a lot of the time. I have learned here that it is about changing the way we think. Being grateful instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. Being thankful instead of depressed. It is all about what we allow to grow in our minds. We are in control.
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            Byrdie
            good post... In the near future (2nd or 3rd weekend in August) I normally attend a fiddle camp. In the past, I've enjoyed with my now past favorite beverage... Guinness on tap followed by a few shots of Scotch till wee hours in the morning and playing tunes. I began to think longingly about this and THEN recalled the morning of leaving last year and just how badly I felt. I had ridden my motorcycle to this event so of course I had to ride back. I felt like shit forever, thankfully I can still recall that pain. It will be a different camp, my friends who also attend know I've stopped drinking, this will be another acid test. It will be a hard one but I want to know I can do it. It may not be that bad as I've gone to a few festivals this year and stayed sober and enjoyed them.

            I've often wondered if I would like the taste of stout if there were no alcohol in it. I bet not. I don't care much for the AF beer.
            Liberated 5/11/2013

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              Hi Samstone, great post and you got me thinking. "The taste" was a huge hang up for me for years. I mean, how could I possibly have a problem if I was drinking for the taste?! I got into beer brewing and I was pretty good at it. Unfortunately, it wasn't really about the taste... I DID like the taste, but I was drinking for the buzz, every time. I really like cherries, but if my doctor told me that cherries were killing me, I'd stop today. The difference between cherries and alcohol was that I knew what alcohol was doing to my life but I kept on in spite of it. The thing is that I can only see it clearly now from this side. It is terrifying to look at the self deception I engaged in.

              June, I liked your post about gratitude and shift in thinking, thanks!
              "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
              AF 11/12/11

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                Newbies Nest

                Congratulations nson 6 months. That is really huge.
                I'm really glad you are staying with us. Remaining al free is really worth it.
                Broken Halo I got myself shoes for my first 30 day milestone. I try and reward myself when I reach a goal. The carrot and the stick mentality works for me.
                Byrdie Thanks for that reminder on euphoric thinking. I know that I am guilty of that very thing. But I do remember how much I hurt when I finally reached my rock bottom. I hold that memory close. That painful reminder helps me not take that first drink.
                Jdgirl I'm glad you are doing so well. Keep it up.
                Lav I hope you are having a great day.
                Sunflower I too get times when I feel down. Like I just don't have any energy. And then I remind myself how crappy I felt hungover or 3rd day anxious. I do feel much better not drinking I just have euphoria memory. (hah).
                Neddy I feel for you. I'm not sure if your friend pressured you into that drink, but either way it really isn't easy being around someone else who is drinking. I live with that situation. My daughter drinks. Everyone I know drinks. But I don't. I really think youhave the determination to remain af.
                I am sorry if I missed anyone.
                Have a great af day (or night).
                No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Thanks LB. You are absolutely right: I was pressured into that drink. It's kind of a west of Scotland mentality - if you don't drink then there is obviously something wrong with your masculinity! My "friend" from last night called a short time ago to ask if I wanted to go out and started piling the pressure on again. This time, though, I was very assertive and told him (as politely as possible of course) that I have other things in my life that I want to attend to and not neglect. Neglect is something that I have excelled at for the last number of years but I am going to build bridges with the people who really matter to me and the ones who I have let down over the years.

                  NM
                  "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

                  Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


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                    Newbies Nest

                    Neddy, peer pressure is the worst. Drinking is part of our culture, yet there are plenty of people who have somehow managed to have fun without it. It takes a lot of strength to tell people we don't drink any more. I told people I couldn't do things in the beginning because I couldn't be around it. Now it's easier. I also have found that I do have non drinking friends, and I am hanging around with them far more. I hope you can find people to hang out with that understand won't pressure you.
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                      Totally with you on the peer pressure stuff 3J. I will find buddies that don't drink I am sure, but ironically I don't mind my own company - I just used to drink with it. I am going to resurrect a lot of hobbies and interests that I have let slip over the years and try to get back to the essential, authentic me rather than the boozebag that I became.
                      "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

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                        Neddy Merrill;1536142 wrote: Thanks LB. You are absolutely right: I was pressured into that drink. It's kind of a west of Scotland mentality - if you don't drink then there is obviously something wrong with your masculinity! My "friend" from last night called a short time ago to ask if I wanted to go out and started piling the pressure on again. This time, though, I was very assertive and told him (as politely as possible of course) that I have other things in my life that I want to attend to and not neglect. Neglect is something that I have excelled at for the last number of years but I am going to build bridges with the people who really matter to me and the ones who I have let down over the years.

                        NM
                        My Friend Neddy Merrill,

                        I'm terribly sorry that I was harsh with you yesterday. (Of course, I still stand by the truth of what I wrote!!) I'd like to have a little "chat" with your "friend." Though I'm quite certain that he would not like to have a chat with me. And "west of Scotland" has it all wrong about masculinity. Actually, all industrialized nations have it all wrong about masculinity. Perhaps I could have a "chat" with the modern world...

                        What does a gal want in a guy? The very same things a guy wants in a gal: Be sober, Be loyal, Attend to the One that you love. Neglect is a deal-breaker. Being a drunk and being unfaithful "kill the deal" too.

                        I'm very fortunate that my husband stuck around through my drinking career. He had every right to leave. I'm making it up to him now. :bigwink: What is mean is, cooking and cleaning the house a lot, you know...

                        All joking aside, we do feel intimidated by what our friends and family will think when we choose to remain sober (and healthy and conscious and free). But you know what? I'm gonna tell you a secret: those folks actually admire us. Now, they are NEVER going to admit this, but they admire and respect us. They even feel a bit of jealousy cuz they don't have the (male anatomy) or guts to do the same.

                        So walk proud, NM. And when the world is insensitive I'll still be here in The Nest to add a bit of suffering to your day... :sorry:

                        Thanks for being here with us. You make The Nest a better place.
                        Tess in The Nest ~ Sober since January 1, 2013

                        The man pulling radishes
                        pointed the way
                        with a radish. ISSA

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                          Tess2, You are (again) absolutely right. I am sure that there is that latent admiration for people who do get off the booze. I can't imagine anyone who would wake up in the condition I did for years and think, "Wow! This is a great feeling. I can't wait to spend the rest of my time here on Earth feeling like this."

                          And thanks for your support and friendship and, honestly, I still don't think you were harsh. Just being what a friend should - open, honest, helpful and, above all, honest.

                          The nest wouldn't be the nest without you.

                          NM x
                          "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

                          Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


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                            Newbies Nest

                            Scarlett, I'm so glad you found the Nest last night . Please post again and let us know how you are doing! You, too, Mandiekinz - Welcome!

                            Gardner, good job on not letting one uncomfortable night undo all the good work you've done. However long it takes to get through a tough evening has to be shorter than the time it would take the next day to get over a hangover! Especially when you would have to now add in being furious with yourself for ending your AF streak. Always read and post before drinking!!

                            Tess, I don't think you've been harsh in any of your posts and there is no need to apologize. Further, I think we need some well-phrased straight-talk in the Nest. Kuya asked me some really tough questions early on that were instrumental in moving me forward. I needed someone who cut through any and all BS. I suspect we all do. And its not like any of us is wondering where Byrdie stands on abstinence vs. moderation...:H. This is a difficult thing to do so we all need to toughen up and that includes giving and receiving constructive criticism.

                            Neddy, Sounds like you've already put what you learned yesterday into action. Great job!

                            Hi, Sunflower. I'm glad you're in the Nest. I see you when I lurk in the daily abs thread but it is nice to have you here, too. (3June told me what MAE means so now maybe I'll get up the guts to post there one of these days - I thought y'all had something like a secret handshake going on :H ).

                            Happy Birthday B.Halo! Did I read somewhere that you are 54 today? If so, join the club of women in their mid-50s! There are so many of that age here - maybe that means that when we finally realize we're screwed up, we're smart enough to look for some help! Good job on disposing of your liquid presents. I got a couple of those for my last birthday, also, and was glad to be rid of them.

                            Samstone, Lav, JDG, Byrdie, LittleBeagle, Pinecone, SDA, and anyone I've missed, thanks for keeping this thread active. Sometimes in the beginning, I was so desperate for contact that I would come to the Nest obsessively (addictively ??) and would be so disappointed if there was nothing new to read. So, keep posting, everyone! It's good for you and it is a gift to your readers!

                            FallenAngel, thank you for all the support you've lavished upon me and for mentioning that today is 6 months for me and 3June, I really appreciate that thread you started. I'm so glad you joined MWO! Byrdie, it looks like you are doing rapid toe-touches in your post! It is ok if you stop bowing now but thank you so much for believing in me and helping me believe in myself . I'm not usually comfortable as the center of attention but it's not too embarrassing here because I know you all understand what is involved in making the decision to quit and taking all the necessary steps to get free. It is hard work and I was unable to do it on my own. I'm so so grateful for all of you who enabled me to do it with your love and support. There is amazing strength in a community of like-minded people.

                            It isn't easy and we all know that, but there is just one simple rule
                            to follow (and I quote Lav): If you want to quit drinking, then don't drink.

                            Love, NS

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                              NoSugar....yes, if anyone wants to discuss moderation, I'm yer girl!! :H:H:H
                              How funny, I lurk over on the af daily thread too! Bahahaha.....maybe one day we'll muster up the nerve to post!
                              Stay strong everyone, some great posts today!! Hang tough, you'll never regret it! Byrdie
                              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                                Well I've had a hot bath and I'm going to pop off to bed shortly and read a book. It's nice to be able to focus and not just collapse into an unwashed coma.

                                Gardener that was well done. NS is right. I was upset with myself for losing my AF streak so good for you.

                                Fallen Angel, Tess, Sunflower, Broken Halo, 3J, Little Beagle, Lav, JDG, Byrdie, Pinecone, and any other nesters I've missed, wherever you are in the world today/tonight keep safe and keep up the great work you do on this thread. I am so grateful to you all for supporting and helping me through the good times and the bad time last night.

                                Goodnight and Loadzalove NM
                                "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

                                Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


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