Newbies Nest

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone;1536126 wrote: Hi Samstone, great post and you got me thinking. "The taste" was a huge hang up for me for years. I mean, how could I possibly have a problem if I was drinking for the taste?! I got into beer brewing and I was pretty good at it. Unfortunately, it wasn't really about the taste... I DID like the taste, but I was drinking for the buzz, every time. I really like cherries, but if my doctor told me that cherries were killing me, I'd stop today. The difference between cherries and alcohol was that I knew what alcohol was doing to my life but I kept on in spite of it. The thing is that I can only see it clearly now from this side. It is terrifying to look at the self deception I engaged in.

June, I liked your post about gratitude and shift in thinking, thanks!

Pine
I used to brew beer, make wine, even had a still for a short period of time... all fun hobbies... one dang major drawback, me. My wife has often expressed a desire to start a vineyard here... boy would that be a mistake!
Thanks for reply
Sam

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Dear NoSugar - Huge congratulations on six months of AF life. Very Nice!! Not easy (as you well know) but totally worth it!! :happy:

I'm sorry that I missed the thread that was started for me at six months AF. Finally looked, but never did find it. I think that's kind of funny because, like you, I'd just as soon stay away from bright lights and a bunch of fuss. I'm just a gal from the farm and I'd kind of like to keep it that way. :cat: (This is a cat, BTW. Doesn't look a lot like a cat. I grew up with a many barn cats, so maybe I've seen a cat like this before. Not sure...)

I feel like I'm in labor. Or... what I mean is, what I imagine labor would feel like: basically, not good!! My mom is sick. I try not to cry all of the time. But sometimes I do cry a whole big bunch.

I cry when I think of the farm, and Mom, and barn cats and horses and life in general. Long before I became a drunk and then got sober.

Okay, I'm rambling... Signing off with Love. ~

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1536199 wrote: [COLOR=Navy]
I'm sorry that I missed the thread that was started for me at six months AF. Finally looked, but never did find it.

Here you go: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-af-77988.html.

[Scarlett1946]

Newbies Nest

Wow, I NEVER expected so much welcome and encouragement! Thank you everyone!

Mandiekinz, nice to meet a fellow newbie. You are doing better than me!

Nosugar, congrats on 6 months! BTW, I guess from your name you stay away from sugar? I do too, as well as wheat.

Last night was so-so.... I didn't drink as much as usual, but I drank. It is terrible, just reading about NOT drinking yesterday made me want to drink... I knew even as I drove home that I was going to do it. Like the brandy bottle had a rope around me and was pulling me closer. I did remain clear and have full memory of the whole night, though. I guess I need to look up some of the videos on liver damage, huh?! Tuesdays and Saturdays are the worst for me. Tuesdays are incredibly busy and it feels like the only way to get the knots out. Saturdays are both huge chore days and huge reward days... I slave all morning and drink into a stupor all afternoon and usually mess dinner up. Pretty embarrassing.
The longest I have ever "mostly" quit drinking was for 4 months because I was on the medifast diet and no alcohol allowed... (the "mostly" is because I had the occasional bit of beer and wine during holidays and birthdays) It was an incredibly expensive diet and that was the real motivator.... I had to lose weight fast so I could get off of the pricey food!
Anyway, I feel good here! Thank you for the welcome. :h

[some-dumbass]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1536199 wrote: I'm sorry that I missed the thread that was started for me at six months AF. Finally looked, but never did find it.

here it is:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-af-77988.html

take time to take care of yourself Tess, you're going through a tough time & you're no good to your Mom if you fall off the wagon - sounds like your brother has the right idea

thanks for everyone's support today, seems like it's been a busy day in here, I've rather lost track of individuals. had a good day again. got a bit twitchy around the 'witching hour', but nothing I couldn't handle. came across a nice Winston Churchill quote: "when you're going through Hell, keep going" which I thought was quite apt

anyway, time for bed here, see you all tomorrow

SD

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Aww, thank you NS and SD for the link. Hubs is here telling me that it's time to rest for a while. He's been so supportive. I will try to rest. But I can't seem to talk my mind and my heart into resting with me. They are scrambling to make sense of something that can make no sense. I love my great-grandmother, long since departed. She used to tell me a childhood rhyme: "Little hands, little hands, be careful what you do. For if you get spanked and put to bed, I have to go too." So... I must go to bed. Not because I'm in trouble but because I will collapse if I do not rest.

NoSugar, I love your signature line: "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." I have lots of shadows within, but I believe (but do not yet see) that the light is streaming through.

Hugs to ALL. ~

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, this place is busy

Happy birthday Broken halo!

CONGRATS on your 6 AF months NS :yay:
Make such a huge difference, don't you think?

Hello & welcome to the newest nestlings.
I am so supremely busy with grandkids, work, life, etc this summer I can't keep up with everything going on here. Hang in there, stay close to the nest & everything will be OK!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[halo]

Newbies Nest

The nest is the best place to be, the place I miss the most with no internet access at the cottage! Could care less about facebook, I miss the MWO! Just wanted to say hello and give a big congrats to No Sugar on 6 months!! That is awesome... :goodjob: :l

[Mandiekinz]

Newbies Nest

Oh Tess...having known you through just a few paragraphs and I just want to run over there and squeeze hug you. My fiance's sister is also on her way to the spirit life very soon due to breast cancer. What a wretched disease. It's humbling to think about it. I can't really pull any "poor me" cards with my life demons as there is always someone hurting more. I can't imagine such a struggle to lose your "life remedy" and to manage keeping sane and strong for your mother. I bet she's soooo grateful to have such a lovely daughter be by her side and make her so proud for your hard work.

I never made it to 6...but I made it to 5 before and it felt GREAT!...I hope you're feeling fantastic and see your hard earned work, NoSugar

I'm off to soberly attempt this fried chicken I made once last week but can't remember how good it was.

Love and happy thoughts sent to all you

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Hello again

Hi again everyone,
Just crashing back in again after another 6 months of madness. Back to trying again. Read some awesome stories on here today which have helped my mind and my heart, and given me some optimism and a warm glow which was desperately needed. Don't know what my plan is, just to stay sober today. Did yesterday, had no sleep but happy to be not hungover for the first time in ages. Love to all xxxxx:l

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Visiting late tonight. Thanks to everyone for the kind words and I still do not know what MAE means!

Today getting ready for work I felt happy....for no reason at all. Had a great day at work...focused and got a lot done. The ride home was different.

My hubby and boys were supposed to be on a 3 day vacation today. They were unable to go.....but, AL thoughts tortured me.....as I remembered in the past when they would go away and I could finally drink like I wanted to. I wanted to get good and drunk.....but damn they were home! I wanted to climb the walls...

I headed to my recovery group. The speaker said:

Sitting in addiction is like living the same day over and over again, regardless of what you are doing, because your mind is still doing the same thing it does everyday.

It hit home. Tired, waiting until it was time for a drink, getting a drink, drinking too much, pass out in bed. My minded repeated that same scenario day after day if I was home, on vacation, kids ball game.....no matter where I went or what I did....my mind was on a cycle of repeat.

I hung out with two women afterwards.....and we had a great time. We were in tears laughing at the stupid things we had done. Regardless of the story we can all relate. Now that was soooo much better than getting good and drunk

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Evening all
Tess, somehow I, too, missed your 6 month AF. It has taken me awhile to learn to navigate here. SOOOOOOO
a belated Congratulations!!
Sam

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Wow, been away for 10 days and can't keep up with everyone.
Been on vacation with limited internet access.
A few days AF! yeah!
Bike riding in the mountains with family on an organized ride. 250 miles over 5 days.
Before I left, I had a half-assed plan to exercise and not drink, it worked, mostly. I could refuse Al saying I had to re-hydrate with water. With the amount of exercising, I really didn't feel the need to drink.
Before I left, a few suggested I need a plan, 3 June, Lav, Byrdie, You were so right.

What I failed to do, was plan what would happen when I got home. Fell into the same old habit, on day one. Sucks. 9 units of AL, what???? after only 6 units the previous week.
Although it was amazing that just exercise and a good diet kept the desire away. Need to get back on that horse. Wishing everyone the best.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back noodle.
Mr. V glad you ardor back.just don't give up. The plan is everything.
Lav I am glad you are having such a busy, fun summer.
A vineyard Sam? Am glad you are doing so great.
Tess thanks for all of your words of encouragement. I like plain speaking.
Night all.

[girly wirly]

Newbies Nest

I'm here with an aching liver! Morning all!