Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Neddy and bhalo it sounds like you are both having a lovely weekend.
3j yes you do find out who your friends are.
I am resting today. Went shopping this morning.
I feel good today. 90 days af. I bought new dishes to celebrate.
I wish Steady would check in. Has anyone heard anything?

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

little beagle;1537205 wrote: Neddy and bhalo it sounds like you are both having a lovely weekend.
3j yes you do find out who your friends are.
I am resting today. Went shopping this morning.
I feel good today. 90 days af. I bought new dishes to celebrate.
I wish Steady would check in. Has anyone heard anything?

LB - 90 days! Wow! Lots of respect and huge congratulations.

You must be so proud.

NM

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations on 90 days, Little Beagle!

You have been such a reliable, supportive poster :l !

What has helped you the most in getting to this point?

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

3June2013;1536798 wrote: ...Thanks for waking up the philosopher in us all...

3June, you are a gem!! I would like your thoughts on something: I first watched the documentary Rain In My Heart in January, just a few days after coming off the sauce. Yes, it seemed harsh and scary at that time. Then I watched it again yesterday. Six months into sobriety it had a different impact on me. I could hear the person who filmed the documentary asking logical questions of the people afflicted with alcoholism. I heard the doctors asking the same type of questions, with compassion, of course. And it struck me that we who are stuck in the nightmare of alcoholism have no answer to logical questions. What can we say??

So... it sort of breaks my heart. I want to hug those people in the documentary (two who died during the filming, the other two probably now dead) and hold them and tell them that I "get" it. Okay, I may "get" it but what is the answer? What is their hope?

And this is my question. I was able to stop drinking. I had a sunrise to sunset addiction for five years. I spent time in the hospital. I spent time on a bridge contemplating suicide in the wee hours of the morning. I was a very sick gal. But I was able to stop drinking once I had a shred of hope and a few people to cheer me on. So here, finally, is my question: why are some people able to quit drinking while others drink unto death? Why??

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

little beagle;1537205 wrote: Neddy and bhalo it sounds like you are both having a lovely weekend.
3j yes you do find out who your friends are.
I am resting today. Went shopping this morning.
I feel good today. 90 days af. I bought new dishes to celebrate.
I wish Steady would check in. Has anyone heard anything?

LB, three months is MASSIVE :thumbs::thumbs:

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Well, it's just about time to head for bed I think.

It's been another great AF day and I'm looking forward to another one tomorrow.

It's amazing: not so long ago I was dreading the next day coming because I knew it was going to be the same old shit and misery.

Thank you fellow nesters for helping me make this transition to a new and better life. I am more grateful than you know.

NM

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good evening friends,

JDG, good to see you. How frustrating that must have been to come home covered in alcohol! And then have to face the Spanish Inquisition...Kudos to you for holding it together, that shows some resolve.

LB, congratulations on your 90 days! I'm so happy for you! New dishes sounds like such a nice way to celebrate.

K9 I'm very glad to see you. Can't wait to hear about your new dog. We lost our best friend back in May and its just not the same without a dog around. I have to remedy that soon.

Neddy, I know you know that a friend wouldn't tell you that. I know I always quietly admired people who weren't drinking while I was.

BH I like what you posted about the strengths/weaknesses. Thanks for posting that.

Have a great AF evening everyone.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Tess that is the very heart of the matter. Why some have strength to reach out for help but others don't. I live both sides of this issue everyday. Watching someone kill themselves with poison everyday really takes its toll. What do you do? Would you leave someone who was in the middle of the lake drowning or would you do everything you could think of to save them?
Sorry. That hits really close to home.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

little beagle;1537260 wrote: Tess that is the very heart of the matter. Why some have strength to reach out for help but others don't. I live both sides of this issue everyday. Watching someone kill themselves with poison everyday really takes its toll. What do you do? Would you leave someone who was in the middle of the lake drowning or would you do everything you could think of to save them?
Sorry. That hits really close to home.

Lil' Beagle - I would (and am) doing everything I can think of to save them. Why are you sorry? The questions hits ME really close to home too. I nearly died. People around me are dying. So I ask the question: why are some people able to stop drinking while others cannot? I need to know so that I am in a better position to provide help.

Big congrats on 90 AF Days!! I am very happy for you!!!

[Scarlett1946]

Newbies Nest

Oh my goodness, I just had a bit of a shock! I have not had a chance to read any posts yet today.... So I hope you are all doing well... I will read in a bit.

I just got a book about how Elizabeth Taylor lost weight AND quit drinking from the library. Obviously I am interested in both of these things. I started reading it and a bookmark fell out of it, and I actually got goosebumps because it is the serenity prayer that I always read when I am overwhelmed, especially when I am feeling torn up by not being able to quit drinking. I am not a religious person, I have great trouble knowing what to believe..... But there are definitely quotes and psalms that I know to be important and helpful to me, be it from the bible or from Buddha or Hinduism.... I feel like there is some kind of meaning that this one important prayer literally fell into my lap during a time when I am struggling so hard that I cannot think straight!!

That is all...... Now I will go read about how all of you are doing. I already feel like I have friends here.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1537216 wrote:

And this is my question. I was able to stop drinking. I had a sunrise to sunset addiction for five years. I spent time in the hospital. I spent time on a bridge contemplating suicide in the wee hours of the morning. I was a very sick gal. But I was able to stop drinking once I had a shred of hope and a few people to cheer me on. So here, finally, is my question: why are some people able to quit drinking while others drink unto death? Why??

Hi Tess,

My take on this is based on my experience and that is......I was a 24/7 drinker, and for many years i didn't care if i lived or died. A robber could've pointed a gun at me and i would've said 'sorry buddy, you're not getting my drinking money, go ahead and pull the trigger cause i don't care' and keep walking. I never got to the point where i wanted to take my own life, thankfully (i am so glad you are still with us Tess!). I remember thinking to myself (now and then) throughout the hell....'you'll be ok G-man' as there was always this small pilot light flickering away, not yet extinguished, which was my spirit. It was likely still just alight because i remembered i had achieved great things in my life before, so i knew i was capable of more than this.

I know that some/many people have been raised being told they are worthless, day in day out, and then have this perception reinforced through negative relationships throughout their life. If that person's biological makeup is geared towards addiction and their self esteem has taken so much of a battering, coupled with the negative, depressive qualities of AL, and the environment often associated with boozing, that all hope is seemingly extinguished, or buried so deeply underneath the rubble and daily hell/stress, then Houston, we have a problem. Add to this that when we're in the grip of AL, we aren't seeing or thinking clearly at all, and all of our thoughts are likely to have a very negative slant. I understand how people lose their sense of self worth and self care and choose that road to oblivion, knowing it will lead to death, not seeing a reason to not do that and live. As we know it takes some solid commitment, and often a few weeks of sober time before we even begin to think more clearly.

Having said all that. I know there is always hope, and there is always a way out. For me, my only way out is through. But only i can be the Captain of my destiny.

Little Beagle! Hey, congratulations on 90 days friend! :goodjob: :l

Take it easy y'all. Kick some arse in yer own inimitable way. :h

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Hi Scarlett,

Nice one.

The serenity prayer is a pearler to be sure.

A sign? Absolutely. Have a great weekend reading.

[Scarlett1946]

Newbies Nest

I wish I knew why some people have strength and some don't....

I do not feel strong when it comes to drinking, but here I am, 20 years in to it hardcore and I am still ticking. Sometimes I think it is because I am so needed, my husband would not be able to figure out how to do all that I do.... But that is probably me being big headed, maybe. Maybe it is because I drink well over a gallon of water a day? Maybe because I have different genes? Maybe because of whatever I am doing differently?! Anyone see the Andromeda Strain? Movie by Michael Crichton. Everyone dies but a few and one that lives is because he is a total lush and the virus can't kill him because he has too much alcohol in his system. Who knows?. George burns smoked cigars like they were going out of style and lived into his 90's, but my boss smoked for a couple years and has throat cancer. I don't even know what I am typing all this for..... I had a purpose a few minutes ago, but forgot!

Sorry..... Who knows why things only affect some of us.....?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Scarlett

I'm glad you are ok now but this is a progressive disease. Further, some of the metabolic consequences are not felt by the afflicted person. The fatty liver that leads to cirrhosis is not detectable without testing. Other effects are so gradual, it is not obvious that changes have occurred - for example, the weakening of your heart muscle.

There is no reason to wait for a serious illness or another type of "rock-bottom" before you take control of your life and quit drinking.

Be one of the fortunate ones who gets free before an unbearable price is paid. Anyone here by default knows they have a problem with alcohol so we should each ask ourselves what in the hell we are waiting for.

[Scarlett1946]

Newbies Nest

Guitarista, that is one of the few Aussie slang words that I know! Yes, it was a pearler, for sure!

(I feel so worldly.... )

Tomorrow I bring both my boys to Boy Scout camp.... I am gonna miss them so much. I will be happy if they come home to a sober mama. I think they will! My oldest has been so helpful to me. He understands a hundred times more than his dad how I feel. I need to be a sober mama for them, and myself.