Newbies Nest

[SoberSoul]

Newbies Nest

Hey Witts End, congratulations on sixty days. That is a major accomplishment in my books. Hope to be you in 59 days or so. :-)

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Sober Soul Welcome!!

Hey there fellow Canuck welcome! Fresh start and a new resolve. Add a few friends into the mix and you're golden!!:welcome:

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

SoberSoul, I just posted on your thread that you might want to come here and here you are already . Stay close, ok? This is the best place to stay on track and get this done!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Great job, WittsEnd!

I love seeing your encouraging posts all over MWO. We are so lucky you are here :l.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Night night nesters!

I just don't know what I'd do without you all, thank you so much for being in my life. I know I wouldn't ever have come this far alone. Sleep well and talk to you all tomorrow!!

:bedtime:

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

WittsEnd
well done on 60 days. Here's hoping for many more.
Sam

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Welcome SoberSoul!! We are delighted to have you with us, despair and all. No worries!! We have all had our share of despair. But this is a place of hope and encouragement and safety. Settle in and get comfy. Day One can be hellish. You are surrounded by folks who have had plenty of tries at Day One. We eventually get onto Day Two and, before you know it, Day Seven -- which is cause for celebration!! Happy that you are here. Let us know how we can help. :butterfly:

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Checking in to say good night. My chicken palace is almost complete. Can't wait to get these hens out of our house. They are in 2 large watermelon boxes and take up a lot of room in our small abode. It was a fun project, just did it at the hottest part of summer. I found my substitute for my beer thirst was seltzer water, I guess for me it's all about the carbonation thingy. Anyway it worked and it weren't too bad with a twist of lemon.

Welcome there SoberSoul, glad you are here.
Sam

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hey Samstone, can you share a photo when you're done? I'd love to see what you've crafted!

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in, can't seem to keep up with everyone.
Some incredibly philosophical and meaningful posts the week. Some of you blow me away, especially you Tess, with all you're going through. Not to leave 3J, Lav, Byrdie, No-S, SS, Neddy and g-man unmentioned. ( Yes, I sure I left someone out here, like I said can't keep up)
Neddy, It must have felt fantastic to have your daughter mention how great you look. I hope that will carry you through another week or two, at least until the exercise hangover abates!
Congrats to LB on 90 days!, Witts on 60, and JDG on 30, great job all!
Here's to the exercise thing, it's working for me keeps me busy, keeps the cravings down, and no desire for al afterwards, as I'm chugging water. Makes me eat as well, the other big key key.
The bonus is, I'm spending way more time with my wife, who has joined me on bike rides and swims.
Out of the blue, she announces a 10 day alcohol free challenge. She too, is a drinker, but not anywhere near what I usually (used) to put away. Even though I haven't told her I was trying to quit, she can tell I've cut way back.
Of course I haven't brought it up, because then I'd be accountable, LOL, and she's not near as forgiving as those here in the nest.
She's away for a week and then she wants to start. Planning to get a jump start on things this week. I'll be in touch. Great to have a partner at home in this.
And yes, I'll be coming clean with my intentions, lest she thinks I'm stepping out with y'all as JDG says.

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Tess....I've been thinking about your question on why some people end up quitting and others will go on until the bitter end. I think it comes down to acceptance.

Tonight I watched a documentary on teens coming to terms with being gay. They went through hell trying to be "normal". Trying to be like everyone else. Until they came to terms with being gay, stopped trying to be normal, put away the shame they felt and accepted themselves for who they were.....then they could go on to live a life of peace and joy. And yes this was their normal.

I don't think being gay or an alkie is the same. But I could see the similarities of what these kids went through in myself.

I think I was destined to be an alcoholic. It was in my genes and I was prone to becoming one....with the very first drink I took. It did not happen overnight....but I was destined to like the buzz too much. However I fought to be a normal drinker....like the other 90 percent of the population. It was not until I truly accepted that I was an alcoholic and always will be one.....that it will never change....that I could accept that I can not ever have a drink again. It is part of who I am. It is human nature to want to be like everyone especially when we view something in us is flawed.

I can give a list of all the reasons I drank. But the truth is simple. I am an alcoholic. I used it to cope....because when I was supposed to be learning to cope...I was drunk. Because I was drunk....I could not learn to cope.

It is sad that society puts a negative label on us. In some regards being "different" is viewed as a positive. But not when it comes to alcohol. Regardless of where we find help....it's usually done in secret...anonymously. Even in recovery we are encouraged to keep the secret.

Me wishing I could be a normal drinker is a complete waste of time. I might as well wish I was taller. It just ain't gonna happen. Acceptance that I am an alcoholic and coming to terms with it.

I wasn't in denial all those years....I knew.....it took me way too long to accept it as my normal.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters!

Just thought I'd pop in early to wish you all the very best for your day/evening.

Sobersoul - great to see you here with us. Get some butt Velcro and get ready for fun, advice, support and friendship. Just don't let anyone offer to rub mentholatum on your butt (unless they have washed their hands and promise not to tickle!)

Mr Vervill - Yip, it was really good to hear that from my daughter. Even more wonderful was the fact that she did not have that look of disappointment she usually has when we meet. I have another daughter who hasn't spoken to me for four years and a grandson who is now three who I have never seen because of my alcoholism. I firmly believe, though, that I will have my family restored unto me now that I am getting in control my demons. I know it's still early days, but each day that passes gives me more strength, more confidence, more determination that I can beat this thing and live the life that was intended for me.

Sunflower - your philosophical outlook on the vicious circle that is alcoholism resonates with me profoundly and fits my makeup and experience precisely.

To everyone in the nest, my very best wishes and my thanks and gratitude to you all for helping me get back on the road to where I rightfully should be.

Neddy x

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Thanks SunFlower for all of the thought that you have put into my question: Why are some people able to accept help and stop drinking while others are not. I appreciate you taking the time to write your thoughts out so clearly. I agree that acceptance of the reality that we are alcoholics goes a long way toward helping us to seek and accept help. After all, if (in our minds) we are NOT alcoholics, then we don't need help, right? If there's not a problem, there's certainly no need for a solution.

I was not long into my drinking career (just a few short months) when I became aware that a problem was developing. I discovered that beer wasn't really doing a lot to help with my anxiety. So it made sense to stop drinking. I also discovered that I still wanted to drink beer. This was the beginning of the "alcoholic split" (as I define it) between wanting to stop drinking and not wanting to stop drinking.

I was so troubled about this split in myself that I feared right away I was becoming an alcoholic. Having grown up in a somewhat protective family I didn't have any direct exposure to alcoholism, so my experience was very limited. I went straight to Hubs (this was long before the hiding, lying, shame had set in) and told him that I was afraid I was becoming an alcoholic and maybe I should go to AA or something. (I new nothing about AA except that it existed.) Hubs laughed my concern off. "You an alcoholic?? I don't think so, Tess. You don't even know what an alcoholic is." Hubs definitely did not want me to go to AA because he thought I was being silly about having alcoholism and he thought there might be some unsavory folks there who could take advantage of me.

Well, as the saying goes, the rest is history. I went on to become completely enmeshed in alcohol. It totally took over my young life for five years.

Based on what others have told me, it was unusual for me to recognize and accept very early on that I was an alcoholic. It's not unusual for even late-stage alcoholics to deny that they do in fact have an illness named alcoholism. Maybe it was my willingness to accept the truth about my illness that enabled me to accept help, once I found a safe place that was offering help!!

There is such a terrible, terrible stigma with alcoholism. We are shunned like the people of old who had leprosy. Many of us go to great lengths to keep our drinking a secret. And as you say, even the treatments are kept secret. Why? Because we don't want to be labeled and judged. I don't know about you, but I just want to be loved. We also don't want to stop drinking.

I am learning that there are many facets to seeking help, accepting help, being able and willing to live through the pain of recovery, and learning to live a new life without alcohol.

Thanks again for your insights. I'm getting this puzzle put together!!

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Is everyone up for Monday morning? I used to hate them when I was drinking, not anymore. NS, Lav, Sam, 3J, Tess, Neddy, Sun, Mr V, Witt's JDG, I hope you are all feeling great this morning (as well as anyone else I might have missed!)

For the record, my Dad was an alcoholic, and all of my siblings had problems with it. Two are dead, and my remaining sister also has a problem. My light in the tunnel is that my Dad stopped successfully in his early fifties and lived another 20 odd years as a sober man, a happy positive wonderful sober man who was a shining light to his family once he stopped. I hope I can follow in his footsteps

Love to you all this happy Monday morning :h

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Hello Guys, Just checking in to say hi. Its been a very busy and somewhat stressful day. So I think I might have an early night Its 8.00pm in Oz. Hope you are all doing well. Catch up tomorrow