Newbies Nest

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

broken halo;1537720 wrote: Good morning Nesters!

Is everyone up for Monday morning? I used to hate them when I was drinking, not anymore. NS, Lav, Sam, 3J, Tess, Neddy, Sun, Mr V, Witt's JDG, I hope you are all feeling great this morning (as well as anyone else I might have missed!)

For the record, my Dad was an alcoholic, and all of my siblings had problems with it. Two are dead, and my remaining sister also has a problem. My light in the tunnel is that my Dad stopped successfully in his early fifties and lived another 20 odd years as a sober man, a happy positive wonderful sober man who was a shining light to his family once he stopped. I hope I can follow in his footsteps

Love to you all this happy Monday morning :h

Hi BH, Yes I'm ready for Monday. It's so good to wake up and feel like a real person and not something that has crawled out from under a stone. I'm really really enjoying being sober and I have a plan in place to keep myself that way for the next few weeks - mainly avoiding people and places that could endanger these great feelings I have and filling up my time with positive things to do.

Isn't it strange how our backgrounds are all different. No one in my family is much of a drinker (except for one uncle that I have, but he was not playing in the big leagues like I was) and my mother (who is teetotal) used to look at me as if there had been a mix-up at the hospital!
I love your word choice to describe your dad: "happy, positive, wonderful" and a "shining light." I hope that these are words that people will apply to me in the future. If they did I would be so proud and so pleased.

Have a great day

Neddy

[Kairos]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
I'm back after some time away. I had about three months sobriety last time and as usual this seems to be time for me to think I can have a few, no problems.
But, no attempts are ever wasted- this is day one again, so here I go, hopefully to keep it up this time.
K

[Readinglady]

Newbies Nest

Thank you very much for the excellent analogy or explain the need for acceptance of our basic natures The Sun Flower. It is so true that the need to accept that I am an alcoholic and always will be is a key part of my recovery. And it always will be.......

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

Hello to everyone & welcome back Kairos - what's your plan?
Learning to ignore that lying voice has to be top priority for all of us! Having just one or two is a problem for the majority of us

Sam, we would love to see your new chicken house! I know what it's like raising the little ones in a refrigerator box in the garage :H

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Neddy Merrill;1537760 wrote:
I love your word choice to describe your dad: "happy, positive, wonderful" and a "shining light." I hope that these are words that people will apply to me in the future. If they did I would be so proud and so pleased.

Neddy

Those words already describe the Neddy we know on MWO .

It is great that your plans are in place for the next few weeks - planning to succeed, not just hoping, makes all the difference.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all. Well I made it through another tough weekend. I never would remain af if it wasn't for You my friends.
I have a somewhat different view on why some people can get help and quit drinking while others can't.
I think it has to do with the inner child and how strong (for lack of better word) it is. Some people just don't develop self discipline. Is it because they don't hear the word no as children? Maybe. But we have to emotionally mature in order for our inner adult to be able to make those tough decisions.
Drinking in hubby's family starts early. Stories of one relation drinking his mini beers while in diapers is still laughed about. I assure you I do not find that humorous, only sad. He has been in and out of jail so much. Alcohol related. People are still laughing over his antics. Not me. He will never grow up is what everyone says.
How can he?
If the inner adult never develops, we cannot make mature decisions.
I know very ramble post but I hope I explained my opinion.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Wits end, congratulations on your 60 days.

Kairos, welcome back. It's good to see you again! I was recently reading on another website about the tactics for staying AF, thriving in recovery, being different from the tactics we initially use to get sober.

Tess, I always enjoy reading your thoughts. I too had a feeling early on that I was headed for trouble. I knew I had a real problem for a long time before I did anything about it. I appreciate the fact that you are putting in some work in the form of trying to figure out what hell happened.

Everybody here has proved that they can just not drink at will. Just keep repeating that no matter what. Don't get wrapped up in the thoughts, just don't drink once you've made that decision. No buts!

Have a great AF day friends!

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Neddy I was estranged from my daughter due to my drinking also. We are making up for lost time now. She is very proud of me not only quitting al but getting the help I need to live a happy, sober life. Happy is the key here. Being happy not drinking will keep you af. Being miserable only makes you feel deprived as Allen Carr says.
Sam glad you will have your space back.
Bhalo You are doing great.
Are you having same nice time off work 3J?
Have a good af one all.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all
NS and Lav, once I figure out how to do the computer thing of loading, I'll be glad to show you the shanty. It really is nothing more than a shed, but it had been so long since I've built anything, seemed like I was building forever. And I require lots of lumber for my mistakes.

Lav, do you do the chicken tractor thing? I built a temporary cage to get these gals out during the day and I am beginning to think along those lines.

One thing I find interesting reading these posts is the obvious time difference between the states and across the big pond. I like it. Keeps me aware of places I've never been to, wondering what there like, and at least enjoying some connection with folks outside of my little sphere.

On another note, one thing I think is for sure on the alcoholism, the whole point was to get a buzz. I remember oh so well at the age of 13 absconding with a bottle of vodka with a friend with the sole intent of getting messed up. I'm 58 now and after many quits I'm planning on this being the one. Is it a disease? I'm not qualified to say. I never really tried to hide my drinking because one listen to the verbage coming out of my mouth was enough to clue anybody. I can only say that when I start I don't stop. The "disease" thing always perked my interest, tell the truth. I was never able to put my finger on that one. I just know that some can and some can't. I often wondered about it in the same light as smoking, but there is a definitive element to that addiction. Part of what drew me into MWO was the drug related aspect of moderating. Altering the desire to drink. Certainly there is a "fooling" of the mind somehow. (I really don't what I'm writing about. I just gots my questions.) I never tried them because I figured that what the hell, another substance running around in system, I'm better off just quitting.

Looks like a glorious day here on the east coast. Well wishes to all dear friends.
Sam

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1537792 wrote: Those words already describe the Neddy we know on MWO .

It is great that your plans are in place for the next few weeks - planning to succeed, not just hoping, makes all the difference.

NoSugar, that's such a lovely thing to say and such a lovely thing to hear. Thank you.

LB - glad to hear about you and your daughter and it gives me even more encouragement that I can turn things around. Thanks for letting me know about that.

Reading Lady - Welcome! You are in a good place here with very many wonderful people who will try their very best to help you on your journey.

Kairos - welcome back and I look forward to getting to know you.

Samstone - like you I drank for the sole reason to get out of it and when I started I couldn't stop. The logic is easy so most people would think, but they don't really understand the complexity of each individual brain and it's experience.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day Neddy

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Wow! looks like I have missed a lot. I was in bed all day yesterday with a miagraine, (not AL induced).

That used to be my "hide it excuse". Not anymore.

Enjoyed reading all the latest posts. You guys are awesome! Good to see new and returning nestmates. Hang in there peeps its a rocky start but very soon the waters smooth out and life is so good.

gotta shower, work today, check in later
JDG

[Caz 22]

Newbies Nest

AHHH, I just lost my elaborate post regarding my 30 day AF.

Here are some bullet points..
1. No AL in house ( hubby still has a couple of glasses at weekend but all booze is gone by Monday )
2. Spending my money on different things, shoes,nice skin cream, manicures.
3.Exercise, i am losing weight, this is a huge deal for me.
4.Planning every social occasion, filling up my own glass/ cup ( fizzy water or soda and cranberry )
5.Reading posts everyday on this site,everyone is so supportive of each other, I wouldn't be at day 30 without the support of people on this site.

30 days AF is not the destination, just a milestone on the journey.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, All!
SunFlo, what a great post about acceptance! And Tess, your elaboration on that thought was spot on, (IMO). Until I accepted in my own mind that I am an ALK, I couldn't begin the process of recovery. I've heard 1000 times people saying, 'but I hate labels like that'. Well, then you are a label-hater :H.....ehehe.....It's not so much a label as it is a diagnosis. Once you realize what you have, you can set about to fix it. As Tess said, why treat what you don't have? In many a PM, I have reached around and asked folks who continuously start and stop (like I did) if they consider themselves an ALK. The ones who told me 'yes'... eventually go on to 'get it'!!! They set about a Plan to recover. The ones that tell me, 'NO WAY am I an ALK', continue the struggle to this day. Denial and Acceptance are big words in our small world, and for good reason. One is the path to life and the other is a path to self destruction.
Great to see everyone, and some returning faces!! Kairos, Readinglady, Mr. V!!
Stay the course you will never regret it. Do whatever it takes to get sober and stay that way!!! Byrdie

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Caz - congratulations on 30 days AF. A great achievement and your five point plan looks good and seems to be working well for you. I am really pleased for you.

Neddy

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Caz 22;1537819 wrote: AHHH, I just lost my elaborate post regarding my 30 day AF.

Here are some bullet points..
1. No AL in house ( hubby still has a couple of glasses at weekend but all booze is gone by Monday )
2. Spending my money on different things, shoes,nice skin cream, manicures.
3.Exercise, i am losing weight, this is a huge deal for me.
4.Planning every social occasion, filling up my own glass/ cup ( fizzy water or soda and cranberry )
5.Reading posts everyday on this site,everyone is so supportive of each other, I wouldn't be at day 30 without the support of people on this site.

30 days AF is not the destination, just a milestone on the journey.

Caz, thank you for taking the time to post that. Wear your hat :day5:in good health!! (and your new shoes, too!) We are so happy for you! B