Newbies Nest

[SoberSoul]

Newbies Nest

Caz, congratulations on 30 days A/F. You should be a bouncing in that hat in pride and excitement.

Yikes, I am an alcoholic. First time I ever said (or wrote) those words. The reason I never thought of myself as one is because I recognized my drinking problem while I was downing only 3/4 of a bottle of wine or so a day and I figured that was not enough to warrant the label.

But I am because I keep my eye on that damn bottle to make sure I get more than my share. I fight the urge to drink. I say yes when I planned on saying no. I use it for stress, celebration, sadness, dissapointment, a sudden hang nail (LOL), etc.

You guys have written some profound stuff and one thing that jumped out at me was the discipline factor. I am NOT a disciplined person and feel that this has been my stumbling block all along. I do nothing in the same order every day. I may brush my teeth before coffee, after coffee or whenever. I bathe in the morning or at night, either. So I really have to reach deep to find the self-discipline to follow through on this. Admitting I am an alcoholic is huge for me and it unsettles me. But it is the truth.

You guys give me hope that my son, a binge drinking, new father might find his way out in time as he is a very disciplined person who put himself through school (even though he had to take three busses back and forth to university during our robust Canadian winters due to a DUI). Right now he is in denial but trying to cut back which doesn't work. He is the main reason for my sadness right now as I see him ruining his relationship with the mother of his child with his argumentative, asinine, drunken behaviour.

A lot of intelligence, empathy and interesting discussions on this Newbies's Nest. I think I'll stick around.

Thanks, Byrd Lady for pushing me here.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

SoberSoul saying it out loud (here or elsewhere) is the beginning of acceptance and the end of denial. I don't care if we call ourselves alcoholics, problem drinkers, whatever label or name you choose. The key is we know we can't drink like we'd love to be able to. Ever. So once we accept that (and i's a tough break up) we can move ahead and work on a plan to keep it out of our lives.

Have you watched "Rain in my Heart" that's a real eye opener. You can find it on You Tube in 10 instalments. I wonder if you could get your son to watch it?

Glad to have you in the nest!

[Mandiekinz]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, nesters!!! It looks like I have a lot of catching up to do after not being on in a couple of days. I hope everyone's weekend was great and if it wasn't great, then I hope it was mediocre and sober.

I spent Saturday planning to do so much but ended up doing nothing but spend time with my love. Sunday we went out to the woods with our pooch and got some fresh air and a lovely dose of nature. I was 10 yards from a very good sized buck at one point! I also started my Baclofen yesterday. I'm going into this therapy with an open mind. It either helps or it doesn't...either way, it can't possibly make me a worse alcoholic so I figured it's worth a try. To go from drinking a fifth of vodka a day to feeling indifferent to alcohol sounds like a miracle. Let's see if that magic happens. In any case, it should ease the anxiety so I can focus on my steps in recovery. Although, I'll be honest...right now, having a full fifth of vodka in front of me also sounds like a miracle. My mouth is watering this morning. It's so sad that my obsession with alcohol can sometimes lead my thoughts to packing my stuff and leaving all that I love just to go drink without anyone telling me "no". Just me and my liquid lover. Luckily for me, I have no money (not even enough pennies)! So no drinky drinky for me.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello All,

3June - We don't know what we would do in The Nest without you either!! Thanks for all of your care and support!!

Witts - Wow!! 60 AF Days!! That is no small feat. We are tremendously proud of you!!

Mr Vervill - Good going with the exercise and other healthy life changes!! Most of our spouses are not as forgiving as our Fellow Nesters. But our spouses live with us 24/7 and have put up with a bunch of baloney from us!!

Neddy - Aww, a three-year-old grandson. Lovely!! I too believe that your family will be restored unto you. It may take a wee bit of time for trust to be established again. You are setting a wonderful example for your family. Nice work!!

Broken Halo - You ARE following in your Dad's footsteps with your happy positive wonderful sober life. You inspire us!!

Hadit - Great to hear from you!! Turning in early is one of the best things to do after a stressful day, IMHO. Glad to have you back in The Nest!!

Kairos - Welcome back!! We are here for you on Day 1 and for the entire journey to freedom from alcohol. We are all journeying together!!

Readinglady - Welcome!! We are happy that you are here!! I found reading the stories of others and writing about my own story to be tremendously helpful at the beginning of my recovery. It still is!! We look forward to getting to know you better.

Lav - Greetings, Dear Nest Mum!! I hope you have a very nice day!!

NoSuger - Thanks for dropping in. Your pearls of wisdom are always highly cherished. We appreciate you!!

Lil' Beagle - Hello sweet Nest Friend!! I know almost nothing of psychology (except for a couple of required college courses, which taught me next-to-nothing), but what you say about having a healthy inner Adult, Parent, and Child (my paraphrase) goes a long way in the battle against alcohol. If we've been given alcohol to drink while still in diapers, and alcohol abuse is a laughing matter in our childhood home, then we don't have a foundation of love and proper discipline within ourselves. It is something that must be developed later when we finally walk away from alcohol, if we ever are able to. It's a tragedy!! I don't find one thing about alcoholism to be humorous, either. What is funny about a life of pain and a miserable death that often arrives far too soon? Nothing!!

Pine - Hello!! Yes, we all know that we are not able to have a drink or two and then stop. That's one of our biggest problems. The alcoholic brain will lie to us, of course, and tell us to go ahead and have just one drink. If we fall for the lie, we quickly discover again that one drink turned into very many drinks. Our only choice is to avoid alcohol altogether. At first it is very difficult for most of us. But it does get easier and we get happier!!

Sam - I am no expert on alcoholism, not by a long shot!! (But I want to learn more.) I have read several books on the subject and I've read other MWO threads. In a nutshell, I believe that alcoholism is an illness. Something is haywire in the brain. And once we recognize it and accept it, we are then in a position to take active steps to manage it. Sadly, there is a horrible stigma with alcoholism so it is "not okay" to have the illness. I compare and contrast alcoholism with my mother's breast cancer. Everyone is showering her with care and love and compassion because she has a "legitimate" illness. But alcoholism is no less legitimate than cancer. It is real. It causes tremendous and untold suffering. I pray for the day when a person diagnosed with alcoholism receives the same care, compassion, and dedicated treatments as people with other illnesses such as diabetes or hypertension.

JDG - Good to see you!! We will be thinking of you at work today and holding positive thoughts that a better job will come along shortly. You are a gem!!

Caz - Hello!! Love your plan!! Keep reading and posting. We always enjoy hearing from you!!

Byrdie - Happy belated Good Morning to you!!

SoberSoul - Thank you for your post. Prior to falling head first into alcoholism I was a disciplined gal. (I perhaps had a touch of OCD - LOL!!) As I sunk further and further into daily intoxication, discipline went out the window. Yes, I completed all of my studies (I was a student) but it was done in a haphazard way. I find that a sense of order is coming back to my life now that I've been sober a while. From what I've seen, SoberSoul, ALL personality types can learn ways to manage their problem with alcohol. I am delighted that you have joined us today. Together, we can get this done!!

Rooni - Welcome back to you, too!! You and Kairos can be awesome support Nest Buddies. People who start Day 1 on the same day have a special ability to cheer each other on. Starting over takes courage. Way to go!!

Mandiekinz - Happy to hear that you had a good weekend. You are so articulate in your description of a fifth of vodka being your liquid lover. And how part of you wants to run away and drink without interruption from someone who cares about you. I know the feeling very well. I think we all know the feeling. You know too that your liquid lover is outright abusive and will not hesitate to harm you given half a chance. You know that!! You have been through the cycle of regret, shame, sickness, and loss many times. I am thrilled that you have no money, not even enough pennies, to go out and buy vodka. (I remember well the days of digging for pennies.) I sincerely hope the baclofen supports you while you recover. Stay strong, my friend!! Post if you feel an overwhelming urge to drink. Fellow Nesters and Wise Birds will swoop in to give you a hug and some much needed encouragement.

ALL Nesters near and far, thank you for journeying along with us. Every single one is important and has much to offer. You are loved. ~

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

This is a previous post from Steady. We haven't heard from her for a while.

STEADFAST;1526087 wrote: Hi, Nesters.

Well done all those racking up the days, and welcome to all newbies!

It's actually hard for me to be posting today; have been grumpy and weird all weekend. I think going to the pub Friday night (and not drinking Al), while I'm pleased to be still on track, the pub visit took more out of me than i realised. I must have pushed my psyche to the limits by hanging around people drinking Al for a couple of hours. Wont be doing that again in a hurry. I guess this weirdness will pass, just gotta count the blessings of being AF.
Actually, i am realising i feel a little better, just for writing the previous paragraph.
There're some great posts here from the past few days, THANKYOU everyone.

And STAY CLOSE,
love, Steady
:h

Dear Steady - I check The Nest every day to see if you are here. I miss you very much. We all miss you. We are saving your place. No one else can fill it. We all get grumpy and weird at times. And sometimes life is unmerciful and outrageously painful. It really sucks!! But things are a tad easier when we hang together. So... I will continue to look for you. Not gonna give up. :huggy

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day 1 - dammit. Just came off my "birthday bender." So sick of this crap. I just popped an antabuse, and I intend to keep popping them every day for as long as it takes to stop this nonsense. I just posted post-its around my house to remind me of how bad things are when I drink. I have made some very stupid decisions over the past few days. I've also spent a crapload of money on bar tabs and tips. WHAT A WASTE!

I am so done with this lifestyle - or should I say "deathstyle."

Kairos - you are also on Day 1. Let's do this together! Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :l

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Posted by halo a few days ago:

halo;1536234 wrote: The nest is the best place to be, the place I miss the most with no internet access at the cottage! Could care less about facebook, I miss the MWO! Just wanted to say hello and give a big congrats to No Sugar on 6 months!! That is awesome... :goodjob: :l

Dear halo, Like you, I could not care less about Facebook. It holds no interest for me. But I love the MWO website because it has brought hope and healing into my life. Thank you for cheering me on during my six-month AF celebration!! I tend to shy away from parties and celebrations in general. But halo, you wrote something that is very endearing: that I am Tess in The Nest. It means a great deal to me!! Hey, I may add it to my signature line!! Anyway, halo, thinking of you and hoping that you are well. ~

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Rooniferd! It's great to see you again. Crap is exactly what it is! When single called yeast consume sugar (which is no good for us), they crap out alcohol. Then beautiful, intelligent highly developed humans consume this crap and it ruins our lives. We are capable of and deserve so much more than this unfunny biological joke.

Caz congratulations on your 30 days! You snuck that one in, but if you can would you post a bit about how YOU got there?

Welcome sobersoul. It takes some real guts to say the truth, and I admire you for it.

So many great posts today. Thank you all for being here.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1537894 wrote: Posted by halo a few days ago:



Dear halo, Like you, I could not care less about Facebook. It holds no interest for me. But I love the MWO website because it has brought hope and healing into my life. Thank you for cheering me on during my six-month AF celebration!! I tend to shy away from parties and celebrations in general. But halo, you wrote something that is very endearing: that I am Tess in The Nest. It means a great deal to me!! Hey, I may add it to my signature line!! Anyway, halo, thinking of you and hoping that you are well. ~

Good evening Folks,

Like you Tess and you Halo, I have no real interest in Facebook - maybe we should start "Off Your Facebook" where we could post pictures of people out their minds with AL to remind us of how bad things can be? Seriously though, MWO is the place to be for me at this point in my life. Health, healing, restoration and wellbeing are beginning to flow through my body and I am so grateful to all you guys who have given me a helping hand.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Evening everyone

Caz, well done on 30 days that's amazing!:thumbs:

Sobersoul, Kairos, Rooniferd, this is a great place, so glad you have joined us :welcome:

There has been a lot of activity in the Nest since I left this morning! Had a busy day, busy but good! Neddy, Tess, thanks for the kind words. When I think of my Dad, I always think of him sober and strong. I can remember him being drunk but that's not what stands out. His sobriety, his attitude, his happiness, these are what I remember.

Isn't it amazing that we all have the chance to change things for ourselves and the people around us? To change how they think about us and how they will ultimately remember us?

Neddy, your family will be so proud of you, and I am sure that once you prove what a loving, caring, sober father and grandfather you are, you will be reunited.

I am so thankful for this place and for all of you. I hope everyone's Monday is going wonderfully! :h

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone;1537899 wrote: Hi Rooniferd! It's great to see you again. Crap is exactly what it is! When single called yeast consume sugar (which is no good for us), they crap out alcohol. Then beautiful, intelligent highly developed humans consume this crap and it ruins our lives. We are capable of and deserve so much more than this unfunny biological joke. .

NO WONDER I DON'T EAT SUGAR :H:H:H! Great imagery, Pinecone. A glass of Aged Yeast Excrement really is not too appealing...

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

broken halo;1537908 wrote: Evening everyone

Caz, well done on 30 days that's amazing!:thumbs:

Sobersoul, Kairos, Rooniferd, this is a great place, so glad you have joined us :welcome:

There has been a lot of activity in the Nest since I left this morning! Had a busy day, busy but good! Neddy, Tess, thanks for the kind words. When I think of my Dad, I always think of him sober and strong. I can remember him being drunk but that's not what stands out. His sobriety, his attitude, his happiness, these are what I remember.

Isn't it amazing that we all have the chance to change things for ourselves and the people around us? To change how they think about us and how they will ultimately remember us?


Neddy, your family will be so proud of you, and I am sure that once you prove what a loving, caring, sober father and grandfather you are, you will be reunited.

I am so thankful for this place and for all of you. I hope everyone's Monday is going wonderfully! :h

Hi Broken Halo, Thank you for your kind words. You are absolutely right about the chance to change things and it is an opportunity I want to grab with both hands. I want to be remembered for all my good qualities and not for what I become when AL strips them away from me.

I hope work was good today and that you managed to get to go to the gym afterwards.

Neddy

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Neddy. Work was very good and I did get to the gym but was a lot easier on myself than yesterday. I don't want to overdo it because I really don't want to risk an injury, that would be a disaster! I rowed, used the cross trainer and did a bit of running but not too much. Have to watch the old joints! :H

What about you, did you manage a wee run or was the grey hoodie put back in the wardrobe for another day?

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Oh no, I went and it was so good I've signed up for Neddy Balboa, in which I am an alcoholic making a comeback to the real world.

Going to watch a wee bit of TV now, have a bath and then check in here to wish everyone good night.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

I am off to watch tv too, Modern Family! It makes me :H

I'll check in later folks, be well everyone