Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Tess,

Just as the volume doesn't really matter, neither does the duration. We each have been in our personal hell. What's important is that we are helping one another out. :l NS

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Tess....I probably read it wrong. Maybe it was just what was going on in my wee brain.

Brydie...."I'd buy stock in it"....made me laugh and cringe at the same time. The odds would be overwhelming in your favor....so I bet the ROI would be low.

Neddy....it's not selfish at all. Afterall you get to spend 24/7 with yourself.

A few weeks ago I was at a recovery meeting where a woman 20 years my senior was just starting out. My first thought was "dang she got to drink 20 years longer than me". Within milliseconds I cringed. I could not have suffered another 20.....and most likely would never have survived.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

I'm agreeing with nosugar on this. It's the helping each other along the path that counts.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Popping in quickly to say hello and goodnight nesters. Looks like I've missed some good discussions I'll try to catch up tomorrow. I was talking to my son today about how do you know if you have a problem. I said I think you just know. Deep down. It's a matter of being honest with yourself. There are lots of quizzes ( I kept checking them and trying to convince myself I didn't fit the criteria) where they say one yes answer means you may have a problem. I'd be all like well I don't drink in the morning and I don't black out. I'm not in financial trouble. But I drank every day pretty much ( except when I was pregnant) for about 40 years. When I was younger I did a whole bunch of drugs and engaged in very risky behavior. Still I tried and tried to moderate. I called them phases, expecting them to pass. Can you say denial?

I am nearly two months AF for the first time in 40 years. What made me quit? I think it might have been reading the posts here of all the quitters who sounded so happy and healthy!

If I can do it you can do it. If you're lurking and thinking about it, put one toe in the water. Quit for one day. Then try a foot, your leg, a week, a month, next thing you know you'll be splashing about like a pro!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all Nesters

Great discussions here today!
June, I have to agree & add that quitting is entirely possible when we finally stop BS-ing ourselves!
Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

Sam, my hens reside in a comfy Amish built shed - spoiled, right? :H
We did section it in half (so they only have half of the building), built in nest boxes & a roost. The Amish guy installed a hatch opening since he knew we were going to be keeping chickens. They can go out into their fenced yard when they like. Of course there's not a blade of grass left in their yard after 9 years so we have to toss clippings & weeds in for them to peck on. I think the idea of the tractor moving the house around is very cool

Wishing everyone a comfy AF night in the nest.
Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1537868 wrote: Hello All,

3June - We don't know what we would do in The Nest without you either!! Thanks for all of your care and support!!

Witts - Wow!! 60 AF Days!! That is no small feat. We are tremendously proud of you!!

Mr Vervill - Good going with the exercise and other healthy life changes!! Most of our spouses are not as forgiving as our Fellow Nesters. But our spouses live with us 24/7 and have put up with a bunch of baloney from us!!

Neddy - Aww, a three-year-old grandson. Lovely!! I too believe that your family will be restored unto you. It may take a wee bit of time for trust to be established again. You are setting a wonderful example for your family. Nice work!!

Broken Halo - You ARE following in your Dad's footsteps with your happy positive wonderful sober life. You inspire us!!

Hadit - Great to hear from you!! Turning in early is one of the best things to do after a stressful day, IMHO. Glad to have you back in The Nest!!

Kairos - Welcome back!! We are here for you on Day 1 and for the entire journey to freedom from alcohol. We are all journeying together!!

Readinglady - Welcome!! We are happy that you are here!! I found reading the stories of others and writing about my own story to be tremendously helpful at the beginning of my recovery. It still is!! We look forward to getting to know you better.

Lav - Greetings, Dear Nest Mum!! I hope you have a very nice day!!

NoSuger - Thanks for dropping in. Your pearls of wisdom are always highly cherished. We appreciate you!!

Lil' Beagle - Hello sweet Nest Friend!! I know almost nothing of psychology (except for a couple of required college courses, which taught me next-to-nothing), but what you say about having a healthy inner Adult, Parent, and Child (my paraphrase) goes a long way in the battle against alcohol. If we've been given alcohol to drink while still in diapers, and alcohol abuse is a laughing matter in our childhood home, then we don't have a foundation of love and proper discipline within ourselves. It is something that must be developed later when we finally walk away from alcohol, if we ever are able to. It's a tragedy!! I don't find one thing about alcoholism to be humorous, either. What is funny about a life of pain and a miserable death that often arrives far too soon? Nothing!!

Pine - Hello!! Yes, we all know that we are not able to have a drink or two and then stop. That's one of our biggest problems. The alcoholic brain will lie to us, of course, and tell us to go ahead and have just one drink. If we fall for the lie, we quickly discover again that one drink turned into very many drinks. Our only choice is to avoid alcohol altogether. At first it is very difficult for most of us. But it does get easier and we get happier!!

Sam - I am no expert on alcoholism, not by a long shot!! (But I want to learn more.) I have read several books on the subject and I've read other MWO threads. In a nutshell, I believe that alcoholism is an illness. Something is haywire in the brain. And once we recognize it and accept it, we are then in a position to take active steps to manage it. Sadly, there is a horrible stigma with alcoholism so it is "not okay" to have the illness. I compare and contrast alcoholism with my mother's breast cancer. Everyone is showering her with care and love and compassion because she has a "legitimate" illness. But alcoholism is no less legitimate than cancer. It is real. It causes tremendous and untold suffering. I pray for the day when a person diagnosed with alcoholism receives the same care, compassion, and dedicated treatments as people with other illnesses such as diabetes or hypertension.

JDG - Good to see you!! We will be thinking of you at work today and holding positive thoughts that a better job will come along shortly. You are a gem!!

Caz - Hello!! Love your plan!! Keep reading and posting. We always enjoy hearing from you!!

Byrdie - Happy belated Good Morning to you!!

SoberSoul - Thank you for your post. Prior to falling head first into alcoholism I was a disciplined gal. (I perhaps had a touch of OCD - LOL!!) As I sunk further and further into daily intoxication, discipline went out the window. Yes, I completed all of my studies (I was a student) but it was done in a haphazard way. I find that a sense of order is coming back to my life now that I've been sober a while. From what I've seen, SoberSoul, ALL personality types can learn ways to manage their problem with alcohol. I am delighted that you have joined us today. Together, we can get this done!!

Rooni - Welcome back to you, too!! You and Kairos can be awesome support Nest Buddies. People who start Day 1 on the same day have a special ability to cheer each other on. Starting over takes courage. Way to go!!

Mandiekinz - Happy to hear that you had a good weekend. You are so articulate in your description of a fifth of vodka being your liquid lover. And how part of you wants to run away and drink without interruption from someone who cares about you. I know the feeling very well. I think we all know the feeling. You know too that your liquid lover is outright abusive and will not hesitate to harm you given half a chance. You know that!! You have been through the cycle of regret, shame, sickness, and loss many times. I am thrilled that you have no money, not even enough pennies, to go out and buy vodka. (I remember well the days of digging for pennies.) I sincerely hope the baclofen supports you while you recover. Stay strong, my friend!! Post if you feel an overwhelming urge to drink. Fellow Nesters and Wise Birds will swoop in to give you a hug and some much needed encouragement.

ALL Nesters near and far, thank you for journeying along with us. Every single one is important and has much to offer. You are loved. ~


Tess
hope you did not think I was implying that you were "an expert". I often kinda think/ramble aloud to myself as your post did get me thinking. For once I put it out there for others to see. I have battled this thing for sometime, tried AA, self help books, and all that kind of thing, and the bottom line is, for me, I gotta quit, and never look back. The heck with the stuff, it's out to kill me, it's poison, it ain't my friend.
That's my plan this time.
Best
Sam

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Caz
better late than never:
Well Done!!

Sam

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Tess in the nest, thank you, for all you your inspiration, your cogent thoughts, and continuing help for the rest of us trying to piece everything together. Ditto to Byrdie and Lav. That's why we come to the nest.
Kairos, Love the name. Yes, this is the time. You must push on through. G-man should love the name as well. As he says, the the only way to fight it, is to push on through.

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters,

It is a nice bright morning here in the west coast of Scotland and I have been out jogging this morning as I continue to regain the life that is rightfully mine.

Witts End - I believe that a number of us do suffer from an allergy to alcohol. A famous Scottish allergist recently died and there was a tribute to him on TV. In an interview he said that one of the classic symptoms of an allergy is that when the allergen enters the body there is a feeling of dread that often develops to a feeling of impending doom and death. That's what I was like with alcohol when I had overdosed (which was a very regular occurrence and as I sit here typing this I am thinking you stupid stupid man Neddy. Why did you put yourself through this for so long?)

NS - with you on the time scale. I drank ferociously for almost 30 years and, in retrospect, one year of that level of abuse was too buch in terms of what it did to me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I wouldn't advise or wish anyone to do that to themselves.

SF - your reaction is probably fairly typical of alcoholics I suppose. Last night watching TV characters on the programme were drinking wine and I thought, how nice! how civilised! how good that looks! If I run I'll just make the shop. No! That's absolute madness. The madness of the alcoholic as I know exactly what would have happened. I'd have chugged that wine, gone to the pub, gone to a night club and be lying ill and disgusted with myself. Instead I am typing out messages to my new friends and loving piecing my fractured life back together. It will take time, but I'm worth it.

3J - denial has been one of my key words. Now it's been replaced by realisation, acceptance, and willingness.

Mr V - keep up the good fight.

Have a great day one and all.

"I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone Well it's morning here in the UK. I seemed to have missed lots of interesting posts but I will try to read through them all before work. 3J, you are spot on. We have to stop BS'ing ourselves about our drinking if we are to have any chance at all at being sober. I remember kidding myself that my drinking was okay, even when I knew deep down that drinking till you pass out on a regular basis, having no memory of last nights events, waking up with bruises all over me, etc etc was very far from being normal.

I have said before, on previous quits I'd tell myself I had to stop but somewhere deep inside I wasn't convinced. I wasn't convinced I wanted to, or that I was actually capable of going without AL in my life. Not really deep down. This time my thinking is different. I deserve a better life. I deserve not to drink and smoke. I deserve not to wake up in the mornings in those states. I deserve joy and happiness, not sadness and misery. I've had a taste of it for just over three weeks now and I LOVE it.

3J gives great advice to anyone thinking of jumping on the happy wagon :

If I can do it you can do it. If you're lurking and thinking about it, put one toe in the water. Quit for one day. Then try a foot, your leg, a week, a month, next thing you know you'll be splashing about like a pro!

We all deserve happiness, are you truly happy when AL has a grip of you?

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Morning Neddy, we cross posted! Glad you are back running, and not to the wine shop!

Have a great Tuesday my friend.

"I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

Loved this

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

broken halo;1538023 wrote: Good morning everyone Well it's morning here in the UK. I seemed to have missed lots of interesting posts but I will try to read through them all before work. 3J, you are spot on. We have to stop BS'ing ourselves about our drinking if we are to have any chance at all at being sober. I remember kidding myself that my drinking was okay, even when I knew deep down that drinking till you pass out on a regular basis, having no memory of last nights events, waking up with bruises all over me, etc etc was very far from being normal.

I have said before, on previous quits I'd tell myself I had to stop but somewhere deep inside I wasn't convinced. I wasn't convinced I wanted to, or that I was actually capable of going without AL in my life. Not really deep down. This time my thinking is different. I deserve a better life. I deserve not to drink and smoke. I deserve not to wake up in the mornings in those states. I deserve joy and happiness, not sadness and misery. I've had a taste of it for just over three weeks now and I LOVE it.

3J gives great advice to anyone thinking of jumping on the happy wagon :



We all deserve happiness, are you truly happy when AL has a grip of you?

Good Morning Broken Halo,

You are right. You do deserve much better than what you were giving yourself in the past and it is great that you have made such a wonderfully positive impression on building a better life for yourself. And you are right on another thing - we all deserve better. Like you I was never convinced deep down inside in the past. Now I am!

Thanks for your inspiration and friendship.

NM x

[some-dumbass]

Newbies Nest

morning nesters

lots of thought-provoking stuff on the thread lately, too many to pick out individuals, thanks everyone for posting

day4 (again) for me. I'm starting to realize how much less effort not drinking is than drinking. not waking up every morning thinking "wtf did I do last night?!", not dragging myself through the day feeling like crap, not having to rotate off-licenses so it doesn't seem like I'm in there every day ... what a waste of effort, if I put half that effort into sobriety it would be a cinch. I keep thinking that when I need to run an errand for something or other, "oh no, can't drive, I've been drinking", & then realizing that I haven't - old habits die hard

I have a job interview this morning & it's great to be able to go there with a clear head, not shaking, not sweating, which just wouldn't have happened even a few short weeks back

hope everyone has a great AF day

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

some-dumbass;1538027 wrote: morning nesters

lots of thought-provoking stuff on the thread lately, too many to pick out individuals, thanks everyone for posting

day4 (again) for me. I'm starting to realize how much less effort not drinking is than drinking. not waking up every morning thinking "wtf did I do last night?!", not dragging myself through the day feeling like crap, not having to rotate off-licenses so it doesn't seem like I'm in there every day ... what a waste of effort, if I put half that effort into sobriety it would be a cinch. I keep thinking that when I need to run an errand for something or other, "oh no, can't drive, I've been drinking", & then realizing that I haven't - old habits die hard

I have a job interview this morning & it's great to be able to go there with a clear head, not shaking, not sweating, which just wouldn't have happened even a few short weeks back

hope everyone has a great AF day

Hi SD, glad you are starting to feel a bit better.

Good luck with the job interview. Knock 'em dead!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Happy Tuesday to one & all

Good luck on the job interview SD. Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!
Lav