Newbies Nest

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Hi Cynthialynne and welcome to MWO.

It's great to have you here with us and I promise you that we'll all get round you in a wee huddle and help put you back together again. Look forward to getting to know you better. Keep posting, getting things off your chest and just joining in with the chatter and the fun. You're going to love it!

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone!

Welcome cynthialynne, it's lovely to have you in the nest. You are going to find this a wonderful place to be in your fight against AL. Everyone here understands and we don't judge.

[cynthialynne]

Newbies Nest

Yes, that first post was the hardest today. But I told myself, like Nike says, JUST DO IT! =D
Now I'm not sure why I was so nervous. =O

Well, just WOW at this community of love and support. I am simply delighted and blown away.
Thank you all, (NS, Scarlet, 3June, Gardener, Pinecone, Tess and Neddy.) I feel the love and support.

I've never made the decision to just stop, but when you lose the love of your life over one thing, alcohol, it is time to put the brakes on. My normal drinking was either an entire bottle of wine a night, or 6-8 beers a night. I did completely quit hard alcohol about 6 months ago because that was an even worse S*%t show. (Hard to imagine.)
So I had myself convinced that I could keep myself under control with just that step, but unfortunately it continued. Now that my husband and I are separated over this I feel so ashamed. The fighting, (even me becoming physically violent with him, he tells me.) the sneaking around, hiding bottles and going to different liquor stores was just so shameful. The thing the makes me the most sick is driving around knowing I shouldn't of been, not sure how I avoided a DUI in the last 10 years. As a Registered Nurse you lose your license here for that, so talk about stupid. I could of killed someone. =(

Well I'm going to take the dog for a quick jog before the rain flies, and reaffirm my plan to myself from this day forward. I really hope I can get this done right out of the gate and just stop the insanity. I know it's a long road, but I'm gonna do the work!!

Thanks again all.
Smiles, Cyn

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

hi Cyn, sounds like you have a plan coming together already. Good for you. Remember though, don't dwell in the pains of the past because that will obscure the hopes for all your tomorrows.

Neddy

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

We've done it all, Cyn. Every single one of us has things we've done and said that are dangerous and shameful. But it's like Neddy says, we can't dwell on the past. That will only drive us to drink more. Put your energy into NOW. What is your plan, specifically? (You don't need to tell us unless you would like to. But you NEED a plan for how you are going to stay sober.) And then LIVE that plan. Yes, your choices need to be very deliberate in the beginning. You are up against a crafty and tireless foe: alcohol. Continue to read and write about your journey. As other Nesters say: if you feel a strong craving to drink, write to us first. If we are not able to respond quickly, read what other people in your shoes have written. Give yourself a wee hug and a warm pat on the back. Alcoholism is an illness. You did not choose it. You will learn to manage it. We are proud to journey with you. ~

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Cyn, sorry to hear about your break up. I hope you find peace in your new AL free life.

Hello Neddy, I hope the soggy weather today didn't put a damper on your holidays!

Tess, are you feeling any better? Looking after yourself? I hope so :l

It's been a long week and I have a day off tomorrow thankfully. No gym today, but I'll make up for it tomorrow!

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1538935 wrote: We've done it all, Cyn. Every single one of us has things we've done and said that are dangerous and shameful. But it's like Neddy says, we can't dwell on the past. That will only drive us to drink more. Put your energy into NOW. What is your plan, specifically? (You don't need to tell us unless you would like to. But you NEED a plan for how you are going to stay sober.) And then LIVE that plan. Yes, your choices need to be very deliberate in the beginning. You are up against a crafty and tireless foe: alcohol. Continue to read and write about your journey. As other Nesters say: if you feel a strong craving to drink, write to us first. If we are not able to respond quickly, read what other people in your shoes have written. Give yourself a wee hug and a warm pat on the back. Alcoholism is an illness. You did not choose it. You will learn to manage it. We are proud to journey with you. ~

I agree totally Tess. I remember hearing at an AA meeting once that alcoholism isn't your fault but recovery is your responsibility. Well it's time I scratched a line in the sand and started being more responsible. About recovery, to myself and for other people around me. Anyway, enough of me philosophising for one night. Going to go for a bath, a wee read of my book and then bed. In the past a bath and a book would have meant a F***k off sized glass of wine, but not now. Bath, book, bed. That'll do me nicely.

[Kairos]

Newbies Nest

Hi All,
Day 4 here. Not easy but hanging in.

K

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hi Broken Halo - My temp has come down to 100 degrees. Thanks for asking. Don't worry about "making up" at the gym tomorrow. Self-compassion and self-discipline are a delicate balance. Yes, sweet pea, we must strive for healing and wholeness, but a good dose of tenderness toward ourselves is needed, too.

I like that, Neddy, "Alcoholism isn't our fault but recovery is our responsibility." It makes perfect sense. I will add that recovery is much easier with like-minded people who accompany us on the journey. Enjoy your bath!! :bath2: Do people in your corner of the world bathe more than shower? I've always felt like an oddball here in the states because I prefer to bathe while most people prefer to shower. I like to think about things. (I've mentioned that, I'm sure.) And a bath gives me time to think. Yes, proud of you for skipping the wine. Really, it's rather disgusting anyway. You are much better off without it. Have a pleasant evening. ~

Hey Kairos - 4 AF Days!! Awesome!! How goes the battle? Thinking about you!!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Dear Lil' Beagle - You've been on my mind. It's admirable that you have continued to write every day during the hard times. I apologize if I've said anything that has been "salt to the wound" for you. Sometimes I'm just plain dumb. Other times, insensitive. We are sort of like a family here. A good family. A functioning family. We make mistakes. But we continue to laugh and joke and cry, and we never ever forget that we are family. Blood is thicker than water, is that how the saying goes? Not sure. Love is thicker than bullshit. This can be proven under a microscope LOL!! Love is thicker than anything and everything. I hope you are feeling a bit better. ~

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Just back from helping my niece move.
Every muscle, joint, and bone in my body hurts.
If I ever volunteer to help anyone else's kid move, please kick me...fast and hard.
Even my hair hurts.

Getting home at this hour 3 years ago would have been unthinkable...It would have cut into my drinking time. It was nice to NOT have to worry about being tied to a dam habit like that.

Cyn, you story is similar to mine....I got an ultimatum from my husband....he packed his clothes and left. At the time, it was a HARD decision (can you believe that?). It was the best thing that ever happened to me. He had threatened it before, but I didn't think he'd actually do it. He was sick to death of it... (so was I). You will be absolutely amazed at how much better you are going to feel about everything. I hope it works out for you and your husband. They really LOVE us...it's the AL they hate. Took me some time to realize that.

I'm going to go slip into a body cast. Have a safe, sober night in the nest!! Welcome back Jimmy!!
Byrdie

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Evening all. Lots of new faces, so welcome all. It was such a short while ago I felt like I crept quietly here, lurking, hesitant, nervous about posting private stuff to total strangers. All for what?, to find people who share the same common goal, kick that beast's ass!

Sam

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

Overit posted a link to a great story. Loved it. Thanks!

Welcome to all the newcomers and hello to the regulars. Have a great night.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just finished up my 4th week of extreme babysitting my granddaughter & we all survived :H
I am always grateful for the time I get to spend with my grandkids. This sure wouldn't be happening if I was still drinking

Hello & welcome Cyn!
You'd be surprised how many nurses are here among us. I'm retired now but I have to wonder if our profession had anything to do with this

CONGRATS to 3June on 60 AF days ~ nice!

I hope everyone is tucked in for a safe night in the nest.
I had a PM from JDG, said to tell you all that she is OK & will be back soon. I sure hope so!

Lav

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie sounds like you need a hot bath! You're a good auntie! And a terrific friend! Thanks for all your support!

Kairos congrats on day 4, hey if it were easy we would have done this long ago right? But it's worth it!

Nesters have a great AF night. I'm all tucked in, talk to you tomorrow!