Newbies Nest

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Samstone;1539618 wrote: Londoner
suggest you look long and hard of the situation you may put yourself in. In the end it is your choice,
no one else's.
good luck to you
Sam

Thanks, I am aware. The thing stopping me drinking is knowing the feeling I get when Rossi or drink both during and after. I am in fact a less sociable person when tipsy, and I then have to become drunk to rid me of that feeling. It all starts with the first drink.

Approaching my binge drinking problem has made me look at the underlying issues of why I drink. Slowly I am becoming a better, stronger and more fun person. :thanks:

[wino7]

Newbies Nest

6 days sober

Aloha everyone,
I have been on the taper site for 3 weeks and finally sober now no withdrawal. I had it bad also so happy it worked for me. I went through a stressful time in my life. Lost my great job, then my gf I lived with, then my hawaii condo. It wasn't because of alcohol but I soon was way off drinking all day everyday. My blood pressure went very high and soon l wasn't sleeping for days at a time. I ended up going to er because I thought I was having heart attack.

I didn't know what was happening to my body I would shake and have major anxiety and just wanna drink more. I would lay in bed all nite and wait for store to open at 7am to go buy more alcohol. It was bad. I ended up coming home to recover and this is what I learned.

Reason I couldn't sleep. Heart rate and blood pressure needed meds. Also if you drink too much your body produces adrenaline not stuff that makes you sleep after a while. The shakes were part of withdrawal from alcohol not anxiety. I went on three anxiety meds for a week or so before I realized that. I found this taper site since I thought it would be dangerous to go cold turkey. Switching to beer and drinking a few when withdrawal was coming and treating as medicine and not trying to get drunk may have saved my life.

Things that help. Vitamins. I researched these. B12 (if you drink this disappears in your body) Gaba ( look this one up) super greens and fruit. Fish oil, multi vitamin. And eat lots good food. At nite I drink Chamomile tea, and take melatonin and velerian tablets. This seems to help me sleep. I use to try and drink myself to sleep.

I had a dream last night it was my bday and my friends bought me some drinks at a bar and I took them using an excuse. I felt bad in my dream so I know I'm not out of woods yet, may never be. I do know my choice has gone to that level of thinking. I want my life back, want to go back to Hawaii and start fresh and I need to be sober and smart to do this. Ive been going to AA and appreciate the support it offers, it is free. Wish me luck.

Wino

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

THE JOURNEY

by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,...

Hello Nesters,

I'm going to "pause" Mary's poem here.

There is some discussion in The Nest this morning about the various ways that people fall into the ditch of alcoholism. "Ditch" is probably not the most descriptive term. "A deep, deep well from which it is nearly impossible to climb out" is more accurate.

When my classmates and I were warned in school about addiction I must have been daydreaming. It's not that I didn't take the warnings seriously, it's that I didn't hear them at all. I didn't know what addiction was. I didn't grow up with it. (We had other "issues" in my family, believe me!!) None of my friends appeared to be touched by it either. I'm trying to think of a good analogy. Hmm... If there had been a discussion in my classroom about the difficulties and dangers of, say, being an astronaut, I would likely have tuned out that information too. It was simply impossible that I would ever be an astronaut -- and if something didn't apply to me, I preferred to daydream. I've always been a dreamer... :angel:

So... those of you who know my story know that when I began to drink beer in my early twenties to offset anxiety, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I descended very quickly into the vice grip of alcohol addiction. Life as I had known it shattered into many miserable pieces. The misery was compounded by hopelessness. I had no hope of escaping alive.

But then came a day, as Mary writes in her poem, a day when I finally knew what I had to do, and began...

The steps that I had to take to journey toward freedom from the hellish nightmare of alcoholism were difficult and painful. But I "set my jaw" (as it were) and fought to put one foot in front of the other. My life literally depended on avoiding alcohol at all costs.

For those of you just starting the journey, take heart!! There IS hope!! No matter how difficult the journey, it is still easier by far than the perpetual spiral downward of alcohol addiction. Alcoholism is progressive: We are either on our way out or we are descending deeper and deeper.

I'm going to leave off here, for now. For some reason I feel weak, shaky, and sweaty. Maybe strep bacteria and penicillin are waging a bit of war within my body??

Bye for now.

[looking for peace]

Newbies Nest

Ford, welcome. I'm new to this forum as well, but not new to MWO. I want to post on my progress everyday and to read through some of the latest post to get to know people.

I'm a stay at home mom in my early fifties. I have 2 boys... One is in college and one is 18 and is autistic. That's why I am still a stay at home mom, the 18 year old is essentially like a toddler in many ways so there is still quite a bit of responsibility that comes with that.

I have been fighting this demon on and off for 25 years. Some years have been good and some have been bad. I've basically been trying to control my intake for at least 15 years.... Which is a nightmare to try to do. I'm at the point that I don't want to fight anymore. It's like getting into a boxing ring with Mike Tyson, I'll never win.

So, I'm going to come here daily and be accountable (good or bad). Yesterday was a good day, no alcohol but it took me quite some time to fall asleep. Looking forward to a good productive Saturday.

Best of luck to all.... Looking forward to getting to know you.

[neferkamichael]

Newbies Nest

Wino7, 6 days sober, fantastic. Towards the end of my drinking career I to was waiting for the liquor to open but now am 3 years sober. The support from sites like MyWayOut have been a major factor in my recovery. Rottin for ya.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1539419 wrote: Friday night. Fridge full of Alcohol. Completely sober. Feels very weird and wonderful.

Something like having a pet lion

Kids, don't try this at home!! :H:H:

Allan, I'm so happy for your 11 months AF!

Alarm bells are going on for me. Having AL in the fridge feels 'weird and wonderful'. I wonder why? Weird. Why...maybe because IT is the enemy? Wonderful. Why? Maybe because it's your old friend...sort of like the feeling we used to have when we had a really good stash of booze?

I worry about your reintroducing AL into your home. Even at 2.567 years, I would not be comfortable having it LOOMING in my fridge. Addiction Head is stronger than I am, and I'm not willing to take the chance of letting him back in. Since my quit, I have neither bought nor served AL. With the availability of AL, you could go out and buy it in 10 minutes, already cold, if you had folks coming over. When I entertain, people always ask 'what can I bring?' I tell them to bring what they want to drink, if it's other than tea or diet coke. It works great. I don't have to try and live with a pet Lion.

I'm an alcoholic, and while I'm as strong as I can be in my quit, I'm not willing to tempt myself with a ready stash, no more than I would keep a little heroin on hand for those people who might come by to visit!:H:H

I'm in sales...and in sales school, they tell us that you can ignore an objection that a prospect mentions once. You can even ignore it twice. But when it's mentioned 3 times, you better address it. I am worried you have mentioned this supply of cold wine twice now. I worry that it's going to grow heads and start speaking in tongues.

When folks come in here after long periods of sobriety, we always try to ask them 'what got you?' Without question, it's complacency. That's what we must battle now. Please don't get too cozy with the enemy...it IS out to kill us.

I like to err on the side of caution. I want to tell you to get it the hell outta there! I would rather be considered an AF Wench, than to try and console you because you were trying to pick up the pieces after a fall. Sorry to chime in on this, but I have learned from the Master Lav herself. She doesn't have it in the house, and neither do it. You never know when the 'Feck-it's' will come to call. Just my 2 cents!

Have a great Sattidy eva'body!! xo, Byrdie

[MyChoice]

Newbies Nest

Friends, any practical suggestions how to deal with stress and anger? Before I would turn to my old friend AL, but I'm looking for ways to avoid that, yet all alternatives such as count to 10 when angry, think before speak didn't really work for me, which of course made me even more irritated and caused an internal volcano to erupt. Do you have any recommendations? Any thing you have tried that worked for you and stuck around? Each time I get upset I feel hopeless, it almost feels I don't know any other ways to deal with problems other than drinking. Any suggestions are welcomed! Thank you much for sharing your experiences and ideas! Much love to all.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

neferkamichael;1539661 wrote: Rottin for ya.

:H:H:H

Nefer, your avatar reminds me of ancient mummies and stuff from times gone by....when I read, 'rottin' for you, I snorted my diet coke up my nose!!!!

That was funny.....sorry!

I am so impressed with your 3 years sober!! My date would have been a whole year more if I would have listened to those who went before me on this site!! I've learned my lesson now, and I'm on board for good! Glad to see you and look forward to getting to know you better!

Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

My Choice...I'm not sure I'm the qualified to answer your question, but until someone else comes along.... I found there was so much agitation up in my head that little things became giant irritations. I was also irritated when I couldn't drink when and how much I wanted to. There was constant turmoil in my head. Once I got some AF time under my belt, things became a lot more peaceful. Simple. BETTER! Once you are no longer a junkie constantly looking for a fix you will be amazed what else falls into place. BUT, there is a lot more to getting sober than just not drinking. It is quite a journey of self identification. I believe that when we started abusing AL, we really stopped growing emotionally. Once you quit, your emotional age tries to catch up with your chronological age and it's an eye opener. You LEARN to sort things out. You learn to cope.
I try to treat others like I want to be treated....with respect. I don't respond well to yelling. Surely there are some articles you can reference about anger management...I guess ALK is the ultimate show of anger to ourselves. Once you learn to love and respect yourself again, maybe the other issues will follow. AL is more to blame than I ever thought. Perhaps once you get the AL out, the other issues will become less of a factor.
Welcome aboard, all I know is that LIFE IS BETTER without AL!!! (and I was the last one to 'get it') Byrdie

[neferkamichael]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady, upps, I'm rootin for ya. I'm a big reader of ancient history. Nefer is an ancient egyptian word meaning beautiful, and ka means soul. I aspire to be a beautiful soul.

[neferkamichael]

Newbies Nest

MyChoice, if you find a method for overcoming stress and anger please let me know. I'm beginning to realize that getting off the chemical substances is the easy part.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Byrdie, I'm with you - we need to set ourselves up to succeed and for most of us, that means no AL in the house. Allan, since you lived with temptation the whole time, you may be stronger than others of us for whom having easily available alcohol would be a gateway to failure.

MyChoice, many people here use practices such as meditation or yoga to deal with stress. Those likely would help with your issues but may not be sufficient if you are struggling with a big problem. Have you looked into counseling or behavioral therapy?

L4P, I agree that trying to control the intake of a highly addictive substance is a nightmare and once you are addicted, essentially impossible. Once you are at peace with the idea of not drinking again, the rest follows. The more you say it, think it, and write it in posts, the more the thought becomes your reality. Glad you're planning to visit us everyday . Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself. We're about the same age but you live with a stress that I've not experienced. You must be a wonderful mother. Even the challenges I imagine you experience with your son should be easier to deal with once this battle with AL, that affects everything, is behind you. And it can be - sooner than you can even imagine.

Hope all Nesters are doing well.

:h NS

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Hi Ford, good to see you here! Please join in the discussions, everyone here has a voice, my friend!

Tess, way to go with your post. 'I set my jaw'....love it!

Well done wino, see how far you have come already?

l4P, looking forward to seeing your daily posts

My Choice, I used to be quite a reactive person, I had to kind of train that out of myself as I manage people and it simply doesn't work most of the time. Ask yourself why you are angry or upset. Think about your options. Will it help if you react? Will it be effective? Or would it be better to reflect on things before you act? Good luck with it, you could also google stress management and see what comes up. being a volcano can't be comfortable!

Well folks I had a busy day at work, but enjoyed it. I'm going to read through the posts I have missed, just wanted to say hi to everyone, hope your Saturdays are progressing well and that AL doesn't get a look in!

[cynthialynne]

Newbies Nest

Just want to check in for the day, and say hey, hey to everyone!

It really helps to be accountable here daily...

Well, day number 3 half over and I feel better today than yesterday. Since this is my first attempt at quitting, I had to think the last time I went 3 days without drinking. Um, yeah, I couldn't remember. I've had a day here and there, but that's because I was hungover. I made a list of all the bad things (that I can remember) I've said and done because of alcohol and that was a powerful tool. Also, I've had a lot of injuries from being wasted. I've dropped a brick on my foot (not cool), wrecked my bike numerous times and cut myself while thinking I was a gourmet chef while drunk.

Anyway, I did some research on the sugar cravings because that was getting out of hand.
I'm having really good luck today with C2O pure coconut water. It's $1.50 a can, (cheaper than a beer) and 50 calories per serving. It's really tasty, and has a lot of health benefits. So ZERO cravings today.

Well, off to the mountains for a bike ride. Thank you again for all who have reached out, it makes a world of difference.

Happy Saturday, and keep a smile!
~Cyn

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

MyChoice;1539665 wrote: Friends, any practical suggestions how to deal with stress and anger? Before I would turn to my old friend AL, but I'm looking for ways to avoid that, yet all alternatives such as count to 10 when angry, think before speak didn't really work for me, which of course made me even more irritated and caused an internal volcano to erupt. Do you have any recommendations? Any thing you have tried that worked for you and stuck around? Each time I get upset I feel hopeless, it almost feels I don't know any other ways to deal with problems other than drinking. Any suggestions are welcomed! Thank you much for sharing your experiences and ideas! Much love to all.

G'day Nester's near and not so far! What inspiring, thought provoking posts here once again.

Hi Mychoice, I'm no psychologist, just an ex-drunk, but for me i'd reckon.....talk, talk, talk it out with someone you trust and feel safe/comfortable yapping with who will listen to you non-judgementally. For me, i'd remove myself from the situation. Walk away and get distracted with something else as best you can to try to re-set your mood. 5 minutes of slow deep breathing will relax your body physically. Above all, for me it's important to get what's in my head out of it. Onto paper, or talking with someone. Take care of yourself.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober and magical weekend.

G bloke. :h