Newbies Nest

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone.

Welcome Marsden, Gabrielle. Lav put out some good advice. Congrats on taking a big, beautiful step forward.

Phoenix - here's a smack upside the head -- you're making a catastrophe out of things that haven't even happened yet. Don't worry so much about never, or ever, or even tomorrow. Sounds like you've blown a lot of things up in your imagination - so just take it slow and see what happens. Once you get your head clearer, you'll be able to figure out what's best for you. But that's later -- you need to take good care of yourself now.

I had a lot of the same thoughts and fears; same with Gabrielle's thought of not being able to imagine what an af night would be. But it turns out that I'd overblown things in my mind. Before I thought I needed to drink to be normal -- now I've learned more about what normal is really like. My advice is to treat yourself well; don't worry about the rest of your life right now; and don't blow the cravings out of proportion.

Take care everyone. G'nite from here.
tw

[idbiscuit]

Newbies Nest

Not sure if this is where I'm supposed to post! Been too long since I have been here. But here I am yet again! Actually, I have done quite well with moderation for months. And then this past Saturday I am not even sure how much wine I drank. I'm still too afraid to ask my husband how out of control I got! I have completely forgotten the end of the evening! After spending my entire Sunday in bed, I am at day 2!!! I really am sick of this roller coaster. How can it be this difficult?

[sooty]

Newbies Nest

Hello id and welcome back to the nest - where you will always be very welcome. Put the weekend behind you and come and join us here.
I hope you are feeling stronger now and look forward to seeing you again later
Sooty

[PhoenixRising]

Newbies Nest

Hey id, been there, done that, SOOO many times. Congrats with being able to moderate. I've been successful with it and then blown it, over and over again.

[PhoenixRising]

Newbies Nest

I did it!!

So, my first AF day was yesterday. I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! :wd: I am so happy. And hugely relieved and hopeful. Thank God for Baclofen. :h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good afternoon Nesters!

This is the first chance I've had all day to check in

Welcome back to the Nest id! I'm sure your old twig is here somewhere, make yourself comfortable. My poison was wine too. I have no idea how much I was drinking at the end......LOTS! It's all history now, I'm only looking forward. Congrats on your 2 AF days - great start!

Hello Ms Sooty - hopefully the rain has stopped for a while. I'm actually seeing sunshine today

Phoenix, I'm smiling big time for you - yay!! Stick with us & listen to Tranq - he's a smart guy!!

Hope to check back later tonight - wishing everyone a great Tuesday.

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Where are all the Nestlings tonight????

Tranq - you're there, aren't you?

Well, I'm leaving the night light on for safety..................
Wishing everyone a safe night!

Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hey. Yep! Here! Just got home from gym.

Way to go Phoenix! I'm smiling too! Go slow and be very good to yourself.

Hi ID! Welcome back! I've found that mod'ing is a different kind of challenge too.

Thanks Lav - If I were "that" smart - I guess I wouldn't be here would I? ;-]

I've finally come to realize that I can't change what's in the past; nor can I change what it has become; nor does it really matter right now. All I can do is try to learn something and figure out the right thing to do next.

Bye for now. Take care all.
tw

[idbiscuit]

Newbies Nest

Yep, moderating isn't easy. Can I really say that I am moderately drinking a glass of wine tonight? It helps to come here. I honestly don't know where to turn for safety! All of my friends and family...we revolve our life around alcohol! I've reached a point now where I feel I have to sneak a sip because I get the very evil eyes from my husband if he sees me lift the bottle. I know it is out of fear, bless him. I will keep coming back here as I gain strength! Thanks for the welcomes and the support.

[idbiscuit]

Newbies Nest

So Lav, I take it you don't moderate, you abstain? How do you deal with the friends you hung with? Maybe that wasn't an issue for you. I love my friends but I wonder if I love the partying with them. Just not sure....

[idbiscuit]

Newbies Nest

Yeah Phoenix!!!! Nice job

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Overcast skies here in this part of the nest. Thunderstorms actually predicted for later today!!

Tranq, you are a smart guy & we have to keep learning & changing! It's the only way we can continue to move forward

id, I did choose to remain AF - it was the best choice for me. I am not willing to attempt moderating because I know I can't do it - it's as simple as that! I've never been happy with just one glass of wine, don't see myself ever being happy with just one glass. I have gained so much personally since going AF, I am not willing to go back to my old ways
As far as friends, I couldn't care less what anyone thinks!! Most of the people around me are either very moderate drinkers or don't drink at all. Truthfully, I am just too damned old to feel pressured by anyone to do something I don't want to do. It's all in your attitude - or in my case 'Lavan-itude' You need to decide what is best for you - regardless of what anyone else thinks or is doing!

Phoenix, hope to see you here today as well!

Wishing everyone a great Humpday!

Lav

I humbly give credit to our smart guy Tranq for naming my attitude, ha ha - it fits me perfectly!

[PhoenixRising]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters!

Well, last night I came home and hubs wasn't there. So, I checked my email and had a message from him "just reminding you I am playing a game at Justin's tonite". Well, he never told me. Plus, he'd been away since Thursday, back Monday but I didn't get to spend any time with him. So, feeling rejected, very lonely, empty house MAJOR TRIGGER for the Phoenix. So (hangs head) I had a bottle of light beer. I guess I can count this as a triumph because before I'd have turned right around, got back in my car and gone and gotten a bottle of wine. I was able to stop after one beer and say to myself "this is really stupid". I caught myself in my old destructive habit and was able to stop myself. Even after hubs got home and I was pouty and he was defensive (I'd have been ok with it if he'd had at least called me or emailed me during the day instead of refusing to man up and pretending he had already told me when he knew he had not). I guess I am feeling a little hyper emotional (YA THINK??) :no:
So, I am back to Day 1 today. Drat. How many times can a Phoenix rise from the ashes?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

The answer is - as many times as it takes Phoenix!!
Don't ever give up trying - one of these days it will stick
Identifying your triggers is big, sometimes not what you even thought they were......... Just keep coming back here everyday, it was a big help for me!

Hope to see a few more nesters check in.........maybe we need to go out & do some recruiting??!!

Had a busy & interesting day myself - ready to put my feet up!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - the night light will be on..........

Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone.

Kind of quiet here. Phoenix, it's kind of wrong in my mind to count one light beer as a loss - especially since you caught yourself and stopped to think before getting to the store. That one was a HUGE WIN! Nice going, and way to deal with the household weirdness. Those are the kinds of triggers that are hard for me too. Nice job.

Id, I moderate too, and I have to deal with my old pals. They might be the only reason I try to mod -- it's the social part that's hard to give up for me. My strategy lately is typically to start late and stop early when I'm going out. I don't make a big deal out of it, so most people don't even notice how much (or little) I drink. The other thing is I don't really worry too much about have 4-5 beers on occasion spread over the course of an evening. I don't drink at home alone anymore, so I'm not drinking on most days. Others might not agree, but for me mod'ing is really abstaining 99% of the time. But I felt I needed to do the 30 af days to get under control first.

Running late tonight - gonna get some sleep.

Take care everyone!
tw