Newbies Nest

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Rahul - Yes, your primary relationship was with beer. Beer buddies are just that: BEER buddies. When we stop drinking beer, our "buddies" quickly disappear. Why? Because it wasn't us that they were really interested in, it was the beer...

NOW, Rahul, you have the chance of a lifetime. You have the chance to make real friends who want to be with YOU. It may take some time, but that's okay, you've got plenty of time. As you continue to be sober your thinking will become more clear. You will begin to have an interest in something other than beer. And as you pursue that interest, whatever it is, you will find like-minded people who know how to enjoy life without alcohol. They are out there and you are going to find a friend.

Your wife and children can only be happy and thrilled, Rahul. Peace in the home!! Daddy playing with his children!! Delightful!! I am so very proud of you!!

Make a plan for Switzerland. It has to be a plan that will work for you. Perhaps you can dine in your room if there is absolutely no place to enjoy a meal without alcohol being served all around you. Maybe you can go for a walk in the evenings. Or for a swim. You might find a good book. Many of us start a gratitude list. It's a simple list of things we jot down that we are grateful for. You will want to fill your evenings with something other than drinking beer.

You have made such a great start!!

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, when you are in Switzerland just remember the joy of playing with your kids; the lack of conflict between you and your wife; the fact that you have the chance to come home from business ready to be a loving, caring Dad full of attention and love for his family. Your wife, and your kids, presumably, will be expecting the worst on your return back home. Why not give them the biggest surprise and greatest gift they could imagine - a sober and happy husband and Father? It's only six days. Do it! Stand up for yourself and your family and give yourselves a wonderful springboard for the future. Best wishes my friend.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, you have gone 6 days without drinking and you feel so much better. How good did it feel to play with your kids, to be sober and happy with them? I know you are on your own a lot but there must be other things Switzerland has to offer other than booze!

Can you maybe spend a couple of hours on skype with your family while you are away?

Make a plan Rahul. Take some books with you, go for walks, see things in Switzerland that the beer blinded you to before. Will your hotel have a gym?

It's amazing how the witching hour flies by when you are building endorphins! Stay strong and focussed. Nothing is worse than drinking my friend.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Rahul, I travel for business, too. 3 years ago I'd have thought it impossible to pass the time in a hotel without drinking myself to death....until I did it. Take your computer and get on this site and dive into the Tool Box. You can spend hours in there learning about this thing we have. Watch some tv shows or rent a movie in your room....there really are tons of things to do and the night passes faster than you think. There's always work UGG!! You will be amazed that the people you THOUGHT were so interesting to drink with are actually just a bore once you get sober. Drinking WAS the entertainment....Go out and find a gift for your kids or get some take out food to eat in the room. I used to get absolutely shitfaced when I traveled....if an old travel-weary drunk like me can wise up, I know you can too! You will save lots of money, too!! I only drink water at night (caffeine keeps me awake)...you will never have to pick up another bar bill again!! SWEET! You can do it!!! Byrdie

[cynthialynne]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all so much for the feedback. (NS, Neddy and Rahul.)

I have given in some thought and decided it's just too early to let my guard down under circumstances that involve BBQ AND football. That's just too much to tempt. Maybe later in the football season I will have more of an airtight plan. I can't even risk going back to day 1.

I love to bounce things off you folks, and you tell me the truth, not just what I want to hear. I sure can appreciate that. I hope to be a sounding board and give support too. (I am a nurse, so that's what I like to do anyway, just not on this topic yet.) =) For now, I will take all the advice I can get and take it to heart.

On another note, a friend of mine (per my request) sent me a voicemail I left him in Jan. of me sounding like a drunken, cussing sailor. That was really hard to hear. I don't even remember leaving it, of course. In the vm I told him he needed to come get his sh*t out of my house. (He had probably 3 things there being stored.) I am slurring and it's painful to listen to. I never want to do that again. I will save the message in case I need a reminder in the future.

Have a wonderful rest of your day/evening, and this is more for me:
GO BRONCOS!:yay::banana:

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,
I, too, am on the road a lot (next trip will be 24 days) and know that if I can stay away from the bar, I am well on my way to remaining AF. I make a point to hit the gym, the pool, the spa, and to post as much as possible. Here's a link to a 7 minute workout that No Sugar shared with me.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/0...-workout/?_r=2

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

cynthialynne;1541419 wrote: Thank you all so much for the feedback. (NS, Neddy and Rahul.)

I have given in some thought and decided it's just too early to let my guard down under circumstances that involve BBQ AND football. That's just too much to tempt. Maybe later in the football season I will have more of an airtight plan. I can't even risk going back to day 1.

I love to bounce things off you folks, and you tell me the truth, not just what I want to hear. I sure can appreciate that. I hope to be a sounding board and give support too. (I am a nurse, so that's what I like to do anyway, just not on this topic yet.) =) For now, I will take all the advice I can get and take it to heart.

On another note, a friend of mine (per my request) sent me a voicemail I left him in Jan. of me sounding like a drunken, cussing sailor. That was really hard to hear. I don't even remember leaving it, of course. In the vm I told him he needed to come get his sh*t out of my house. (He had probably 3 things there being stored.) I am slurring and it's painful to listen to. I never want to do that again. I will save the message in case I need a reminder in the future.

Have a wonderful rest of your day/evening, and this is more for me:
GO BRONCOS!:yay::banana:

Hi Cyn, I think you made the right choice and when you wake up tomorrow you will know you did. The VM reminds me of a time I was being filmed without my knowledge an when it was played back to me, I swear, I have never cringed so much. You know what? It is amazing how stories on here can remind one of things that had been forgotten or buried. Wow!

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

off to bed, goodnight Nesters x

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

I'm off to be too, folks. Sleep tight wherever you are.

[cynthialynne]

Newbies Nest

Good night, Neddy! Sleep well.

BTW, same friend said he had a drunk video of me too, he fortunately deleted it. I'm sure it was horrible. The VM was enough to make me cringe this entire day. I actually went off on him in the message, and then in the end said. "OK, thanks, I love you." I have zero recollection of it. WTH. Alcohol is absolute poison to the brain.

Thanks again.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Popping in to say hi, looks like everyone's doing well, setting up and following their plans! I'm still on this gawd awful night shift, seems I'm always exhausted. Oh well I have a good paying job and since I've quit drinking I seem to be in a pretty great mood all the time. Hmm so that means all those years of moodiness ... Oh well what's done is done!

Have a great night everyone and I hope to catch up a little on the weekend!

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good evening friends,

Rahul, this COULD be the time that things are different. Alcohol is still just alcohol, even if served in a foreign country, it takes us to the same place on the end. Lav says "nothing changes if nothing changes."

Cyn, I'm really glad you came to the decision you did. You'll never regret it.

Have a great AF night everybody.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie thank you for those rules for us to live by. You come up with the most useful information.
3June I agree with you. My moods have generally improved but I still hit really flat spots too Neddy. I think my emotions are just trying to catch up. Drinking stunted my emotional growth for so long that I feel like these are growing pains. Remember those when you were little?
Rahul I have found that first are hard. But once past theat point each time I repeat an activity without alcohol it just becomes part of my everyday routine. You can do this. A little discomfort is worth the pride you will feel at your accomplishment of not giving in to that urge to drink. Refer to my signature line.
Cyn so proud of you. Keep up the positive work and it will happened. I was so lost my first month af. But perseverance really does pay off.
Glad to see you Elvis, Woofer, Bhalo, Sam (how are those chicks?)
Lav , no sugar I really appreciate you both for making this nest such a comfy, welcoming place. Hope I didn't miss anyone
I love you all.
:dog::dog:

[Ross88]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, newbie and wasn't too sure where too post an introduction. Have been meaning to join the forum for some time for extra support. Have just finished some councelling for my drinking but have already been on two binges since and have really struggled to come to terms with being sober for good. My drinking was never on a daily basis just a case of serious binge drinking to the point of blacking out again and again and again.... Yet wanting to do it all again the following week. I regulary get depressed which has hindered my recovery but i am very active, work out alot....Do thai boxing. Sometimes no matter what i do it just doesn't feel like enough and the cycle repeats again. Very up and down if you get my drift. Hope to stick at this forum and give it a real go, talk to people who understand.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, the nest was busy today - that's a good thing

Hello & welcome Ross!
Glad you decided to join us. Please settle in & make yourself comfortable. It's not a bad idea to download the MWO book (pdf), that's how I got started.

I just wanted to mention that avoiding temptation is the kindest thing you can do for yourself when starting out. I spent nearly 3 months tied to home before venturing back out into the real world & I'm glad I did

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! Tomorrow is Friday so let's get our plans in order!!!

Lav