Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends,

Sanchez, welcome! If it was me, I would find a way to back out of it. An airtight plan is crucial to successfully remain AF for something like this. The wise Byrdie always says that hope is not a strategy. I thought my plan was pretty good once until Byrdie mentioned her plan for something I had never even considered! It proved to me the importance of staying on the offensive with this thing.

BlondeAFambition, welcome back! It's great to see you again.

Snapdragon, welcome back too!

Hi GirlyWirly, how are you?

Neddy, good luck with going back to work after your vacation. I always hate that!

Have a great AF day everyone.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Good luck Sanchez. Determination is the key here. Stick to it. Put your foot down. He'll yes! I am af and loving it!! You get the idea.
Rahul nosugar said it best. After awhile I really found life so much better. I didn't lose anything, I gained the world.
Welcome back Snap. Make this your last day 1 and you will never regret it.
Blond welcome.
Miley keep up the good work.
Sam you are becoming eloquent.
Have a great day all.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters! Quick fly by before hitting the road today for an overnight.
BlondeAF, Girly and Snap, welcome back!!! Settle in and stay close. Staying connected with like-minded people is key.
Sanchez, I still worry about this soiree with your drinking buddies. Misery not only loves company, it loves miserable company. If they are going to over drink, they want you to, too. They all KNOW they should stop, and if you do, it makes them look bad. (been there, done that) Try to come up with SOME excuse for arriving LATE and leaving EARLY. Go with a FULL stomach. Bring your own drinks and make them yourself. Tell them you've had unexpected house guests!!! It just happened to ME! Do whatever it takes to maintain your quit. Assume these people are going to try and derail you, so you don't get caught off guard. One night of socializing with heavy drinkers can come at a heavy cost to us....it takes a LOT to get back on board, it's just easier to STAY sober than it is to GET sober. You might do a search on this site for holiday parties....same rules apply. You don't have to be the first one in the door standing around awkward while everyone offers you a drink. When you arrive later, there is plenty to do without the standing around. After an hour or so visiting, when the drinks are really kicking in and people are starting to get louder and closer....it's time to go home. They won't remember anything after that anyway, and you get home in time to write us a note and tell us how proud you are of yourself. There's no buzz that matches THAT feeling!!! If you can't get out of it, go with all of your armor in place.
I'm having dinner tonight with my niece (the one I helped move week before last). So that should be fun. The thought of driving after 5 would have been unheard of 3 years ago!! I am so thankful to be AF!!! Halleloooya!
Have a wonderful and sober day!! Keep your quit no matter what and no matter who!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

You said it Byrdie!!!
Stick to your plan, say NO THANKS with gusto & ignore the peer pressure sanchez

The weather is absolutely horrendous here. Severe storm, flash flooding & tornado warnings up right now

Wishing everyone a much better day than I'm apparently going to have :H
Make it an AF Tuesday!

Lav

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning all,

Everyone sounds great!

Welcome to all the newbies, and welcome back to all the returning nesters.

I have come to realize that AL is always mind altering whether we ingest it or not. It wants us to believe that it is ok to have just one with the buddies, or on a special occasion. IT IS NOT!!!!!! One drink always leads to many more for me.

So today I choose to be AF. I want to be in control of my life not a conniving liquid/substance that always convinces me to do the wrong thing and make me someone I am really not.

Just my thought for the day.

Lav, hope you and the girls are safe in this weather.
Sam just noticed the fireplace. Amazing did you build it?
Byrdie always right on target with your posts. You and lav are the best nest mothers we could ask for
Snap let the past be the past and look toward the bright future you know you can have AF. You are always welcome here.
LB, Pinecone and any others I missed have a great day.
JDG

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Morning all

another semi dreary day here on the east side of the US of A. Looks like a weather change coming up Lav.
Funny how I get use to seeing folks on here and when they don't post in awhile I'm hoping they're doing well. Missing Tess and Fin. So glad to see the "returnees".
JD, The chimney is remains from an old cabin. Wish I could build something like that!
LB, now that's a first...one thing I never been accused of is being eloquent.

Onward, forward sober!

[Miley]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Everyone......

Rahul....Congratulations on Day 10....Double Digits!!!!!

Nice to see everyone here this morning.....Neddy, Rahul, Girly, BH and anyone else I missed. I hope everyone has a great AF Day. It is raing here on the East Coast but I am off work today to run errands so it should be a good day!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Tornado warning has expired Sam - it's on it's way to NJ now. Geez!
Flash flood watch still in effect.

Snap, welcome back! Stick around for a while so we can help you thru everything

Greetings JDG, Miley & everyone!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Kindling

Hi, all, and welcome back to the returners!

This is an article that Kuya posted several months ago and I posted earlier this morning in another thread: http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...22-1/25-34.pdf

The take home message is that in addition to being psychologically destructive to start and stop and start and stop drinking, it is very dangerous. The cycle wrecks havoc on our bodies. This is a progressive disease -- it gets worse and worse and more difficult to treat each time we put ourselves through periods of drinking and abstinence.

Clearly if we have joined MWO, we have realized that our drinking is a problem that we can no longer sustain. Most of us also cannot moderate. This leaves one choice: quit.

I know the "scared straight" public service announcements have been unsuccessful in the "war on drugs" but understanding what is definitely going to happen biochemically and physiologically given repeated cycles of AL abuse and abstinence might be another incentive to quit. I hope so. NS

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

Rahulthesweet;1542953 wrote: Elvis you inspire me ... You while I am on my 9th day I can't digest the fact that I will never drink AF.... How do I kill this though at back of my mind that I should or will never drink again ? I never want to drink again but then there is a part which has a more casual approach. Hope the right part wins all the time in this struggle ...

Like others have said, there is no magic formula that works for everyone. If there was, we wouldn't need forums and support groups like this. You need to come to this decision on your own. Take a look at what's important in your life and why you are chosing to quit. Then whenever you feel like drinking again, remember the reasons you quit in the first place.

If forever is scaring you, don't worry about it for now, just take it one day at a time, I will not drink today. Then when tomorrow comes, I will not drink today. It will get easier over time, and maybe even quicker than you think. To quote someone on a different forum - "Abs begets abs." In other words, abstaining from alcohol today makes it easier to abstain tomorrow (and likewise drinking alcohol today makes it easier to drink again tomorrow).

Good job on your 10 days, it feels great doesm't it!

[GMS]

Newbies Nest

Back Again

Hi All

Just introducing myself, I was here a few years back and managed Six months. I always thought I could mod and never wanted to hear any other advice. I fell off gradually first only drinking on Saturdays then Fri/Sat then all weekend including Sundays. Before I realised I was 7 days a week. I lost my username/password but came back and just lurked at the turn of 2013 reading and taking the advice but did not post. I was AF from 29/12/12 until March 2013. I attempted to moderate again. Guess what I followed exactly the Same pattern. Talk about do the same old things and get the same old result syndrome.

I now get it Elvis is so correct but just as many have posted before me this is an individual journey and we make our own mistakes in order to learn and grow.

I really do understand the pain of that nagging feeling about the reality of never being able to drink again. The future for me is to strive in order to change enough not even to think in this way. Drinking, Stopping, Modding Stopping tomorrow that never comes, stopping getting enough time under my belt to know the joys of being AF. Then starting all over again is just to wearing.

So I'm day 3 and determined as never before to answer my big question "Why am I so obsessed with this small nagging thought of drinking in moderation"

I know the theory and I know time helps but anyone with practical tips in these early days fire away.

Day3 done
Day7
Day14
Day30
Day60

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Snap, Girly and Blondie! Glad to see you all here...now stick close ok? You can do this, and we can help!

Lav - Wow, that's some weather you get in your neck of the woods. Our weather forecast is always the same "75 and sunny"....BORING!

My daughter is going camping with my family this week, and can you believe my first thought was "I could drink and nobody would know!"?? After all this time, the beast still TRIES, but that's all he is allowed to do...try. Besides, the way I drink (drank) would land me in the hospital or jail, so yes, people would know!!!

Remember that a craving never lasts as long as a hangover, and you'll never wake up in the morning wishing you'd drank the night before.

Hang in there Nesties...we can do this!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

75 & sunny K9? Really :H :H
The rain & dire warnings have moved out now & I think I see some sun trying to peek thru now

Hello & welcome GMS!
Glad you are posting & enjoying the benefits of a safe & secure nest

Greetings to everyone checking in today!

[Neddy Merrill]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone, It is a beautiful evening here in the west of Scotland - bright, warm and a gentle breeze.
Snap - I know exactly what you mean: I used to get so depressed and heavy-hearted after drinking I felt like killing myself. I guess I was, slowly.
BlondeAF - hope day 2 is going well and you are feeling as chipper as you sounded in your post
Sanchez - if you can't get out of seeing these guests you will have to lie about being on antibiotics or something. One drink will take you right back and none of us wants that.
Pinecone - thanks. Work is a real joy for me rather than a pleasure. I just need to step away from the drinking culture that exists there at weekends.
JDG - sound perception about mind altering effects of AL: when I think of some of the things Ihave one and yet there is a wee voice that tells me that it wasn't that bad, other people were worse, nobody really cares, etc
NS - thanks for the article. I will read it later this evening after I have eaten
Elvis - fantastic advice you give that we would all do well to remember
GMS - welcome to MWO. Hang in here and you will see a huge positive change in your life (in al areas) Best wishes.
LB, Byrdie, Lav, Miley, K9 and anyone I have forgotten - hope everything is going great guns for you!
I will check in later this evening. BFN

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters, just flitting in, shift work really cuts into my chat time!

I was away this weekend and talking about upcoming vacation plans next month and this winter. I realized I haven't been on vacation since I became AF. What? A new challenge? Yes the thoughts came up, why can't I drink a little while on holidays? What if I make a conscious decision to drink while I'm away and quit again when I get back? I was never as bad as those people in the videos. I have quit once ( this is my first real quit and it's been 71 days) so I can obviously do it again. Yada yada. Such bullshit. Sorry if I offend anyone but I am getting angry that these thoughts re-appear now and start their little games in my head. When I find myself going down that road I try to talk it away. Remember that I will have fun without AL. A bonfire is fun without AL. A sunset is fun without AL. Waking up sober, happy and free is an indescribable gift. I gave myself that gift and no sleazy slimy bullshit thought of AL is going to take that away. Hell no.