Newbies Nest

[Lizann]

Newbies Nest

Yes today is my seventh day sober. Granted I still have to make it through today, but I'm a little excited and don't feel the cravings.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Have been awake for almost 36 hours and cannot sleep until late this evening.

This is the first time I had a feeling very similar to a hangover... Heavy head, shakes, sweats and brain numbness. Look forward falling to asleep =/

AK

[cynthialynne]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all~

Thanks for the positive words. I'm sure glad today to feel good, be able to exercise and have no shame. In the future I'll be able to ride my bike with the crew and not have to drink. The ride should be about biking and NOT drinking. I just have to, like you all said, change my attitude about it. Gonna also work on my gratitude list.

Thanks Lav, BH and wine-no. (I will check out the the book The Sober Revolution, per your recommendation.)

Have a fabulous Thursday, and keep a smile!
~Cyn

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello All Fledglings and Wise Birds,

I have not been in The Nest for a few days. Life has become so painful that I am numb. My mother is passing from this life. I have been offered a drink several times from family along with the statement, "This will help you, Tess." Alcohol seems irrelevant; like a drop of water on a raging fire.

And so quickly. That's what I don't understand. Why is she in such a hurry? But she is. Faith is calling her. We don't often see that. I have not seen it. We place value on the people who fight a courageous battle against death. But she's not fighting.

Last night she said to me in her weak voice, "Baby Tess, death is the same as giving birth. We do not like the pain. But the pain is forgotten when the tiny infant is in our arms. We are so happy to hold the baby." Then she paused for a few minutes. My head was lying next to her on the bed. Suddenly Mom said, "This time I will be the baby. I will be held and cherished."

She knows something that I don't know.

The hospice nurses have informed us that now is the time for all family members to be here.

I will write when I can.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Thinking of you, Tess.

[Wine-no!]

Newbies Nest

So sorry Tess.. :-(
My mum has cancer. It hurts so much.
Big hugs x

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone;1544131 wrote: Thinking of you, Tess.

Thank you, Pine. You do not get a lot of fanfare in The Nest. I notice these things. But whenever you write, whenever you offer your voice of wisdom, I take notice. Always have. It's not about fanfare. It's about caring. Thank you for thinking of me. It means more than I can possibly voice. And thank you for being my fellow fledgling. No matter what... life is much better when we are sober. And having sober friends, like you Pine, is priceless. Hugs!!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Awww, Tess. So sorry - I understand what you're going through. I was with my mom the whole time she was dying too. It's extremely difficult, but they need the peace and release from the agony of dying. At some point it's just necessary to let them go so they feel like than can stop fighting. :l:h

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Wine-no! - I am terribly sorry for your pain and that of your mum. I am with you in your suffering.

Unwasted - I am sorry, too, for what you've been through. Last night I gave my mom a bed bath, as is our routine. I sprinkled powder on her, wrapped her in warm blankets, and held her until she fell asleep. Then I went and found crayons that my nieces had been using earlier in the day. On a scrap of paper I made a passport to heaven for Mom. It was colorful and cheery. When Mom woke I gave it to her. She was pleased. I explained that she may use the passport whenever she is ready. "We are all cheering you on," I explained. Then I went to the bathroom and puked. And puked some more. I rinsed my face and walked back into Mom's room. She held out her hand, weakly. "You are stronger than you think, Therese Elizabeth Lourdes, my baby." Then she fell back into a sleep.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

cynthialynne;1543929 wrote: Hey all~

It's been a whole day since I checked in here, and I notice a difference in my strength. Today I have been af for 14 days, but today has been a struggle. My friends went on a bike ride and hit happy hour. I felt so sad not to go. It was really warm here today and it sounded so fun. They all have 2-3 drinks on a patio and then ride the bikes to the next pub. It has always been a tradition on Wed. nights. The last few Wednesdays it was raining so I didn't miss out, and that saved me. Tonight I knew they were out and I almost caved, playing mind games with myself...If I only have 2 drinks that's acceptable.

Bottom line...I didn't go, I had myself a pity party, and then started in saying to myself. I can't believe I can't ever drink again. I can't believe I can't drink like a normal person. On and on...same stuff I read other people here saying.

I feel better now. Tomorrow morning I will feel EVEN better not hung over and hating myself. Tomorrow will be 15 days without a drop of alcohol. It is a good day to reconfirm my commitment, and go over a plan for the next half of the month. I can't get complacent.

~Cyn

Hi Cyn,

I was in a similar situation last night. We have a couple's group who party once every month in such a way one if them becomes the host and organises a dinner and all of us contributes. It's been a tradition since several years now of drinking and drinking ...

This month (yesterday) they all decided to go out of town and for an overnight stay and not just a dinner. I though about not going ... But then it took it as a challenge ... Surprisingly I was not worried about me not able to carving but was more worried about what will I tell them ... As to why am I not drinking. I simply said I am on detox ... They asked for how long .., I said don't know maybe 15 days ...

Believe thought of not drinking ever even scares me ... And what I am trying to do it tell that part of myself ... Hey "you may drink someday but not today....not for next few days".

I can't say whether directly confronting situations like this is a good idea or not but in my case I have been drinking more along than with friends ... S if I can restrict myself not drinking for 11 days .... I figured I can sure control myself when everyone is around ...

[Alby]

Newbies Nest

It's time

I have been fighting this day for years. I finaly realized it is time for me to quit this crazy alcohol thing. I already got clonazepam from my doctor. I am also going to schedule meetings with a physciatrist. I know to take small steps one day at a time. Any suggestions?

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1544129 wrote: [COLOR=Navy]

Last night she said to me in her weak voice, "Baby Tess, death is the same as giving birth. We do not like the pain. But the pain is forgotten when the tiny infant is in our arms. We are so happy to hold the baby." Then she paused for a few minutes. My head was lying next to her on the bed. Suddenly Mom said, "This time I will be the baby. I will be held and cherished."
COLOR]

Dear Tess - my heart aches for you. I can't imagine the pain of losing your mum - but just wanted to say how amazing that she has such a faith and how beautiful her view of life and death is. God bless both of you. x

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Your mom sounds like an incredibly wonderous and beautiful woman, Tess. YOu have immense fortune to have her in your life. :h

And I know you know this but drinking will only diminish this profound experience you are having with her. I am sorry to say that I completely drowned my experience with my mom when she passed and I have deeply regretted it.

Think of you. Sending prayers,

:l

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Tess,
Hugs to you and your family. It's so hard to lose a parent, they are our heroes.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Thinking of you today Tess.
I know it's difficult for you to witness, I was with my Mom when she passed as well. You are providing her with the love & comfort she needs right now. You will be OK :l

Hello to everyone stopping in & welcome to Alby!
I suggest downloading the MWO book from the health store here on the site, that's how I got started.

Lav