Newbies Nest

[available]

Newbies Nest

No never negative Moss, everyone has an opinion. I've been all over the place, not wanting to drink at all but the temptation has been great so been just typing crap on here, well feels like crap but it helps me. Wouldnt it be lovely if we woke up "normal" and the urge, the want, the need were gone. Maybe I need to be hypnotised as i love that.

Stay strong and chat soon

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Trinity I hope you make tomorrow your last day 1. Not drinking is worth the effort. Every moment of discomfort that comes that first week. And then you start feeling like living again. Be strong and follow which suggestions you find in the tool box that help you through this crisis.
C-d I was thinking about you today. I hope you are hanging tough.
Mossy great to see you and Available standing so strong.
I don't think anyone gets this thing the first time. But as stated before not giving up is so important. This was the first holiday I can remember that I actually looked forward to sharing with hubby. He's taking his ab and hanging tough. It's so pleasant to have the real him with me again. Not drinking alcohol has so many benefits. The example you set for friends and family is so positive. Real relationships are rebuilt. I damaged so much by drinking. Each day is a blessing. Waking up on weekend mornings without those feelings of shame, regret, & embarrassment. It feels like waking up to Christmas morning. It's honestly the best present I ever gave myself.
Have a good one everyone.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

MossRose;1552189 wrote: I felt like I was being negative and didn't want to bring that to the boards. This quit has been rougher than most for some reason - physically and mentally. But back and here with you all the way. Stay strong.

The general topic of backing away from MWO when you're down has come up in a couple threads recently. My conclusion is that it is a risky thing to do unless you know that for some reason posting is going to make you more likely to drink than not posting.

It does not really make sense to remove ourselves from support when we need it most. The reader of a "negative" post might be sad or concerned about the poster (or might disagree with the post) but that is nothing compared to the consequences if a person who is down and isolated decides to drink.

None of us is perfect (obviously! :H). This is a safe place to be yourself.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I have had one long & busy day, haven't had time to read back.
Anyone having difficulties, please don't stay away! MWO has always been a great resource for me & still is even after 4 1/2 years

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest ~ hang on tight!

Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in..end of day 2....feeling good: impatient but good. Really feeling for you, Trinity....I've undone many day ones and twos and threes.... Start again..... this is my 3rd time here this year! My goal right now is 30 days. I just want to feel 30 days.
I had several triggers today....all passed .... It's particularly difficult since I am quitting w/o hubby or kids knowing so my impatience /irritation seems out of place to them ... Cause you know hubs doesn't think there's a prob w my drinking
1. Irritated when my expectations are not met or are frustrated
2. And something about the evening and deserving a break.... Trying to out my finger on that one more so I can fight it better

Eating helps a lot!!!!!!! Day 3 tomorrow always hardest Cause i think im doing well so i must not really be an alkie........oh you know the thoughts.Good luck all

[TheSunFlower]

Newbies Nest

K9 I concur...that drinking poison is not normal Drinking something that dehydrates the hell out of you....not normal.....it is taking a drug. Took my brain a long time to understand that!

LB....glad to hear hubby is on ab.

Trinity...hope you are feeling better and remember posting....so you can return to see all the support.

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Hey Guys and Gals,

Vegas Day 2 is almost in the books, and it was a crazy ass day. This Hotel is enormous, and I probably walked a solid 2 miles just attending various speaking events, manning our booth, attending meetings and lunch/dinner socializing, etc.

Virtually everyone else is still downstairs getting pounded, but I managed to sip on pelegrino with lime for the entire night without arousing any suspicion, and after everyone was good and sloshed, I dipped out and headed back upstairs to here at the room. This bed is SOOOOO friggin comfortable! I could almost pass out right now just from laying on it.

Tomorrow should be a virtual carbon copy of today best I can tell, but tomorrow nights social event involves us going over to a huge sports bar at the MGM Grand to watch the opening game of the NFL season (Ravens vs Broncos). I plan to use a similar technique that I did tonight and then dipping out back to my hotel after the guys make their move to go to a strip club or after hours joint.

Honestly, I am fairly impressed at how easily I have been able to avoid all the craziness that is this town, but I am not getting cocky by any means. I think I said this yesterday, but my main goal here is just to do my job and get back home where I do not have the worst temptations in human existence staring me in the face 24/7. If I can pull this off, I am confident that I can handle anything.

Thanks for the well wishes guys.

C-Dev

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters! I'm happy to be waking up early on the morning of day 5-- slightly groggy because of my head cold and crazy dreams. But so far from hungover I could sing! Wish I could hold a note--
CDev, great going last night. You really did it, man. Passed the first test with flying colours and are ready to conquer tomorrow in the same way. Good work. I'm sending super strength vibes your way!

Available, your plan to go to the shops early was a good one. Thinking ahead with regards to al has not been my strong point-- and then there I stand without a plan and end up in the middle of a series of new day ones. Right now I feel strong and I know I never want to be in that place again. But from years of experience I know the stinken' thinken' can come out of nowhere. I'm on my toes this time, determined to get it right. For me that means staying here in the nest and posting every single day regardless of how I'm feeling. I've also often stayed away while feeling negative because I don't want to bring others down. Or when I've been on cloud nine because I'm afraid of how people struggling might feel. I always get so much insight from the posts here--from people in every stage with every mood.
We do deserve a LIFE! and that's exactly what we are giving ourselves when we stay on the chosen path of being sober. Completely sober--

Trinity, I want to give you a big fat hug.:l Like everyone has said, we know how you feel and won't judge you. Today is another chance for a day one. You are not a horrible person, you are not a bad mother--you've not done irreparable damage to you son, you're struggling in the grasps of the beast. You've realised you have a problem and that it's bigger than you'd thought. Getting even a bit of time without al will allow you to see more clearly. I'm no expert on soberness, but I won't give up trying for the life I want and I know I will get there. I'd been struggling for a day one, putting it off with excuses because of this or that occasion--my dads visit, sunny summer days, the beginning of the week, the beginning of the next month-- always tomorrow. and then drinking way more then normal knowing it would be my "last" day ever drinking. Finally I said ok, this is it. I just have to get through today, this one day. I don't have to worry about tomorrow or next week. Just this one little day. And on that one day I sat here, with my kids playing around me, and read the entire day-- still not being convinced I was never going to drink again, but being inspired by people who have walked the walk. You can do it! You really can-- have you looked at the Tool Box Link? It's a great place for extra advice on how to get through those first few days. Stay close and let us know how you're doing.

Wishing everyone here a wonderful af day. super strength!!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Could someone tell me how i can get that little blue Toolbox link into my signature space??

[trinity8753]

Newbies Nest

Morning all thankyou so much for your support. I back on day one as most of you know after last night which was a complete disaster:upset: But whats done is done. I think my day two was a complete farce really because in the back of my mind i had planned all day to have a couple when we went out for tea and i took my bank cards with me knowing i'd be at the shop afterwards. This time its different, no more sneaky plans and taking one day at a time trying to be AF. My hangover is still lurking which is horrible. Ive just phoned the other half at work and told him im quitting drinking for a while (ideally i never want to go back, i know i cant moderate) but for some reason he is coming up with excuses for me and trying to talk me out of it saying i can moderate. He likes a drink too so i think he is worried he will be losing his drinking buddy, but as ive said it doesn't ruin his life like it does mine. I know he will support me though if thats what i want. I'll have a look at this toolbox if i can find it. Just currently tying to deal with a tantruming toddler which is not easy whilst hungover.... i really dont want to be doing this again

[trinity8753]

Newbies Nest

Ive just put him down for a nap and just watching him walk up the stairs holding his teddies has made me cry... he's so wonderful, it breaks my heart that im like this. Ive tucked him in and promised him he will never ever have another morning like this. I know he doesn't understand but ive told him im sorry. I really really am so sorry. I think the best thing i can do now is have an hours sleep myself and try and feel physically better a im exhausted. Ive just cleaned my teeth to get the horrible booze taste away. He must think i stink. an hours sleep and then a shower. ive made his lunch and then we can go out shopping for some food as ive hardly anything in.. even though i spent a fortune on booze last night. We are going to have a better life:h

[available]

Newbies Nest

Life i have no idea, i'm lucky to favourite links lol. I had to have a plan this morning as Thursdays are my busiest at work and i knew a bottle would be on the cards. Still feel like one now but not leaving the house. I am lazy like that so i suppose AL is not going to win tonight.

Good to see you on here Trinity, we have all had plenty of Day 1's and survived feeling ashamed and guilty and worthless but upwards and onwards. Its that demon on your shoulder that gets you and you have to tell it to just "fuck off". Think of how you felt Day 1 with no hangover and how you feel today. I have a vague memory of the hangover and i even say to myself now, oh it could not have been that bad. Yeah right, they were shocking and just to function is a chore. Before you think of a drink think of what it wil be like the next day and how your body and mind will feel. You are here you want to do this so take each day as it comes. No advice on hubby as I dont have one, probably a reason for that! Be strong and take care.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Morning trinity. Hope your nap helps that hangover. Get on that tool box link and read and then make a plan. Know what your having for tea tonight. If your going out to eat and it puts alcohol on the table perhaps consider not going out. Ask hubby to be serious in helping you. If that means no cans for a while at home then so be it. He needs to be able to help and support not suggest moderation. Does he know how much you're actually drinking? - the half bottles of rum? And in mornings?

You're the only one in control of your life AND your sons. He needs you especially as a toddler- they are so demanding :-) I know. I need to stay sober for mine
Keep posting reading. Have you had a look at some books to help? I read Jason Vales book and it really opened my eyes. People have also me filmed Allan Carr and there is one called ' calling time on wine O'Clock' Perhaps havin a book to pick up instead of a can may help?...

Hope other nesters are staying strong and safe! Good on yor plan available- every little thing helps.


I am glad I didn't have a glass last night when I went to meet a Friend for dinner. She had a glass but I guess she can stop at that. I loved the feeling of not thinking constantly a out where my next drink is going to come from. Typiclly I would have said to her to order bottle. She can have one and I would've has the bottle! I had some ginger ale- and it was yum!

Still bleary eyed this mornin but can see snippets of the clear awake eyes coming through. I know my body is healing as I am still so dog gone tired.

Stay well nesters x

[available]

Newbies Nest

Min I know how you feel, my daughter would bring a bottle over and have a glass and i would happily guzzle the rest plus more or if i didnt want her to think i was drinking i would b tired and go to bed early and have a bottle in my bedside drawer to drink so i got totally pissed. The things we did.

I am still tired. so tired when i get home from work then get overtired and then have weird dreams and wake up bone tired again but i am feeling so much better, i just wish the thought of one drink just one would go away but this is what i love about MWO is it gives me strength to carry on.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Available- that one drink will lead to so many more. Take heed from my 6m relapse. I was Over a year in and still got caught! You just have to think where that one will lead! I know I can't moderate or be a social drinker. I have the kind of personality which works on 'all or nothin' I think with that I should use the nothing approach to AL. It was actually hard - like you always thinking of one- or the dinner companion etc. but then it just becw second nature- I can't recall the figures but read it takes a few weeks (months? ) to rewire our brains. (Sure someone will fill in the figures) it is amazing that the rewiring even occurs. And thank god it does!

Like you are doing- changing habits around Al consumption helps. Know when and what triggers helps. Also having a plan to overcome these. I have a challenge when I go home this weekend. I am alone most days with toddler and hubby works long hours. I use AL to alleviate boredom and to keep me company. I have to remove this habit that has snuck it's way in!! It has I guess always been on my mind that the reason I drink is this but recently I have identified it and accepted it. I am hoping this helps me battle through.

Keep strong! You have anther day under your belt xx