Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Checking in as AL calling my name.... Hi Jennie welcome back .... If they executed us for slipping I'd be deader n dead.... Thx strong for kind encouragement .... 13!!!! Welcome - the decision is hardest part and first few days but this is a great place to start!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome 13Sept, glad you found us. Dive into the Tool box & take what you need to put a good plan together for yourself.

Jennie, glad you decided to post. You know what you need to do

MossRose, hang in there, we have your back!

BH, not sure what you meant by the nest not helping you. Please take care of yourself.

Ican, ignore AL - just don't listen!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone.
C-d I was glad to see your post and to know that you're beating al. :thumbysup:
Ican I'm glad to see you.
Mossy thanks.
Byrdie you are priceless. Many times I just can't think of how to say something and you get it right every time.
Trinity I know how hard it is to quit drinking when everyone is still partying like there is no tomorrow. But that's just it. I want my tomorrows to be hangover and embarrassment free. I am telling you it can be done. My hubby was really upset when I quit but now he is joining me. Odaat. That's all I can count on. I hope you find that determination to tell al to leave you alone. You want your life back. We are cheering for you.
Available You are hanging tough. Good job.
Bhalo look for my pm.
Have a great one all.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1552517 wrote: ...but I am here so something inside of me is telling me that this has got to stop.

It is so good to see that you're back, Jennie. You've stopped before and can do it again.

:h NS

[Sake123]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone - This starts day one for me again. Jennie - Welcome back!

I had written a HUGE diatribe about my anger and frustration and how life is just too hard sometimes. But after my rant and rave I must have hit the wrong key and it all disappeared. Talk about irony, eh?

I don't have much to say that everyone here hasn't' hear a million time before. Finding the desire to stay sober has been difficult. Even looming health concerns don't seem to be doing the trick. That scares me, that I care so little. I have a 8 year old child and husband to think about. But that freaking bottle of booze has a hold on me.

Anyway - Just popping in. Day 1 here we come!!

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Sake 123 day 1 will soon be yours I'm sure. Jenniech, remember the comforting place the newbies nest is, we've all been there, I'm with you, but we are back to set our lives right. :l

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 done..... Hang in there everyone .... Being energetic and happy today bc not hungover was AWESOME..... Trying to keep pain oh hangover in minds eye for now .... But damn I feel good .... I want 30 days I want 30 days I want 30 days !!!! Chanting to myself and to y'all ... Night

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters,

Day 3 in Vegas in all but in the books. After the conference, we went over to the MGM Grand to watch the Broncos vs Ravens game. Everyone got blitzed (as expected), and got really rowdy as the game heated up. By the beginning of the 4th quarter, I was already getting poised to make my escape. I was sipping on Pelegrino with lime all night long, and, once again, I managed to stay off everyones respective radar. I even went so far as to act drunk so I would not arouse suspicion, and I think my performance is deserving of an academy award

However, I did do something tonight that I am not proud of, which is kind of lame, and puts a tarnish on an otherwise successful trip thus far. There is a female account manager from one of the other companies that I was chatting up both at the conference and afterwards at the MGM. We were sitting at a booth alone and it was not long before my arm was around her, and then not another 20 min and we were hardcore making out to the point of making a scene. I am not sure how to describe why I got all animalistic like that at the drop of a hat, as it is not normally in my nature. After giving it some thought, I think I somewhat understand it now. In retrospect, I do not think i have kissed a girl while sober in damn near 2 years. After she kissed me the first time, it was like something in me snapped and 2 years of repression came raging to the forefront.

In any event, I am sure my coworkers are not going to let me forget about it, and I wish I would of been more a a gentleman, but there is not much I can do about it now. Plus, since she lives in New Jersey its not like I can date her in any reasonable way either.

The positive is that I am still sober and am back in my room relaxing on my comfortable bed watching ESPN and getting ready to drift off into a coma-like sleep.

Tomorrow is the last day of the conference and then we fly out Saturday morning. I am on the homestretch, just got to keep taking care of business and I am home free.

C

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1552495 wrote: I'm not sure I understand, either, BH. I hope everything is ok....now I'm worried

Trinity, good to see you up and around. Hope everyone is staying strong and making a good plan for the weekend. Hugs, Byrdie

I am sorry, thanks for the concern, Byrdie and everyone else. I am going to be brutally honest. For the first time, I crossed a major hurdle in spite of the posts in the nest, not because of them. Yesterday it would have been all too easy to come back here at day 1. I am two months sober, but almost thought fuck it. I was that close.

I know if I had I would get the support, the warm wishes, the excuses and not the arse kicking I deserved. I know I can't drink. I know what I have to do. It's not easy.

I almost gave in because I knew you all would make it better, say it was okay for me to fall down and get back up. It's not what I need to hear. That's what I meant, and I am sorry if anyone is offended.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey CD- great you're doing so so well and good on you for not having a single drink! How'd the Ravens do. I am a fan! So this kissing- would this mornig have been much worse with a hangover? I would think so. If you had been drinking would it have been the same night? I have have had numerous encounters I not proud of in my youthful days. Until my husband I don't think I had been with someone for even a kiss unless smashed! You're on the right path so don't knock it. Congratulate and be proud of what you have achieved.
Well done on day 3 I Can. Hello halo and welcome Saki. And everyone else I have missed. Am just waking up next to my lovely toddler! al free and the way I want to be :-)

Jennie- welcome back. Always safe to start day one than to never have that hope:-)

Available - stay strong! Yes it is Friday but really it is just any other day! Like I suggested to trinity- get lots
Of treats and fun foods in. Perhaps book
Movie or whatever and look forward to the Evenin. Rather than the dread. I normally find if I eat around 5.30-6pm the cravings aren't too bad. Sort my toddlers bed and bath and then around 7.30 I am thinking of AL again. If for this I have Something in plan another half hour or hour and I can say oh well- nearly bed time. I hope some of that helps.

Off to start Friday. Stay strong people. Keep thinking of those horrible hangovers shame guilt and actions we took whilst intoxicated. I am sure I will be needing reminders when the devil calls xx

[available]

Newbies Nest

BH yes i do agree also there is nothing like a "what the fuck did you do that for". The encouragement is really good but the shame and embarrassment is also horrible if you fail. I dont know BH what to say but you are doing really well and congrats on that and if you fuck up then too bad so sad, get on with it again. Like everything in our life but in saying that this is an addiction.

Hope you call in and say hello from time to time i will miss you.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning fellow Nesters!! We had such ugly end of August weather so t's so nice to wake up hungover free to enjoy a gorgeous, sunny autumn morning. and I have the day off!!

Jennie, I am also glad to see you back! We don't really know eachother but I do remember reading your posts while lurking. I'm also back on day 6 today, and as Lav said, we know what to do! I hope to see a lot of you here. I know now that when I begin to have thoughts of straying from the nest, it usually means I'm getting set up to drink again. I've never made it to a year, or past 2 months for that matter, but this time I'm so determined! Welcome back!

I can, great going on day 3! 30 days is a great goal. It's mine right now, too-- it was one day at a time, and still is, but now day 7 is right around the corner and I know it's possible. I look forward to seeing you here every day--

hi Available! Do you have a hard core plan for the weekend? I was never good at making plans-- they were always half assed and not specific enough. I still don't know exactly how to make one., but I will try. From my past failures, I think it's important to know what our triggers are, then have a specific plan for how to handle it. Make the commitment, as Byrdie says, to have no alcohol this weekend, no matter what and no matter who!! I love the advice you've given Trinity-- I've taken it on for myself, as well.

Minstar, isn't it the most wonderful feeling in the world to wake up fresh and clear with your little one? It's priceless. It's joyful to be there 100% for your child. After days and weeks and months of promising myself it would be the last time, I've managed, too, and i want to keep it like this. I want to be there to show my children a different way.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

CDev, great job on staying AL-FREE in Vegas!! I love kissing sober so I can completely understand why you were out of control!! Just one more day for you there, and then back to safe grounds! As you said, if you can do it there, you can do it anywhere!

Bhalo, I sort of understand what you are saying. Do you mean you want to leave MWO or just the nest? I remember, the second or third time I really tried to quit, after a week or so, I became very affected by people falling off the wagon over and over again-- I thought, damn, I just want to do this! I don't want to have a thousand excuses for myself! It made me feel a bit depressed and hopeless. So I instead posted on another long term abstinence thread, which I loved, but wasn't quite ready for. Now, that I have failed again and again, I understand more how difficult it can be, and am happy that I am welcomed back into the nest. I only know for myself, that if I want to drink and decide to do it, it won't matter so much as to whether or not I get a real ass kicking in the nest!! Or anywhere else for that matter-- at least that's what I've shown myself so far. Having said that, there is often a bit of an ass kicking from Byrdie and Lay, but in a gentle way, with support. You have 60 days, don't you? I'm really happy you had such a nice time with your friend-- I hope that if you decide not to post here, you will fly by sometimes to let us know how you are.

Welcome to the newest newbies!!
Huge amounts of strength to everyone to kick AL out of the picture!

[available]

Newbies Nest

LifeC i am just taking a day at a time this weekend. I dont know why i want to drink as i feel so good and i came straight home so i am safe here. tomorrow i will go and do coffee with my daughter. Days are fine for me it is after 5pm that i just want to obliterate myself out. So a quiet night eating shortbread,watch tv and go on fb. Maybe not a good diet but so sugary and yum. I know what you mean about staying away from here it means dangerous thoughts are going on in our brain so i plan to be on here for the weekend.

CD congrats on you sobriety. I had to have a chuckle about getting carried away with the girl but shit happens and maybe she enjoyed it also. Did you ask yourself that? Attention from someone sober is always better than someone blind, if you arent blind yourself, then you dont really give a rats.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Bhalo when I fail I kick myself so hard in the butt it just doesn't feel right to make someone else feel worse. But I understand what you mean. If I drink I want to be told I am an idiot. It is not okay. I have to do better then that. I am capable. That's what I want you to tell me.
Thank you in advance.