Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Available! One day at a time is the best plan! I will be here a little bit less this weekend because of work. But when I'm at home I will be here. And when I'm out and about you will be on my mind. I definitely don't want to be starting another week one on Monday!!! No way no how!!
Hi Beagle-- great Avatar! is that your doggie?

[available]

Newbies Nest

God the Day 1 again is scary to say the least and im feeling good though still tired and headachy but that will pass. My gums used to ache after drinking so it feels good in tht respect, so many positives i could list.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Great idea, Available!! List them.. I would love to hear. Unwasted posted a great short video link on her thread, if you have a chance to watch.
see you soon

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

broken halo;1552627 wrote:
I almost gave in because I knew you all would make it better, say it was okay for me to fall down and get back up. It's not what I need to hear. That's what I meant, and I am sorry if anyone is offended.

Congratulations on passing a major test, BHalo! You are now stronger than ever :goodjob:.

I agree that we should not set the bar in the nest too low - the kindling effect is real and at any time, a person who over-drinks could harm or even kill themselves or others. I personally don't think we should use the word "slip" - it is always a choice.

That said, a person with the courage to try again should always be welcomed with open arms and hearts. Posts can be supportive without excusing what happened.

It is a thin line between condoning a behavior and tough love but overall, I think most posts in the nest get it about right.

I hope you keep posting here. Everyone has a different perspective and way of phrasing things - you never know who you might reach that others here have missed.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & happy Friday

Got a little extra sleep this morning, nice for a change!
Work, exercise then lunch later with my daughter - nice

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday.
Make it a good one!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, Nesters!
Broken Halo, you bring up a very good point, one that has been debated on the boards for as long as I can remember. I think it's all a matter of perspective: To a worm, digging around in the rock hard dirt all day is a lot more relaxing than going fishing! If you take a spin over to the mods boards (and I DON'T recommend that for newbie's) you will find one word over and over....JUDGMENTAL. Back when that section was extremely active, they would say that they weren't being supported over here, that our zero tolerance attitude was uninviting and very unsupportive. Well, I'm afraid they were 100% correct. We are NOT here to teach you how to drink better or try to be more in control because that ship has sailed. BUT, we are NOT here to beat you up either if you fall, I have been in that seat and it is some shit! I stayed away for weeks as a result until I figured the only one I was hurting was ME!!! Dang! But here is how this place works best.....if you are finding yourself having those thoughts, come here FIRST. You will see firsthand the asskicking that we CAN deliver! If we can prevent you from taking that first drink, our job is DONE! If you have already done so, what good does it do to tell you you are a failure? No body can make us feel any worse than we already do. If Lav had told me that I mays well just give up and drink, what would have happened to me? She was tough, but ALWAYS supportive. She NEVER gave me a pass that what I did was ok...but told me how to fix it so that I could do better. When you know better, you do better. It does NO good to kick someone when they are in the lowest possible spot. So I can see your point, yet I can't.
What I do see, as Lifechange pointed out, that when people put distance between their support network and their problem, the problem usually wins. This thing we have takes ongoing support because the rest of the free world can do what we are trying our best NOT to do! I don't care if you have 2 days or 2 years, this takes support! This takes positive reinforcement that what we are doing IS the right thing! I tried to do it by myself for 25 years and we all see where that got! WORSE!!!
Do I apologize for being in the Newbie's Nest at 961 days? HELL NO! This reinforces me, too! I see firsthand what can happen. I know that I am one drink away from this hell all over again. ONE DRINK!!
So yes, we are supportive, but tell us what is going on so we have the whole story...then we can all pitch in and help! A problem shared is halved and a joy shared is doubled.
Stay close, nesters....off to check the roll call I think we have some awards today!!! XXOO Byrdie

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Well said as always Byrdie ..... Checking in bc day 4 and weekends are always hard for me so I am going to remind myself that 2 weeks ago I had to drive my daughter an hour away to gymnastics and I was hungover and felt shaky, tired, headache, dull lifeless and washed out .... Popped aspirin all day .... 1 week ago same thing and slept my Saturday away .... This Saturday I am going to have lots of energy and go dress shopping w my daughter for her first date and then watch my little boy in his first football game .... Man AL sure stole a lot of energy from me!.... C.... Great job in Vegas .... If your bag been drink you might have woken up in bed w that woman and a hangover!!! Been there and it sucksssss...so a great kiss is nothing!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Had been drunk is what I was saying ...

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello all! Hope you're all well. How's your evening going available- little worried
Being Friday night and all.

Byrdie- well said- I agree that what BH may have learnt, shared will potentially help others! Please let us know BH how you are doing.

Trinity- haven't heard from you so please your base of you can. I hope you're enjoying a fun day with yor son

Ican- stuck close to the nest. I am sure support and encouragement will help you get through the weekend. X

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie, you have such a way with words. So perfectly clear, right on the dot.

Ican, thanks for the reminder of exactly how you (and I) felt 2 weeks ago. So looking forward to a beautiful Saturday. First date? Can I ask how old your daughter is? I'm wondering when first dates come these days. Are you all nervous?

Hi Minstar!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Oh no I'm not nervous... She's 14 and we are driving them to a school dance. They eat as a group at a dinner and then go to the dance .... I probably won't let her go on an alone date for several years. I'm not big on my girls having boyfriends in high school bc I think you miss so much .... Not to offend anyone that does... Just my opinion....so far they have listened! Have a great weekend

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
My doctors appointment is at 1:30 EDT. I will report back with whatever they say....I think they will want to do yet more tests but we will see. I feel pretty good and am sleeping well. Guess that is all I can ask for right now.
dottie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Happy Friday Nesties!

BH - I agree with Byrdie, you do bring up a great point...and one that has been debated MANY times over. I am almost at a loss for words on how to phrase this. LOL We don't encourage moderation in the Nest, and we try to be understanding when people "slip"...but that in no way makes it "OK". The regular posters in the Nest have even been called "Nazis" when we've asked people to please NOT talk about how they are still drinking. That's not to say that we don't want people to express how they're feeling after they've drank, as long as they are trying to quit. We've had some people posting regulary about their drinking escapades and they had no intention of quitting. That is not helpful for people that ARE really trying. I am probably talking in circles here. LOL The point is, if a person is trying, really trying, we will give our support 100%...but if they are not, and it's apparent, they will get a big asskicking! We'll never tell someone is was ok that they drank, but we DO understand the nature of this beast. As long as someone is committed to kicking this beast to the curb, I know that personally I will help them for as long as it takes...no matter what. I hope my ramble made sense...and I hope BH, that you will stick with us!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey life change :-) keep sticking at it. Rememberin the horrible hangovers. Blinding headaches nausea
And sickness is a great way of reminding where we never want to be!
K9 I agree with you and the PP on not being 'soft' when someone drinks. There is a zero tolerance to it in this thread but also a compassionate empathetic place when we've fallen. I know pretty much 100% of us here have fallen. Sometimes you also need a gentle hand and voice tellin you it's alright to get back up and try again :-)

Dottie - hope your appt. goes well x

[trinity8753]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone I hope everyone is ok and having a good Friday.


Ive been at work all day and have only just logged on. been reading back through the posts and I realise that its been me going on about drinking. I honestly didn't mean to cause any upset to anyone... like I said on a previous post Ive literally been on my arse the last few days and been a total mess. If i hadn't come on here i'd most likely be drinking now as the other half has just gone and bought himself some al and is drinking with our neighbour. I would usually be out there too but im just going to stay inside away from them. Our neighbour is a massive weekend binge drinker and keeps a house full of spirits that he will ply you with to keep you out there with him talking shit until the early hours..... as much as i want a drink i also realise how sad that sounds, the only reason ive really realised that is because ive been on here. Its pouring down and freezing too.

Day two of AF for me and im feeling ok. Still a bit fuzzy around the edges and feel a bit low but overall i feel better...... and im not standing outside in the drain drinking under a brolly either.......
Take care everyone xx