Good evening nesters it's been way too long. I am excited to announce that today is my 100th day AF. I joined here in June after I was 11 days AF on my own and starting to feel I needed help. I learned so much, and I'd like to share a little.
I quit smoking back in 1987 when I was expecting my son. I had smoked all my life and had never really tried to quit before that. I knew if I had one cigarette I would be a smoker again. I knew I would never be a now and again smoker and I knew I never wanted to go through withdrawal again so the only solution was never to have another cigarette.
When I came here I wasn't sure I was quitting forever. I just knew I needed help. The more I read the more I came to realize that some people can't control their AL and I am one of those people. Sure some people can take it or leave it, but I'm not one of those people. I couldn't imagine having one glass of wine, or one beer. I wanted 4 or 5, but I would settle for 2-3 if I had to. I was never rock bottom, but I knew AL had control over me. I would order another glass when I'd already had enough. I would talk to myself all the way home about why I didn't need to drink that night and still find myself stopping at the LCBO, or opening whatever I had in the house. I would drink myself to sleep every single night. I would run out of whatever I was drinking and move on to whatever else I could find in the house.
I came here looking for help and I found it immediately. I read about all these happy AF people and I was jealous. I wanted that happiness but I thought giving up AL forever sounded so drastic. How would I survive without it in my life? Every meal out, every celebration, every sad time, every lonely time, every holiday, every Friday...what would I do with myself?
I filled in the time as the days went by. I started Spanish lessons, I walk every day, take yoga classes, I am now listening to hypnosis tapes at night and trying really hard to repair my relationship with my hubby. I find time to get things done, I make phone calls, I stay in touch with people. I am different. My life is better, more fulfilling, more productive.
I have survived 2 baby showers, a camping trip, numerous family gatherings, dinners out, fights with hubby, lonely nights when I'm on shifts and the house is quiet. I am enjoying my company and finding new ways to pass the time.
I wake up feeling pretty much the same every day. Thankful. I fall asleep thinking instead of passing out with the room spinning.
I came here looking for help, and now it's my turn to pass on what I've learned.
If you're lurking, or you're new here don't be afraid. Life after AL is better than you can imagine. Sure there's some discomfort in the beginning and no it won't make all your troubles go away, but I assure you life will be better and more fulfilling than you can imagine.
Go for it. If I can do it, so can you!
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