Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Nothing showed up on the CAT scan so we still have no answers…but glad they didn’t find anything.
Dottie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hope everyone had a good day!!
On the road tomorrow, so I'll be scarce, but thinking of you and will check in when I get home. Stay strong everyone! Whatever it takes!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Howdies nesters .. I hope everyone has their feathers fluffed up nice and cozy

Well some more good news folks. I found out about 2 hours ago that my wife filed for the big D.

So the long story short is that the Big D is in progress (phew)..She is asking for Full Custody across the board (Score one for Dad as NO Court in the Country would do that ..in fact most see that as a sign of unreasonable action without a good cause ) ... She has been unreasonable in the boys visitation ( add few more points on my side of the podium ). She did Not inform me of the Filing ( eh..half a point to me due to more unreasonable action on her part .. oh this is getting me all warm and fuzzy )...She home schools which is not a bad thing in and of itself but is frowned upon when both parents do not agree (I was never for it ) and...Drum roll .. She Is ROOTING ALL her actions due to my addiction to AL. Um.. the courts look at the Safety of the children and their living environment and Not the the problems between spouses ( ding ding 2 more for me ).

Basically the best case scenario I could have ever had hoped for.

Im feeling confident that any Judge is going to look at her and tell her that she is out of her freaking mind.

So I got a good 7th Bday present I now Know whats going on and can deal with this Much more reasonably in my mind. See before I was clueless on how to proceed in this whole shitstorm.

Oh what a great relief off my chest guys. really.. I have a clear path to the end now.

You guys enjoy the rest of your night ..

Dave

[djdevo]

Newbies Nest

First time here or anywhere

Hello All,
I am trying to find a reason to do this. I used to really want to be sober or a social drinker, but lately, I can't seem to find the will to find the will. Its like all the booze and all the hiding and all the making up for being drunk has finally caught up to me, and the all the Redbull and Insanity workouts and faking tooth aches to avoid my sweet husband so that he won't smell my drunk breath, just add to this overwhelming exhaustion that I can not longer shoulder. I am spent. I have emptied my life of real relationships because I am so ashamed of what I have become. My oldest daughter, a 5 year old, asked me why my breath smells weird last night, and my only solution to that horrific life moment was to kiss her, cry, and go chug some more rum. Wow, I have hired so many therapists and never been able to tell them this truth because I really just wanted them to like me....hopefully you will like me, or I will become able to not give a shit!!!! Thank you to anyone that can help me start this process.
djdevo

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters. I haven't had time to check in much lately here. I have a feeling I have missed a lot. But hope everyone is doing well. C-dev, I did see that a big woo-hoo is in order. Congrats on 30 days. Gambler and Fisher - way to go on 1 week. Gambler, I am sorry to hear that your wife filed for divorce. There's really no such thing as an easy divorce. I just went through one myself. So when the emotions hit, turn to us and stay strong!!

djdevo - I am so glad you are here. Welcome and sending hugs because you sound like you need one. From one "people-pleaser" to another, one small bit of advice. Care more about yourself right now and getting yourself free from AL, than what we think. I have found the people here to be totally non-judgmental. So, post your honest thoughts - the good and the bad, even the awful - and we'll be here. When I first joined MWO, I was so used to keeping secrets and wanting to be liked that I had forgotten how to be honest. I've learned that being authentic is the only road to recovery. You can do this and we'll be right beside you. xx

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

OK, still not there....what the frick is wrong with me .... really? yes i know what is wrong with me....mind over matter is so much harder than I thought
I am so sorry to let everyone down....especially myself.
tomorrow is a new day....and I hope I do what I know I need to do....NOT DRINK

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, djdevo

Like Moss said, you need to like and love yourself again. Right now it doesn't sound like you do.

A few days of not drinking will help you see your situation much more clearly. You are worth the effort it is going to take to set yourself free and you've come to a great place to get this done.

:welcome:

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

MossRose;1557716 wrote: Gambler, I am sorry to hear that your wife filed for divorce. ... So when the emotions hit, turn to us and stay strong!!
Thank you MossRose .. but I dont think you understand.

My dearest friends Please dont be sorry..please be happy for me. Very happy. I was not joking when I suggested it was a Gift. .. lemme see here one sec I want to pull something up..brb.. here is me on my "I dont know thread"

gambler;1556102 wrote: Conclusion:
I think for me is its not about fighting to get AL Out of my life .. its more like I am trying to fight Against the Emergence of DAVE getting back INTO my life.
AL and all the other things/thoughts/emotions that manifested from it was a part of DAVE. So All of those things are going to have to go.. ALL of them!

This is more than becoming AF for Me. Its a Major life changing event that is unfolding that I have been fighting against for too long now...all out of fear. AF is only one Result that consequently happens to be a Part of this event.

You see.. I Knew this back when I wrote this..I knew I could not stop it then.. and now it is finally in motion. Im am so overwhelmed with emotion of relief and Happiness oh god I have been longing for this moment.

I have no resentment towards her what so ever. Whatever emotions she wants to deal with .. feel sorry for her ..shes going to need it. I feel bad for her actually.

The only hard part about this is my boys and how they will deal with it. I will talk to them and rest assured they will understand and feel everything will be ok. No worries.

Im better now than ever :h

Full tilt DAVE .. Yessssss

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Jennie- please stick around. Give yourself a chance for 7 days and you could be back to feeling like you did before. You know it is worth this hard part at the beginning.

:h NS

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1557723 wrote: OK, still not there....what the frick is wrong with me .... really? yes i know what is wrong with me....mind over matter is so much harder than I thought
I am so sorry to let everyone down....especially myself.
tomorrow is a new day....and I hope I do what I know I need to do....NOT DRINK

jenniech
Thanks so much for posting and staying with us - I hope I can find that courage and strength if I fall down the rabbit hole. You are still here - that means so much. Don't give up - you CAN and will do it. Hang in there. How about posting before you take that next drink and let us support you, or know what is going on. Hope you are safe.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

gambler;1557727 wrote: Thank you MossRose .. but I dont think you understand.

My dearest friends Please dont be sorry..please be happy for me. Very happy. I was not joking when I suggested it was a Gift. .. lemme see here one sec I want to pull something up..brb.. here is me on my "I dont know thread"



You see.. I Knew this back when I wrote this..I knew I could not stop it then.. and now it is finally in motion. Im am so overwhelmed with emotion of relief and Happiness oh god I have been longing for this moment.

I have no resentment towards her what so ever. Whatever emotions she wants to deal with .. feel sorry for her ..shes going to need it. I feel bad for her actually.

The only hard part about this is my boys and how they will deal with it. I will talk to them and rest assured they will understand and feel everything will be ok. No worries.

Im better now than ever :h

Full tilt DAVE .. Yessssss

Congrats, Gambler - I didn't know we shared the same 'birthday' - you seem so much more 'mature' than I am!!! I look to you as one of my pillars, man.

I hope you have a lawyer that is an advocate for men's rights. I've seen too many men lose custody of their children because they believed it was so obvious that they were right. You've fought this far, keep on going. All the best to you, and congrats on your 7 days sober.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

djdevo, welcome aboard! It sounds like you are like most of us, it just wasn't' fun anymore....drinking is just harder than not. You will be amazed how a couple of AF days will make you feel totally new and full of hope. Read back a few days here in the nest and get to know us, also dive into the Tool Box for 100's of tips and coping skills. This site is a treasure-trove of information.....7 years of stories, many just like yours. So have a seat, make yourself at home, and welcome!!

Jennie....I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know....but dig your heels in and do not give in no matter what and no matter who. Take the choice of drinking off the table....tonight, it's just not an option. If Oprah were offering you 10 million to stay sober the rest of the week, do you think you could do it? Dam right! But what you'll get from doing it is worth MORE!!! I know you can do this....I've seen you!

Good to see you I'm Strong! NoSugar, welcome back, we missed you....
Gambler, here's to turning a negative into a positive! Hugs dear man!
Byrdie

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Evening Guys and Dolls,

Thanks again for the well wishes, it is very kind, and to Byrd, you have been such a wonderful person for looking out for me, especially early on.

C

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

C-Dev, CONGRATS to you as well today ~ awesome quit

Gambler Dave, you sound incredibly happy considering the news you just shared. I hope everything works out in the best way possible for you & your boys.

Hello & welcome djdeva! Glad you decided to join us. You have young children who need a healthy & sober mother. Get your plan together to improve your life & theirs as well. You'll never be sorry.

Jennie, you're still hanging on to AL even though you want to quit. Just let go, that's all you have to do. You already know life is much better with a clear head & heart. Stick around now, oK?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - hang on!!!

Lav

[dryer]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters

Jennie please stay online. For the man to get to the moon they had to use 3/4 of all the energy they used in the entire trip just to bust out of the gravity pull, that initial burst.

Is the question to drink or not too drink? or a choice between liver problems,hangover dui etc.. or being free, in control, peaceful etc..


I know if I choose just one drink it means I am choosing death, a big fat gut and a big red nose. I'll just have water right now, please.