Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

C-dev good job on 30 days. :wave:
Dave keep ot up. 7 days is great.:wave: I think you have a great attitude. Getting back to yourself is what it's about right? Being the best person you can? Am I understanding you?
Dottie Belle glad you are doing so great. You sound positive and that makes me feel good for you.
Jennie sorry you are having a tough struggle. Just hang in there and post here before taking that drink.
Bhalo good to hear you are getting such great exercise. That really helps doesn't it.
I'm tired. Had a set back with hubby. Very depressing. I hate seeing him hurt himself. But I will not drink at this problem. That will not make it better. Only worse. We are still fighting this war. My arsenal includes mwo. Thanks for being here everyone.
.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

djdevo;1557715 wrote: Hello All,
I am trying to find a reason to do this. I used to really want to be sober or a social drinker, but lately, I can't seem to find the will to find the will. Its like all the booze and all the hiding and all the making up for being drunk has finally caught up to me, and the all the Redbull and Insanity workouts and faking tooth aches to avoid my sweet husband so that he won't smell my drunk breath, just add to this overwhelming exhaustion that I can not longer shoulder. I am spent. I have emptied my life of real relationships because I am so ashamed of what I have become. My oldest daughter, a 5 year old, asked me why my breath smells weird last night, and my only solution to that horrific life moment was to kiss her, cry, and go chug some more rum. Wow, I have hired so many therapists and never been able to tell them this truth because I really just wanted them to like me....hopefully you will like me, or I will become able to not give a shit!!!! Thank you to anyone that can help me start this process.
djdevo

DJ
welcome and glad you found us! Hope you don't mind a few comments I thought of after reading your post:
Looks to me that what you've become is AWARE that there's something amiss. What a strange thing that we all seem to have in common: such a problem with a such a simple solution, stop doing what it is that makes the problem: stop drinking booze, the poison. The solution is simple. The action taken to create the solution however meets all kinds of internal arguments, external pressure from friends, families, stress, multiple excuses. Well SCREW them, health and sober decision making far out weigh any debate that bastard beast can make.

Good luck to you and keep checking in here, there are lots of folks willing to help and listening ears and big hearts.

Best to you
Sam

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!
Welcome to DJ-- glad you've joined us in the nest-- like everyone has said, getting a couple of AF days will change your outlook and give you some strength.

Glad you're back, too, Jennie--it's such hard work at times, but so worth it. I'm just on day 18 but it's getting easier to fight off the cravings. To believe in myself, that it is possible for me to do what I set out to do. I had to change my mindset from thinking about the possibility of drinking again to I will NEVER drink alcohol again and I will never change my mind. That doesn't mean it never enters my mind-- but I do know it's what I have to do to live my life fully and happily. 30 days is important, I think for anyone questioning whether or not they have a problem. That's what everyone says!!

Off to work now-- wishing you all a happy af day--

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

LB, so sorry to hear about your hubby's setback. I hope things work out :l

DJ, jennie...don't give up on giving up! it's hard but so worth it.

I'm off to work, there's a right chill in the air this morning but bright skies and no rain

Have a great day everyone!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks everyone
it really is so stupid to do, so simple to stop, yet not.....
ok, today resolve is stronger
getting the rest of that bottle of wine that I did not finish last night and POURING IT DOWN THE DRAIN.....

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

done. poured down the drain.....that felt GOOD to do.....I am ready to stop the madness and to feel good again.....I can't wait for the fog to clear

thanks for your unwavering support!!!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters. Welcome newbies and oldies!
Jenniech - please dust yourself off and start afresh. Just think this could be your final day 1. Plan your evening with lots of good food and nourishing drinks so you are distracted. Catch up on that old book or programme. You will be amazed how simple planning will help :-)

Dj- I agree- you have to stay sober for your little girl. I have a 2 yr old and she is my main motivation. I wondered how she felt when I breathed my morning hangover on her. I don't want her to think that is normal. Nothing about drinking is normal at all.... I don't want her watching her mother get drunk and think it is normal or be embarrassed. I actually want her to grow up believe that it is a poison and not something far from things like heroine. That's just my thoughts so don't gun me people :-) take this day as your day. As I said above- for me having a plan is always a major helper. I make sure I eat and eat some more. Identify your triggers and take all temptation out of the house, once you have a few good days behind you the fog will lift. Keep coming here and posting.

Gambler and CD. Sorry didn't congrats you on your achievements! Well done! Pleased you are happy with those results Gambler. You will be able to tackle this new chapter free of AL and in a much clearer state :-)

Available and Life Change- hope your both doing well. How about you halo?

Sorry if I have missed people- I try to catch the thread twice a day and it still moves soooo fast!

AFM- nap time again! I am sure you guys must think I sleep loads. Most of the time I try to nap and then can't. My girl isn't going to nap today as she slept in. Think her molars are coming u so she was awake a couple of hour last night 3-5am. Not seen that hour in a while. Glad I was sober and able to tend to her. Poor mite!
Busy afternoon of acupuncture and then work so I will try and catch you lovelies later on.

Stay strong folks
:-)

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks minstar
Plan:
1. go to work until 5
2. pick up son from soccer
3. pop in for quick visit with mom next door - sparkling water instead of wine
4. make dinner with delicious sparkling water and lemon
5. eat!!!!! and quickly....will not wait too long to eat as that is always the witching hour
6. catch up on back episode of breaking bad
7. drive son to guitar lesson
8. get in pjs
9. finish breaking bad
10. go to bed early....

A nice and simple yet busy day.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy Humpday

Temps dipped into the 30's overnight - chilly! Had to turn on some heat for the new chickies ;_

Jenni, good plan for the day!

LB, sorry your husband has gone off his plan. Didn't you mention he was taking Antabuse or am I thinking of someone else? Keep yourself safe!

Minstar, one of my dogs woke up at 5 am. I let her out briefly then went back to bed. Interrupted sleep just seems to be the norm

Greetings to everyone else & wishes for a great AF Wednesday!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Great plan, Jennie - that level of detail is so important because the rational, logical, and goal-oriented part of your brain that made that plan and that will be heading off to work this morning is not going to be in charge when you drive home this evening. The only way to defeat that pleasure- and relief-seeking primitive brain is to have an iron-clad plan in place. And it sounds like you do !

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1557906 wrote: thanks minstar
Plan:
1. go to work until 5
2. pick up son from soccer
3. pop in for quick visit with mom next door - sparkling water instead of wine
4. make dinner with delicious sparkling water and lemon
5. eat!!!!! and quickly....will not wait too long to eat as that is always the witching hour
6. catch up on back episode of breaking bad
7. drive son to guitar lesson
8. get in pjs
9. finish breaking bad
10. go to bed early....

A nice and simple yet busy day.

Great plan! Maybe a little snack (fruit? cheese? nuts?) between soccer and dinner will give you a boost?:h

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

I think the withdrawal is over - a week ago someone asked me if I was detoxing safely, and I answered matter-of-factly "I don't have a physical addiction to alcohol, so there is really no detox for me". What an ass I am!!!! I am sure there is a thread for a safe detox in the tool box, but I'm not going to read it now because I never want to go thru that again! As I'm beginning to feel better and come out of the fog - I had no idea how awful I felt while drinking. Hangover, shakes, depression, fog, so many physical symptoms (not even counting the debilitating mental and emotional effects). This week was full of headaches, night sweats, nightmares, constant snacking on crap foods (last night for dinner I had buffalo wings and Pillsbury cinnamon rolls - I could not tell you the last time I ate either - can you tell hubby is away????) I really did eat nutritiously the rest of the day - I was alone, a bit stressed and packing for a trip, normally would require a bottle of white and a bottle of red followed by whatever wine was on hand. I had no idea 2 bottles of wine 4-5 nights a week for several years was actually going to cause a physical reaction when I stopped it. If you are on Day 1, please find out how to make your detox less painful - there's a wealth of knowledge here that I should have tapped into.

Coming here every day has been so valuable, seeing the number of 'return visitors' that insist that they cannot have "just one" is helping to crush my delusions that I can have an occasional glass of wine. My hurdle is that I need to believe that I can be alcohol free. I am not going to drink today. I wish you all a sober, joyful day.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Great posts overnight...
I'm off to the city today for bidness! Wish me luck, I sure need it! Our year is ending next week and the pressure is on! I'm so glad I am up to the challenge! I will do what I can do, and not numb out over what I can't!!
My dang dog got me up at 3....she's afraid of the wind (of all things) so I'm going to be a ball of fire today!!
Have a great day everyone!! Byrdie

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hey Jennie ... You really inspired me when you were here in feb .... Hang in .... I had 11 days this month and blew it by drinking AT problems and now I'm struggling to find resolve again. Good luck

[Stupot]

Newbies Nest

Happy Wednesday all!
Well, it should be. Day 13 for me, lucky not to have physical withdrawal symptoms beyond wanting to sleep 24/7 (not that unusual for me anyway), but finding it so hard to lead my life AF already! Usually have a weekly lunch with some friends from my HR dept - went today and my turning down wine was the main topic of conversation for the whole hour and a half!! I know, 'we' normally imagine others reacting more than they really do but honestly, this was huge! And knowing that I didn't have a busy afternoon ahead, all I wanted was to bury my head in a huge glass of wine (although believe me, my burger was soooo huge, I can't imagine how I'd have fitted in wine too!). And so that is a weekly struggle I will endure. I have been avoiding any evenings out with friends lately but I will soon have to surface and the same thing will happen. So I am left only with my 5-year-old daughter (awesome) and my boyfriend for (occasional) company.