Newbies Nest

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Well I went out Saturday night.

I am embarrassed and ashamed to come on here too write this.

I nded up going on a massive 24 hour binge. Alcohol and RD's. I lost all concept of time. The beast came out. Drink makes me do uncharacteristic things and I really do not like the personality that came out this weekend. It's like afake version of me.

Today I am depressed and cannot face anyone. Just feel like a waster. I feel selfish. I just want to get back to the point where I enjoy life for real. I know I have just knocked myself back 6 weeks. All progress lost.

All from having one beer at home.

[Daya]

Newbies Nest

You haven't gone back 6 weeks Londoner, you've learnt invalble things the last 6 weeks, which will stay with you. Don't beat yourself up, get back up on your horse and carry on as you where before.
I am still dealing with the fallout of my drunken drama 2 weeks ago...
People will forgive you if they see that you are trying... And making big changes is hard, and doesn't happen overnight.
We've all been there, chin up, old chap

Londoner;1562646 wrote: Well I went out Saturday night.

I am embarrassed and ashamed to come on here too write this.

I nded up going on a massive 24 hour binge. Alcohol and RD's. I lost all concept of time. The beast came out. Drink makes me do uncharacteristic things and I really do not like the personality that came out this weekend. It's like afake version of me.

Today I am depressed and cannot face anyone. Just feel like a waster. I feel selfish. I just want to get back to the point where I enjoy life for real. I know I have just knocked myself back 6 weeks. All progress lost.

All from having one beer at home.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and congratulations. It hasnt been easy but if i was not on this site it would never ever have happened. Life is good, i feel good and its an amazing feeling so thank you everyone for helping me on this journey.

Londoner sorry to hear about your fall our/down. Back to Day 1 and off you go again. Its funny how MWO makes you accountable for our actions. When I was on here last time and failed being AF i was more disgusted and ashamed in myself that i had let the nesters down here after all their support and i went off here and proceeded to drink myself back to where i was but nothing like realising that the support here is unbelievable when you stick around. If i ever fail again i will be like you and post and start again. You can do this, you have started, you can finish with being AF.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Did not make day 6. I feel depressed and that's not a feeling I like . I can honestly say that every time I do drink now I truly hate it where before I kinda thought it was worth it. At least I know I can abstain and want to more than ever. Sober life is way better - just chose not to fight the good fight last night. I will fight for it today - sorry to y'all and me

Londoner lets get up and dust off and try again

[Stupot]

Newbies Nest

Just a flying visit as I am actually hugely busy at work - finally, I have spent the past year bored out my mind! Anyway, I checked through my calendar and will have achieved 19 out of 30 days AF in September as of tonight. Which I am quite pleased with and now feel encouraged to go full steam ahead in to AF living. I am considering returning to AA meetings but it is difficult as a single mum to escape in the evenings, and the ones held during lunchtimes near work would have me out the office for too long. I just think a little something else would help keep me on track, although I have no wish to complete the steps. I will see. Well I hope everyone has a good day, will check in again soon.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Looking at my calendar, when I make it through today I will have 19/30 days of September sober. That's the most since February so I'm pleased with that progress

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Cross post stupot... We both have 19/30 let's try for more in October .... Lets stay sober in October

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

If you truly want to live an AF life you will find a way
The Tool box is an invaluable source, I suggest spending an enormous amount of time reading in there. Learning to ignore cravings is completely possible, distraction is key!

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!

Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1562695 wrote: Did not make day 6. I feel depressed and that's not a feeling I like . I can honestly say that every time I do drink now I truly hate it where before I kinda thought it was worth it. At least I know I can abstain and want to more than ever. Sober life is way better - just chose not to fight the good fight last night. I will fight for it today - sorry to y'all and me

Londoner lets get up and dust off and try again

Morning Ican
a thought about your post here,
maybe part of the deal is you're fighting the thought of drinking rather than nurturing the thought of sobriety. Very simplistic point of view, I know, but it just a shift in how you look at things, I say this because you seem on the verge of really making a commitment here.
Sam

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Yes samstone I agree... When I celebrate the sobriety and relish it there is no fight... Yesterday I fought the idea of drinking all day long... I was seeing drinking as a reward instead of seeing sobriety S the reward.... I totally agree w/Lav that if I want to be sober I will find a way .... And I totally get the shift in thinking needed... I didn't work hard enough on shifting my thinking .... I'm learning something new every day here on MWO thanks for all support and advice

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

I completely agree with Daya and Availble, Londoneer- there's no way on te planet that you have set yourself back six weeks or failed. We are your people and cometely understand. No one here has not been there... :h

Now, fill up several glasses of filtered water...brew peppermint tea (no lemon,, just honey) take warm wash cloths and lay them on your feet - this is ultra relaxing...and breath...and sleep if you can.

...oh, and stay close to the nest today. I know people will be checking up on you later.
:l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Big doings around here today! We have not 1, but 3 milestones to celebrate!! Will Dottie Belle, Lifechange and Available step forward please?

It's with great pride that I'm able to award these hard-earned hats to each of you....anyone that has ever accepted this mission knows that it does seems impossible in the beginning, until you do it. Now just rinse and repeat! Every single one of us knows how hard those cravings can be, but you all fought them off and succeeded! I hope this is only the beginning for each of you....because we ALL KNOW where just one _____ will get us. If you have any words of wisdom for our newbie's as to how you did it, that'd be great. There are no more compelling stories than the 30 day acceptance speeches! Congratulations to each of you!!!

Cue the Music.
Dot Belle: :goodtime:
Lifechange: :goodtime:
Available: :goodtime:

Well done!!
The Prize Patrol

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Congrats lifechange available and Dottie!!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Kdog! I hope you are just fed up with the rollercoaster of 'to drink or not to drink?'. Once that doesn't become the question of the day anymore, life is good. I simply took the choice to drink out of the equation. For example, I wouldn't drink gasoline because I'm sure it would kill me. Same here, only it's a slower, more agonizing death! It's just NOT an option for me. We are glad you're here! Settle in and get connected with us, there is strength in numbers!!

Gambler, thank you for the writing...so that guy DID write other stuff?!!! :H:H:H
I see his writing quoted quite a bit in signature lines around here! Maybe he was one of us??

Stupot, good to see you. If you feel good now, wait til you get AL completely out of your life! It's like night and day. You can't see it until you get distance from it tho....so make October Sober no matter what!! You won't regret it. Nobody ever regretted being sober that I've seen....

Hope everyone has an easy AF day!! Good to see yall!! Sam, always solid advice, I always mean to say that...this time, I'm writing it!! Hugs, Byrdie

[Further]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone. I found this community today because I believe it was meant to be. I drink way too much- nice craft beers primarily- and want to quit (I can't believe I actually said that- I never have before) or significantly get it under control if I can manage to do that, because I do enjoy them. I have struggled with this for years. I am so tired of feeling like crap. I am so tired of being so fat. I am so tired of not living my life because I am too busy drinking. I hope I can get some inspiration here. I plan to stop at our natural food store today and pick up some supplements. Looks like kudzu, l-glutamine, milk thistle, and 5-http are a good place to start?