Newbies Nest

[Further]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1563005 wrote: Thank you for the kind words! I think the first 3 days are the hardest...by the time you get to Day 13, you'll be feeling like a new girl!! Just stick close and if you hit a rough patch, get online and read! I'm a hardheaded Southerner, too...and even I DID IT! We're so glad you're here! Byrdie

I will admit to some confusion- it took me a while to realize all the discussion about AL wasn't about Alabama! I'm in B'ham, so I was wondering why everyone was hatin' on us!! Y'all have a good night- I'm going to retire early and get a good night's rest. I'm sooo looking forward to feeling better! I can do anything for 3 days, right?

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Welcome further! Hi gambler .... Hope ya got the it by fiberglass washed up... Glad you enjoyed your day at work .... I am safely sober for tonight .... Further, how much were you drinking? I think that affects your withdrawal .... Mine wasn't terrible but if you feel unsafe you should seek med advice

Byrdie- do you know where I can read your really old posts? So I can see your journey?

[Further]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1563007 wrote: Further, how much were you drinking? I think that affects your withdrawal .... Mine wasn't terrible but if you feel unsafe you should seek med advice

Usually anywhere from 6-11 beers at a time. Not much for alcohol or wine unless it's set in front of me.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hmmm ... That's my poison too

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1563007 wrote: Welcome further! Hi gambler .... Hope ya got the it by fiberglass washed up... Glad you enjoyed your day at work .... I am safely sober for tonight ....
Yup.. got all the itch off thank you I felt so good I went to the store and got some steak. I figured I saved the money for it .. time to treat myself to some top shelf cut. You really are a joy to see posting Ican.

Further;1563009 wrote: Usually anywhere from 6-11 beers at a time. Not much for alcohol or wine unless it's set in front of me.

Thats the same for me..carbon copy Further..beer and no spirits or wine and up to 12 a day. I found MWO on Sept. 9th @ approx 2am. I read and read until 11am on the 10th. thats when I signed up and have not had a beer since. I come here every day. Honestly I had 3 other forums of different natures that I had frequented but now its exclusively MWO. So if im not cleaning ( which when you stop drinking your house will be spotless ) or eating or anything else I am on MWO. I holed up in my home for a week alone with MWO. Ask anyone.. all day long for the first few days. I found for myself that It was hard yes..but not even close to as hard as it could have been. So that was what .. 19 .. 20 days ago ( I dont really keep count ) ? I have changed dramatically and my whole life is changing daily for the better. Avenues are opening up that could not be possible before..its hard to explain. Your life will change beyond what you can imagine in one week..7 days. After that things seem to change even faster..It did for me anyways..may not be the same for everyone.

Oh yea.. one more thing. There is One golden rule that the Nest kinda likes to impress on people and I personally hold myself to this rule .. Promise to POST here before you have a drink.

Anyways Im almost sounding redundant now so I will close this post saying that everyone here is not alone..You are not alone..Ever.. :l :h

Good night all and sleep well.

Dave

[available]

Newbies Nest

Thanks one and all for the congratulations, it is much appreciated and I could not have done it without any of you and i mean that very much. To know that we are ALL in the same boat and understand what we are each going through is comforting. I love the positive reinforcements and honestly I hate it when someone fails, they are sad and we are sad for them but if i can make 30 days with my friends on here, i can make 60 days. I'm amazed at the money I have left in my bank since i dont stop and buy my 2 bottles of wine daily (more over the weekend), how my skin looks better, my gums, my teeth, my personality (although times still bitchy), the shakes, the headaches, the unbelievable urge to have AL in the early days which has now also subsided but it rares its ugly head still. It is easier to say no thank you, not today, maybe tomorrow.

Welcome Further, enjoy the ride with us, its scary at first but gets better and as we all say "if I can give up drinking, anyone can". OMG i said "give up", wow i am impressed with myself for saying that.

have a great day everyone

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

I posted here a few weeks ago and then was too embarrassed to come back when I ended up drinking. I want to never drink again. Ever. But if I do, please bear with me. This is the toughest battle of my life and I'm having a very hard time finding my way out. I'll get there. Please don't think I'm not trying as hard as I can if I can't make it through a particular day. I don't want to be afraid to post here because it might seem like I'm not taking the notion of quiting seriously enough. Believe me, I am. I want to be that person who is able to give up alcohol and never look backs but experience tells me I'm going to have some mishaps along the way. It's only going to make my eventual success that much sweeter! In the meantime I will give it my best every single day.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for the congrats. It has been a good day...busy with laundry and chores around the house. Got a lot done...
I know this site was a HUGE help with this milestone..I have not been here that long but have always felt welcome and understood....
Newbies stay close and learn from the folks with more sober time....there is always something to learn here.
Dottie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Congrats again to today's award recipients

Hello & welcome Further!
Glad you found us, please settle in & make yourself comfortable. We're a nice bunch

Kailey, glad to see you again. Do you know why you decided to drink? Knowing your triggers will help you make a good plan. Knowing ahead of time what you will do in place of drinking is a big help. Stick around now, we will support you!

Greetings to everyone else & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all!
Lav

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Evening Guys and Dolls,

Tip of the hat to Dottie, Available and LC. You guys are awesome!

I had an out of the norm situation happen to me at lunch today that I figured was worth sharing, so here goes:

I have become very adept over the last month and change of shutting myself off from people and situations around town that remind me of my life before. Nobody likes to be reminded of their mistakes right? I think that is what turned me off from AA quite frankly. I am sure the dynamic of about every AA group is different, but the ones around here seem most concerned with wallowing in misery and despair. As if it is some sort of competition to "one up" one another as to who has (or had) the most fucked up life imaginable while drinking. Needless to say, I have yet to go back to that place.

My daily policy of quarantining myself from people and/or places that cause me to feel upset, remorseful, or flat out like a total douchebag had been fairly effective until today. I also have been riding high on a wave of testosterone fueled by a religious like regimen of pumping iron, rocking cardio, and focusing on proper nutrition. Hell, lately I have felt so damn good I have had to fight the urge to avoid becoming an arrogant bastard

All of that changed in a huge hurry on my lunch break today. I have been making my lunch in the mornings
to bring with me lately. It gives me the chance to pack a protein laced salad, and is also far cheaper than eating out all the time. I would of done that today also, but I woke up late and did not have time after getting around and getting suited and booted for work.

There is a carryout place a couple of blocks from the office that has great salads, so I strolled out of the office at 12:30 today to go pick up my carryout order. As per usual of late, I was feeling like a million bucks as I was strolling down the sidewalk with my iPod jamming without a care in the world. I had a tailor take in my favorite suit on Saturday since it was fitting like shit from losing weight and today was the first chance I had to wear it. I guess about every guy has their favorite suit and necktie combo, and it just gives you that extra little kick of confidence when you wear it. I was sporting an ear to ear smile and saying "hello" and "how's it going" to virtually every person I passed. I was literally thinking to myself "can life possibly get any better than this?"

After I got to the restaurant, I held the door for a person coming out and strolled inside and got in a line to the counter to score my food. What ensued lasted maybe 2- 3 min, but it felt like hours.

I turned the volume down on my Ipod, checked the email on my phone, and was in the process of scrolling through my apps to find some mindless game to kill time while I was waiting to get through the line when it happened.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the glance of a female server who was staring directly at me as she passed by with a tray of food on her way out to apparently serve patrons on the outdoor patio. Her stare was like an icepick through my skull, and it took a few seconds for my brain to process who this person even was. As cognition of my history with this particular female began to wash over me, I was so stricken it felt like I was about to have a panic attack.

During my early tenure in the windy city when I was downing drinks and bottles of rum like a frat boy with a tape worm, this girl unfortunately had to endure some of my most sinister breaks from basic humanity. I do not want to get into the gory details, but suffice to say that I lied, cheated, used, and humiliated this poor girl in ways that would make Larry Flynt blush.

By this point, my mind was racing, and worse still, she kept making eye contact with me that was impossible for me to ignore. Her facial expression was not one of rage and unadulterated anger (though she certainly has every right to feel that way) but one of sorrow and bewilderment. As if to ask me "why" ?

My neck tie began to feel like a noose around my neck and I could feel beads of sweat forming around my hairline. Then an even worse revelation came to mind, the fact that after all the time I had spent with this poor girl, I could not even recall her name. I do not think I have EVER in my life felt so low and miserable.
I walked out of the restaurant and headed back to the office.

After getting back to work, I was tormented so badly that I could not get much productive accomplished. It was as if I have been infected with a virus of the brain. I headed to the gym after work, as per normal, hoping that my exercise routine would help eliminate some of my metal anguish. I admit it did help while I was lifting and running, but the second I was out the door walking back to my car, the flood of emotions was back like a dam break.

After I got back to my apartment tonight, I laid in my bed and cried for a solid hour. I can't even recall the last time I have shed a tear, and I lack the understanding to even describe how upset this whole situation has made me. Talk about going from an emotional high to a new low in less than 24 hours

I vaguely remember some one in AA talking about making amends to those they have wronged. At the time, I wrote it off as yet another in a long line of emotionally laced diatribe, but maybe they are on to something.

Sorry for such a long and rambling post guys, but I had to get this off my chest, and, quite honestly, I do not have anybody else in my life I can talk to about such matters.

C

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Wow CD that's tough. I think it was probably healthy for you to cry and feel remorse over something you feel was wrong .... I think now that you are sober, the real you w/ morals and values is able to surface and that's a good thing - people w no remorse or empathy are sociopathic .... Alcohol prob shut your true self up for a long time .... I can't tell you whether amends are the way to go bc idk but it sounds like she was part in the decision to participate in whatever it is you're regretting now so you can't completely blame yourself .... Not sure if I'm making sense ... I think regret is human and healthy and we should t drown out our feelings with alcohol but be fair to yourself on whether it was entirely your doing? I guess that's it...

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

C-dev wow that is rough. I'm sorry you feel bad. Al is a life stealing bastard. He takes but does not give. But I am really proud of you. You are changing your life. Many don't. Look at how far you have come and just know that you won't do those things again.
Congratulations Dottie Belle, Lifechange, and Available. You guys are wonderful. This place is so much brighter for you being here. :wave::wave::wave:
Lav I tried the L-glutamine and it made me swell up. Badly. I gained like 5 pounds in a week.
Hubby's B-day today. His first af since I've known him.
I am working on my positive attitude. My dog Pip is really happy the past couple of days. It's encouraging me. Also I think the iron in the cream of wheat I've been having for breakfast is starting to kick in. Its hard to feel positive when you are run down.
Ican I loved Sam's post on embracing the positive aspects of being af. That's honestly how I tried to approach this thing. But I really admire your tenacity.
Have a good night all.

[available]

Newbies Nest

Wow CD that must have been tough but i so admire you for your feelings of regret and the worst part must be coping with "was I this person, was I this arsehole". Yes you were with AL in you. I have been there and done that many a time with men but the majority i met didnt care that i was drunk, didnt care that i really didnt want them, they just didnt care, just another body to use and abuse and i was so drunk i didnt care either really. Now i do care and so do you and what a difference it makes. Dont dwell on it after this, everyone here has done so many things that we regret and if there was a "lineup" we could stand in to "take things back" it would be a very long long line. You are not that person now and i am thinking this is going to make you more determined to be the man you have become,a good man who deserves to find the right woman who you will respect and love unconditionally. Whatshername was not that and all the whatshisnames i have met were not that either. In the 30 days i have been sober i have met a nice man who doesnt drink, where will it go or lead i dont know but its nice. Oh and he does have a name i remember lol. So many I dont.

Ramble all you want, it is good to let go and move on. Just dont turn to the bottle to solve your emotional dilemma please.

LB thank you for the congratulations, been a rollercoaster ride but it has been fun to have my friends with me. Congrats to hubby being AF and happy birthday to him too. What was his decision may i ask? Must make it so much easier for you both to be AF.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 for me guys ... Boredom again ... Will hang on and looking forward to a sober day ahead ....

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Hello, I am back after a couple of months. Had my first AF vacation since 1971 during August. It felt GREAT to have fun and remember it and not be all grumpy.

Lots of new people here. I have read only a little - it'll be nice to get to know you all.

Have a great AF night.

-S-