Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Things I do not miss about drinking:

Waking up with a hangover and spending all day exhausted, sick, and miserable
Shuffling fridge to hide how many beers I drank
Running to store to get more beer before hubs returns to hide how many beers I drank
Hating kids needing anything after start drinking
Planning driving around drinking
Seeing empties in recycle
Losing memory of night before
Trying to be perfect in front of kids n hubs so don't know how much I've had
Forgetting what I promised to do
Sneaking extra beers when no one looking
Abusing Advil bc powder and whatever else to make headache stop
Being fat
Worrying about health

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Sorry you're going through a rough patch Ican. I do know the past couple of weeks have been really rough for me. I am finally starting to feel a little better. Honestly I have been trying to look at things as positively as possible. And keep smiling. I feel like a ravening lunatic, but it seems to be working. I really am feeling better. (also the extra iron might be helping). I hope you don't give up.
Welcome newbies.
Bhalo sounds like you are keeping busy. I am glad you are doing so great.
Nite all.
Congrats Minstar. 30 days is wonderful.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks LB and Lav always so encouraging .... Don't feel like drinking just don't like this blah feeling much ... I'm usually pretty animated or passionate about something but right now not so much... I'll be fine

[TJAF]

Newbies Nest

Rahulthesweet;1563060 wrote: Day 3 for me guys ... Boredom again ... Will hang on and looking forward to a sober day ahead ....

Rahul is alcohol really the answer to boredom? When you think about the universe of things to do with our time, getting drunk just doesn't add up. Not that I haven't felt that way when I was drinking but I now believe that drinking was just a cover for not having the wherewithal to dig deep and acknowledge the real reasons why I was bored. Its hard and I'm not there yet but I'm trying. Hang in there buddy.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters! Thanks Byrdie, Dottie, lavand, beagle and gambler. I am pleased to be here. A month ago I felt it was never going to happen.

For me this quit was hard. I had spent too many d1 thinking I will get back to title AF. Having done a quit before and stuck to it. I thought drinking again I was in control. Of course I was. I can give up whenever I wanted right? WRONG! I wasted many weeks and months trying to get back on track. For some reason a poster years ago mentioned it took them something like 7 months to get back. I remember thinking wow. How come so long? For me I felt so out of control. Like I knew I was going to quit so might as drink the whole gallon. I drunk fast and hard. Sneaking in bottles and bottles. I tried many times to quit. Would have a few days and then have some excuse to go back. I think it was key to NOT GiVE UP. Everytime I went back and started another day one I felt my resolve get stronger. I really wanted to get back on track but the lure- addiction- habit- self destructing behaviour... Whatever it is was the resolve was there somewhere. I spent all more time reading books and trying to find my triggers. Ultimately for me the conclusion is that I will ALWAYs have these triggers. That for me is the key. I need to learn to adapt to dealing with them in other ways. The other key thing is to come here and post and/or read. Coming back makes you accountable. I don't want to come back and let people who have helped down. I also think after a good few days under your belt, you feel better, look better, and are better equipped to deal with triggers and demons. With a few good days done I feel it harder to go back and say I'm on day one.

Ok enough of the rant! Sorry for typo and grammar. On iPhone ready to nap. Which brings me to the ultimate number one reason I can hold this quit....my beautiful daughter. I owe her a sober loving ever-present mamma. Not one who will be on the couch or in bed hungover. I hate to thinks she smelt stale alcohol on me of a morning. Foremost, I want her to think of her childhood with a mother who was there not drunk. Harsh reality is seeing a home where being drunk is accepted means she will think it is ok when she is older. I want her to be highly aware if all the aspects of drinking and our drinking culture. How can I do that if I don't lead by example?

So I hope some of that help. Mostly I hope it was coherent. One day I will posit from my laptop where I won't have as many typos! Lol.

I wouldn't be here if I didn't have someone to hold my hand. As always lavande and Byrdie. But also day oners at the time like available lifechange and countless other, who through their experiences and sharing on here , either knowingly or unknowingly helped.

I wouldn't be able to do this without the hand you at MWO extend .....

[available]

Newbies Nest

Min, so beautifully said and I know how you feel with everything you said except my children are grown up and soon i will be a grandmother (in a year or two). I will never forget a year or so ago my daughter said she would not leave her child with me. That hurt but i still kept drinking, thinking no i can give up. What is her problem. Her problem was my drinking that was her problem, mine was not realising I had a problem and it has taken me this long to realise that i would not leave my child with anyone with my AL addiction.

I have not done many day one's. I came on here a couple of years ago and did 11 days and then slipped. I did not want to come back on, i did not want to show people that i failed, that i had let them down, that myself had failed so i kept drinking. I did 11 days yeah for me, I didnt have a problem, i could give up anytime. WRONG! Two years later i was a wreck, I was only drinking from 5pm onwards, but nearly two bottles in five hours, what was i doing. I was getting worse and my health was bad. The shakes, the headaches, the anxiety, the dry wretching, the not eating, the blackouts, name it I had it.

Like you Min I came on here, I did not think I could make 32 days but i wanted to, I wanted to try and get out of this hole i was in. I was not me, just a few days would be nice without AL, i could be happy with that. It was awful, i cant fabricate the feeling of having no AL but I did it. It gets easier after time and it is great to have the support and its also a bit of a comp when you get a few days up, like LC, dottie and Min are at the same day. Buddies are good, you really want to keep trying. After 15+ years of drinking life without it is so much better. MWO has been a godsend for me and countless others, the stories all strike a cord. I still have a long way to go but if not for here i would be nowhere.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Minstar. Reading about experiences like yours helps me to keep my resolve to not drink. Getting back on track is extremely hard. I do know from personal experience too.
Available I am glad you came back. I also understand about not wanting to leave a child with someone with an addiction. I hate to tell anyone this but I don't even want to leave my dogs with hubby when he's on a bender.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

How long do you guys think it takes to get back to a pre-drinking state - mentally & phsyically?

Binge drinking tends to dull my senses to the real world and puts me in a zombie state for a while.

Just cannot wait to get back to the point of loving life naturally.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey available and beagle. It is important to come and share. We all have different life stories but one evil thing in common. Available- so pleased you came back and now look! As you said the 'competition is a sure way of helping keep on track. Beagle- I would be the same with anyone who has drunk and then is looking after my little one. I don't like it.
Well so much for my nap. Madame has not slept. Off for a full afternoon. I would not be do as my with my days had I had a drink. Thank you all for your endless help. Have a lovely afternoon xxx

[available]

Newbies Nest

Definitely agree Min and Lb if we dont share our feelings then newbies, like we all were, hide and dont admit the problem. I used to get frustrated with no replies to what i posted but there are so many posts and someone does eventually mention your name and you think "woo hoo" but i have always felt safe here and understood. Its great to look at all the posts off everyone and even if we dont form close bonds these guys are always regulars and its lovely to hear the comings and goings and frustrations and achievements.

The cravings at witching hour are basically not here anymore so that is such a good feeling.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

Holding on to our quits has to be our #1 priority kids!
Give yourselves the opportunity to feel proud & healthy, be there for your kids & family & anything you want to do

Londoner, I hope you are taking the best possible car of yourself. Drink lots of water, eat some good food & just treat yourself well. It's not possible to feel better instantly, we all heal at different rates. Please use this episode as a reminder for the future - drinking AL is bad for us - it's poison

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!
Lav

[Further]

Newbies Nest

A beautiful start to Day 3! I had some cravings yesterday, but just got busy and they passed. Kept saying to myself " I will not put poison in my body. " Smudged the house and myself. Visualized my body letting the alcohol leave through my pores. I am sleeping ok, but did dream I was in a store and a beer tap broken and it was poring all over. I stuck my finger in the stream and tasted it, and thought ho it tasted like poison. Hopefully that's a good sign for me. Hope everyone has a beautiful day today!

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Hi guys and gals just a quick check in while I rush off to work..

I had a few AF dreams for the first time last night. Funny I drank and felt bad in the first dream and the second one I fought it off. I had an episode with the X last night .. I think that set it up for those dreams.

Anyway just wanted to say hello and now Im off

Enjoy your AF day everyone.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Londoner it always took me about 10-14 days to completely get over a big binge like that. As Lav said different people heal at different rates. I hope you feel better and stay close here. I know that one beer in my environment would be my downfall. You are back with us and on the right track now.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

hello Nester,

It feels great to be sober. I am also so happy that I not having cravings. I guess last 44 days helped and only in a weeks time of drinking I realized I am heading in the pit again. A pit from where the way out is difficult.

Great to be out with family.

Happy day or evening to all of you.