Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys. I received a lovely PM from free and I apologize that I am going to copy and paste my reply here instead of an original post....Looks like lots of new folks in the nest - I hope everyone's doing great. Life has been busy. I've been waiting for it to slow down since spring. I am actually looking forward to cold weather so that I can have an excuse to not leave the house. ;-) Seems as if I run all day long...Anyway...here is an update from me.

Thank you so much for the beautiful note. I don't check in here as much as I should and I do honestly forget that I might be of use to somebody here. I am 2 years now - and honestly it was after yet another difficult spell for me also. This summer tested me for sure. And it really got me down because - well, because when the hell do you get PAST that??? The change in routine of the end of the school year and several other things - including confidence that I no longer have a problem (yeah, right) really pushed me to the brink. Out of sheer busy-ness - and a long visit from a non drinking relative I somehow stayed on the straight and narrow and came out the other side but damn! I wish I could say that the temptation is just completely gone one day. But for me at least - my motivation for staying sober varies so much. I have so many reasons for it that I have kind of learned to flip flop amongst my reasons - :H Some days it's so I can drive my teenager where he needs to go...some days it's so that I can be healthy...some days it's because I couldn't stand a hangover the next day...some days it's because I couldn't stand to see the old clerks at the liquor store as I walk in with my tail between my legs...some days it's because I have to help with homework....Now, most days I don't have to think about it but it's that change in routine that throws me off every time, still.

I will add that the adjustment to interacting with people has gotten much easier...in fact one of those previous reasons for staying sober includes that I no longer feel that false confidence in dealing with people after drinking....I lost that confidence and the thought of talking with people if I did drink scares me to death....the mid sentence lost thoughts, etc. My real partying days are pretty much over I guess....but in reality, they were more in my head than anything....it was never as it seemed to me - unless the entire world acts differently when I'm not drinking...:H I may copy and paste this in the nest - part of my journey was to not focus so much on this site and on drinking vs. not drinking and I still need to not spend a ton of time on the computer....but you did remind me that some check ins would probably be good for me and maybe someone else too....It takes a long time to feel "real" but I'm getting there.

hang in there Free. This trip is filled with ups and downs....I've yet to see where it ultimately leads ...but driving along is definitely a huge step in the right direction as opposed to just sitting there with the engine running.

:h lola

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Lolab, holy smokes! It's great to see you! I've always wondered how you were doing. Congratulations on your AF time. I hope you can post here when you get the chance.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Wow, Lolab! It is GREAT to see you! Congratulations on 2 years sober!!! That is huge! You are halfway to a Stella Award!! :chick: (Lav is blazing the trail for us). I am so happy that you are here, don't be a stranger! The world out there is harsh for us!! We all need support and to be reminded where one drink, however innocent, will take us. Thank you for coming by!!! I've missed you terribly!! Glad you are doing so well! :h

Ican, I lurked here for quite a while before joining, I hung around the Newbie's nest, early 2010...then I found the moderation section and thought how stupid I was NOT to have tried this earlier! I floundered around in the different mods threads for 11 days short of a year, I never drank harder than I did that year (like Minstar was saying...sort of out of panic or something...like I knew it was going to be taken away) and it finally was pointed out to me that I must STOP (by hubs.....with ultimatum). My perception is that I jumped into the NN with both feet and never left. But when I look back in the nest, I see that I was a sporadic poster and it wasn't until I hit 30 days or so (no hats back then) that I became a regular face here. Most of my early posts are in the NN. When you search someone's posts, you can only see the last 500, but if you search within the NN you can find my first posts here. Back then I rarely strayed from the nest....still don't!! Thank you for asking!

Minstar and available, please consider putting your 30 day acceptance speeches in the Tool Box! Those are really powerful testimonies to how a life can change in a short amount of time! Thank you for taking the time to write those! This is really a life altering journey (in a GOOD way)....thanks for sharing an intimate part of yours.

One day at a time!! Tru Dat! All you gotta do is get thru this day! And it gets easier every time you do! Happy Hump Day! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Nesters

If any of you missed Robin Williams on The Daily Show, here is a link: Robin Williams - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 09/26/13 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

It is funny but his experience of relapsing after 20 years of sobriety is one to learn from! This is a lifelong commitment that needs constant attention.

It is great to hear from you that you're doing well, Lolab!

[Further]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1563610 wrote: Hi, Nesters

If any of you missed Robin Williams on The Daily Show, here is a link: Robin Williams - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 09/26/13 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

It is funny but his experience of relapsing after 20 years of sobriety is one to learn from! This is a lifelong commitment that needs constant attention.

It is great to hear from you that you're doing well, Lolab!

Thanks for sharing that!!! FEAR- that's what it's all about. Face it, sometimes it's not as bad as we think, sometimes it is. Better to face it with all my wits.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Interesting. I never knew he had a drink/drug problem.

Can relate to him saying about relapsing and the monster saying we can have some fun now and he won't know about it.

Drinking really does take us away from reality.

That video has helped a lot in fact. I am starting to admit, that although I only drink socially (on weekends) that I DO have a problem. A problem that needs to be kicked in the bud before it turns into something far more serious.

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

gambler;1563590 wrote: Hi guys and gals just a quick check in while I rush off to work..

I had a few AF dreams for the first time last night. Funny I drank and felt bad in the first dream and the second one I fought it off. I had an episode with the X last night .. I think that set it up for those dreams.

Anyway just wanted to say hello and now Im off

Enjoy your AF day everyone.

Interesting. I had a dream Sunday night that I drank a glass of wine. Not only was I pissed at myself, but everyone in my dream told me how disappointed they were with me. OMG - that's what my dad used to say when I did something wrong and it was far worse than any punishment. When I woke up and realized it was a dream, a huge sigh of relief hit me. So the beast lives even in our subconscious. Incredible thing the hold al has on us.

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1563501 wrote: Thanks LB and Lav always so encouraging .... Don't feel like drinking just don't like this blah feeling much ... I'm usually pretty animated or passionate about something but right now not so much... I'll be fine

Sorry you're feeling this way Ican. I used to feel apathetic mostly when drinnking but every now and then it creeps into my mood even now. Exercise will help as it is a mood elevator. Or, can you deepen your focus on a project at work or home that can be accomplished quickly and will give you an elevator for a job well done? Just trying to think about some ways to get you engaged. Apathy could be a trigger, like boredom. (at least for me) What about vitamins or supplements - you taking any? When I first quit I was taking Sam-e. It's kinda expensive, but is a mood elevator and seemed to help. Just a thought....

Hang in there and let us know what other tips you're trying.:l

[Further]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1563499 wrote: Things I do not miss about drinking:

Waking up with a hangover and spending all day exhausted, sick, and miserable
Shuffling fridge to hide how many beers I drank
Running to store to get more beer before hubs returns to hide how many beers I drank
Hating kids needing anything after start drinking
Planning driving around drinking
Seeing empties in recycle
Losing memory of night before
Trying to be perfect in front of kids n hubs so don't know how much I've had
Forgetting what I promised to do
Sneaking extra beers when no one looking
Abusing Advil bc powder and whatever else to make headache stop
Being fat
Worrying about health

Ain't that the dang truth! Very good points. We should tape that on our foreheads : )

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Lola!!!! SO HAPPY to see you! I'm glad you're doing well. Your experience will definitely help others. Please don't be a stranger...love you lots :h

Ican - I loved your list. I'm glad to learn I wasn't the only one to get mad when my kid needed something during my drinking time...how selfish!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all,
Dinner is in the crockpot....taco salad meat, beans, corn, tomatoes etc..mmmmmm
I think dh expects me to do it all since I am home now....NOT.....he might be hungry some days...he will catch on eventually...
Puppy training tonight....she is so cute.....
Dottie

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

I am so tired of alcohol controlling my life. I have seen the wonderfulness that is an AF life, and I want to be back in that place again. Sorry to be a downer, but I need to be honest and I need to be AF again. Thanks for listening.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back to the building, Elvis.

We're still here for you. Pull up a seat and buckle yourself in...the first step is sticking close to us. Post when you are feeling shaky...we can get you through it. You know you can do this...and we believe in you too.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nesters

Lola, I was just thinking about you a few days ago ~ maybe around the time of your anniversary. CONGRATS on 2 years AF!!!! Check in when you can

Elvis, I finally stopped drinking when I got thoroughly fed up with it & myself!
Stick around, redraw your plan & hop on the sober bus!

Dottie, free yourself from the kitchen - he will survive :H

Have a great afternoon one & all.
Lav

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9 and Lav.