Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Great to see you, Elvis! Drag up a twig and join us! Sick and tired are just the right ingredients for success! It's just gets to a point where enough is enough. Glad you are here.

Dot Belle, what time is the fiesta? If I leave right now.....me and my taco shell can be at your door in 10 hours.
Londoner, good to see you back in the saddle!
I've said it many a time here....if I had been able to stop this madness when I was a Stage 1 alkie instead of progressing to a Stage 3, I'd have saved myself (and others) tremendous heartache. One thing I can tell you in retrospect...it's going to have to stop, the only unknown is 'when'. If you are smart (unlike me) you will do it sooner than later. I can't tell you the scars I would have saved myself (physically and mentally) had I stopped 20 years ago.

I am just finding out about another MWO death. Lamb777 joined us back in March. I understand she was 26 years old and was found in the bathtub with a lethal blood AL level. It is a crying shame what AL takes. Eventually, it robs us of everything we hold dear. If you have your quit going, don't give it up for anything or anybody....if you are trying to stop, do it now. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Take care, nesters and strength to us all as this battle this ruthless opponent. xo, B

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1563688 wrote:
I am just finding out about another MWO death. Lamb777 joined us back in March. I understand she was 26 years old and was found in the bathtub with a lethal blood AL level. It is a crying shame what AL takes. Eventually, it robs us of everything we hold dear. If you have your quit going, don't give it up for anything or anybody....if you are trying to stop, do it now. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Take care, nesters and strength to us all as this battle this ruthless opponent. xo, B

How incredibly sad is this. You're right Byrdie - This beast is ruthless and has no concern or love for us whatsoever. AL is truly a taker. Everyday is a gift and the choice is ours to make as to how we spend it. Productively and healthy or destructively to our demise. Prayers Lamb777 can rest in peace now and prayers to her family.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone

Elvis, it's nice to have you back, keep posting how you feel and let us help if we can :l

Byrdie, so sorry to hear of another tragic death at the hands of AL. I can't help thinking about her loved ones, such a tragic waste. RIP, I didn't know you Lamb, but I can identify.

I posted last night about AL making us selfish. I know my relationships with my loved ones have improved dramatically since getting sober, I would hate to think of putting them through me being ill or in danger because of my drinking. I have experienced it myself with close family members, why would I ever risk putting my darling daughter, my family through anything like that? Because of the madness that drinking brings.

It's only recently I have started to think about what the consequences to others might have been. Awful really.

I had another busy and productive day, after work I went to the gym with my daughter and had a really good workout and a really good chat afterwards. I really feel that I am now the supportive, ready to help Mum I always should have been. I know if she needs me, day or night, I don't have to fear being drunk, unable to drive, and too wrapped up in my drinking to do anything.

That's really the most rewarding feeling guys and it makes it all worth it

[Further]

Newbies Nest

Oh what a sad ending to a young life. Hoping Lamb777's family can find peace. Bless her.

[Elvis]

Newbies Nest

I am home now. Feeling a little better. I will feel much better once I get some real food into me. Still, Day One is never fun.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Elvis, as you know, eating is the silver bullet in fighting cravings and thoughts!! Make this your last Day 1! You are right, it is the WORST!
Hang on, nesters! It is worth it! Hugs to all, B

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks all. Byrdie- will try and post my message in the tool box tomorrow. Am tucked up in bed now. Sorry to hear of lamb777 I didn't know her but am shocked to hear. It is a stark reminder of what we are dealing with here. Just wanted to say night night nesters. Stay safe x

[available]

Newbies Nest

Good morning/night all. That is tragic to hear of lamb777 and just shows what AL can do to a person but so young. I have a daughter her age and I cant imagine what her parents are going through.

Today i am having a blah day, the weather here is shocking and does not help making one feel wonderful and blessed. I'd prefer to be in bed, tucked up and sleeping. The thought of a drink is crossing my mind so all of the strategies are in place. One would think after 30 days the thoughts would not be there but i know its normal. Experiencing a few stressful moments and that does not help either although i am at work all day which is a bonus and keeps me busy.

Have a great AF day everyone.

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Good evening everybody!

Day 3 and I am fit to be tied! I've been fine all day but the thought of coming home made me Sooo nervous! I guess because the usual routine has been to have the glass of wine waiting when I walked in the door with more to follow. That and there has been so much chaos with the step children and my husbands ex wife, the tension is always there. Chaos is using the term lightly. I have eaten takeout for the last 2 nights in order to cocoon myself in our bedroom and protect myself in these first few days. I never eat takeout, I love home cooked food.

Work is an outlet, as I get to see coworkers and deal with lovely and not so lovely patients. Lol.

I just got home and devoured Chinese. Although when I am not drinking, I eat about 1/3 as much as I did when I was. I could scarf it down!

I have talked to my husband about the very near future and having a "safe place" to come home and not have to hear about anything going on in the periphery- at least for the next few days until I feel a little more solid, stronger....

[available]

Newbies Nest

Cat i know how you feel, the first week was the hardest, i just wanted to be in my room away from everyone and everything and the witching hour when i used to drink was horrendous. One could not hurt could it? My brain tried to talk me into having a wine, it never stopped, so i stayed on here until I was that tired i then slept. Well not really slept either but tried. It gets easier although today is not a good day and as you point out feeling stressed does not help but the willpower then kicks in i suppose. My will power is being pushed today so i figure i will hang on here.

Be strong and you can do it, day 7 is not that far away.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Cat, I'm still hiding out every night in my room so move over!!! :H

I truly had to force myself into the kitchen to cook and I love to cook...but you're right...just being out there, among the savages was way to much. Some nights I just turn to my husband and say, "I'm sorry ...there's no dinner...and I'm not cooking...and I'm not doing the dishes either ..." and he says fine. No problem and orders a pizza...

Well, I can't go on like that- expensive and bad for us so last week I purchased a band new CROCK POT...I am really excited so you know my life is not rip roaring these days..
But I really am excited because now I can hide and have a great, healthy meal waiting for everyone when they get home!

This is a HUGE win for me. All they have to do is lift the lid and serve and voila! And I bought a big slow cooker so lots of left overs.

Oh and the best part!! Hardly ANY Dishes! :yay::yay::yay:

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

kradle dinner tonight was crock pot . love it. use it more in the winter so easy..
Dottie

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Dayum....the crockpot! I use it religiously in the summer because it gets so hot here! How did I forget that?? I just used it last week! And I have two of them! Thanks Kradle for reminding me! And you will have to move 4 cats, 2 bulldogs, and a husband to fit in here!!!!!!!!! Lol

Available, I will hit day 7 on Sunday, so I'm weary about the weekend. But....I have lots of sewing projects and a couple pieces of furniture waiting for some attention, not to mention weeds that need pulling. The weather is finall starting to turn a bit. 80 during the day and hi 50s at night, so a little cooler for outside stuff-

Have a good night y'all

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

sanchez;1563618 wrote: Interesting. I had a dream Sunday night that I drank a glass of wine. Not only was I pissed at myself, but everyone in my dream told me how disappointed they were with me. OMG - that's what my dad used to say when I did something wrong and it was far worse than any punishment. When I woke up and realized it was a dream, a huge sigh of relief hit me. So the beast lives even in our subconscious. Incredible thing the hold al has on us.
It was so vivid that when I woke up about 2am I seriously thought for a minute that I had actually drank. It was mostly the shame feeling of having to post here on the boards that I cracked .. then it happened again but there were others...like a camp site and I was extremely angry that they were somehow against my being AF. I dont know how to put it. Like they were dissapointed in me for not drinking anymore. I was so relieved when the alarm went off and I woke up to my AF groggy self.

Icanwithoutacan;1563501 wrote: Don't feel like drinking just don't like this blah feeling much ... I'm usually pretty animated or passionate about something but right now not so much... I'll be fine

Hey Ican.. I hope your more on your game today. Honestly I was blah yesterday too. I just wanted to come home and do much of nothing. I wasnt up or down .. just there. It happens more often now that im working hard and the house is basically cleaned up lol. Im still saving some things to do for "those times". PS. I thought you were a dude all this time :H

I agree Available .. that kind of news about a 26 year young pulls some strings inside me. I look back though and I could have easily been one of the statistics when I was in my late teens and early 20's .. its tough to think about anyone that actually died from alcohol poisoning/overdose.

Whats with all the Blah days all of a sudden ? Think for me its the October blues that I get when I see boats coming out of the water for the season. It means summer is closing up shop for the year. No more parties and .. hey wait a second ! No more parties ?! This might be a good time to change this winter into something more than holed up in the house not doing a damn thing ! Bubble bath time ?

Well everyone I had a great day with work and the things that are heading my way due to being off the sauce. There is no way in hell I could have landed a position like this being hung over playing day by day life. I see a partnership and eventually take over the biz. ( This is one of the highest profile marinas around this area.. very ritzy. Today I found out that we just got two Huge restorations coming this fall/winter. Were already booked so that hopefully means Hours which equates to a new place for myself and the boys. A new home is basically the last thing that doesnt have any connection to my AL life. Ill tell you guys..things are moving Fast in almost Every aspect in my life ( thanks to your help and for being here and everywhere ! ). What I mean is just not in the monetary means to an end.. but an all around scope of things. Ok an example: I had to transfer the title the car from my wifes name to mine today. We had it signed when she moved out 2 months ago so I knew that I was in for late charges. So while sitting at one of the most horrid places on earth ( DMV ) for an hour and a half just for a 3 minute transfer I got to instigating conversations with the others sitting there peering into there phones and wrestling back their infants from spilling milk all over everyone. Everyone within earshot started to lift their spirits and jokes abound ( which you know is almost a effort in futility in a place such as this ). We congratulated each other as there numbers were called and even started to offer our ticket numbers to each other for 5 bucks..I was 80 and the guy next to me was 78 . So as I finally got to the pole position in line my new found 1 hour friends cheered me on! It felt like great having such a change in the general mood of the environment for not only me but others. .. So my ticket was called and I gingerly strolled up to the angel of mercy..or pain ( depending on their "moods ). I was in great spirit as I finally met my Title Transfer Overlord. She just grinned and looked at me and then my documentation. I was braced and ready for the blow of the late fee ordeal as she slowly punched the buttons on the keyboard: of which seems like a direct link to my entire life. She says " Um.. who signed the Date on this title ?" Oh boy..here it comes.."That would be my wife." I said softly. After another quick glance and a moment that seemed to last for 10 minutes .. thinking this is the sweat tactic they use to make you feel like you really should go back to the end of the line she spoke again "Well this was signed back in July..". Replying embarrassingly I said "Yes ma'am .. I understand that there are late fees." .. .. She looked at me then shuffled through a cup-o-pens bringing out a specific "blue" pen that so happens to match that of said be late be document of ownership. She then proceeds to change the "7" into a "9" and with that she spoke with a smile.."No dear .. your mistaken ..its not late at all. .. That'll be 23 bucks. Oh and the registration is switched and is valid until it expires in November ". Standing there packing money back into my billfold showing my big missing tooth smile "Thank you very much". Grinning back "Your welcome dear..you have a good night." .. And that was that lol

So you see.. for me being AF and having my inner self beginning to shine through is having impacts on my life that I never expected. Small things..big things..everything. I truly believe that this is just one of the effects that we all get to enjoy as a bonus for our sobriety.

Lets keep on truckin and keep the course Guys! The future is what we make it..not how we take it..

Wishing everyone a splendid AF night/day..

Dave.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone .... Haha gambler I saw you kept calling me man! But nope I'm a woman ... Haha... I don't feel nearly as blah today and you say you do but you sound GREAT...I hope I will start attracting all that positivity soon

K9 nope you're not the only one who wanted the kids to fend for themselves .... Sad

Cat my day 3 too.... And tonight was HARD.... Almost went to the store several times

Byrd ill look up the posts thx!

Congrats to everyone making it!!!!avail lav Dottie Elvis further Byrd cd gambler Lola k9 minstar
BH kailey .. Hope didn't leave anyone out .... Love y'all!!!!