Newbies Nest

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Evening all. I've been busy today.
Took my doggies for our evening walk after dinner. The weather is finally almost comfortable to walk in the evenings. We were on our way back when we saw and older gentleman staggering down the sidewalk. When we finally caught up to him, he was sitting in the grass, one very bloody arm. I ask if he was alright. Very drunk he replied. He told me he was on his way to al store to buy a bottle. (the store I live behind). Well long story short I went and got his bottlecfor him rather then leave him or watch him get splattered in the very busy highway. Now this man is 71 years old. I got him home to his wife before he drank any. He snuck out on her after hurting her because she refused to get him more al. What a cheat that slimy bastard al is. Stealing lives like that. Not only his, but his wife's too.
Boy I don't ever want to get like that. Not drinking really is a blessing. And I am so glad to have someplace to come and people to help me.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

I can't believe that I have been AF since last 6 days. It seems like for ever. Not because that I am getting cravings or feel like drinking but because I dont !! While this is super good the bad part is there is a part of me who say "hey didn't I tell u ... U can control it and drink in moderation".

For those who dont know me I have been drinking daily for 15 years till about I reached here on these forums. I stopped and was AF free for 44 days and those were bright and fantastic days. Days filled with high self esteem, confidence.

Now on my second time being AF free for 6 days I dont feel that great at least till now. I am not getting the great high of not AF free.

Is it that I have accepted that I will live AF free so not to expect much
Or is it that I have accepted I can drink in Moderation And heck what the hell

I must not forget the days how I had to fill up my tank everyday
I must not forget the days how much trouble had sleeping without AL
I must not forget the days how much I was in love with AL so that everyone was not important including my family
I must not forget the days about all the lies and how I had killed my own character as a person.

I must tell myself its not OK to drink. I cannot go back the way I was. Even if I conquered one time its not enough.

I will be travelling to germany this month around 15th and was wondering should I go to a AA meeting there or maybe I should rent a car and drive down on autobahns ...

Its my fathers birthday today he turned 63. At his age he leads a a super healthy life style. No AL for months no junk food. And that's how I remember him ... Always

Hardly ever saw him in doing extreme ... Angry , or drunk, or eating too much

I guess I have a lot to learn from him
I have a lot to learn from you all
I must stay focused
I will be sober today ....

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks dryer I needed that!!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

So stupid. I don't want to keep coming here disappointing .... Ugh .... Horrible evening ... Report tomorrow

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I'm so sorry, Ican. You've really been making a big effort here to help yourself and support others. Please don't give up. Each time you're learning more about what you need to do. It will click. :h NS

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there Ican, and Rahul.
LB, nothing like reality slapping you in the face to keep one focused. Bless you.

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Its Friday and this is when I usually have a few drinks. Not today! AL is NOT gonna win today.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters and oh, how I missed you all!!

I just spent the past 1 1/2 hours catching up on how you are all doing and may not have much time to write-- after 4 days on the farm, swinging on ropes over a river, laying around on the backs of Clydesdales, harvesting pears, walnuts and potatoes, holding sleeping kittens, feeding brand new chicks, etc, etc, the girls are having a hard time adjusting to this city life and are at eachothers throats! go figure!!

Rebirth, glad to see you here this morning! Your plan to not drink today sounds great--that happens to be my plan as well. I know I will not EVER drink again no matter what and no matter who--when the times get tough I remind myself of that and of everyone here supporting me.

Super big CONGRATS to Minstar on 30 days!!! Very well done! I appreciate very much your presence here.:h

Further and Catbelle, welcome and welcome back! I think you must both be on day 5 today-- is that right? Just 2 more days for the whole week and your first prize from Byrdie. iI know we all ultimately make the decision as to whether or not to drink alone-- but it is so nice to have others at similar points in the journey to look to for support. It's made a difference for me this time, having Available, Dottie and Minstar with me. Hope to get to know you both better!!

Dottie, I hope the blues will let up a bit today- I saw that you also read the PAWS thread. We can't forget that this recovery takes time, can we? NS reminded me again that we can't expect everything to change immediately-it's been tempting for me to make huge life altering decisions this past month, which is actually quite crazy considering I'm just coming off years of abusing AL!(abama)--that was funny. I always think I would love to be retired-- but I can imagine (and have seen from many) that it has it's own set of problems. Did you already do that gratitude list Lav recommended?

Hey Rahul!! So glad to see you back--
BHalo! a big hello-- the workout and talk with your daughter sounds like such a good time! I'm looking forward to doing that with my mom when I visit her in December.
UHOH-- crying girl in the bathroom-- back in a bit.

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

So Fridays is my bewitching day. Time to "reward" myself for working so hard with wine. NOT tonight. Gonna break this habit. Tomorrow I will look at myself in the mirror and feel proud of myself for being so strong.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

rebirth, as adults do we really need to reward ourselves for simply doing what we are supposed to be doing? If you truly need some sort of reward think about going to a movie or something How's you son by the way?

LB, running into that older gentleman was really a 'gift' & reminder for you. I take things like that as a sign from the universe that we truly are on the right path. He was lucky you found him & saw him home safely.

lifechange, sounds like you had a great time & enjoyed farm life!
Maybe you'll be a farmer in your next life :H

Greetings to one & all, sending wishes for a fantastic AF Friday!
Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks vervill and no sugar. I notice when people screw up they just slip away and don't post probably going on a bender because they have disappointed themselves and feel like they disappoint MWO - at least that's how I feel right now .... But if I slip away I'll just end up drinking a lot every day and I truly don't want to .... So I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone but I'm too g to keep at it. Yesterday I drank at overwhelm again .... That is my biggest trigger.... Can anyone recommend alternatives to this when EVERYTHING seems wrong

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Rebirth I read and post a lot on the weekends because that is my weak time. That really helps me.
Over whelming emotions. Ican I do understand how you feel. I bet most people on this site do. I light a candle and say a prayer for serenity. I have used some aroma therapy and a hot bath in the past. I walk my dogs. And I will say this (the no sugar people will be on my case) I go to Dairy Queen and get a Georgia Mud Fudge blizzard. It's used as a last resort but it really works for me. Drinking al is impossible after that.
Thanks Mr. V. It's good to see you doing your best. Honestly that's all any of us can do.
Have a good af day everyone.

[rebirth]

Newbies Nest

Lav- I totally agree as AL is the last thing that actually makes us feel good about ourselves. So today I am going to make a delicious meal and treat myself to a gorgeous dessert.
My son is doing really well thank you. He is my rock that's for sure. How are your chickens?

Ican- the only way to stop drinking when you feel like this is to take it by the hour. I know the urge is overwhelming but try and stay focused. The main thing is not to give up completely if you do slip.The more you practise going AF, the more "normal" it becomes. Just don't give up. Good that you came back to post.

littlebeagle- Your dog is sooo cute. I love beagles! ;-). What is it about the weekends eh? I amfine during the week and then suddenly this light switches on at the weekends. Time for wine it says. I got to break it.

[Rusty]

Newbies Nest

Rebirth!:h

Great to see you back here with us! I have thought about you so often. I will send you a PM later today. Lav is right...something poisonous like AL is no reward for anyone. Your idea of the delicious meal and dessert sounds wonderful, and I KNOW how much you value exercise...maybe if you did a kick-butt boxing workout you would feel better? Sending positive and friendly vibes your way!:l

Rusty

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,been a while since l was here ,l'm 6 months and 3 days sober today,feel fantastic,life keeps getting better,l am now in the living ,wanting to do things like when l was a kid,sure feels good to not be hung over and not have that voice in my head always saying why are you doing this to yourself,freedom is what l call it,soon l am leaving my job of 16 yrs from canada post to do hair at home,l'm looking forward to this new venture,l feel l make alot of choices for me now.Happiness is in me way more,l may have a few tears sometimes but l feel my emotions now,don't grab a glass of wine for everything,Freedom is a great feeling ,to not be tied to any substnce is great,l can just be and l'm okay with that.For those of you struggling just know it does get easier and it's only a thought and a thought can be changed,lt only lasts a short period of time and you get busy doing something else,so keep your chin up and keep on moving forward to sobriety,nothing could be better!!! As well my triplet sister and my mom quit drinking all are very happy,my mom is 73 ,we all can do it"!!!