Newbies Nest

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Good evening everyone, Byrdie, thanks so much for that. I need to know that there is hope, and on here I get such awesome encouragement and support, all of you are awesome :h It's hard to imagine me doing anything but drinking and being a general pain in the arse, not to mention watching my demise physically and mentally. I must be such a worry to family and friends. Truth is, much of my family are just a side step away from my bad habits, so it will be interesting to see how things pan out. I'm not currently phased or remotely worried, I'm doing this for myself, my future and my kids.
Hubbys birthday tomorrow, so got his wine and beer in, and my tonic water and cranberry juice - all good! Still strong as it's early days, but feeling so determined, and strangely very calm, whereas before I was always in a bit of a panic, even on day 1 and wrecked by a hangover. Feeling this is just the way it's going to be from now on, and the worlds not going to end, nobody's going to die, life will just improve massively for me, and my family. Only day 2, but looking forward with a big smile

See ya tomorrow!

[available]

Newbies Nest

Noodle i can totally relate to what you say about just being determined and calm about not drinking. I think it has to be in our mindset to do it. I think it is a kind of resignation also that, well thats it basically, either I carry on and get sicker and wallow in my own self pity or i pull myself out of the crap and take responsibility.

Oh by the way Day 38 here and yep no-one has died for me either and life is still going on. lol.

[available]

Newbies Nest

LC hello my friend. Yes it has come around quick and i am still resolved not to have a drink but if i do then i am not going to beat myself up about it. The girls know I am not drinking but they still think i can have a few and be okay. Hey maybe I can only have a few and be ok, I never want to be back where i was nearly 40 days ago and I know i wont. I have a different mindset to when i tried to stop a couple of years ago. I will wait till Saturday and see and will post on here on Sunday and let you know.

Life is way tooooooooo good to EVER go back to where i was.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey available Just reading and had to post my thoughts and experience. Once I had one or two after a year sober I thought I was in control. This lead I more AF days and then another dip in to drinking. Again a few more months sober. This all made me think I could control and would never go back. Fast forward a few more months and I was back to where I was 2 years prior. I drunk fast and hard. Some weird mentality that I was going to have to give up so make te most of it attitude.
I know only you know the strengthnf your resolve to have a few or just the one. Only you will know f your going to feel that as a cheat on your sobriety or an "ok I can deal with it" on your sobriety. I hope you are stronger than you think either stopping at a few or staying AF. Sorry if I've spoken out if turn but I'm hoping by sharing I may give some f

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

food for thought.


I'm still fresh and raw from the shame that it took me months to get back on AF lifestyle. Big hugs.

[available]

Newbies Nest

No Min i totally agree with you on what you said. That is my biggest fear that i will have one or two that night and think, oh that was okay i was in control then slip back to where i was. I dont want that ever and i know how my brain works and that is not very bloody well when it comes to AL. I pretty well realise I cant drink, i just need to really accept it. SO i have what four days to do this. I think i will sit and have a good chat to my girls on Saturday so they both understand that i just cant drink. I dont want to fight with myself over this as i know who will ultimately win and its not me it will be AL.

Thanks for your advice, i just needed to hear it off someone else. I did it last time i gave up and that was only for 11 days and then straight back to where i was again. I dont want to do the AGAIN.

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

I think Byrdie should get an Alladin prize on her 1,000 days. Remember the 1000 and one night story about a princess in ancient Persia

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

Allan, I'll bet Byrdie would be much appreciative for that award

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Tuesday! I have lots of work to finish today so there's no time for me to get into trouble!!!

Lav

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Off to a healthy eating seminar....hope I learn something...one would think that by now I would have lost a ton of weight from no AL but NO I have not....ah well I feel better anyway..
Dottie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Allan! I am LOVING the magic lamp! I coulda used that 1000 days ago!!! In fact, I could really use it today, I have a 7 hour drive ahead of me and its raining sideways!! Thank you for that wonderful gift!! It's PERFECT!!

Speaking of gifts, look at that rendition of The Bird that Gambler did for us! Did you have a recipe for that? How on Earth did you come up with that! Ingenious!!!! Keep it up (so to speak!!!)

Available...I know that no words of ours can change your mind if you are planning to take a drink in the future...however, if you just take a couple hours and look ALL around this site you will not see ONE case where taking a day off and having a couple drinks worked out. ONE NOT. I could see giving it a try if there were several dozen or a thread or two, but there is NOT ONE. Nary. Zero. This doesn't mean YOU will fail....ok, maybe it does. If 100 people walk off a cliff and die are you going to be 101? If you don't take an average Jane's opinion (mine), at least take it from my 4 years of observations... if you have a drinking problem, it's a lifelong party and YOU got an invitation. You don't get over it. People with 4, 6, 10 and ever Robin Williams recently with 20 years of sobriety said that all it took was one mini bottle of Jack Daniels to get him right back to where he was. After 20 years!! Addiction is wired into our brains and it can't be short circuited. NoSugar put it so beautifully one time, for us, abusing AL is like riding a bicycle.....you NEVER forget how. So I would caution you strongly before giving up your quit, even for big doings like a wedding....When I write "no matter what and no matter who" I put that last part in there for a reason....for an ALK, there is no good reason to pour gasoline on our fire. NEVER. For us it is a FIX, not a celebration, not a sacred right, but a FIX. Don't fall for it...it's a trick that Addiction Head (Dick Head) is trying to get you to buy. You've been around a while, can you EVER remember anyone who took a day off and didn't regret it? Me either. Don't do it....you will survive and the world will keep turning and no one will die because you didn't make a toast!! You can trust me on this one!!! No body dies!!!!

However....let us take our magic lamp and go into the future. I am in a bit of a hurry, so I don't have the details of the whole thing fresh, but there's a wedding in a few days....ok this is October, that's an important point. Let's say this wedding is in 2 weeks so that's around the 26th. It's Friday night, surely there's a rehearsal dinner.... since I'm going to drink tomorrow, I mays well toast the bride tonight! What will it hurt? So you do, and you just have one (the pilot light is lit). Saturday comes you are a bundle of nerves....have one to take the edge off! Wedding comes...reception you have 'a few too many' but resolve to get back on the horse tomorrow. It's Sunday, raging H/O....have a couple to feel better....starting to slink back into Alco-Hell. Monday comes...it's Halloween WEEK! I'll start over Nov 1! Nov 1 comes, you fail....Nov 7 comes you fail....you are looking right down the barrel of Thanksgiving! F*** IT! I'll just start over after the holidays! It's too hard to start all over during these dam holidays! Next thing you know, another year has come and gone and you don't even know where it went!!! My advice? DON'T GIVE UP YOUR QUIT! It is 1000 times easier to maintain it than it is to get it back!!! My quit is THE foundation for everything else I do. There is NOTHING more important than my QUIT. It IS my #1 priority. NO ONE is more important than my quit. Your girls want you to be happy and healthy...if they knew the extent of our problems with AL, this wouldn't even be an issue, right? No one else at the wedding will give a flying fig whether you drink or not...but make no mistake, it'll be all the talk if you get plastered. It's just not worth it. You do NOT need a drink ever again! It's an illusion created by Dick Head to get you back on his team! It is a choice that only you can make! You've spent a goodly amount of time in this nest, you see the despair that people fly in with....don't let it happen to you again, after all, we've ALL tried this before. Nothing has changed, there's been no self awareness or any type of change in thinking that has occurred. We are Alcoholics. We must NOT drink....no matter what and no matter who.

Sorry for the ramble....but had to get that out! Hope everyone has a great day!!! Hugs to all!! XXOO Byrdie

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

I'm back on day 1.... The entire past week has been about panic because I know I have to quit.... It's like I'm trying to make sure I am "fulfilled" while I can.... Geez and we have two big alcohol events this week and I don't want to start and fail again. Byrdie I love your words if wisdom. Happy 1000 magic days

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

So I drank on Saturday. Had a few beers watching the football, and then a few more beers at a pub nearer home.

I do not regret this, as I know it is the stupid thing to do. I am back on track with life.

BUT, I have come to realise this one thing:

If I drink, I need to drink copious amounts to block out emotion. A couple of beers seems to make me more edgy and anxious. If I hold out and stay AF I am far calmer and a better person in social situations. Seems all these years, AL has made me MORE anxious where as I thought it made me LESS anxious.

So out this Friday at a music night, will test my resolve big time. But I do not want to me anxious and that annoying drunk. I want to live the emotion of the music.

Keep it up everyone.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1565856 wrote: , but there's a wedding in a few days....ok this is October, that's an important point. Let's say this wedding is in 2 weeks so that's around the 26th. It's Friday night, surely there's a rehearsal dinner.... since I'm going to drink tomorrow, I mays well toast the bride tonight! What will it hurt? So you do, and you just have one (the pilot light is lit). Saturday comes you are a bundle of nerves....have one to take the edge off! Wedding comes...reception you have 'a few too many' but resolve to get back on the horse tomorrow. It's Sunday, raging H/O....have a couple to feel better....starting to slink back into Alco-Hell. Monday comes...it's Halloween WEEK! I'll start over Nov 1! Nov 1 comes, you fail....Nov 7 comes you fail....you are looking right down the barrel of Thanksgiving! F*** IT! I'll just start over after the holidays! It's too hard to start all over during these dam holidays!

Byrdie,

Your almost 1000 days of experience (Congratulations on that accomplishment! ) really shows here. You've captured what I think we've all experienced - the constant rationalizations. Until we quit 100%, something about alcohol is always on our minds.

I hope everyone reading has the sense to listen to someone with so much personal and second-hand experience. There are few other people who have stayed so committed to helping people at the beginning of this struggle and if there were an alternative route, she would know about it.

I for one am not taking a drink until Byrdie convinces me it would be a good idea :H!

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1565867 wrote:

I for one am not taking a drink until Byrdie convinces me it would be a good idea :H!

She would need to be very convincing

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

allankay;1565869 wrote: She would need to be very convincing

The one thing I know for sure is that she will NEVER say it. She says the opposite even when the person probably doesn't want to hear it. That is commitment and courage.