Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

'Toxic salad of human misery' C-Dev? that's a rather unique description - I think :H
Glad to see you are doing well.

I have plans to meet one of my oldest friends for lunch tomorrow. She's a lifelong non-drinker
No worries, just catch up time.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest, hang on tight!
Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Evening all
been a rainy do nothing day, so I decided to clean up my shop. My god, the stink bugs are in every fold of anything that can have fold.

Got a wedding to go to tomorrow, it is very nice to not to have to worry about the booze thing. Have a good time, with no regrets.

Hope everyone is doing fine,
Sam

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1567438 wrote: Good evening Nesters,

'Toxic salad of human misery' C-Dev? that's a rather unique description - I think :H
Glad to see you are doing well.

I have plans to meet one of my oldest friends for lunch tomorrow. She's a lifelong non-drinker
No worries, just catch up time.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest, hang on tight!
Lav

I am glad you enjoy my rather twisted and personal vernacular For some reason, I often treat the English language in the same way I would a line of code I write in HTML, JAVA, CSS, etc, in that I tend to be of the opinion that I can manipulate it for my own purposes

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Its a dead on Description, Mr. C. and I am soooo happy for you and your new love.

I read your incredible journey on the other Thread and meant to chime in.
She's adorable! And youre quite a Cutie too
Hugs and heart to you both
:l:h

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Good hour to all Nesters ! I had the boys pleasantly unexpected today so Im late the the party. Lets kick it off

Byrdlady;1566872 wrote: Gambler, on behalf of everyone in the Newbies' Nest, let me take this opportunity to present you with this major award!!

:goodtime:
Thank you Byrdlady, Available, Little Beagle, Lavande, Sanchez, Samstone, Lifechange and all of the Nest as well !

available;1566878 wrote: Big Congratulations on 30 days Gambler, feels good doesnt it when a whole month without AL is achievable and possible and feels bloody great!I really didnt expect so much so fast Available .. In fact I thought it was going to take up to 90 days to really start getting the whole Sober clearheaded life. So yea it not only Feels great .. but its feeling Mighty F'in Great !

little beagle;1566892 wrote: Dave congratulations on 30 days.!! Yeah you Have come a long way. Keep up the good work.Thank you Little Beagle you little foxyhound you ! I find it amazing How much further I can go too. I will keep on Truckin' !

Lavande;1566962 wrote: It's a bit late for me but U didn't want to miss saying CONGRATS Dave for 30 AF days.
Remember this great feeling, always protect your quit, not just for you but for your boys as wellOH hell Lavande.. I missed my Own 30 day date LOL ! Yea .. No that really would have hurt my feel bads if I didnt get at least a Boo out of You I have a Triple ply Trojan on my quit Lav..and the boys are always on the front lines. Thank you for their mention..it means alot to me.

sanchez;1566964 wrote: Congratulations Dave on one month af! So great to be clear headed and feeling in control isn't it? Now keep it going ya hear?

You know Sanchez..you Can be blunt with me. I prefer the "Keep it going or I will hunt you down and kick your Gamblin Ass out of that can Man !!" method lol. Seriously .. Im no pus..um wimp..yea .. verbal lightweight I am not. Feels good Sancho real good..

Samstone;1566977 wrote: Well done there Dave. A big congrats!! Sam

What a ride its been Sam ! Thank you.

lifechange;1567185 wrote: GAMBLER! Great going on 30 days Good Job. I'm just 2 days late-- I was thinking about you, though!

Saaweeet ! Thanks L.C. .. I just wanted a capitol "G" and you went for the big daddy Title ! Yeessss! I really wanted to ask just what you were thinking.. but can I please leave that to my own scruples .. pretty please . Oh and dont worry..my sex drive still stuck in reverse so...nothing like that..


Byrdlady;1566872 wrote: Gosh, I can't believe it has been 30 days! You really made it look easy. Do you have any wise words for our NEW Newbie's? What worked, what didn't? Did you ever think in 100 years you'd be giving advice in a forum on how NOT to drink???? Life is funny that way. GREAT JOB! Keep it going and you will NEVER regret it! Hats off to the Gam Man!
Signed,
Gam Fans

Byrdie .. I just cant tell you all how much support I have gotten here .. So for everyone Im sure in hell gonna try *Deep Breath*

It really seems to me like its been longer than 30 days sober. First off I there was one major thing making my Quit a bit different than most of what I have seen in the forums. You see I had the withdraws of AL like anyone else however I was also deep in depression from the Withdraws of my two boys. So for the most part early in my sobriety I could not tell what was AL and what was my boys. Because I was told right from the start to use anything in my power to protect my sobriety no matter what the cost I decided to use my feelings from my separation as a Tool. Everytime there was a "feeling of anxiety" or nervousness I Chose to think it was because of my kids and not the quit and it worked for the majority of the time. So I was unfortunately fortunate in that regard to have such a strong emotion to counterweight for the initial AL Crapshoot. It was not an easy time but it made kicking AL to the curb more tolerable if you can understand.

To our newbies I would say that the first 5 days was an up/down time for me. I was not eating or sleeping at all. I drank lots of water and coffee and that was basically it. So be aware up front to possibly keep some favorite snack foods on hand just in case you have the same affect. Now Day 6 sucked hard. That was the day that I could not focus on Anything! I was an emotional roller coaster from who knows where. It was the hardest time in life that I have had in many years. At that point I had to reach out to a friend..Had too. It worked out that the support that I received got me through not only that day but I believe it to be a major turning point in my journey. So When and If you ever get to a point that you think you need to reach out Do IT. Dont even hesitate guys .. It could save you..

After day 6 at least for me was almost down hill. I was told that if I could make it through that miserable day from hell and reach 7 then things would change. It did. Boy did it. Sure there were times after that...but not as bad. Almost like a day up and then day down..up down up etc. I found after a while that the ups/downs start leveling off. Which is a good thing because the ups were way the heaven up there ( I mean like being on drugs that make you feel like superman/wonderwoman ) .. but the downs where hellishly down compared to my new found pie in the sky day before. Once my body started to equalize the body/brain chemistry then I started seeing things as they were. Then at that point it started to get real interesting..thats when the journey started to Form. So be patient and let your body do its thing and all you can do is just be strong and work with it.

If you really want to know what pulled me through not only the AF gig but my personal life as well..then it would have to be The Nest. Hell the MWO forums put my Quit on the calendar before I was even ready to quit drinking. At 2am I woke up Sept 10th and wanted to know "how to stop drinking". I was just looking for what I would be in for when I was ready to quit kinda thing. So there I lay in bed with my little phone reading and reading..pluggin in the charger and reading some more. I could not stop freaking reading..! At 11 in the morning I Signed up and made my first thread asking if I could just hang out. That was it for me..That was when I quit. Over the next 2 days I was on the forums constantly if I was not eating ( yea right ) or eating ( sure sure ) or taking a shower ( yes I like to keep clean lol ). Then I started posting .. then reading and posting and posting more and more. I think I saw that I was up to something like 20 posts a day average ! That was the Trick for me! Posting is the single most important thing I would suggest for any one new. Not the eating a lot or taking a walk or anything else its Posting and reading when you are not posting. That was my Main Tool in the beginning. I found that putting my thoughts and emotions on a media form helped me to untangle my anxiety or other problems that just sitting there couldn't resolve. Most times I would reach the end of my write up and feel completely fine. Like WTF what the problem again Dave ? It really does work my fellow peeps.

Another Biggie is to Go With The Flow. There is no way in hell I could have had a stringent mind set and remained AF. There were days were hour to hour the emotions changed. I had a tool box going and everything but I was still amazed at how many tools I needed. One tool would work great one day and be almost useless the next. So be versatile and flexible in basically every aspect in your life. It Could be changing hour to hour or day to day .. but it Will be changing so learn to live with what you have at the Moment and nothing else.

One set of advise given to me and I will repost it again and again is to Do Whatever It Takes !! As long as it does not affect anyone else personally then all bets are off. Its a no holds barred kinda deal. Hole yourself up like I did .. go to the thrift store and buy 5 bucks of 10 cent dishes just ready to crash..go buy some bunny rabbits and .. well I should probably leave that one out.. Always have in your mind ready to Call someone if you need it. Another one is to Promise to Post Here if you ever have a that "urge" that you know is going to be a bitch on your back. This place has absolutely NO judgement on you or anyone else. I have written some fairly crazy shit here and never got any kind of negative response. I have written some Very personal things and Never felt distanced from the Nesters ( well once I did but it was brought to my attention that I was cookoo loco crazy for thinking that so it turned out to be one of those "well .. uh ..never mind" moments ). This is a family away from family.. a home away from home if you choose it. I Know that I will never be alone Ever again when I need someone. Make this place a place for YOU. I have my twig perch over there next to the coffee and scones. Its quaint but perfect for me.

And of course .. Relax. You have to relax as much as possible. Smile..joke around and have fun. Laugh at yourself. Chill the fook out once and a while and Enjoy Your Ride while it lasts folks. If your journey is anything like mine then yea you might not want to remember them baddie bitch days but you might not want to forget about the Uber Blast fun days either.

I could go on and on but Im already reserving a whole page for my 60 day double stack Carmen Miranda hat..

OH and to the 100 year question .. no not in a 100 years I would have thought that. But giving someone my story after 30 days sure beats the hell out of waiting another 55 years

Ok.. I guess I should be done with my 30 day commencement speech but I would like to end this with thoughts of communion and friendship. My gratitude and sincere appreciation to you gals and guys would not find its way into words if I even attempted it. It is a great consolation knowing the extent and reach of your love and tenderness that there is no need to even try for it to be understood.

Thank You ~ Dave.

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

Dave,

I must say that I am truly elated that you have reached this first, in what I can only conclude will be of many, milestones in your journey.

Just based upon the posts that I have seen from you since joining, you have evolved in this short time period in a manner that even Darwin never envisioned. I recommend you do what I did when I hit my 30 day mark: go back and read some of your early posts and compare them to the present. If that is not direct evidence of a transformation than I do not know what is. You have quite obviously developed a new level of confidence (and a new level of homemaking ability) that rivals any you have had in your life in a VERY significant amount of time.

I think the other big eye opener for me around the 30 day mark was the realization of how underdeveloped much my social and interpersonal skills were. In many respects, I have the emotional maturity level of a teenager, as my development in these areas was stopped abruptly when I began using alcohol as a stand in for a personality. Getting to know other people, (Hell, even getting to know myself) now is an ongoing struggle.

Unlike some folks who "find themselves" by taking Yoga classes or engaging in new age quackery, we are fortunate enough that our true epiphany comes from simply living a life free of alcohol. Suddenly there is a whole new world of possibilities that open for us, and it is a world that has been there all along we were just too lost to recognize it.

Excellent work my friend.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Kailey! Day 7 is here for you! I'm so proud of you for kicking that beast in the butt. You're doing a great job--

Nice to see you Cdev-- had to go over and have a look at your girl-- looks very nice, she does. I'm glad to see you so happy.

AVail, Can't wait to see the pictures! I've never been to a hen night--but I do have a good imagination and you've given us some nice details! You do have a lot on your plate right now and I'm sending the calm energy and strength your way.:l

I'm procrastinating going to the gym.
Hope you all have a great AF day!

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1567559 wrote: Good morning Nesters,

Kailey! Day 7 is here for you! I'm so proud of you for kicking that beast in the butt. You're doing a great job--

Thank you! It's very early in the morning and I'm still laying in bed with my iPad, but I had to log on because I am so excited! Not a chance in the world I'll slip today!

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kailey - you go girl! I'm right behind ya on day 6 - so counting on you to keep leading the way! I'me feeling so much better, and still calm and determined. Dave, what a lovely post - you are describing all the early stages that I'm going through (and many others from what I read) and knowing how fabulous everything is working out for you, fills me with such hope and excitement - you have reinforced that all this will be worth it, so thanks x
Today was another sober get together - I'm over in New Zealand, and the weather was glorious today, so friends and family came over and crashed in the sunshine all afternoon. I'd usually be passed out somewhere right now, until waking about 3 am totally dehydrated with a banging head, but no - still sparkly and enjoyed the afternoon without making hugely inappropriate remakrks ( I always think they are hilarious when I'm hammered - I just look like a sad old nut case in reality). Embarrassing myself and my kids NO MORE is such a drive for me, I know I'm on the right path now. More confused looks about the lack of alcohol flowing through my glasses - I just played it down, and said I'd stopped drinking. No big deal. WHY? "cos I drink too much, so I've stopped. That seemed to be accepted, anyone who's had a few hours in my company over the last few years wouldn't argue with that at all - so all good. I've decided a pledge to myself and family is sufficient, I don't want to make grand gestures and bold promises - not because I can't keep them, but because they are private, and I've humiliated my kids enough. Sure, I contemplated what a drink would taste like, nice and chilled, sat there in the sunshine, but the knowledge that it wouldn't stop there, at all, was enough to stop any temptation dead in it's tracks. Definnately over being on deaths door, having no money, my kids going without what they need, because the bottle comes first, the look of disapointment on everyones faces, again, when we leave a social function....the list is endless, and pretty sure you all know where I'm coming from. So no thanks, I won't bother with a drink.
ANYWAY, off to fill up the old hottie, and grab another herbal tea, got a big smile on my face, feel so optomostic, on this first sober Saturday night, for as long as I can remember. Thanks for listening, you are all lovely :h truely hope you all have a safe and great weekend, see ya soon xx

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Kailey! I have a HUGE smile on my face thinking of you and how excited you must be!:l I think these milestones are so important! Have a great day..

And Noodle, can't wait for yours tomorrow-- you sound so strong, in such a great mindset. Well done, today... and sleep well. Oh, that wonderful sleep...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

CONGRATS Kailey on 7 AF days :yay:
Wishing you a great day, remember this day forever

I have much to do before I take off for the afternoon.
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Mooning, Nesters...will you all gather in a straight line please? On 3, drop yer pants....1. 2. 3.

:moon:

Kailey, on behalf of our bare bottoms, please accept this moon as a sign from the heavens! You have beaten AL for 7 Full Days! The world is your oyster!! We are so proud of you! May sobriety be yours for many moons to come!! WELL DONE!!!!

Proud Nesters Union

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

What a difference a week makes! I can't begin to describe the new optimism I have. I've tried for years to stop drinking, and truly this is the most success I've ever had. I attribute it to coming to this site and posting. I'd been lurking for a long time, and had gotten a lot out of that, but I was stuck in a predictable routine.

I was waking up every morning with a thick head. Loathing myself. On most mornings I would check out this site and work up enough inspiration to pledge to myself that I was done drinking forever (or that I would only drink on weekends, or would only drink a small bottle of wine... there were a million variations). Anyway, predictably, by evening I would give up and start the cycle all over again.

It's made a big difference to actually post my intentions here. I wonder now what I was waiting for? The help and support here has made all the difference for me. I know I will have hard days, but right now my future feels bright. Thank you! If there are others out there like me who are afraid to post, I hope you'll consider giving it a try. For me it's a powerful new tool in my toolbox!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dave, that was a world class commencement speech, I hope you will put that in the Tool Box, it is truly golden!!! That's just the stuff you need to see when it's 2 a.m. and your only connection is a written word on an AL forum. It was brilliant, and I am so proud of you!!
C-Dev, great to see you!! Talk about life changes, you are doing it, too! It is amazing that we think we can't go on without AL, but in retrospect, it WAS the thing holding us back all along! It wants us to be stuck physically and emotionally! It is such freedom to break free of that bond it's scary! But I always try to remember....NOT drinking is WHY I feel so good. I MUST stay vigilant. Life is amazing when you are actually participating in it!!

Great to see everyone this morning! Off to check the roll call!! I hope everyone has a magnificent, AF day!! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Very well said! The difference between lurking and reading and actually getting in there to post is like night and day. It's what works, isn't it? Love this place!!