Newbies Nest

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

HopingCarnations;1570223 wrote: Thank you for all the warm welcomes But I miserably messed up today and once again, sit here crying feeling horrible about it. I just don't understand how I can't keep the same "mind-frame" I have in the morning, where I do not want to drink, then later just literally stop giving a sh** about all of it and have a drink. It's scary, being afraid of my own decisions

We have ALL been there. Some of us again and again. Don't give up - keep posting, keep reading the posts in the nest. You've started this journey and you know that you can do it. One day at a time. Get all the booze out of your house. Make it HARD to get. (I used to come home from work, take off my makeup and bra and put conditioner on my hair until I looked like a conehead) - there was NO WAY I would go out for a bottle of wine after all that. Why do you want to quit drinking? Check the toolbox (many people in Newbies Nest - K9, Byrdlady, etc. have the link as their signature). Keep posting. We are all here for you, and we are all with you. Keep coming back. We're here.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong and in Control;1570014 wrote: I found meditating has really helped in the past. Sober, I wake up a happy/content person - then my mind and circumstances kick in. Meditation has helped keep me centered and on track.

I learned of a free 21 day meditation series available worldwide and thought some here may be interested. It looks perfect for someone that has never meditated before.

Here is the link: 21 Days of Gratitude - Home

Thanks for the link. I have started a new job this week and feeling the stress, think I need to work on meditation as a tool for relaxation.

[HopingCarnations]

Newbies Nest

Thank you I have always been a non-social drinker. I drink to myself and hide it from my family. I put the empties in the bottom of the garbage, and sometimes in my dresser drawers. I see a lot of advice on the internet saying to "stay busy" and "stay away from triggers". But my trigger is home, and I haven't the slightest clue how to overcome my triggers.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Hoping start by emptying the house of booze. Buy something tasty to drink and lots of healthy food. Can you make your home an AF zone?

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hey y'all

Dave! OMG! How do you keep up with everything and everyone- I would get so befuddled! On the serious side, I think it is only fair that you get equal time with your boys, coparenting is exactly that, COPARENTING. My husband has primary custody of the youngest (17) and I wish his mother was more responsibly involved. However, I don't think responsible is in her vocabulary. She doesn't care about his grades, doesn't even ask. Isn't really involved in his academics at all. Doesn't care if he gets to work on time, or even if he goes.....I digress, you get the point.lol. I think it is stellar that you want to parent your kids and be involved in their lives. If you guys live close, chances are you would get to keep them week on, week off. If she is being difficult about that, it's really unfortunate. Your boys need you as much as they need their mom.

I had the day off, two twelves the last two days, then one tomorrow and I don't have to work weekends!! Yeah! The last few days have been pretty good and this weekend will be beautiful, so maybe the seafood festival is in order, or the farmers market. The list is wide open in this cool little town, and with no hangovers or 6:00 drinking time I feel like my world is opening up. I feel better about myself, and I am not nearly as anxious.

Day 18 coming to an end! Just gotta get this sleep thing down...

Good night to all!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

3June, the MWO clearing CD was THE best relaxation tool for me
Good luck with the new job!

Hoping, get into the Tool box & use the best ideas to help you write a good plan for yourself. Sobriety doesn't happen by accident, you have to do the work. Getting all AL out of the house & making a solemn vow to buy no more did it for me. You can do this too! Make sure you know your drinking triggers & plan ahead.

LB, hope everything is OK with you!

gettingthere, stage fright is an awful thing, I totally understand. I hope the meds help you work thru the stress & accomplish your goals

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - buckle up!
Lav

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Lav it's weird some nights I put those CDs on the headphones, they put me to sleep. Other nights they irritate the crap out of me LOL

[HopingCarnations]

Newbies Nest

My problem is that I will go and buy alcohol after work, or if I'm not working that day, I'll go buy it as soon as my boyfriend leaves for work so he won't know about it.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

If you want to stop drinking you need to stop buying it. Starting now. Can you commit to emptying the house? Finding something else to do tonight? Buying something else you like to drink? Milkshake? Apple cider? Pop? Juice? You need to start somewhere. We all know what you mean when you say you decide not to drink yet you do it anyway. I did the same for years. But we need to break the cycle and it's not easy, it's really really hard. But it is so worth it. Waking up sober and alert is amazing. You know, you did it for 70 days. You can have that again. starting now.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I was an at home drinker Hoping.
It was me & only me maintaining the wine supply. I finally got so fed up with the whole thing I pushed myself to make the commitment to buy no more. Here in PA you specifically have to go to a state store to buy wine & spirits & a beer store to buy beer. No AL is sold in the supermarkets like it is in other places. The funny thing is - the state store is located in the same shopping center as the supermarket - only 2 doors down. I still go to that supermarket a couple of times each week but I have never set foot in the state store since I promised myself to STOP. You can do it too if that's what you really want!

June, occasionally someone else would say the same thing about the CDs. I think the 'accent' of the speaker was bothersome to some people./ I just learned to ignore that & not make a big deal of it :H

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Day 5

MAE Nesters
Just realised that I never said goodnight last night - such awful manners:egad:

There's coffee going, so help yourself. Beautiful blue skies here this morning, the mountain looks crisp and touchable and the fresh green of the oak trees make my heart sing. Also windy - guess you really can't have it all, hey?

Slept really well for a couple of nights; tossed and turned for ages in bed last night, woke up after what felt like a brief nap, didn't hear the alarm clock go off this am (or just silenced it & went back to sleep). Feeling good, nonetheless.

Start of Day 5 for me. Also, going to do what Mark Twain said was the easiest thing in the world to do. Hah, if only!

Stay strong, stay AF!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, DO! I was also rude yesterday, going to bed with out saying good night-- I hope everyone forgives us. So what are you up to on this lovely day? Unfortunately we have rain and cold winds! So I'm drinking coffee, staying cosy and trying to psyche myself up to get out there. I don't know the mark twain reference.. fill me in?
Cat, super to hear from you--You're plugging away, adding up those days. Lots of difficult co-parenting situations going on here. I hear you about the mom who doesn't do her part-- same with me here. I've had to work really hard not to feel taken advantage of. It isn't easy to balance setting boundaries with wanting a child to feel welcome and cared for, when one parent is so lacking. It sounds like you're strong and really able to help your stepson.

LittleBeagle, I've also been thinking a lot about you. I was happy to hear of you husbands 60 days and of the two of you being able to stand strong with regards to family. I hope the "kids" are able to find work soon-- do you have any leads? Hang tough-- what you're doing is important!:l

And Gambler, I will be sending the super positive energy your way. You sound like a great father and are doing so well in changing the negative in your life-- I hope that with some more time, the boys mother will be able to trust you and realise how important it is for the boys to have you in their lives much more often than she's offering now. I can only hope that it's your past drinking that's keeping her wary. Of course I don't know you so well-- but I think whenever possible, the kids should have as much time with their fathers as with their mothers. Maybe I'm lucky, but I would never dare to presume that the father of my kids isn't as important to them as I am-- We are very different, of course, but the kids benefit from having us both. Well it sounds like you're really enjoying the time you have together now-- you'll keep us posted!

A big hello to everyone flying by today!

Kailey! How are you today?
How's our frazzled Noodle?

Hoping carnations, :welcome: It's good to have you here! I was also a home drinker, as well as an out and about drinker-- but primarily home, and the advice that's been given is great-- I did the same. Made sure there was no al in the house, changed my after work routine--changed my route home, invested in some delicious teas and chocolates and bath salts, rented some great films, stayed here and read and posted literally 8+ hours a day. I actually took 2-3 days off of work and I holed up at home-- and worked very hard to change my ways. You CAN do it-- give yourself the chance.:l

Bhalo, you cracked me up with the fat fighting forum remark. Who in the heck has time for another forum? Damn. Also the last thing I need!!

Ok here I go...

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters Had my best sleep in ages last night, feel fresh as a wee daisy this morning!

She is being more co-operative in the visitation but she said something the other day about Every Other weekend and one dinner date ever week being Normal for Dads coparenting schedule..I was like WTF ?? thats the bare minimum for distant dads and stuff..
Dave, I am not close to the situation, but I know enough about divorce and separation to know that a lot of mind games get played in these situations. I hope common sense prevails when it comes down to it. It's all about what's best for the boys, even she will see that hopefully. You seem like a decent bloke and you obviously dote on those boys and would do anything for them. This 'every other weekend' would only make them unhappy by the sounds of it, surely she wouldn't want that? Keep your chin up

3J

Lav it's weird some nights I put those CDs on the headphones, they put me to sleep. Other nights they irritate the crap out of me LOL :H:H

My problem is that I will go and buy alcohol after work, or if I'm not working that day, I'll go buy it as soon as my boyfriend leaves for work so he won't know about it.

Hoping, we have all been there. If you really want to chuck it, you'll have to replace those bad old habits with better ones. Get a plan in place love.

There's coffee going, so help yourself. Beautiful blue skies here this morning, the mountain looks crisp and touchable and the fresh green of the oak trees make my heart sing. Also windy - guess you really can't have it all, hey?

DTD, when can I move in? :H

Who in the heck has time for another forum?

lol LC, not I! have a lovely day hun :l

LB, I never seem to be on anywhere near your time, doesn't mean I am not thinking of you..xx

Almost time to batten down for the weekend folks! Everyone's plans in place, the nest all swept out and the tea and coffee table all set up in the corner. (I put a nice big bouquet in the centre just to brighten the place up for us!)

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

BH, if you'll sweep the Nest (and my house) you can move in anytime. Ta for the coffee & fresh flowers. I must actually go & get some for the house - the wisteria & jasmine are lovely right now, and the village is full of lavender - they do really well here.

LC, Twain said that it's easy to give up smoking - he's done it thousands of times.:H

HC, welcome here. Lav is a wise lady - if there's no booze in the house, there's nothing to drink. Try to get rid of the magnetic pull between the liquor store and your feet. You said "But my trigger is home, and I haven't the slightest clue how to overcome my triggers." If you change that sentence slightly to read "But my trigger is AT home..." and there's no AL in the house, you will make things a lot easier for yourself.

Confusing myself with all these initials now.

CBelle: a seafood festival - sounds wonderful, but don't tel Byrdie - she doesn't eat it at all.

Strong, thanks for the laugh - the mental pic of you, braless and coneheaded made my day

Capital G Dave - hello back. I'm confident about the weekend - and beyond - but I think that overconfidence can backfire. It's so sad that you, who have made so made drastic and positive changes to your life, are now being deprived of 50/50 time to your sons. I hope that everything, eventually, will work out for the best. And since you're still in housekeeping mode, you can move in with BH. I'm going to pounce on CDev as well, and my house should be pretty well sorted.

Daily wine - welcome back! Was it you who asked about milk thistle on a different thread yesterday or so? Apparently, beetroot is also good to get your liver back into shape. Will see if I can find the thread and post it; otherwise just search for beetroot here on the boards. I boiled some beetroot last night, and it's good to know there's something healthy in the fridge when the munchies hit. Here's the post: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...oot-80964.html And if some kind soul would explain to me how to make "clean" links for lack of a better term, I'd be so so so grateful! (Ah, it happens automatically. Sometimes I'm amazed by the extent of my stupidity [insert I'm extremely stupid emoticon here]

Have a good MAE, all. Talk again later today

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Rise and shine Nesters

My morning bad news is I caved in with the Sugar dobob thing. Yes I had some Ice cream last night but I had a double dose of yogurt so does that count for anything ? . noo . Oh well at least I made a supreme three course meal last night. I then got to bed early and combined with a wakeless night I feel great for a Friday. Im ready to pounce on work to finish up the week so I can look my boss in the eye when I take my money .

I want to thank everyone for the support that I need in regards to me boys ( Yea Im like Popeye in a way ). So just quickly I can tell you that Yes..she did send me a draft that stated the every other weekend and one day a week from 6-8:30 + your standard holiday and vacation time. Yes she does live only 3 miles away ( 5 min drive ) and no its not about trust and the drinking thing with her even though thats what she is using as an excuse. Im not too worried about the end result of parenting time that will be awarded. Its more that the boys loved us both more than anything but now Im seeing a change in them with their mom. I feel that given her current path of things the kiddos are starting to resent her and becoming more distant towards her. I can understand her attachment with them seeing as they are basically the only things she has in life that is good. Thank you again for your kind words and prayers

Welp Im one foot out the door so I will talk to you peeps tonight .. have a great weekend kickoff Friday and stay focused.

Dave