Newbies Nest

[C-Developer]

Newbies Nest

love, or the abundant lack.

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Just checking in after a four day business trip. No time or privacy to check in earlier. Will read thru the posts and catch up tomorrow. Thankfully I didn't fall through a tough trip. My co-worker, a big trigger, who was too tired from another trip, didn't push things.

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Here I am fighting with the connection problem again tonight. Sigh.
Dream I am sharing that dust bunny thing with my daughter. She will get a kick out of that. We are both professional housekeeper.
Rahul. Glad you are with us. Keep close and this thing can be beaten.
Mr. V glad you are doing good. Good to see you.
Dottie I'm glad you had a good day for your dad's birthday.
We are having wonderful fall weather here this week. October is our best month if the tropics behave here in southern Louisiana.
I've been trying to play diplomat to two young adults living in a stressful situation. (young love squabbles) Ugh!! Who would have thought this would be me 6 months ago.
Have a great one all.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

Byrdie so true. If one then why not none? I was away with my BFF this weekend and she is having a hard time coming to grips with me not being a drinker any more. I think we had a break through when she realized I could be her DD! I also realized she didn't want to agree that I had a drinking problem. She said look you quit so you didn't have a problem. I said no silly I quit BECAUSE I had a thinking problem! It's my birthday today and I enjoyed every bit of it sober. first time in probably 40 years! It was a regular working day and I didn't tell anyone but inside I was celebrating it in my own quiet way!

Little beagle you are so strong, I admire you. Good to hear things are working out. I visited New Orleans one fall and loved the weather! Enjoy

Mr V good to hear your trip went well!!

Dottie not sure what the test was but did we pass?

Jenniech you're back! So glad to see you!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

The test was to see if my name and AF date would show up.....that was all ..
dottie

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

So my struggle begins. Day started off when my son was asking my mom "why do you cry when my father comes to kiss you."

He is too young to understand alcoholism. He is too young to understand that I am a low life liar and a cheat. And worst these are the memories of childhood I am giving to my children.

I will quit ... No one believe me .. I have said it earlier ... I can should shout about it but why should anyone believe me. Do I believe in myself ?

How has this poison made me feel so miserable. How did I allow myself to be consumed by it.

The day 1 begins and I will remain sober I know. But it will be sad regretful day. The day I wish end soon ...not coz I will miss AL. But so many regrets I have the at they are hard to see...

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

HI all,
I am back -- as I mentioned on another post and to my soul sister, NoSugar, I fell off the wagon last week. Although I havent gotten drunk, I have been drinking 2 glasses of wine everyday after a stressful day at a new job. I know this is only going to lead to a downward spiral so I am here, reaching out, becoming accountable, yet again, to kick this once and for all. I dont like the way I feel the next day, even after one glass. I am lethargic and just not on my a-game. I know AL DOES NOT work for me. I am so much better without it. I was AL free yesterday and felt great but the minute I got back to the office and feel the chaos of negative, mean people, I succumb to believing 'a drink' will help. Does it make me unwind and escape my problems, yes, for the time being. But, like I said, it certainly doesnt help. I still wake up with the same issues and have less of the power to face them. Ultimately, I am destroying my chances of being my joyful self I discovered while being AL free for the last 3+ months. Gosh, I was doing so well, I actually stopped checking in here and stopped counting. Guess I am another stat, back again, starting from the beginning; however, I am still very proud of the accomplishments I have made, and know I can get there again. One day at a time, right guys? Thanks for listening.

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,
You can do this. You are stronger than you know. The fact that you have taken the massive step to join MWO, post and become accountable is just the beginning of the life you are intended to live-- you have so much to be thankful for-- embrace it with all that you have. So many of us would love to have a family and a child. You are blessed. Remember how important you are to those around you that love you. We are here for you, every step of the way.
Lots of love :heart:

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

JUNE! Long time! So glad to see you still on here, sticking to the master plan
Happy Birthday!!!! You have a lot to celebrate. So proud
Missed ya! XO
:heart:

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Sorry for all the messages, lots of catching up to do!
Little Beagel, how are you? And how many days do you have?
Brings me all the hope in the world seeing the same folks on here.
Power to you :heart:

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Morning guys.

Just checking in. Midweek is not my usual time to relapse, and I haven't. But want to keep checking in to help progress.

Really come on a long way since my last binge 10 days ago. I am productive during the day, my workouts are back at full steam, my mood is far better and I am eating well.

It's funny how a once weekly binge can wreck you for a week and effectively you are functioning at about 50% of optimal. I wonder how many social drinkers are like this?

Anyway, hope everyone is well.

[musomatt]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone

I posted on the i've just started page yesterday but thought i'd visit the newbies nest! Hi everyone. I'm only day 2 so gotta be realistic. My first target is 26.2 days! That's one AF day for every mile of the marathon. I've run 4 marathons. I was amazed to get replies yesterday from others on the forum who run marathons yet are alcoholics. It helped me understand the 'justifications' i've made to myself countless times... i.e. "I can drink tonight... i'll just purge myself over 10 miles tomorrow". Its cheating life.

I'm starting to go through all the usual denials...those nasty thought bursts that kept kicking in all day yesterday.

It wasn't "god I need a drink" (it never is with me)...
It was "god, can I really go through the entire rest of my life never drinking again?".

Its the latter which has always been my problem. I need to fully embrace sobriety, and learn to celebrate FULLY (not temporarily) how much better life is when I don't drink. That this is my NEW life, not my old one.

I was last AF in 2007 - 2009 so I know what this is all about. I'm not really a newbie!

I know that this first two months will be tough.
I know that I will have thought bursts every single day.
I know there will be times when I feel sorry for myself.
The BOREDOM frightens me - but I have to find a way of reframing this in my mind. It is not boredom, it is my mind needing stimulation - to replace that other stimulant.
I know I will feel a bit 'boring' - but I need to learn to not see myself that way. It is not the way others see me.
I know I will have severe periods of vulnerability - I need to thought stop in those moments and go and do something that will lift me. Like run, or play guitar, or write. I need to channel my vulnerability into something constructive not destructive.

This is all the negative stuff, that I centred too much on last time. I need to transform the way I see myself and my life this time. Last time, It always felt like I had to 'come to terms' with never being able to drink again in my life. Like it was some kind of punishment.

I love the feeling of being drunk...but I hate, hate, hate, everything else that comes with it. All the hates... I simply DO NOT want in my life anymore. Its early days...but

This morning... this feeling (both mentally and physically) feels familiar. I feel like i've been here before.

The early beginnings of feeling free once again. It is like being a repeat offender, and coming out of prison after a second or third term... the next 25 days (this is day 2) will be like getting used to life on the outside.

The temptation will be at every door... the 'easy money' options. But I don't want that 'life of crime' anymore. I want my wife to fall in love with me again. I want my kids to feel my love, not my anger. I want to start my life over.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar
I did it. Today I am going to start taking care of my illness. I am going to go to work, but I am sick and I will treat myself that way. Pamper myself...I won't overextend (I have a very bad habit of doing that).....I will come home and drink my camomile tea.....I miss my camomile tea every night! Now that sounds wonderful and I am so looking forward to getting into bed completely sober and SLEEPING....
and I will read my book....so many things I don't do as a drinking person!! I am actually excited to start over.... I guess I am finally ready

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

As soon as I posted and reread it, that devil AL started saying "yeah, you feel this way now, but wait until 5pm today after a long day at work.......HA!"
GO AWAY....YOU ARE BANISHED FROM MY THOUGHTS

[HopingCarnations]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

Muso, we have a little in common, I was sober between 2007-2009 too, and today is also day 2 for me! The boredom part of sobriety frightens me too. I'll definitely go back to your post to read every now and then, when I'm looking for encouragement.

Yesterday was day 1 AF for me, and I felt exhausted all day. I took a 3 hour afternoon nap. I don't think I've done that since like....3rd grade. I woke up feeling great this morning. It made me realize how crappy I've been actually feeling. A lot of nights I tell myself, "I didn't drink as much as normal, so I should feel fine in the morning. Now I know I DIDN'T feel fine, I still felt like CRAP. Working on day 2 AF, and I hope I'll be able to post here tomorrow morning saying I'm on day 3.

I hope you all have a wonderful AF day!