Newbies Nest

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Just came home from work. I had been thinking about you guys all day long. This is all new to me and I cannot believe that I had waited so long to receive all the support with MWO. I was aware of the forum a few years back but never had the "balls" to enter myself. Honestly, it was the shame. I never thought this platform will be efficient for me. So all I did was reading from time to time (on my shitty hang over days) and promise myself to quit..
I don't know what made me think that I can do it on my own. How stupid was it not to use the help and support???. I mean of course I am doing it on my own: taking different routes from the liquor store, not having any AL in the house, not drinking, voiding the thoughts of craving but still having you guys in my life now is such a huge relieve. I am also "dealing" with this on my own. AL is my best kept secret. It is like I am living a double life. I think that it is easier for single people cause no one really knows what happens behind closed doors. There is really no one to see us when we really get fu**d up. I just wanted to say thank you all. Being here really softens the struggle.:thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to say I survived my 13+ hr day of watching my grandsons. They are 2 1/2 & almost 5 & full of energy!!! I never, ever could have done this hung over - really I quit because I wanted to be the non-drinking, non-smoking, totally present granny & I AM :H :H

Lucky, the companionship here helped me do what I couldn't do on my own. I tried so many times over a period of about 10 years. What I did was I failed to change my thinking & my approach to just about everything. I didn't totally get the 'gratitude thing'! Glad to have you with us.

Congrats to everyone for making it thru another sober day!
Do it again tomorrow, you'll never be sorry.
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Lav, LF,
I have to say the same about the companionship being so helpful here. i've gotten sober a number of times before by myself, yet this one feels different, and I know the difference lies here where I can post when in need or celebration of staying sober or the mundane things that I do. It has helped me get over the hump of wishing I could still drink to knowing that I don't give a damn about drink. It certainly doesn't give a damn about me. Reading, posting, and reading here often has been and remains a big help. i'm not alone!! There are so many willing and helpful people and I'm grateful to all them

Sam

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Sorry for not posting much lately. I'm having connectivity issues just now. Dave sorry you got banged up so bad. That made my hand hurt just reading it.
Rahul only one thing makes that horrible guilty feeling better. Not drinking. Soon you will be proud and happily going about your day with your head held high an af man.
Free. That is the most important word in my vocabulary right now. I am free. From guilt. From needless, self inflicted pain. From mind numbing anxiety. And from so much more. I love that little word.
Thanks for the inspirational posts no sugar. Like you said, each day we put it off stopping the madness only gets harder, not easier.
Have a great mae everyone.
Dream. My daughter and I fully explored the slut's wool thing last night. I now know the origin and some related history. Very fun. Thanks for a secret term we will use in the future.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

TJAF;1572574 wrote: No Sugar, this was the message I was trying to bring to Rahul but you hit the nail on the head with far fewer words and in a much more powerful way. Well stated

I wish I can be strong as you all guys. Its day 1 for me again today (
Feel so sad, unlucky and alone.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

TJAF;1572574 wrote: No Sugar, this was the message I was trying to bring to Rahul but you hit the nail on the head with far fewer words and in a much more powerful way. Well stated

I wish I can be strong as you all guys. Its day 1 for me again today ( while having Al yesterday I thought what will I post today ... Maybe I should lie and say its day 3 .. But enough of lies ... Al really twists the brain.
Feel so sad, unlucky and alone.
Praying for a sober day ahead.

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

I want to feel great
I want to be proud of myself
I want my family to be proud of me
I want to feel free
I want to appreciate life
I want to share how great life is
I want to be get rid of AL
Al might win a war but I will win the battle
The struggle continues ... I WILL not drink today.

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Rahul,

I wish you wouldn't feel so bad. I know it sucks. Promising ourselves not to drink anymore and finding ourselves drinking again and feeling bad again. Don't beat yourself up. It is what it is and it's not easy. We all know that. That's why we are here. Wishing you a better day tomorrow. Your AF life will start. I am sure.:l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters, I have a couple minutes before I run out the door to work.
Welcome Lucky!:welcome:
Nosugar, your posts, as always, give so much.:l
I'm also wondering about some of our missing Nesters..fly in to let us know how you are!

Wishing you all a wonderful day!

Starfish, I think you have hit day 7. Very well done:h. It's so nice making this journey with you..

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Greetings Nester's near and not so far,

I am back in the game. I have allowed work issues to derail me the last few weeks, but i'm over them. The issues are still hanging, and should be resolved next week one way or another, but i'm over letting it upset me anymore. If i become unemployed, that's ok, i can survive and i'm prepared for the worst case scenario. Nothing can hurt me anymore, because right now, my personal health and sobriety are what's important to me, and my sobriety is now front and centre before everything. And you know what Nester's? It feel's really liberating and real cool.

The eye of the tiger, and the take no prisoners heavy metal mofo attitude with the gratitude is back. I am angry, but using it as a positive energy for self care.

Put some ocean in that motion y'all, and just do your best friends.

L8tr, Yo! :h

[available]

Newbies Nest

I am checking in and been a hectic week. Im tired, i am stressed and thought today on the way home "god i just want to get blind" and forget about it all. Mum has arrived in the building and she is bored, i am working and at the moment it is taking me an hour and a half to get home and it is only 29 kilometres home, when I do get home i have to amuse her, well i have to be sociable. Daughter gets married in 2 weeks this Sunday. A close patient of mine has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and he is my age. But it is so not worth "getting blind" anymore to deal with it all. I am trying to have some me time with a guy I have met and am faced with guilt for leaving the house and spending time with him.

Gees sorry for the rant but god it feels good to get it off my chest. In saying that I am doing well and I have not spent enough time on being here where i feel comfortable.

[noodle]

Newbies Nest

Hellooooooo Nesters, Sorry I've been absent for a few days, have missed ya x
Still on the wagon - God knows how, but I'm hanging on in there by the skin on my bleedin teeth. Welcome to RW and Lucky Flower - sorry if I missed anyone else, :welcome:, you are surrounded by as much love and support as any human can possibly handle!! Good luck on your journeys and looking forward to getting to know you x
Star fish - loving those FONTS man :H
BH - totally hearing you on that diet thing, I got weighed today, and despite my complete binge of crap for the last 2 + weeks, I've lost over 4 kilos - God knows how many calories must have been in that Red Wine man! Scary Skin is also starting to look a lot better, though my insides are still totally confused - hoping they are gonna catch up soon, have started to re-introduce some healthier food!
No Sugar - loved your post, sure is the gift you can give yourself, I don't wanna see if i could find a new ""Rock Bottom", I'm pretty sure I could surpass myself, somehow, given the chance. I too was turned off from going to the AA for religious reasons, but also because I work in a school, and know just about everyone in our community. Not sure if I would feel brave enough, but I really like spirituality, and get a lot of comfort from that, I just don't like religions. Oh well, something to think about.
Dottie Bell - Yup, even paying bills is MUCH better without a hangover :H
Rahul and Available, sorry you are feeling tense and a bit worse for wear. Glad you are still doing well Av, despite feeling outta sorts. x
Lav, hope you get your breath back from your Super Gran time - imagine that on a hangover - what a nightmare, still have done it a plenty, I hope never again!
As I say, no news really, just hanging tough still - just - had a rough few days with my youngest son, he's been bullied at school and so very unhappy, but we are hopefully sorting it. I was so sad last night, and went to the shop twice to buy a box of wine, but kept coming home with random objects. It's so weird, as other times I have stopped drinking, I've always had this constant battle of when will I have another drink, no just battle through today, mood swings for and against drinking constantly in my head, until I just can't hack it any more, and cave in. This time, I really feel resolved, as though the choice isn't mine anymore, I know for a fact what will happen if I have a drink. I don't want a drink, I want to get pissed. FACT. And getting pissed is just going to eventually kill me, and destroy my family. What is strange though, is just replacing all that time, and all those habits, with something else. I am finding it really bizarre doing stuff that I wouldn't normally do, it's not unpleasant, just really bizarre. I thought yesterday, I want that comfort of being who I know I am, of doing what I normally do, drink, and enjoy getting drunk. That was shortly followed up with, why do I want to get drunk, fall asleep, be ugly and rude, and regret it ALL in the morning, see my boys face of dissapointment AGAIN. Nope. I'm hoping that my mind will just get it's head around this new routine.
Anyway, tentatively dancing towards the weekend 9ohh that sounded way more dramatic than reality - me with face pack on eating a party pack of crisps, feet in foot bath, Coronation Street on TV and bottle of tonic water:H). These strange thoughts and random shopping trips have wobbled me a bit, but as I say, still hanging on in there, I think if I can get through this weekend, it will be another learning experience for me, and i'll hit 21 days
Will check in over the weekend, love ya all x

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

Mornin Nesters hope things are well.

Just a Real quick fly-bye cause Im kinda rushing off to work..

Thanks everyone on the sympathy for my hand but I think I overstated the problem . Its fine and nothing to worry about. The cut was more like a paper cut but man did that thing bleed .. and it was right on the knuckle so you know how that is lol.

Cant tell you how much I miss you guys. Things at work with the shrinkwrapping is hectic but Im thinking there will be a day of relaxing in the near future.

I will catch up with the nest hopefully tomorrow ( got the kids for dinner tonight ) oh and an update on that front in the next few days to come..( got served by her with her affidavit .. there is no depths at which some people goto to further their agenda )

Oh crap look at the time .. gotta run . Bye and have a great AF day everyone !

:l:thanks:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Chilly but sunny today

Congrats to Starfish on 7 AF days, yay!

Rahul - it's a choice! Choose to be sober & just don't drink.

Life is tough at times but that doesn't we have to choose to invite AL in - only makes things much worse
I am off now to the funeral for my 89 year old aunt. She had a long life, bless her!

Have a terrific AF Thursday everyone!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Noodle, this sounds like it would take so much more strength than I've ever had! :

and went to the shop twice to buy a box of wine, but kept coming home with random objects.

Although I'm totally impressed, I hope you don't have to exercise your will-power muscle that intensely too often - just not going to the store at all is enough! I hope you like the cool random stuff you purchased . I'm sorry about how your son is being treated - it hurts twice as much as if it were you, doesn't it? Hang in there and enjoy the AF weekend!

Thanks for stopping by, Available. I got so used to seeing you around often, it was weird not to. I'm glad you are ok on the AF front but you sure have a lot of balls in the air! Have fun!

Rahul - your posts are like poems of desire to be free from this. You did it before and you can do it today. Just do that for now.

It popped up on my calendar today that I have been doing this for 9 months and boy oh boy has it been a long 9 months - right up there with my pregnancies which also seemed to take forever! We are supposed to be mindful, in the moment, and slow down for our psychological health. Well, learning not to drink does that for you! No meditation required (although i am learning that it helps!). You have to take it a day at a time and "stay in the present" so you don't take a drink. For at least awhile, you count your days and they sure seem to add up slowly. There are a lot of former drinking + sleeping hours to fill with something. I have been bored with myself sometimes and that really slows life down, too.

But like the 9 month periods of being sick, tired, and physically awkward were nothing compared to the incredible gifts of our children, the life I have now has been more than worth the struggles of the last several months. I truly feel like I've been reborn.