Newbies Nest
Hi Londoner; I quit the day after you, so we're kindred spirits in my twisted mind. I stopped smoking about 20 years ago. I smoke in my dreams. I still occasionally fantasize about smoking just occasionally and not being an addicted chain smoker. I am grateful that I am so 'new' to sobriety. Just 2 weekends ago I was out on a 'wild and fun' binge - but it wasn't wild or fun. I was drunk, still talking, drinking, dancing, yet totally blacked out. I'm told there was a birthday cake, people sang, I opened gifts, we danced, I bought several rounds. Don't remember any of it - wonder if I had a good time? When I'm honest with myself - it wasn't fun or any of the exciting adjectives we attribute to partying or having cocktails. I was miserable the next day, hungover, remorseful, depressed - and thinking about having my next drink. And I did it all over again that night.
I saw the cycle and realized it wasn't fun. I am not drinking today. I tell myself this every day. I do think about drinking - the minute I start glamorizing it or even think about it - I either kick it out of my end or I'm lost and back on the . . . (what do you call that thing that caged mice run on that goes around and around???). THAT.
One drink is going to do nothing for me. One is never enough. I have never had just ONE. or just TWO. So, why bother?
Since I'm rambling (as I've been known to do), once I put it out of my mind - the drama is over. I am no longer in agony with thoughts of having a drink, buying a bottle, going out for drinks, talking myself into it, talking myself out of it, rationalizing and justifying. I'm just not and the conversation is over. It really is freedom. I hope you find some.
Londoner;1573113 wrote: How long does it take for the brain to stop thinking about the 'wild and fun' nights you have had on booze?
Generally when my body is feeling better after a social binge my brain starts to think about going out partying more. I know it is trying to trick me. And make me feel jealous when I see friends are out together 'living it up'
I have to remind myself that I am never going to progress in life if I keep drinking in the weekend.
(Note the use of ' ')
Generally when my body is feeling better after a social binge my brain starts to think about going out partying more. I know it is trying to trick me. And make me feel jealous when I see friends are out together 'living it up'
I have to remind myself that I am never going to progress in life if I keep drinking in the weekend.
(Note the use of ' ')
I saw the cycle and realized it wasn't fun. I am not drinking today. I tell myself this every day. I do think about drinking - the minute I start glamorizing it or even think about it - I either kick it out of my end or I'm lost and back on the . . . (what do you call that thing that caged mice run on that goes around and around???). THAT.
One drink is going to do nothing for me. One is never enough. I have never had just ONE. or just TWO. So, why bother?
Since I'm rambling (as I've been known to do), once I put it out of my mind - the drama is over. I am no longer in agony with thoughts of having a drink, buying a bottle, going out for drinks, talking myself into it, talking myself out of it, rationalizing and justifying. I'm just not and the conversation is over. It really is freedom. I hope you find some.
awprint:
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