Newbies Nest

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon Nesters

Hope everyone is well this fine Sunday! (The weather here is anything but fine, but I am trying to be positive!) :H

Min, good job on recognising your triggers and making a plan to act on them. Posting is a good way to pass the time when those AL thoughts come a knocking!

Welcome Bougainvilla It is hard to face up to our drinking and how bad it is, but it has to be done if we are to beat the beast! You say the last few days have been really bad, why not give yourself a break? You've found a really good place here with lots of help and support.:welcome:

Lav, hope you have a great day with your granddaughter, they sure keep you busy!

I'm off to an AA meeting shortly, this is the first group I went to two weeks ago, a great bunch of people.

I know a lot of people are a bit 'meh' about AA, I know I was, but I have been very pleasantly surprised. I am not doing 12 steps or anything 'yet'...the main message I have been getting out of just about every meeting is 'if you don't lift the first drink you can't get drunk' and getting through it one day at a time. (or one hour, or minute if that's what you need!)

I hope everyone is having a peaceful, happy, and sober Sunday! :h

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

I need serious help.

I went out last night. I want even planning on, but i returned to my old selfish ways.

Got ridiculously drunk. Spent money i dont have, and ruined two weeks of good progress. And here I am wasted in bed knowing I'm gonna struggle psychologically this week.

I just wanna jump off a cliff. Why can't I be normal for once?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong and in Control;1574497 wrote: MAE Everyone
I'm behind on reading the posts and want to catch up tonight. Today I need to remind myself (and I need to do some convincing) that I believe I can live a life without alcohol, and also renew my commitment not to drink. I didn't drink yesterday - was the first time I seriously wanted to, and entertained thoughts of how I could handle just one drink. The conviction that I felt so strongly last weekend has waned and I'm going to get it back. Sometimes even sober people don't feel so great and positive. I'm not drinking today. Still not happy with my AF choices for dinner beverages. Don't particularly enjoy anything iced, fizzy or acidic and a glass of tepid water doesn't hold as much charm as a chalice of red wine. Hmmm - do I sound like I'm idolizing? I'm not drinking today.

Thanks for the video link, Strong - it's a beautiful piece.

Anyone who makes it to MWO is pretty good at denial and not letting ourselves think about the painful, deep-seeded truths about the lives we're living. Well, now is the time to use those well-honed skills. Just as you used to say to yourself

I could stop if I wanted to.
Red wine is good for your health.
I never drink and drive.
I like the taste.
And all that BS that used to deny your sad reality.

Now cut off those thoughts of your ability to have just one or the image of a wine glass as a chalice with a simple

I don't drink.

Just like the old easy phrases that kept you from stopping, this one can stop you from starting again and plunging into that abyss that we all know so well.

Deny the upsides of drinking alcohol. I'm not sure they exist, anyway.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

bougainvillea;1574493 wrote: . I'm not good at being honest about this. Like many of you, I've spent a lot of energy covering it up. Hopefully by redirecting some of that energy here, I can keep moving in the right direction.

Hi, Bou (hope you don't mind a shorter name !)

I was not honest about this either, most importantly to myself. After joining MWO and opening up about what was going on, I realized that this old saying really means something:

The truth can set you free!

Read and post and read and post. Don't drift away. Don't lie to yourself any more. Ask questions. Share your fears.

The nest is a safe place - so glad you are here! :h NS

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

It's a Good evening here, it is! Except for the fact that it's dark at 5pm--
I've spent the day relaxing. It seems I've had a terrible headache for the last couple of days--

I'mstrong, was thinking of what you said.. that people who don't drink also have difficult times and bad or blah days. I didn't expect headaches once I stopped drinking, damn it! I'm really into teas right now-- all sorts of herbal mixes, yogi teas, green teas-- I make a huge pot then drink it hot, warm and cold. It has taken a while, but I've trained myself not to have the drinking with dinner (or cooking) association. I began by not eating things I'd always accompanied with wine--cheese, being the main thing!-- and I found the more I practiced, the easier it became. If you think of some great drinks, let us know!

Londoner, I don't know what to say..:l I think you have to just keep on trying. You said you'd wanted to give it month before you tried going out again-- and 2 weeks just wasn't long enough. It's tough, but necessary to change our normal routines. To find other things we enjoy doing that don't involve alcohol or people drinking heavily-- at least for a long while. I don't think you're giving yourself enough of a chance. You CAN do this-- I believe it. Try not to be too hard on yourself today-- get some sleep, eat some good food, drink a lot of water-- and tomorrow you'll come up with a solid plan.

Welcome Bougainvillea!:welcome: Wonderful to have you here-- You made a great choice flying into this cosy Nest-- let us know a bit more about yourself, if you feel like it!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

ooops, wasn't done!

Bhalo, just wanted to say I'm happy to hear about your positive aa experience-- I really liked Living Sober-- great book. If we had more convenient meeting times around here I would go. I think it's fine to give and take what you want from it. If you feel like doing the steps at some time, fine, and if not, fine--

J-vo.--:goodjob: on 7 days!! You're walking the walk.. and on the right path. Great to have you here--

Nosugar!! HI! I haven't seen the little white pumpkins here, but I'm going to have a look. I'm making all sorts of little finger food type things, some pumpkin muffins and some sort of yummy soup. Three of the girls are going as dead opera singers, the little one will be an arctic fox-- and two others are undecided. And we don't have school or work on Friday. This is the first year I'm really excited about Halloween instead of overwhelmed about the amount of work. :l to you!!

Lav, are you dressing up the 32 little warriors? :H

Big hello to DO! You sound like you're doing well..

xo to all

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Sorry I wandered off. I hope you haven't waited too long. I ended up outside raking and cleaning up leaves etc. in my yard for 3 hours. Then I went to the theater to see "Bad Grandpa". Oh my goodness that is a totally rude, gross, filthy, movie filled with lots of mad language and really inappropriate stuff. I LOVED IT! However if you tell anyone I will deny it.

Well in 6 sleeps I will wake up with one year of sober under my belt. 365 days, 21,900 hours, 1,314,000 minutes, 78,840,000 seconds, 1 Christmas, 1 New Years Eve, I Valentines Day supper, 1 St. Patrick's Day, 1 Easter, 1 end of the school year celebration, 1 summer of camping, 1 back to school celebration and 1 Thanksgiving (Oct. in Canada). Not to mention family and friend's birthdays and every day of the week that has a 'y' in it.

A year ago, in the middle of the night, I found MWO and it changed my life. My story is very similar to everyone else who is currently on MWO or the ones that fly in and out to touch base and check on the newbies and regulars. I posted faithfully for the first few months because I had to have a place to post how I felt and to get me through some serious cravings. I would find that there were so many people dealing with the same issues. It didn't matter what part of the world we came from, what time zone we lived in, our occupation, skin colour, social class, religious beliefs, ethnicity, male or female, alcohol (AL) treated us all the same.

Well when I first started there were a couple situations where a person who had almost a year in fell victim to AL. They had to start over at day one. At the time I thought how did that happen? You were so close. I thought it should be easier by then.

Well I am now where they were then. Let me warn all you newbies or 6 monthers or more, AL STEPS UP HIS GAME the closer you get to 365 days. He will throw a lot at you and put "stink'n think'n" in your head. He sees you getting close to this new check point (I almost said finish line but this isn't the finish, it is not the end) and he is stepping up his game.

Here are some of the things that he has done to me. He has put these thoughts in my head, "So what, you quick drinking for a year who really cares." " You have not had fun this year and you have become very boring." "Work is so stressful, you know that a drink would settle your nerves for at least a few minutes." "You are here all by yourself, who would know?" You stopped drinking for a year, maybe the "habit" of drinking everyday after work has been broken and you can just drink socially now." He just keeps coming at me one thought after another.

I guess my point is that this is going to get easier but to never let your guard down. Be prepared for all of AL's lies. I would feel discouraged when I saw so many people who had a good amount of time in, even years, fall victim to AL. I now know why. (for me anyway)

The life issues we dealt with at day 1 are still with us a lot of times at day 359. I still miss my kids, (empty nest), my job is still stressful, my husband still works away and is only home for 4 days and gone for 8 days, I still have manic depression (medicated), I still get frustrated at four way stops with the people who don't wait their turn!, I am still not a great housekeeper and wish I could be, I am still 55 years old with hot flashes and aging skin, my sister, brother and father still live 2 provinces away and I only see them once a year or so and I still remember that I liked the taste of alcohol.

So as I come to day 365 I want to remember that not drinking didn't add to my list of things in my life it took away something. Drinking caused me hardship and made me feel very bad about myself. So from day 1 until now the other things are still there but if I was to drink I would have to add it back to my list of things that I do not like about my life.

"DRINKING DOES NOT TAKE AWAY ANYTHING FROM YOUR LIST OF STRESSORS, IT ADDS TO IT!"

Oh that is a good one! For me I have to remember that it is still a choice not to drink. I ask myself, "Would having a drink make this moment any better?" "Would having a drink only make you mad at yourself and cause you to hate yourself and beat yourself up like you used to?" Sometimes I will say I want a drink so bad! and my husband will say, "No you don't" I say, "Actually, YES I DO!. I won't have one but I really do want one!" This happens less often now though. It used to be every day. Now at the end of the day I think, hey I didn't think about drinking today. Cool!

Well my post isn't to scare anyone or make you feel disheartened. It is meant to show you that you have to always be on guard to AL and his antics to try and keep you from what you want, a sober life. I am one that will always tell you straight. I will say after all that, that I am so proud of myself! I know some may say "Pride goeth before a fall." But I am going to risk it. Be proud of your day 1, Day 32, Day 210 or 520. Whatever your number is. We know that you are doing great!

I didn't use smileys this time because I felt more serious about my post today than I thought I would. Thank you for reading.

See you on day 365. Nanette out!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Nanette, thank you so much for taking the time to post your experiences up to this point. It's always good when someone trusts and cares enough to open up and share. Learning to enjoy life again, to deal with the hardships, to find new ways to deal with stress and relax, to be grateful for each wonderful day we have-- not to become complacent. That is my biggest "worry" -- that I will forget about how bad it was. Thank you again...

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Nanette, what a powerful post - thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Nanette- lovely lovley post. Thank you. It's so true that we can never become complacent. The al mind is a dangerous friend when we hit milestones. So many thoughts to tempt us. Keep strong and work through your triggers. Thank you again for coming on and haring. This has come at a poignant time for me :-) x

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Nanette for sharing your thoughts and for keeping us newbies aware that we will always be fighting this beast. AL helps us rationalize and as you say, he knows about the time when we might be complacent and say - oh what the heck! We're just one trick and a lie away from being back in his grips. Congrats on your strength - looking forward to celebrating your 365 day mark!

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters from a very cold and rainy Scotland! I am glad to be home and cosy in my jammies, it is really horrible out there!

Londoner, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I was thinking about you last night and had a feeling you had gone out. I made pizza too! It seems to me (forgive me if I am wrong!) you beat yourself up very badly each time, the remorse is long lasting and you really give yourself a kicking over it. For your own sake, try not to do that to yourself this time. You say you didn't plan to go out, what happened? Get a strategy in place for next weekend and don't be so hard on yourself. You are getting there, step by step :l

Nanette, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us, I found out to my cost that complacency cannot come into it if we are to beat AL for good. Well done on a year AF, that's a tremendous achievement!

LC, good to see you and thank you. I was chatting with a few friends tonight at the meeting about how I thought I would struggle with the 'higher power' being an atheist. For me, right now, my higher power is the collective humanity, honesty and friendship of the people I have met in AA.

I am still feeling grateful, for just about everything. My warm house and my jammies especially, but most of all for being sober. Hugs to everyone, I hope all are safe and well and sober tonight. :l

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all,
Church this morning then visited dad. Watching some football and taking it easy. Strange watching football without wine but I will remember the game this way.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone!
Sorry, I am just checking in since yesterday afternoon. Have been busy, busy, busy! I have a church meeting to go to in just a bit, but will read back tonight. Hope everyone is doing well! Have a wonderful sober night, all...today is the beginning of a brand new week. Let's work to make it a great one.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey nesters. Just checking in before I turn in for the night.
Hope everyone is safe and warm

Night night