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    Newbies Nest

    Just coming back to say the nest truly helped me stay on the AF path, since I've stopped posting, I started drinking (hoping that after 5 1/2 months AF , I could moderate). At first it seemed to be okay, just a glass of wine at a friend's wedding for a toast, a couple of more at a birthday celebration and now I'm back to where I started.Once an Alcoholic, always one, impossible to control the AL beast, it is back in my life and now starting at day one again.....

    PROTECT YOUR QUIT, REALIZE THAT IT HAS TO BE FOREVER...I was very proud of mine
    On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

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      Newbies Nest

      Good evening Nesters,

      I had a great day with my granddaughter, her parents came for dinner & all have gone home. A day like this, playing out in the sunshine with a beautiful 2 1/2 year old, baking cookies, singing her favorite songs is so much better than guzzling a bottle of wine or two. I am grateful

      halo, glad you are back. That urge to moderate after some AF time is pretty typical but doesn't work for most of us. Accept that knowledge as a lesson learned & get back on the sober bus with us!

      Nanette, I'm so happy to hear you are approaching your one year AF anniversary - good for you.

      Grandsons costume sewing is complete & NO, I will not be dressing up my 32 mini chickens for Halloween.

      Hope you have a cozy night BH - I saw the weather report for the UK - doesn't look good!

      Londoner, what are you going to do differently? Drinking always leaves you feeling lousy, so why keep doing it? I hope you can access some hypno/meditation tracks to help you change your thinking.

      Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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        Newbies Nest

        Good evening nesters!

        Nanette thanks for sharing your experience with us. I especially thank you for telling it like it is. Life is better without AL but life still goes on. Shifty things still happen but we find better ways to cope.

        Londoner have you considered AA? I think having a friend to talk to and hang out with who doesn't drink might really help you? Meanwhile try to get some rest and be good to yourself. You are going through a rough patch but you can overcome this!

        Well I'm off to bed now, I hope you all sleep well and we'll tackle a new week together starting tomorrow, right?
        Newbies Nest
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        My accountability thread

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          Newbies Nest

          Evening all
          hope everyone had a good weekend, it seems to go by so fast, got lots of things done but never near enough and the days are perfect for working and now unfortunately getting shorter.

          Had a close call, or maybe more a wake up call the other day. Had a work related thing happened that made me think of having a drink. Then of course I realized what a bunch of bullshit that was, I could never have a drink. Then it made me reflect on how damn hard it was to make myself stop. So many days of stopping again, for at least a year before I really could make a string of time, after a week, I knew I was going to do ok for bit longer. Now I'm closing in on 6 months and it just was so close the other day. So I guess I've realized that bastard is there, always there looking for an opening. If I hadn't remember how hard it was to stop, I'm afraid I'd be back at it again and oh is that a living hell for me. I've worked too hard for that bastard to have his way with me, I can't let my guard down, I've enjoyed my sobriety way too much, I love that feeling of no hangover. So I now I know, it doesn't matter how long, it can happen any time, if YOU let it!
          Sam
          Liberated 5/11/2013

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            Newbies Nest

            Just a check in to say life is much better this Monday. I finally managed to get home without it taking me an hour and a half to drive 26 kilometres. The weather is improving slowly. We went to see my daughters wedding venue yesterday and hair is dyed so things are moving along slowly but surely. The next two weeks will be hectic before the big day but thats okay. Mum has settled in and we are getting used to each other. It is hard to have another in your house when you are used to doing your own thing.

            Life is good. I hope everyone is doing well AF.

            Have a great day.
            AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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              Newbies Nest

              call me the isolation queen.
              day 2
              went to aa meeting saturday and had a visit with my old AA sponsor.....taking baby steps.
              I just won't anymore

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                Newbies Nest

                Hey all - back on day 1. I actually had more to drink yesterday than I would normally. The scary thing being that my body is becoming more tolerant of the poison. Time to call it quits. So happy to say I am sick of it! This is the most determined I have felt in months.......
                IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Hey nesters - popping in to say :hello:

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Morning nesters!
                    Good job on your determination daisy! I hope this is your last one too :-) hello satz! How are you?

                    Things here are ok. Still feel the effects of drinking - feel spaced out even though haven't had a drink since Saturday night :-/ shocking the battering our bodies take. I guess when were on a continuous drinking rampage we become numb and don't feel normal and that state feels normal. After around 50 days not drinking and then having some this weekend I feel it!

                    Still- I am thankful for my sobriety and every time I fall I am determined to try again. More times I fall the more I learn and more determined I become.

                    Hope everyone is safe in the nest this morning. I'm off for something to eat and some work!

                    MinStar

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Good Monday morning Nesters,

                      I was up early & raring to go today :H
                      Good thing too because I will be super busy until after Christmas!

                      jennie, hope AA gives you the extra support you need
                      Good on day 2!

                      daisy, have you thought about going to AA? The face to face support has been helpful to many here. I'm glad that you are feeling determined.

                      Hello to satz!

                      Sam, just keep your focus & repel those drinking thoughts when they show up. You are doing great at almost 6 months

                      Hello to everyone & sending wishes for a great AF week for all!
                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Complacency. That is one of my biggest worries. I have so much to lose if I ever drink again. Staying close to mwo and the nest is my biggest defense against that monster al. Thank you Nanette. You make it clear that letting your guard down is disastrous for us.
                        Londoner I feel for you. How many times I have felt completely suicidal from chemical imbalances of the brain. I am going to take the gloves off for a minute. Stop going out and putting yourself into those situations. That is what I had to do. Drop all "friends" who live that lifestyle and get to know yourself and enjoy your own company. Spend time with people who live a sober life. They will help you by the example of living day in and day out without drinking and drugging. I'm sorry but if you feel anything like I use to someone needs to say it. We are here to help. Drink extra fluids and rest. I hope this hangover passes and you really make it this time. Last day 1.
                        Lav thinking about what those chicks would look like. What a funny picture! Glad you had a great Sunday.
                        Hope the weather gets better for you Bhalo.
                        No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Sorry guys I missed a few posts. Available I hear you about the house sharing thing. I really hope I don't snap. Ahhhhh!!!!!! You are doing great. Keep it up.
                          Sam I am glad you beat that monster down. I'm looking forward to your 6 months. Keep up the great work. I enjoy the quiet sincerity of your posts. Thanks for hanging tough with us and inspiring us to keep going.
                          No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Good morning, LB

                            I watched a video last night by a woman I have been watching and reading since The Sunflower introduced her on MWO a couple months ago (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QMzBv35HbLk) In this particular talk she discusses empathy vs sympathy, guilt vs shame, etc. I related much of what she said to what works vs what hurts in posts on MWO. I think yours, LB, are some of the most empathetic, and so the best and most helpful, I've ever read. We are so fortunate you are here :l.

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                              Newbies Nest

                              MAE everyone - so many of you have touched my heart today.

                              Nanette - I want to figure out how to bookmark your post. I'm on Day 14 and could have written some of it! It never stops, does it?

                              As you all share your struggles with and thoughts about AL, the mind games just demonstrate to me that the thoughts I'm having about drinking are not REAL. How could I even believe something this illogical - I binged and drank excessively for over 10 years (more like 30), drank daily for over a year, and after 2 weeks think I can moderate? (after unsuccessfully trying numerous times over the last 5 years). How silly. I know better and I'm smarter than that - it is the addiction talking.

                              Hey Londonder - everytime I think about drinking, I'm going to read your posts. Very clear message of the misery, agony and sorrow of drinking. You don't have to hit bottom to quit, but you can try. I hope you don't.
                              10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

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                                Newbies Nest

                                jenniech;1574925 wrote: call me the isolation queen.
                                day 2
                                went to aa meeting saturday and had a visit with my old AA sponsor.....taking baby steps.
                                We are back at the beginning together jenniech, I am on day 2 as well. We are learning and determined. Wishing you the best, first steps are the most important baby or not :l
                                On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

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