Newbies Nest

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Found a good link: leftside

As I am reading this I realized that I am getting the daily urge to stop off and grab my wine…It’s only day 2 and the fact that I can’t have it makes me want it more. Furthermore, I am extremely tired and I have no energy and my wine usually perks me up, at least for a little while. I took my Antabuse last night so I know that drinking is off limits, but I am already thinking in my head I can get it out of my system by Friday so I can “reward” myself for being good a week with a big bottle.
What is it about this drug that I am so fascinated with? Why do I think I need it so much? Stepping back and reading what I am writing about is like…what the hell??? I’m crazy! I take my meds to not drink and I want to avoid my meds to drink all in the same day. My lord who is this girl…I don’t think I have been sober since I was 15 years old (beside my two pregnancy’s). Somehow I think it makes me feel sexy and fun and free. But really I am probably looking like a complete jackass and loser for letting half my life be curropted by alcohol. I mean, I never had a bad childhood, my mom never drank, my dad did…maybe he made it look fun..I love the little buzzed head it gives me…it seems to shut off all the voices and problems I have to deal with on a day to day basis.
I certainly wonder if I will ever be free from the likes of alcohol!!!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I fought the battle tonight on the way home and I won
drove right past that damn liquor store

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Day 9 for me! Thank you all for your posts and encouraging words! I don't have time to read all the posts this evening, but I will.

Byrdlady, I enjoyed your post. Yes! I drank like an addict because that's what I am.

Have a wonderful evening.

j-vo

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

hi Honeysoup! I know that feeling-- exhausted, no energy, thinking that a glass of wine will perk me up. Temporarily until it no longer does! It's so difficult to get out of that spiral-- for me, it was a matter of doing anything and everything I could think of NOT to drink no matter what and no matter who-- I didn't have much experience with sobriety--like you, been drinking forever with the exception of pregnancies. I didn't know if I could or if I even really wanted to stop drinking forever. But I thought I owed myself the chance to try it out for 30 days-- I thought, and still think, though not easy, 30 days should be possible for anything. I decided to just BELIEVE what all the old-timers were promising about things like amazing sleep, feelings of gratitude, never waking up wishing they'd had a drink the night before (because none of us just have "a" drink), finding new interests in life, skin clearing up, etc., etc., etc.,-- I'm not so far along and I know I have to be on my toes and not become complacent, but I'm already (have been for awhile) reaping the benefits of having an AF life. It's not so difficult any more-- there are times, but like many people have said, it's easier than living in the hell of being controlled. I think you will find that you are more charming, funnier, sexier, more confident, more beautiful, more intelligent-- after a short time without alcohol in your life.:l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

Guitarista, super on those 7 days! So good to see you here-- I always love your posts..

Cat, :wd: 30 days is awesome!! Well done..

Jennie, :goodjob: on getting back into this cosy Nest-- and flying right by that stupid liquor store. Keep it up, stay here with us. If you begin to struggle, come here first and let us help and support you.
That goes for everyone-- all of us. It's so important to come here BEFORE acting on impulses, cravings, urges, etc. To try and connect with someone, or to simply read about the experiences of others. -- This is such an awesome place. Hugs to you all and see you tomorrow!

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

Hey everyone, good to see yall again. Im here to try again. Many changes going on in my life. Divorce, new place, therapy. Time to get my live back, or maybe just get a life. My therapist shared something with me i thought everyone here woukd benefit frim. Look up adult children of alcoholics, its wild. I am one for sure as is my sister. My dad drank but never got drunk or did embarrassing things he just drank everyday, it never seamed to affect him but i guess it affected us.

Love yor post birdie!

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Free making a quick fly by into the nest. Internet access is spastic, at best, here on my consulting gig. So, I think a few folks indicated that I have been "checking in with them" and wanting to see updates on how he/she is doing.

Yes, I have this special connection to the 311 gang, which includes I'm Strong, I Can, Siren, Halo, Halfway, I'm On My Way, and others. They were my "posse" so I have a vested interest in their success. So, folks, if I don't see you posting on MWO, yes, you will get a PM from me. We are in this together-- it is a process, not an event, and I am honoured to have your company on this journey.

Let's do this.

[Queenbug]

Newbies Nest

ok to snuggle up in the nest for a while?

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdie. Yes Mam, i feel great, and welcome back!

Good stuff Jennie! Yo FAL. Hiya Niner!

I'll have a cuppa with you Queenbug.

Congratulations Cat! Cool stuff.

Strap in y'all. Passing around the butt velcro......

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Jvo. I will have to add that week prior voice to my trigger. Start pulling out some serious tools as it's an indicator :-)

Another busy day followed by wanting a glass of wine or Somethif. Managed to stuff my face and I seem to have successfully told al to bugger off. Tough times as I am batting inner voice saying well you've huggered you al free days so one more won't hurt. Still hunger as a trigger so staying alert.


Sorry post is short and haphazard. Am off to bed and want to read a few more posts before I fall asleep. Sorry to those who've reached out but I've not a chance to respond.
Xxx

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

OK, so here's the scenario in my head that I am making public: "When my niece comes into town next month and I take her out to celebrate her engagement, I can have a raspberry martini, because I never drink more than 1, and it isn't red wine, so I'm ok and I can control it. When I fly to a friend's for thanksgiving, I can have a G&T on the plane, because I never drink more than 1, and it isn't red wine. At thanksgiving, I can have white wine (if they have it, else red) and slowly sip one glass, followed by 2 glasses of water and no sooner than an hour later can have another glass of wine. maybe a third because after all, it's a holiday and we haven't been together for several years. On another day, I can have an Irish coffee at that famous Irish coffee place, because I never drink more than 1 and it isn't red wine. And beer. Another time I can drink beer. I never have more than one and it isn't red wine. And when we are out at a restaurant, my husband and I can share a bottle of wine and then that will be it for the night. We won't have another. There won't be wine when I get home. See, I can moderate!! I never REALLY tried before - really. It was half-hearted. I'm stronger now and I never want to go back to being that everyday, sit at home wine drinker. I have willpower. etc." Discuss. I'm not drinking today or thinking about drinking today. or tomorrow. or the day after. Few more weeks until my niece comes. Oh- forgot one more "maybe I'm just addicted to RED WINE and NOT alcohol, because I can have just one of everything else".

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

CONGRATS Cat on 30 AF days, very happy for you

I'm Strong, your thinking out loud sounds like a clear plan to me to resume drinking. Is that what you really want? The inner voice you're listening to is the voice of addiction...it's AL trying to draw you back in

I have my daughter & granddaughter here overnight & am enjoying myself immensely. These special times would not be happening if I was still sitting around hugging a wine bottle - that's the TRUTH!

Welcome back Byrdie, you've been missed

Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!
Lav

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Strong

Your Addicted Voice is a pretty persuasive and reasonable-sounding one. It would be tough not to listen.

Personally, I think your alternative drinks will probably become very desirable to you when they aren't followed by the red wine. When you only have had one of each of these, did you have wine later that day or the next? I tried substituting white wine and drank too much of it even though I didn't like it .

Instead of looking ahead, how about getting the first 30 days done and see how you feel then?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'mStrong, I was waiting for the part where you were going to say, "but I know this can't happen because when have I EVER been able to control this". Surely you have seen this post 1000 times just like I have. What makes you think that you can control this thing that you haven't been able to control before? More knowledge? More self awareness? The problem with addiction is it doesn't care how much you are aware... AL is going to win. The problem is that the very model of what you are describing is what we all want....but cannot have. You've been at this a while....knowing what you've know does this plan really make sense? Or does it sound like desperation? I never had a problem with wine either until that's all I had. Al is Al. We are alcoholics, AL of any kind will do. That's why you have a sense of relief with this plan. You cannot outsmart AL. I promise. Try to let it go. It will be the best thing you've ever done. You don't need AL to enjoy your life. After all, look how it's helped you so far. It's all a lie. Don't fall for this. It's the oldest trick in the book. Please let it go. It's such a relief. Byrdie

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Congrats on 30 days Cat, am remembering how great it feels to have those AF days,,

Thanks for the nice thoughts free, I know a major part of achieiving my prior AF success was posting regularly, even when you feel you have AL beat. Back to posting , love your thread free