Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, All!

2 major awards going out today! I mean MAJOR!
Lifechange and Dottie B....please step forward! On behalf of the NN, please accept this award for meeting AND breaking your personal records of sobriety!! May you ALWAYS be in uncharted waters on this one! You never want to repeat a day in this journey!! Here's to fresh water from here on out!!!

:flush:

Here's for flushing AL out of your lives! No more settling for #2, you are now #1!!!!
Congratulations!!!! You are on a roll!!!

Prize Doodey

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATULATIONS, DOTTIE and L.C.
WE are SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

:applaud::alf::applaud:

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1576678 wrote:
2 major awards going out today! I mean MAJOR!
Lifechange and Dottie B....please step forward!

Congratulations Lifechange and Dottie!



You stuck together and did it! Hope you're as proud of yourselves as everyone here is of you!

:h NS

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Wow 60 days...that's so awesome!!!

Only day 3 for me but still hanging in there. Yesterday when I got home from work was pretty hard. I got extremely cranky and I knew it was because it was my witching hour...some how I made it through, popped my AB and went to bed at 8pm. Woke up and looked in the mirror and thought wow...for once I don't look like total shit in the morning...I gave myself a little smile...Long rode ahead but for now just doing the best I can. I will be popping in briefly throughout the day...Happy AF Hump Day!!!

[Chasing Shadows]

Newbies Nest

Hi :new:
I'm new & wasn't going to post anything just yet but Honeysoup - your description 'witching hour' just made me laugh out loud & think "OMG - that's just what happens to me" so, ummm, well - thanks I guess! :thanks:

I'm guessing Hump Day is Halloween???

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Congrats to all the huge milestones! Now that's the way it's done...you guys are kicking AL's ass! Keep up the great work :h

Strong - No word on the job yet...waiting SUCKS. I mean seriously, what is the effin delay? Pick the person you want and release us from this waiting torture. I've interviewed with the lady twice, she either likes me or not. Make a damn decision! Maybe I should email her those exact words??? LOL

My daughters Ala-Teen meeting was a little hyper last night, she said they were all cracked out on halloween candy, but the counselor, or leader (whatever it's called) told her that normally they take it very seriously. My daughter said she will go back next week. I didn't pry for details...they come when she's ready...and they ALWAYS come, so I just have to be patient (yet again...you'd think I'd be ok with waiting by now, but I'm NOT)

Honey....I am proud of you for making it to day 3. Have you ever thought of poppin' that AB in the morniing while you are looking at your pretty/refreshed self in the mirror? Smile and pop that pill girl...you CAN do this. I take mine every morning, rain or shine, Monday or Saturday...it's going down the hatch!

Ok...guess I better get busy WAITING. LOL

Keep up the good work everyone...Byrdie your award was perfect! All the AL ended up being flushed anyway...but we are saving our livers all that work and strain. Way to go everyone!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Chasing Shadows!

Glad you've joined us! Hump Day is what us Americans call Wednesday...the middle of the week, getting over the "hump"....get it? :H

Please tell us about yourself! You've landed in a great place. We know what you're going through, and we can help!

Again...welcome!

K9

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Chasing Shadows - I can't take full credit for using the terms "Witching Hour" but totally fits. I'm a complete bitch/witch...but after about an hour or two it goes away and I am back to my sweet self Hump Day is known as Wednesday getting over the hump from the middle of the week...lol!!! I thought everyone knew that!! - I'm only on day 3 so I'm still a little cray cray...people here are very supportive though so keep coming back.

K9 - I can't take the pill in the morning...it makes me so tired and gives me a bad headache so I take it at night. I have to ask, after all this time why did your daughter start going to these meetings? I would be freaked out too thinking all kinds of thoughts...I am a big worrier so I would probably think the worst. I think you should have no fear...from what I can tell your a great mom...everyone makes mistakes and its hard but I am sure she knows that you were just sick and going through rough times...:l

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Chasing Shadows

:welcome:

Your avatar captures it! -- that feeling of living a lie with the person the world sees seeming to be fine when inside, you know you're not.

This is a great place to get away from alcohol and become the person you want to be - inside and out.

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1576652 wrote: Good morning Nesters & happy hump day!

I'm strong, I kindly suggest that you stop giving AL so much head space. I found it's much safer to dismiss any & all AL thoughts as soon as they entered my head. Closing the door soundly & firmly on AL has kept him out of my life for nearly 5 years now

CONGRATS Dottie & lifechange on 60 days AF :yay:
Keep moving forward you two, you'll never be sorry!

wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!
Lav

Hi all and happy AF hump day!

Reading the book that Wine-No! recommended entitled, The Rational Recovery. Talks about how we have an inner voice (an addicted voice) that we need to learn to ignore. The book gives some good tips/tricks for first recognizing this voice, then ignoring it. One of his tips is also to quit counting the days because it does give AL headspace.

I saw this post Lav and I know the bolded sentence had more to do with listening to the beast and allowing it to rationalize itself in our heads, but wondering if the counting of days doesn't also give it room to breathe. We've talked about this before in the nest and at first it's a very good accountability tool and I think that's the purpose of the roll call.

Wondering once we get to a point (and each person's point is different) where we're not thinking AL 24/7, does the mere counting of days do just that? i.e., allow "it" to reenter our thoughts?

Maybe I'm stating the obvious or asking a stupid question, but curious to hear from senior members or long-term abstainers. At what point did you lose track (or did you?)

Thanks,
~San

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

:welcome: Chasing Shadows! You have landed in a great place to beat your battle with Alcohol. We are glad you found us!

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Honey, it's not "only" Day 3: it is DAY THREE - be proud of each and every one of them. Give them names, for that matter.

In my first week, I took a bath during the witching hour, taking a mug of coffee with me - it would normally have been a glass of wine (to help me relax, of course) with a refill or two. (Baths are a serious matter chez Dream). It gets better, really. I now don't mind sitting outside, watching the mountains change colour as the sun sets, mug in coffee nearby. Wouldn't have dared doing that that first week.

Chasing, welcome!!! The Nest is a great place. It can be intimidating at first because you don't know anybody, but you'll soon get the hang of it.

K9, waiting games are so awful. We are/were so used to immediate gratification, that we still want things to happen NOW simply because we WANT them to happen now.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Hello all,
Thanks so much for the kind words and great awards!! I feel so much better and know that I could not have made it this far without you ALL..this place is so great and I am grateful to have found it.
I agree that not giving AL head space is so important. Lately I have had little cravings but have quickly distracted myself to get past it.
Onward to the big 90!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Chasing Shadows! We're glad you're here! Just jump in, there's no right or wrong way to do it....just be part of it! Be sure to check out the Tool Box below in my signature line...full of tips to help you.

Sanchez, I will weigh in here. I haven't read any books (I fully intend to!) but in my experience personally and being on this site since early 2010, I DO have an opinion about counting days. As you may know, I tried for a solid year to quit, under the guise of moderation.... I'd get a few days and fall...rinse, repeat. When I got frustrated with it all, and found that I couldn't make my quit stick, I lashed out saying that counting days was ridiculous and only made the time drag on more slowly. It wasn't until I got SERIOUS about my quit that my days AF REALLY mattered. If I didn't take my quit seriously, I didn't take my count seriously, either. I have found that you can't manage what you can't measure. I think my first 30 days were the most important for me to count...I sort of kept it up (at that time there were no prizes or roll calls) but I did count all the way out to 100 days and shot for that goal instead of counting every single day. After that, I didn't keep up with it so much as just noticing that another month had gone by on the calendar. I firmly believe that EVERY addict knows his quit date, and knows pretty much how long it's been. I have seen on these boards people who get frustrated and say they are not going to count anymore, they are just going to do it....I have never seen this work. I pay attention to such things, because it happened to me.
This is my opinion and observation alone....this other guy has a book and I don't, but I've seen 1000's of people come and go from this site and that's what I have noticed.
The most successful people on this site keep up with it, I just noticed Lav ...(mentioning that she had almost 5 years). All I know to do is what she does, and it works for her and so far, it's sure working for me!
Great question, looking forward to other responses! t

[Chasing Shadows]

Newbies Nest

WOW! Thanks for the welcome - K9, Honeysoup & NoSugar:thanks:
I don't know what I expected but I really didn't think anyone would reply so quickly. Feel a complete idiot now ..... Wednesday is Hump Day! That's a great description I'll carry about with me from now on! Over here there's loads of descriptions for midweek but that was a new one on me!

About me? Well, I guess that since I'm here I'm trying to admit I've a problem? I'm a closet drinker, not to the degree that I'm oblivious every night but I regularly hide small voddi bottles in hidey holes (usually my sewing cupboard). I used to be completely T-Total, never touched a drop aside from the odd SINGLE glass of wine with a meal on a special occasion. Now I look at myself & say "Girl - you have a problem".

It started slowly as these things do, one bottle on a Friday night here & there. Then my marriage started disintegrating slowly & the worse it got - the more I drank. Just enough to 'soothe' me through yet another evening with Monster Man.

I think I honestly thought that once I finally divorced him on the grounds of mental cruelty to me & my daughters - that I'd magically stop. I thought that all my problems would be over & I wouldn't need to drink to escape, I would just return to that person who had the odd glass of wine here & there. But no, if anything it's worse not better.

Witching hour strikes now just the same as it did when I used to hide from Monster Man in the kitchen, taking as long as humanly possible to clear up the dinner things whilst my girls hid in their bedrooms doing their own thing. We'd all do anything just to stay out of his way.

But, even though my life is completely different now it's out with the voddi quickly whilst my partner's in the shower, have a quick couple of generous glasses & hide it away. My partner thinks we don't drink in the week. I've news for him..... HE doesn't drink in the week but I do.

I'm wrong, I'm so wrong - I should be happy now. I beat myself up every night, lying there thinking "you need to stop this". I've poured bottles away, promising myself I won't do this again but I always do.:upset:

I've had AF days, never really thought of counting them up. I know how much better I feel after an AF evening & yet I always slip back.
Oh dear, I'm rambling on. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to blurt this out yet. :blush: