Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

:l Chasing,
Your story sounds very familiar. If you have not had a chance yet, please just take the opportunity to read back a few weeks through some of the threads (Newbies Nest is as good a place as any to start)...You will see that you are not alone. You will also see that you can succeed in beating this addiction. It just takes commitment (which you must provide), some support (which you have here) and a good plan (you can find examples of this in the toolbox that Byrdlady mentioned).
Again, we are glad you found us, Chasing!
:h Star

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Chasing - It's good to get to "know" you. As you read back you will start to know us too! Stick close. The people that are succeeding at beating AL on these boards post ALL the time, it's like a sounding board that keeps us sane and focused (and hopefully helps others!) Please...keep "rambling"....we like it!

Honey - I wasn't really concerned about my daughter going to that meeting...hell, I'd volunteer to be a speaker if they asked me to. I do not mind putting all my business "out there"...maybe too much sometimes...you guys may be sick of me! LOL Sometimes I give out a little too much info...but I noticed that I REALLY started to recover when I was 100% honest with MYSELF. At this point I will admit to anything and everything. HA

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

Dream ? thanks you for the reminder that DAY THREE is a great accomplishment?Thank you!
Sanchez ? Very interesting scenario and a great way to make you(me) think. I can?t wait to be able to avoid the annoying AL voice. She?s tricky!!! Thoughts on whether to count days or not, I am not sure??? I guess it depends on the person, you have to do what will keep you the most in control. Try it both ways, I don?t think I could quit counting only because along this journey this is how so many people do it. I have often wondered myself that the more I turn to get help the weaker I feel. I tried AA for a few weeks but it was way to sad and depressing ?it?s all I would think about?I don?t want my life to be revolved around drinking but I don?t want to waste my life over obsessing not to drink. I wonder my self if it will ever go away
Chasing ? I love that you have shared your thoughts, it?s the best way to feel a little hope and freedom from the AL voices. Keep posting and reading?that?s what I am trying to do. We can do this girl!!!
K9 ? Being and open book definitely has some perks on your soul. It helps not to hide the demons and let them know you are not afraid anymore and won?t hide from them!

[Queenbug]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all...thank you for being out there..in and out of the nest...struggling through witching hour at end of another day 3...mood swinging all over the place...good job my puppy dog is so sweet...she's helping me through this just by being adorable : )).....hope you all have a good evening/day/lunch/night x

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

I count af days because each one is precious to me. It means I have beaten that demon another day. And I mjust remain vigilant for tomorrow.
Chasing thank you for sharing some of your story.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I have counted and not and counting keeps me honest and accountable. AND the awards are worth waiting for!!.

[odat1234]

Newbies Nest

I found that if i dont count i dont stay af. If i say im not counting that is just al getting in my head.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Comgrats to Dottie and lifechange! Well done.
Strong- yes silly voice. Thank
Fully wasn't around for much today :-)

Available- where are you. Hope all is well with you.
Still catching up on posts but wanted to shout out to some of you. Will spend rest of my evening reading and then bed :-)

Stay safe nesters :-)

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

i keep screwing up.
byrdlady: I am so sorry that I let you down
You too No Sugar
crap
I am so good at everything I do ..... except this.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Sanchez,
Good question. I have often wondered how much to be 'caught up' in counting numbers when simply not drinking and knowing you haven't drunk should be enough.

For me- and this is my limited experience. As Byrdie said -I like to count- especially a the beginning. It makes me accountable and I feel like I have accomplished something. I also like the awards :-). Once I have solid few months in I found counting wasn't such a big deal... Each week or month that passed was another week and month. I did have somewhere the 6m and 9m and 1yr mark in mind. Especially the last one. I even had a calculator on my phone that I could switch to to see how many days. At the beginning I was checking it every day at least once. The. I would pop on to check randomly as I would have forgotten how many days had passed. I think in hindsight it may be this complacency (amongst other things) that many have led to some evenings of drinking and eventually a 6m relapse :-(
So I guess Sanchez, there is no black and white answer from my.experience. I need to count at the beginning, even though it may be taken headspace, whtout counting the thought of drinking would be taken that space. Later it wasn't such a priority as my head space was taken but other things completely. Interestingly I gues the thought to drink was in their somewhere for me to relapse.

I digress! Hope that was helpful :-)

Also- I think Someone posts about thinking about drinking stuff they could control- my relapse was over six months before I was strong enough to start again- even then 60 odd days since I have stopped I have had a weekend of drinking. Yes not to the level I have done in the past but the potential to fall back is sooooo there- and my drink. Went from red wine to vodka, whiskey, scotch, gin or anything I could find to give m a buzz. I ended up replacing my poison with another poison. Stay strong and stay safe


Enough babbling- well past my bedtime. Yawn!

Another al free day done- night night nesters :-)

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

You will do this, Jennie. I know it because you came back. And because you are strong. This is a strong foe, but not stronger than you. Please dump it right now and start again. :l

Maybe like me, a lot of things you've wanted over the years came pretty easily. It is scary not to win by force of will and I didn't have much resilience in the face of failure. But in this you have a team. Please let us help. I could never have made it this far without a lot of help from people here. You need to do this now, Jennie. You're tearing yourself apart.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

A very cold and chilly day here, I am so glad to be home and in my jammies at last!

On the subject of counting days, I do it. Like everything else, I suppose it depends on how you look at it. I celebrate and am joyful at each day that passes without drinking. I try to be as positive as possible, focussing on the good things about being sober rather than thinking about missing alcohol.

Of course it's not easy, and we all have drinking thoughts and urges, but I think the more days you get behind you, the more you want to maintain and protect that sobriety as there really is a lot to be thankful for for each day without AL! For me that helps when the drinking thoughts surface. I am an alcoholic, I guess I will always think about drink. As long as I don't pick up that drink, one day at a time, I guess I will remain sober. And that's what I want more than anything. More than winning the lottery, more than meeting my dream man, (finally!) :H more than anything else in this world I want to remain sober. If I DO pick up that drink, it's going to take me right back into the jaws of the beast. And remember, this is a progressive disease that can only get worse.

Honey, I am surprised you find AA depressing. I find it encouraging, and it gives me a lot of hope to hear the stories of other alcoholics sharing their hope, strength and courage, and also the joy and peace that being sober has brought into their lives. But each to their own. I always IMAGINED it would be depressing, but the meetings I attend are very far from it. I have found a lot of humour and friendship there.

Being sober is going to be hard work for any alcoholic, whatever path we choose it's not going to be like flicking a switch and hey presto!

We have to be strong, courageous, and not afraid to reach out for help when we need t. Whether we count days or not, use AA, SMART recovery, rehab, meds or any other method to help us with our quit, we have to put in the hard work to stay sober. It's probably going to be the hardest thing we ever have to do, so we better get our sleeves rolled up (like in Byrdie's av!) and get on with it!

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Welcome home Byrdie, you were missed.

i lived for the next roll call, I'd post that thing in the AM so I felt I couldn't go back on it and drink. Just my own little game in having a goal.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

In the first few months, there is a lot of thinking about not drinking. Sometimes I thought it would drive me crazy. Adding a post on the roll call was one positive part of my very long days.

Not posting there wouldn't have changed the fact that every day I was aware that lots of people were drinking but that I wasn't --- that I wanted a drink but wasn't going to have one -- that an event was coming up on the weekend that would be tough -- that this was hard.

You're going to think about it and you'd better. It has to be done right and you know it's not your default behavior to resist temptation or control your intake or you wouldn't be here. Why not give yourself the reward of posting a daily success? Get those moons and hats! We better have fun with his when we can because in the beginning, much of this really is not fun at all.

I now enjoy being a person who doesn't drink. I don't think about it "all the time" but I do think about it several times every day, with satisfaction. An occasional wish to drink comes in sometimes - I'm not saying everything is perfect but it isn't hard to dismiss those thoughts anymore. If I ever find that they are affecting me, I'll be back on that roll call posting my days so that I see in black and white that I have too much to lose.

And really, even one day is precious - protect it and allow those days to grow.

[halo]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1577048 wrote: i keep screwing up.
byrdlady: I am so sorry that I let you down
You too No Sugar
crap
I am so good at everything I do ..... except this.

Jenniech, just realize that you are not alone and that you did go AF for a significant period of time and that you CAN do it again. I am in the same place that you are, this is not easy, we just need to find that mindset that enabled us to previously succeed. We will find a way, because we deserve happiness..Remember the urge to have a drink dissipated with each AF day we had under our belt, after going back to AL I found the urges came back stronger than ever, I guess this is why the MWO motto is Protect your Quit at all cost.

You are not alone.