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    #42451
    Newbies Nest

    Byrdlady;1577127 wrote: I'mStrong, you may find good company over on the mods boards.
    Drinking the way you describe is what we all dream of, yet none of us can achieve. Maybe you'll be the exception. Unfortunately, alcoholism isn't temporary. It can't be turned off and on. Best of luck to you. Byrdie
    That's Byrdie. I'm not moderating. I'm not drinking today. I'm not drinking tomorrow. I'm not drinking. ODAT.
    10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

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      #42452
      Newbies Nest

      Byrdie is dead on (as usual). Moderation is not possible for an alcoholic. The way I see it, if we had any successful moderators here, they'd be in here proving us wrong. Drinking only 10 beers instead of 12 is not moderating.
      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

      Comment

        #42453
        Newbies Nest

        Wow, good evening Nesters!

        It's been a busy day in the nest, that's for sure!
        I've had a full day of work, watching my young grandkids & ended up at a Halloween parade up in town which is a first for me! The kids were so excited, dressed in their costumes. I would have missed that event if I was still choosing wine over life. I am one grateful granny

        Hello & welcome Chasing!
        Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is the big first step, good for you! Making a commitment to take back control of your life & making a good plan are the next steps. I made a solemn vow to myself to dump all the leftover AL & buy no more. It was definitely a hard thing to do but it had to be done. I was tired of being disgusted & disappointed with myself. I have never regretted my decision. You can do it too if that's what you truly want!

        Jennie, sorry you turned back to AL. You are obviously an intelligent & accomplished woman. Try to identify the reason you keep repeating the same behavior. Whatever the problem is you can choose alternative ways to cope effectively without Al. You can do it too!

        Sanchez, I continue to count AF days because they reaffirm my decision to go AF & each day is a gift to me! My life would totally be in the toilet now if I had not made any changes.

        I am beat so I'll just wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
        Lav
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

        Comment

          #42454
          Newbies Nest

          Samstone I agree with something you posted earlier and now can't navigate back to find what it was..... Ah the joys of early sobriety brain fog.... Anyway enjoyed your post earlier today.

          Jennieh I proud if you for quitting tonight. I seriously recommend the hypnosis for alcoholism on YouTube .... Idk but I'm on day 3 again and haven't had much thought of drinking ... Takes about 30 min...I know you are strong and will get back on track

          ISAIC- sounds like your mind is just all over the place like mine. ODAT but I listened to a guy online today and he said the truth is you can't ever think you'll have a future date with a drink .... He says it better ... I'll try to find it.... That seems to be the decision you ( and I) have to make.... Good luck!

          Lavande ----- if you have time and would be willing could you share your backstory? Thanks

          Day 3 done .... Wish Dave would check in

          Comment

            #42455
            Newbies Nest

            Cat Belle;1577145 wrote: Okay quick check in then I will go back and read. Thanks to everybody for you support!! And congrats to everybody else racking up days, and really for being here and trying. This is a hard deal...

            I think Byrdlady asked if I could share any pointers/tips. It is hard for me to share feelings and right now it is all so fresh.

            I can't post anything really long right now because I am having a hard time trying to come to terms with everything being sober entails. It's hard to reconcile my thoughts/feelings without rambling, or to try and put it to paper.

            For me, I was just damn sick and tired of myself, the drinking, the anxiety which is 100 times worse when I am drinking. Funny paradox isn't it? We would like to think we drink to relax, but it causes the exact opposite. I am a much happier, RELAXED person NOT DRINKING. I have been sick of myself for a long time, and now that is changing.

            I will try to share the journey as I can if it will help. I think long time abstainers can attest to the rapid pace of self discovery that begins to happen. I can SEE the world now. I can SEE the people around me now. I can love now. Believe it or not even loving someone is different sober.

            Later
            Cat
            how'd you get the paw on the page??!

            hey, it didn't show up on my post with your quote, the paw that is.
            Liberated 5/11/2013

            Comment

              #42456
              Newbies Nest

              Hey Ican
              agree with you, I've been wondering how Dave and CD have been doing.
              Liberated 5/11/2013

              Comment

                #42457
                Newbies Nest

                Morning Nesters
                Coffee, cream, milk, brown sugar ready when you are.

                I'm holding a hot mug of the finest; beautiful day here: blue skies, some fluffy white clouds, bit of a breeze. Life is wonderful.

                Time to read back and see what everybody was up to in my last night.
                14 October 2013 was the first day of the best days of my life!

                Comment

                  #42458
                  Newbies Nest

                  Good Morning--MAE everyone,
                  DO, thank you for the delicious coffee. It's so nice to have you here so early in the morning!
                  What a great day it was for me yesterday--thank you for all the congrats. I carried you all in my heart, with a smile on my face as I went through the day. For me it was really a day to celebrate-my daughter and I went out for some shopping and coffee and cake to do it up!! As many of you mentioned, each day without alcohol is a day to be grateful. Every single day I think about how much better my life is now. All of the problems, which of course still exist, can be dealt with! Never thought it possible. I would even say I was mostly a "functioning" alcoholic-- but how completely exhausting and depressing it was.
                  I also live in a town where drinking is CRAZY-- and it's allowed to drink in the parks, on the street, in public transportation-- a party 24/7-- I really had to consciously change the way I think. It has taken time, but I don't feel like I'm missing out any more- -I love my life without and I just wish now that I'd been able to stop earlier.

                  I have to run into work because my co-worker is sick as a dog-- thank god I'm of sound mind!!!
                  :l and strength to all of you! For those struggling, don't give up, never give up. We all have to fight for our lives at times but I believe it is worth it. 100%.

                  Comment

                    #42459
                    Newbies Nest

                    morning nesters

                    Thanks for the coffee DTD, much appreciated. I have skimmed through all the posts from last night, lots of interesting stuff.

                    For me, I was just damn sick and tired of myself, the drinking, the anxiety which is 100 times worse when I am drinking. Funny paradox isn't it? We would like to think we drink to relax, but it causes the exact opposite
                    Exactly Cat, well said.

                    I don't have a lot of time this morning, a very busy day ahead again. Stay strong and happy Halloween everyone! :l
                    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                    Comment

                      #42460
                      Newbies Nest

                      Cat Belle;1577145 wrote:

                      For me, I was just damn sick and tired of myself, the drinking, the anxiety which is 100 times worse when I am drinking. Funny paradox isn't it? We would like to think we drink to relax, but it causes the exact opposite. I am a much happier, RELAXED person NOT DRINKING. I have been sick of myself for a long time, and now that is changing.
                      A lightbulb went off when I read this....Thanks Cat Belle!!!!!
                      My BIGGEST problem when fighting the urge to drink every late afternoon is the mounting feelings of anxiety. I just realized something.....BECAUSE I am drinking, that afternoon anxiety is getting worse and worse and worse.....How come I never put the two together???? I have been using every other challenge in my life as the excuse for the anxiety and need to drink. HOW STUPID> So, I will focus on remembering that the anxiety is BECAUSE I am drinking and if I STOP, the anxiety will eventually dissipate.....just like it did last time I had a long period of sobriety....
                      :thanks:
                      I just won't anymore

                      Comment

                        #42461
                        Newbies Nest

                        Jennie- the first couple weeks, there were days when I would seriously clench my teeth, go into a crying fit, etc. my husband was great about it. Twice that I remember, I got up, ran out of the room and threw myself on the bed like a toddler for Christs sake. It can be done. I would literally at times jump up run outside and pull weeds, pace, I looked like a crazy woman...wringing my hands......I would get on here and type out my thoughts, basically talking myself through it. It can be done. You may feel batshit crazy at times, nervous, tearful, the list goes on. I did eat a fair amount of warm donuts. I gotta tell you warm bread with glaze on it.....OMG, what is better than that! I mean WARM BREAD WITH ICING!!!!! (Sorry NS)
                        Catawprint:



                        "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                        -Alan Cohen

                        Comment

                          #42462
                          Newbies Nest

                          Sam- I don't remember how I got it there......lol
                          Catawprint:



                          "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                          -Alan Cohen

                          Comment

                            #42463
                            Newbies Nest

                            Oh Sam , it's under the smiles listawprint:
                            Catawprint:



                            "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
                            -Alan Cohen

                            Comment

                              #42464
                              Newbies Nest

                              Cat Belle;1577265 wrote: Oh Sam , it's under the smiles listawprint:
                              Cat,
                              thanks, I have never used those things so I just looked. Wow there are a bunch of those things. I like that one.
                              Liberated 5/11/2013

                              Comment

                                #42465
                                Newbies Nest

                                Good morning Nesters & Happy Halloween :devil:

                                A big fog rolled in here overnight but no rain so far.
                                I miss having neighborhood kids coming to the door for treats - they just don't do that out here in cow country, oh well. I did get to the Halloween parade in town last evening with my grandkids & that was fun

                                Wishing everyone a safe & AF Halloween!
                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                                Comment

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