Newbies Nest

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters!!! Good evening!!! I am going strong - 18 days today AF! Feels wonderful - just seems I can't sleep in, getting up a lot earlier. Falling asleep is not a problem.

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Sanchez, Dream, Lavande, Gambler, anyone else who wrote kind words of wisdom. I feel so mortified and so darned angry for letting myself and actually all of you down, you are all so supportive and I ended up failing. Can't believe it. I didn't expect it. I was doing so well - or thought I was. How can I be so weak? My husband doesn't know I've stopped drinking because he'll make such fun of me (but see later), he can be dreadfully unkind and I just feel very fragile inside at the moment and so I just feel I need to do this alone at the moment. My problem was not planning properly, I can see that now. I was really stupid. If I'd had any common sense I'd have bought him some alcohol during the day while I was strong, because I should have realised that he would have been expecting to have a drink. I'd have bought him beer, which I loathe and wouldn't have tempted me. I'm particularly angry with myself because I was so optimistic and so happy. I was just stupid not having any strategies in place to get me through a bad day - feeling depressed, unhappy day at home, a terrible meal that we both tipped away, then despatched to the bottle shop. So angry, I thought I was stronger. It was nobody's fault except mine. I drove there, I could have just bought it for him. I didn't have to pick it up from the shelf. Pay the money. Can't believe I was so weak. And to cap it all, despite what I'm saying about him not knowing I've actually given up, he has noticed I haven't drunk all the week because when I walked in with the alcohol, he said "oh, you gave in then, did you?" Yes, dear. I've struggled, failed, and now I'm back to square one. Let's all clap, let's ring the kids and tell them. She failed.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters. It's evening here and I'm just catching up on posts. Feeling a bit better today. Thanks for the well wishes. More layoffs at work today. It seems like they will never end. Days like this used to be a drinking trigger for me - watching your friends escorted out of the building - but not today. I came here instead. I am still sad though and needed to vent.

Willow - nice to meet you and welcome back.
Brighter - my hangovers got worse over time. Trying to work with a hangover is sheer torture. K9's description says it all. Glad to be done with the awful anxiety too. Hang in there.
Bhalo - You sound good these days. I'm so happy. You have worked so hard and deserve your happiness. Enjoy your date
Sixtyfour - I just read your last post. Please be kind to yourself. We all struggle, especially at the beginning. You haven't failed. You came right back and posted, right? You're still in the fight. Don't give up. We are here.
LB - please post soon so we don't worry. xx
Byrdie - an EMPTY box? Sorry, I did laugh, but I'm sure you wanted to scream.

And to all the other nesters - peace and have a good night.

[broken halo]

Newbies Nest

sixty four, I just caught your post. I am sorry you are not getting the support you need from your husband. Don't give up on giving up, you'll find a way and you have us now.

Rose, I am so sorry to hear about what's happening at work. I have some friends going through consultation right now, it's awful. Vent all you need to, that's what we are here for!:l

I really am going to bed now! Goodnight everyone!

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

hey Mossy
way to hang in there. Glad you check in here instead of "checking out". Thinking of you
Sam

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Myluck;1582153 wrote: Hi nesters!!! Good evening!!! I am going strong - 18 days today AF! Feels wonderful - just seems I can't sleep in, getting up a lot earlier. Falling asleep is not a problem.

Myluck!! 18 days is awesome!! I hope you are seeing the benefits of shedding the baggage! You are doing just great and I'm so proud of you! Keep up the hard work and you'll be getting your hat for 30 days! Great job! Byrdie

[betterbrighterdays]

Newbies Nest

sixtyfour- I am sorry your husband acts like that toward you. Changing your life for the better and not indulging in a normal escape is hard enough without others having a negative attitude. :l Is there anyway he can buy his own booze at the moment?

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Birdlady!!! All support you give me is priceless.

[sixtyfour]

Newbies Nest

Thank you, Moss, Broken Halo, Better Brighter - it is hard, yes, when he's so unsupportive. He enjoys his drink, but he can take it or leave it and he simply doesn't understand that I can't, and his way of supporting anyone in anything is to tell them to get a grip, jolly them along then lose patience because whoever it has hasn't taken his advice. He means well, and we love each other dearly, we are soul mates but he's just hopeless at understanding. When I gave up once before, I discovered that he'd told all the children - who were stunned that I routinely drank to excess - and they were all talking about me behind my back! That's why I don't want him to know I'm giving up for good until I'm a little way down the line. Christmas maybe, though nobody is going to realise the real reason why I'm not drinking, because I'm the one who will be driving everyone to their homes later in the day (as usual!). So I don't normally drink at Christmas. As for him buying his own alcohol - no, I do the shopping, he doesn't normally go out, but thank you for the thought. The only time he buys alcohol is when he does it online - a couple of months ago, the postman delivered 6 cases of red wine, 4 cases of white! Sigh. I've told him not to order me any anymore as I prefer to make a conscious decision whether or not to drink, and having it all there on the rack is just too easy. Worst thing about last night's foolishness was that it was all set to be Day 5 - I've never got past Day 4 before! I am feeling more positive again - the blessed rain is here at last so it's wonderfully cool, and now I have a strategy in place. I shall be buying him a crate of beer (which I wouldn't drink if it were the last drop of liquid on the planet), and keeping it in the fridge which I shall top up regularly. Must keep on top of the shopping so I'm not flying out at wine-witching hour to get Mother's pint of milk that I've forgotten.... need to organise my life better. I have a very busy (and happy) lifestyle with 90 yo mother, babysitting grandchildren while a daughter works long hours, and all the aviaries and the garden, so I don't have much time to sit around gazing at my navel, thank Goodness. My husband is right - I do need to get a grip, stop feeling sorry about giving in yesterday, and start looking forward to good health and happiness. I've got a straight run through till Christmas - no social stuff to tempt me, and it's basically all down to me. Hey ho, onward and upward, and thank you so much for caring about me. Hope you all sleep well up there, and have a great day if you are down here.

[MossRose]

Newbies Nest

64 - I'm speechless. 10 cases of wine? Wine was my poison of choice so I guess this hits hard. I know I couldn't have been as strong as you. But, I'm struggling to understand what you mean by "he told the children." He told them what? That you had stopped drinking. And who was talking about you behind your back? Your children, your husband? Were they happy, sad? Honestly, I'm not trying to be difficult. I just want to understand so I can perhaps offer some good advice. Does your family think you have a drinking problem? Or do they deny it? I know...too many questions. But I only ask out of love. xx.

[3June2013]

Newbies Nest

64 glad to hear the weather has cooled off and you're feeling better. Sounds like keeping only beer in the house is your best bet if hubby must have it around. You did say he can take it or leave it, would he consider leaving it for the first while of your quit perhaps?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I've read through the last few pages & want to congratulate everyone for sticking to their plans & moving forward. An AF life is precious & one you'll never regret.

Sixtyfour, I can't help but think you are making excuses for your husband's rather shitty & selfish behavior. But that's your choice, I will shut up!
I do wish you would draw some boundaries with him though as an important part of your plan. We all want to see you succeed & meet your goals.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Evening all. My quit is the most important thing in my life. I protect it with every strategy I have learned on mwo.
Forever is a scary word. I don't think that far ahead. I do plan fun weekends, vacations, holidays around my af lifestyle. One day at a time is fine for me.
A lock on my bedroom door to stop things from disappearing. Nothing big yet but obviously stuff is missing. $.
It takes a long time for bad habits to be replaced with good ones. We are retraining two who have lived on the streets stealing and doing what it takes to support a heroin habit. It will get better. They are both good people. In the mean time, send positive vibes my way please.

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Little beagle - my prayers are with you! Sending positive vibes too ��

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

64 when I began this journey, Hubby and I both drank heavily. He fought tooth and nail against my quit. I am winning. But I had to set boundaries. #1. I told him the way it was going to be. You might keep drinking, but no al in my space or my face. Surprisingly after the first couple of weeks, he did that. After the first couple of months his pride in me grew. A little more time passed, he wanted to join me. We got ab for him and he will be at 90 days a little later this month. Our not drinking resonates a lot farther the we think it does.
Don't be discouraged. You can do this.
Bhalo so glad you are sounding good.
Available keep up the good work. It's almost over and the time to be proud is the best part. That will be a lifetime memory.
Nite all.