Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I think of you often, Little Beagle - your commitment to staying free, your clear-eyed but compassionate view of the world, your acceptance of others' frailties, your ability to be positve and encouraging in the face of huge family challenges - you show such grace under pressure. Knowing you has helped me change how I react to some of the normal ups and downs of life. Many good vibes are being sent your way :l.

[DreamThinkDo]

Newbies Nest

Day 26

MAE Nesters!

Sun's up here, and it's going to be a beautiful day

Coffee's ready

Dave, the scones .... well, you could try them, but LC has sweet potato cakes - you might have better luck there.

Ican: :cupajoe: Day *10 for you?

Going to read back now; chat later

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

LB
you are an amazing person, and so is your husband.

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK Nesters ! Its great to see how some of you have been using this. I was rotfling. It was intended for a humorous spin on MAE .. Only you guys picked it up and started running with it LOL I didnt think it would last more than a few post ! You guys are too much rofl ! Good evening everyone ..

Willow23;1581987 wrote: I'm still scared of going AF though. It's such a long, hard road and I'm scared of failing like so many other times.
Hi willow. Fear is the single most reason I see others fail in my short time being here. For being such a Powerful emotion I can see why it works so well to break so many Quits. Its not a long hard road either. Thats your fear again telling his buddy self doubt to jump on in the party ( they love working together in all aspect of life ). Dont fear and dont have any self doubt..period. I hope you read Byrdies post she made this morning..very powerful stuff in it. Stay strong and be positive K..



sanchez;1581995 wrote: Dave - it's okay chickee to call me "man" every now and again! I'll retaliate with a feminine term of dearment too! Deal girlfriend? teehee Btw your analogy of the fork in the road is very visual for me. The path to al is dark, dreary, kind of like the wizard of oz forrest and the path to being af is hopeful with lotsa options - kind of like the songs in the thread you started a while ago. Anyway, good luck today with the attorney. Remember you are a great dad and if the attorney asks you can honestly say "Nope, I don't drink!"

Yes he did..and yes I did ;-) .. I will get to that.
Going with girlfriend doesnt bother me at all..makes my feminine side stand out which is always a positive thing when hanging out with a bunch of females
Your description of the "fork in the road" was very colorful .. and although Im not a fan of the wizard of oz I can relate on a Freddy Kruger with a touch of The Twilight Zone Vs. Its a Wonderful Life with a blend of Being There..



Byrdlady;1582021 wrote: GWAWK! I like it!

I am struck by a couple of things in this morning's posts:
Addict thinking.
Here's why I can't stop drinking: ___________.

That was always MY excuse. I am in the business world, I hang out with folks who drink, my family drinks, the whole world drinks, how am I going to be the only person in the Northern Hemisphere who doesn't drink??

You FIND a way and you make a choice. Do you want to live? Then you'll find a way NOT to drink again. For me, that's what it was coming down to....either I give in for the 100th time and take the path I know, or I try something different. One leads to death and despair, but I don't know where the other one leads....UM...in this case it sounds like a no brainer....but you'd be surprised. So many choose death and despair rather than TRYING the other way!! Sounds nuts, doesn't it? The AF path just sounds like NO fun. How can anybody do it?? I am here to tell you, I fought it tooth and nail myself, but seeing is believing. In my AF life, I enjoy MORE of everything! I have much more FUN than I ever did when I was drinking. There is a difference in our perspective of FUN. Falling down drunk does not equal fun, but that's what we think.

'Where'll I go, What'll I do without Alcohol????' (with apologies to Miss Scarlett and Rhett) 'Frankly, my Dear, I don't give a dam!' That is my attitude about what other people think. This is MY life and AL was killing it. What other people thought seemed to matter more so at first than it does now....now I see that nobody cares NEARLY as much as I think they did. IF they are our friends, they want us to healthy, right? You wouldn't give a peanut allergy person a sack of Cracker Jacks! This is the same thing... we must avoid AL. It's easier than you think, too. I promise. NOBODY shoves it in your mouth, it is always YOUR CHOICE. Just say, NO THANKS! Yes, it's that simple. Anything you say to yourself to keep the addiction alive is mind chatter! That is DickHead trying to get you to cave. Man (as a species) doesn't need AL to live. You can trust me on that one. In fact, if you want to live BETTER, have MORE fun at parties, and appreciate LIFE, you'll quit today and stay quit. I would have never thought it possible until I did it myself!! If you really think about it, we are in the fight of our lives...so yes, one drink CAN kill us, because it only leads to more.
If those people think ill of you for breaking a 45 year tradition then shame on them! If they really knew what AL was doing to you they wouldn't let you have it. If all of our loved ones REALLY KNEW what was going on in our heads they would never allow us to drink again!! Most of us don't get into that kind of detail with our SO's, so we have to be our own stewards. Be your own best friend, don't let YOU have any...nary a drop! You will turn out to be the best friend you ever had!!
It does take some time....we didn't get into this jam overnight and it takes some time to get out of it....but it will happen if you give time, time! I promise, it's better than the alternative. Byrdie
Hi Byrdie..I chose to not edit your post and leave it in its entirety. Lots of Emotion in this..very powerful words you put down backed by your Emotions. This is one of the strongest posts I have felt from you in a while. This is the kind of post ( that was tucked away somewhere here at MWO ) that on Sept. 9th at 2am moved me to the sign up page..Never touched a drink since. I wonder if someone will find this gem in the future changing the course of that lost soul.

DreamThinkDo;1582051 wrote: Dave, will see what I can do re scones - herb? cheese? Herb please..oh and can I have both regular and golden raisins in mine.. :-)

Betterbrighterdays, Willow23, BBD again, Dotty Belle, Byrdie again, BH, Myluck and MossRose .. I was going to reply some quickies for you ..but I somehow lost track of time reading Byrdies post a few 4 times or so. But all the best to you all.

64 .. I didnt want to miss you ..
I feel so mortified and so darned angry for letting myself and actually all of you down, you are all so supportive and I ended up failing. Can't believe it

You didnt let us down..dont do that to yourself ok :l . I want to make this clear. Brush yourself off and move on ! Dont look back .. not now. Hang in there ..


Its a little later then I expected but here I am to spill some of the beans. Im sure most of you will appreciate that while I have now retained an attorney I should be sensitive on what I disclose on an open forum. So I will tell you as much as I can without really telling too much ..

Basically I feel greatly relieved for having someone looking after me and my boys lives together. I was very nervous at first..not knowing what he was going to say but that was removed for the most part after the meeting was over. Its very hard for me to not tell every detail seeing as you have been along for the ride all this time..but man.. I probably shouldnt. I do feel that in the end they will have more time with me. .. Tell you what guys..I will spill the details as they happen. The main thing is I dont have this deep feeling of anxiety and hopelessness. Sure things are still tough but at least the ball is rolling now. I do think Im going to find a counselor or pastor .. or anyone that I can confidentially sit down with and just let it all out during this whole thing. You guys are absolutely right about me not stuffing my feelings and emotions inside. OH and he did mention something about me going through a divorce..without my boys..and quitting drinking at the same time being 3 major life events all happening at the same time. He expressed his feelings like you all have.."man thats pretty tough..and it speaks a lot about you"

I did spend a few hours with them after work which felt great on one level..but then when it was time to go back to "grandmas" they again expressed their desire to spend more time with me. I wanted so badly to tell them everything but I know that they really dont care about the details..only about the results . So I just told them that I was doing everything that I could to bring us more time with each other..and to hang in there for a short time longer. They are some real troopers..

Well this only took me about 2 hours to write and Im very exhausted from my day so Im going to skeedattle into a warm pile of blankets. Ill bet 10 bucks that I will sleep very well tonight though lol.

Wishing the nest my very best and thank you all again for helping me in so many ways.

Dave.

PS. oh yea..and your stuck with me now. I was advised to keep posting daily for my abstinence "record". Even though I was always wondering how one would Prove that he/she doesn't drink anymore.

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Everyone:

End of day 5 and after a 14 hour work day, put a fork in me, I am DONE. After a day like this I would normally have some whiskey (and by some I mean too much) and go to bed, waking up more tired than when I went to "sleep." K9, your advice to remember the worst hangover is sound. I can actually taste the nasty, sour, dry mouth that comes with a hangover, and it makes me not want that whiskey at all. Thanks for the "image."

64 don't beat up on yourself. How would you treat your son or daughter who had messed up? A stern, "you messed up, but I love you. Let's work together to see if we can help you avoid the same mess up in the future." Work with yourself and the lovely people here at MWO to avoid the same mistake (sounds like you already have a plan to avoid the same situation). I am saying these words to myself as well as to you - I am only on day 5 and know that I have to work to be nicer to myself while also keeping my focus on what is best for me - the alcohol free life.

Little Beagle, I have followed your journey here in my lurking days. I have a lot of respect for how you have been so strong in leading positive change for you and your family.

Byrdie - I love your treatises. You always have the right words at the right time.

Willow, welcome. A great, supportive bunch here.

Is there any way I can scroll back while I am writing a post and look at all of the posts without losing what I have written?

Anyway - happy Thursday. Have safe, sober nights.

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Pav
to save your post and scroll back:
highlight your post, control c (command c if Mac) = copy
scroll to wherever, when you're ready, back to the message block, control v = paste

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Thanks DTD! And GWAWK all else I'm beat!
Day 10 done

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1582021 wrote: GWAWK! I like it!

I am struck by a couple of things in this morning's posts:
Addict thinking.
Here's why I can't stop drinking: ___________.

That was always MY excuse. I am in the business world, I hang out with folks who drink, my family drinks, the whole world drinks, how am I going to be the only person in the Northern Hemisphere who doesn't drink??

You FIND a way and you make a choice. Do you want to live? Then you'll find a way NOT to drink again. For me, that's what it was coming down to....either I give in for the 100th time and take the path I know, or I try something different. One leads to death and despair, but I don't know where the other one leads....UM...in this case it sounds like a no brainer....but you'd be surprised. So many choose death and despair rather than TRYING the other way!! Sounds nuts, doesn't it? The AF path just sounds like NO fun. How can anybody do it?? I am here to tell you, I fought it tooth and nail myself, but seeing is believing. In my AF life, I enjoy MORE of everything! I have much more FUN than I ever did when I was drinking. There is a difference in our perspective of FUN. Falling down drunk does not equal fun, but that's what we think.

'Where'll I go, What'll I do without Alcohol????' (with apologies to Miss Scarlett and Rhett) 'Frankly, my Dear, I don't give a dam!' That is my attitude about what other people think. This is MY life and AL was killing it. What other people thought seemed to matter more so at first than it does now....now I see that nobody cares NEARLY as much as I think they did. IF they are our friends, they want us to healthy, right? You wouldn't give a peanut allergy person a sack of Cracker Jacks! This is the same thing... we must avoid AL. It's easier than you think, too. I promise. NOBODY shoves it in your mouth, it is always YOUR CHOICE. Just say, NO THANKS! Yes, it's that simple. Anything you say to yourself to keep the addiction alive is mind chatter! That is DickHead trying to get you to cave. Man (as a species) doesn't need AL to live. You can trust me on that one. In fact, if you want to live BETTER, have MORE fun at parties, and appreciate LIFE, you'll quit today and stay quit. I would have never thought it possible until I did it myself!! If you really think about it, we are in the fight of our lives...so yes, one drink CAN kill us, because it only leads to more.
If those people think ill of you for breaking a 45 year tradition then shame on them! If they really knew what AL was doing to you they wouldn't let you have it. If all of our loved ones REALLY KNEW what was going on in our heads they would never allow us to drink again!! Most of us don't get into that kind of detail with our SO's, so we have to be our own stewards. Be your own best friend, don't let YOU have any...nary a drop! You will turn out to be the best friend you ever had!!
It does take some time....we didn't get into this jam overnight and it takes some time to get out of it....but it will happen if you give time, time! I promise, it's better than the alternative. Byrdie

Dead on, Byrdie!

[Mr Vervill]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters!
Hope everyone's strong today.
Available, Good luck on the wedding, remember, all the stress leads up to the day. Reward yourself with an AL-free toast to the bride and groom.

Dave, Wishing you luck with the new attorney!

Lav, So right. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Willow, what's the Mother's ruin you mention? AF will make you that smart person, you know that already. As Sam Says, redirect your thoughts, I don't drink.

New Beginning, welcome back, Day 3! Great.

Sanchez, Keep up the good work, Man, err, Girl!

DTD. got to get up early one day to enjoy that coffee!

BetterBrighter, welcome.

K9, the description of your hangover, been there, sucks for sure

SD, Welcome back, good to see you again.

Byrdie, It's amazing how things get sooo screwed up, the larger the Co., the more screwed up. I hate how it reflects on YOU. An empty box!? Damn, that's just wrong.

LB, The lock does not sound like a good thing. I'm thinking of you. Any way out of this situation? I know it's family, but you and your sobriety is what's most important. Sometimes it's OK to be selfish.
wishing the best for you.

BH, I'm so happy for you. Someone else sees the work the work you're doing for yourself. I hope it's positive for you. Scary, yes, but go ahead and take the leap. If it doesn't work out, just say no, just like AL.
Sixtyfour, Please don't be so hard on yourself. Damn the hubby, he can get his own bottle if he wants. You have not failed, keep up the fight. We're here for you.

Moss, lay-offs just plain suck.

Sam, That you with the fiddle? Nice.

My luck, Way to go on 18 days.

LB, Just read your latest post. Your heart is so big. I hope you and hubby can get through this. You're both doing so well.

GWAWK!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

MAE!! Running out the door to work. Thanks for the coffee, DO! It's delicious as usual and today is with apple.
Everyone is doing great, staying strong, staying on track, working through problems, revising plans. That's what it's all about. See you later..

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Mr V, it's a book written by a lady who had an alcoholic mother and I think as she herself grows up, she turns to alcohol too but comes out the other side. It sounds like an inspiring read.

Morning all, I feel good today. Had a really good night's sleep. You know, before when I quit, I wrote down how awful I felt with a hangover - obviously that wasn't enough to stop me going back to AL so I thought let's turn this on it's head and write about how GOOD I feel when I'm sober. Sounds obvious doesn't it, but I've just never really thought about it that much. It was just, 'Ah, I feel better today' and left it at that.

My husband is being very supportive. Some of the older ones might remember that sometimes he could be a bit of a dick about my drinking - even though he doesn't drink himself. He'd make snide comments about it which just made me think, 'Fuck you, if you're going to be mean anyway I may as well drink'. Yesterday he told me that he's proud I'm doing this and he'll help any way he can. And that was that, he didn't harp on about it, which is good because I don't really want to discuss with him too much. He's never understood my problem and bless him, just ends up being really judgemental.

Have a good day everyone x

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters

Rain yesterday, sun today ~ nice!

Wishing everyone a peaceful AF Friday. Make plans for an AF day & weekend, make yourselves proud

Lav

[Myluck]

Newbies Nest

Morning all! Have a great day! I am taking my husband to a GI doctor to talk about his pancreatitis and I seriously hope this doctor will re-confirm no AL ever! EVER! Did I hear you correctly? Not even a beer? YES - NEVER!!!

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

My Luck
and is there such a thing as "a beer"?

[gambler]

Newbies Nest

GWAWK Nesters ..

Just a quick check in while my car thaws out.

Slept great as expected even though there was some slight belly irritation this morning. I sure hope its just that tuna casserole I ate the other day ( actually it was tuna helper...forgot to take something out of the freezer lol ).

So its friday eh..well everyone strap on their sober boots and have a great weekend !

Dave