Newbies Nest

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

GWAK Friday Nesters

Very quick check in - this morning I realized that I take better care of my TOILET than my body (just an example, folks). Even my car gets the best fuel and oil to keep it running smoothly. Would I pour poison into the radiator? Or loads of sugar and processed foods into the gas tank?

As I said earlier, I've been totally out of control with what I'm stuffing in my face, "giving myself permission" because I'm not drinking.

I've also told you about the 'fake' wine - the alcohol-free stuff. I know it is about 60 calories and 21% fruit juice - but did I bother to read further?? Last night, after having my 2 glasses of too-sweet fake white wine, I had 2 glasses of fake un-red tasting wine. It had nothing to do with tasting good or getting buzzed. I'm not making the connection with what the desire/craving/need is here. I just felt COMPELLED to have it - and wanted it. Pavolv's dog? Why am I drinking this? Why do I want more?

This morning I was actually going to go to Dunkin Donut (I have a coupon) for a 'spicy sausage breakfast sandwich' - how is this nuturing my body and giving it what it needs to support my life??? I'm just really aware this morning of how much control my thoughts have over what I eat or drink - beyond all the knowledge, logic and authentic appetite that I have.

Welcome to the start of another AF weekend.

[Cat Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters!

Happy happy Friday! This is day 40, I know, I know, not really a big milestone! But I feel like celebrating it!

Funny thing happened last night. I was dead tired, feet hurting like hell after a 13 hour day, husband cooked dinner and while we were eating, all of a sudden my tummy did a little flip, like little fireworks going off. I looked over at my husband and out of the blue said " I'm very excited about my life..." And I am. I don't remember EVER having that feeling when I was drinking. And I can't pinpoint the excitement exactly, except for knowing my potential to do or adapt to whatever comes along is a 1000 times greater now! What a wonderful feeling!

I would love to hear a little something from everyone along the same lines! About the small and BIG changes since quitting. I want all of you out there trying to quit to know that , yes, the beginning sucks and it is hard, but there comes a day very quickly where your life begins to bloom! Seriously, like a flower that slowly opens in spring, you start noticing these "brighter" spots in life. I was once very artistic. I shut all of that down, choosing to drink instead. I am rediscovering that side of me now. I missed her...

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters, I'm j-vo. I came here a few weeks ago. I started my own journal and post there daily, but I need to come here as I feel I need to give and receive support. I guess I as a little overwhelmed by the number that post here, and wasn't sure how to keep up. I counted a few days ago of regular posters in the nest and it was close to 25 I think. Each day was close to four pages. Now, I can look at that and feel overwhelmed, which I automatically panic at such things, or I can look at it like, "Wow, look at all the beautiful people here that are supporting one another with the same problem!" I'm going to look at the latter. Thanks for accepting me into the nest. I do appreciate it.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

How's your days going folks? We've just come back from my daughter's violin lesson - pouring down rain and all got absolutely soaked. Just bathed the kids to warm them up and now just eating lunch.

The shopping will be delivered soon (with no alcohol in it) and I'm feeling good still. I'm Strong - I totally get what you mean. I keep saying similar to myself - 'I'll eat that takeaway/sweets/crisps because I'm not drinking'. To be honest, I'm not bothered at this stage but definitely something for me to rethink at a later date.

This week here in the UK it was Bonfire Night so tomorrow night we're going somewhere to watch fireworks. I do t mind admitting that this has been playing on my mind - there's a bar there, lots of my friends will be there (drinking) and usually I would too. I was feeling kind of nervous BUT I realised today that I can buy some NA mulled wine and take it in my travel mug. It'll just look like I'm drinking coffee and then I can avoid the 20 questions scenario that I'm not comfortable with right now. It really is all about planning and being organised isn't it!

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Cat,

40 days is not nothing, for sure. I love your post. I think I mentioned that I signed up for the 21 days of gratitude meditation challenge. Well, life has intervened and I've only meditated 1 of 4 days (back to it this weekend), but I try to challenge myself to wake up with thoughts of gratitude. Right now it is easy to wake with the gratitude of no hangover and no regret (except maybe that 4th piece of Halloween candy). Keep those positive posts coming.

Welcome to the nest, J-Vo. It does move fast, but it is full of wisdom.

My Friday alcohol-free plan. Work, hike after work, cook a good dinner, and movie with the husband and kids. I made some really good herbal iced tea to I have something to pour over my Friday ice cubes. Weekends will be my challenge for sure.

Happy Friday, everyone. Have great, alcohol free days.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

j-vo;1582317 wrote: Hi nesters, I'm j-vo. I came here a few weeks ago. I started my own journal and post there daily, but I need to come here as I feel I need to give and receive support. I guess I as a little overwhelmed by the number that post here, and wasn't sure how to keep up. I counted a few days ago of regular posters in the nest and it was close to 25 I think. Each day was close to four pages. Now, I can look at that and feel overwhelmed, which I automatically panic at such things, or I can look at it like, "Wow, look at all the beautiful people here that are supporting one another with the same problem!" I'm going to look at the latter. Thanks for accepting me into the nest. I do appreciate it.

Hi, j-vo.

Hanging out in the nest is a great addition to your own thread and I think it is a good idea for several reasons. There is power in being part of a larger community and realizing each day that you're not 'the only one'. Plus, you'll read a wider variety of ideas and opinions.

Even though some people can manage to keep up with everyone, there is nothing wrong with responding specifically to a post that resonates with you. You're talking to everyone who reads, anyway. Some of the best advice I picked up was directed to others but applied to me as well.

Most importantly, I think we gain as much from the help we try to offer as from the advice we receive. As you type out what you think might be helpful for someone else, you are helping yourself. You are rewiring your brain. Just like that old "punishment" in schools of writing 100 times that you will not forget your lunch increases the odds of remembering to bring your lunch the next day, typing for someone else the advantages of not drinking makes it less likely that you will drink. The more you write it, the truer it becomes. Plus, once you put yourself out there offering advice, the commitment to walk the walk and not just talk the talk really hits home! No one wants to be a hypocrite!

Anyway, you're doing great and it just gets better and better. :h NS

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hi all.... Day * 11 here.... Cat Belle, in response to your request, I have been belly laughing lately. I mean really really laughing. It feels good. And 40 days is amazing!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Whatever And Whenever, Kids! I forget what GWAWK means, but it just feels good to say it!
Gambler, I'm so glad that things are aligning for you! I appreciate the kind words you offered. ALL of our positive Karma will be directed your way!
My Luck, good luck at the drs! Those GI guys can be brutal when they tell you NO ALCOHOL....they just don't know how that effects people like US!! They mays well be removing a limb!! Please let us know how it goes....
I use the left arrow key to go back and look at posts, but this is not without peril! I've lost a few in the wash!! SOMETIMES, yes, sometimes, you can get them back if you click your right mouse and hit UNDO!! Otherwise....she's gone. It's happened to us all!
Cat Bell....to Noah, Day 41 was a pivotal day in his life, too! :H For me, it was kinda like the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy opened the door and the world went from black and white to Technicolor! It was an amazing feeling! From despair and hopelessness to renewed appreciation for what the future holds!! I'm so happy for you! Sorry there's no prize for 40 days, but we'll find one for you when you hit 50, how's that sound??!!!! I am SO proud of you!
J-vo, welcome back! You know as I wander around the boards sometimes that people do get overwhelmed with the Nest and it's activity....'It's too much!' they say...'.It moves too fast!!', I'll read. However, the way I look at it, is that we've regained 4-6 hours of our day BACK by not drinking it away. Each page on this site holds 10 posts....Some days it takes me 30 minutes to get caught up and some days maybe a little longer...but I HAVE the time now. Plus, here are 15-20 folks doing the very SAME thing I'm doing...getting thru the day without caving to AL! AND, we are ALWAYS on point! It is a wonderful investment of time (in my opinion) and keeps us in the mindset that we are all ONE DRINK AWAY from disaster! Stay planted in this nest and you will just make it part of your day! This is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at the end of my work day. We were just discussing this over in the 100 day thread...being around others who are fighting the same feelings and life situations is key! We have ALL had the 'Feck-It's!! But how we negotiate our way thru those times is priceless! We have some real shining examples of that....Little Beagle, Dave, Dot Belle....just to name a FEW! So just take it like we take everything else around here...one post at a time...one day at a time!! We're glad you're here!!
I'mStrong...I hear ya about the fake wine. Early on, I sat down with some one night and found myself chugging it!!! WTH????? Dam! That made it pretty clear that I had a problem....I did NOT care for the syrup-like taste of it either (but I still DRANK it). Plus it was fairly expensive! ( I was a cheap drunk, after all!!) I moved on.

Friday's here at last!! Hallelooya! This was one for the record books!! I told hubs, if I make it the next 3 weeks I can make it thru anything!! Stay STRONG everyone! We've come too far to look back now!! Friday is JUST another day! XO, Byrdie

[sanchez]

Newbies Nest

Top of the morning, Gwawk, MAE nesters!

(Yes, Dave, Gwawk IS catching on! You are just too funny!)

Quick check in for me but the start of another beautiful, sunny, AF day here on the pond. Oh, where to start....

64 - Please, please don't be so hard on yourself. My heart went out to you as I read your post and cried. Your intentions are still there to maintain an af life - you can do it. Stay strong, we're here to help you through this.

Welcome J-vo! Yes, the nest is busy and hard to keep up with. Impossible to keep up with actually if you have other things to do, like work, sleep, eat, maintain a house/farm, etc! lol But it is interesting and full of love and support. I'll cruise over to your thread too - can't say I've been there yet.

Cat - you are so right-on. Once the al cloud dissipates, you see a glimpse of the person you once were! Projects again seem doable, your to-do list gets written again, the creative juices start flowing and it's like this big blanket of crap and dirt gets lifted. Your original self gets stronger each day and your productivity increases. Time you used to spend drinking or thinking about drinking is now spent accomplishing something. Even if it is an evening of simply watching TV - at least you're aware and remember what you watched!
And, in my case as I'm sure others, the self-esteem slowly re-emerged. The self-esteem al held as hostage for sooooo long. It's a new beginning and I'm just so thankful to wake up when I did and not spend any more time abusing my mind and body guzzling poison.

Memory improves overall which also makes you much more interesting at get togethers because guess what - you're the one remembering things. (the actor's name no one can think of, the movie or book no one can think of, the whatever it is that all of a sudden you're the one with the answers) And, 40 is a huge milestone! Pat yourself on the back!:goodjob:

Stong and in Control - I know what you mean about feeding ourselves other crap because we've been so good about abstaining from al. The sugar cravings hit an all-time high around 2 months and are starting to subside somewhat. But, I gave in to them because I thought at least I'm not drinking. Hoping over time, I'll be able to say "no" to the junk food voice as well. It should be the same technique used in the Rational Recovery book for al or drug use, but I'm not finding it yet.

Gotta run now - have a great AF Friday everyone!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Cold and sunny here...lots to do..
Hair do at 1 then hopefully a pedi too..then car needs gas and some grocery shopping too...
Need some ME pampering time so this is IT!!

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Holy GWAWK-amole!

This place is so busy it makes me little head spin. Normally my head would have been spinning this early on a Friday morning for different reasons. Thankfully, no more of that!

Wish I had time to post more but will have to do that later. I may even bring out the cheering squad to get us through this Friday.

K9

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

K9 I barely got 1 picture in here...u change daily?? Just to confuse us???

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Sometimes I change 2-3 times a day...just to see if anyone is paying attention! LOL Usually they aren't.

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Day 23 Noticeable changes

Dear nesters,

I thought I would share the feeling of quitting vs. drinking on my 23rd AF day.
So, here it goes:
Quitting VS Drinking
Feeling healthier ? Feeling sick
Feeling Happier - Feeling like shit
Sleeping much better ? Waking up in the middle of the night aching with remorse
Going to bed with a smile and waking up with a smile ? Passing out on the bed and waking up hung-over.
Feeling stronger and so very proud of myself ? Feeling like a failure and so very disappointed with myself.
Spending less ? Killing my funds
Socializing and meeting new people ? Isolating myself to stay home and drink
Making plans - Afraid to make plans and commit cause probably rather stay home and poison myself
Looking at myself in the mirror and love what I see - Avoid the mirror
Watching my food intake ? Binging on food not remembering what I ate

And that?s just on the top of my head. So let?s do the math. What do you think is better? Hmmm tough question.
Now I am not saying it?s easy. Actually, it is an everyday struggle. The cravings exist; the dark voices of ?let?s have a drink? are there but the will to stay sober fights really hard. So happy to have it win one day at a time. I don?t and won?t think about forever. I think that FOREVER is the scary word that leads us to drink again cause how is it possible? Not drinking for the rest of my life. Scary thought and hard to commit to. So just for today, I am not drinking and then tomorrow comes, so just today..
I am wishing you all an amazing AF weekend. Go out, stay in and celebrate your sobriety. It is the most wonderful gift I had given myself. I hope you?ll feel the same. :thanks:

[acadiaofmaine]

Newbies Nest

Ok, so here I am in the Nest! One more birdie settling in. It is indeed hard to catch up with you all, but I'm going to try to catch a couple of pages a couple of times a day!

Day 11 here. Yeah, the self esteem that AL wrecked. I am looking forward to seeing my real self emerge, I don't even remember who that is!

Everyone hunker down for a cozy Friday. In New York, it is getting bitterly cold and windy! I really want to meet a friend for dinner but I don't think I feel strong enough yet to go to a restaurant. The associations are just too intense! So home with books, TV and cranberry juice! And the Nest.

Ann